Bong Hits For Jesus @singingdrunkenlullabies - Tumblr Blog

A few bad people ruin it for everyone and I'm not mad at them. I'm mad at the system.

The majority of people that enjoy NSFW on this site are harmless and follow the rules. But now no one gets to enjoy it and that's a shitty shitty move for Tumblr.

Removing NSFW content all together instead of enforcing safe search or banning specifically harmful content is a fucking cop-out.

Idk man... this has made me lose respect for the platform.

#I wasnt using tumblr for anything other than porn lately #guess this is it #I might come back later #but tumblr never really felt like a place for me #until I got involved with the NSFW communities #but now those are gone #peace out tumblr

ursawood

mr tumblr staff my nipples are male presenting it’s fine

smothermewithaffection

So I got this ad on youtube...

It’s for U.S. Cellular, specifically advertising how great their streaming service is. You can even , the guy in the ad says, stream hours of grass mowing.

And I go… “wait a minute…that sounds weird…why hasn’t this ad ended yet?”

And I look at the bottom.

the ad is seven hours long.

smothermewithaffection

UPDATE

i’m half an hour in

the guy’s come back a couple times. his mower broke down and he went to get more gas. he came back and started it up again, drove around a few more times making comments about it being fun and “you still watchin? weird.” After a bit he took out a ruler and started measuring the grass.

smothermewithaffection

He pulled out a book and a lawn chair and started reading, but he just left and said he’ll be back soon

smothermewithaffection

he brought out an umbrella but it fell over so he left and came back and tried to fix it but it completely broke so he stalked off, dragging the chair behind him. i’m loving this.

smothermewithaffection

HE BROUGHT OUT A HAND-HELD UMBRELLA

smothermewithaffection

he’s really getting into the book

smothermewithaffection

He put away the umbrella and book and stuff and now he’s measuring the grass again.

smothermewithaffection

HE’S GONNA PLAY CROQUET

smothermewithaffection

the sprinklers turned on…i’m two hours into this thing

elodieunderglass

more compelling than real tv tbh

humorstaff

Teach me how to walk so graceful like this , I could never

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i was gonna ask if the thong was really necessary, but then i realized it’s none of my business and he looks so happy and glowing

inscrutablereynard

the thong is 1000% necessary

yachirobi

Sometimes the manliest thing you can do is be femme.

And his back. SCULPTED. WOOF.

hopefulgivereagle-deactivated20

I’m that women running for a picture

willyourun

I aspire to this level of confidence while femme

frostkings

“My cat out here just handing out my digits”

-my coworker on facebook

gallusrostromegalus

What parts of Canada are Wade Wilson and Logan actually from tho? This is an important part of Thier relationship that’s really overlooked.

Like, Thier canadianess in general is overlooked, but if Logan is supposed to be from NWT or something and Wade is from, IDK, Vancouver, there needs to be an inter-canadian smackdown.

gallusrostromegalus

Responses from The Canadians so far:

Logan: Multiple canon sources and Actual Canadians agree he’s from somewhere in northern Alberta, (Fox Lake and Cold Lake have both been cited)

Wade: True to form, there are multiple conflicting canons about which part of Canada Deapool is from, but all the Canadians agree that in order to get Like That ™, Wade Wilson is 100% definitely for certain from Winnepeg.

#amazing

xenocatartifacts

Official Giveaway Post Here!

RULES:

1. Must Like or Reblog This Post

2. Must be of Legal Age (I do check!)

3. Must have a Valid Address

4. You will have 24 hours to respond to my messages and if I can’t get a reply or send a message to your inbox it will go to the next raffled winner.

5. Multiple reblogs of the same individual will not count, please Reblog only once! Help us keep this fair! (If I notice abuse of this that person won’t be qualified to win the raffle. This excludes side accounts)

6. Giveaway entries end on the 15th of September and will only be tracked through tumblr. (There is a separate giveaway on our twitter! So feel free to check us out there @XenoCatArtifact

(Please make sure if you enter the twitter giveaway you are following us and Reblog. If you enter both giveaways that is fine! But each giveaway will have a different winner)

——————————————————

Thank you for helping us hit over 3,000 followers! As a thank you to everyone’s support I would like to offer the chance to win a

FREE CUSTOM + a Pack of 3 Squishy Friends!

The custom is of any current Small/Medium/Large toy that we offer and the squishies will be a complimentary surprise! Just submit a picture that you would like your custom based off of and I will make sure it is something absolutely spectacular! I will take requests into account for specific custom designs but can’t guarantee that it would be workable for some models due to their shape or size.

This discount does not apply to our XL models. If you have questions or would like to see what models we have available I will be happy to discuss this with you before you place your final order.

Thank you all so so much!

xenocatartifacts

This is the last day to reblog! The raffle ends at 12am tonight! (09-15-18)

honorarytenenbaum

oh my god do people here like toto’s africa ironically? but… i genuinely love it. jt’s so good.

officialjared19

Reblog if u genuinely love Africa by toto

lokirevenger

LGBTQ+ superheroes for Pride month ❤

mictheautistic

Nice try but the first 3 are not gay. You Tumblr degenerate send your wishful thinking. seriously do you people have to ruin everything…

romanovanatalia

Deadpool is pansexual. Loki is bisexual and gender fluid. Wonder Woman is bisexual like all the Amazons. Educate yourself about comic canon before saying something ridiculous.

anotherdaeondumblr

Do you have any reliable sources that can back this up?

glamourweaver

You mean… besides the fucking comics?!

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Wonder Woman was shown as canonically bisexual in the main DCU continuity in Wonder Woman: Year One (She was heavily implied to be numerous times before then but it was stated canonically in that comic that she had romantic and sexual relationships with multiple Amazons and left her girlfriend behind to journey to our world to stop the threat of Ares sons bringing chaos and war to the world)

She’s also canonically bisexual in Wonder Woman: Earth One where she straight up tells Steve Trevor that another Amazon is her lover and also in DC Comics Bombshells where she and Mera were girlfriends

Loki is canonically bisexual and generfluid…they have shifted from male to female multiple times stating that both are their real form and Odin, Loki’s father, referred to Loki as “Their child who is both male and female” in a published Marvel comics

And anyone who thinks Deadpool is straight has not only never read the comics but also apparently never been to see either movie either because I’m not sure what part of Deadpool grabbing Colossus’s chrome plated ass and dry humping him made them think “Yeah this is a Totally Straight Hetero Just Bros Being Bros”

peredurthefool-deactivated20200

Fucking fake nerd bros

vimeddiee

Loki is canonically pansexual and genderfluid!

It’s great to have at least one other pan hero where the distinction is made in canon.

dividusyliaster

Mason was curious what I was unwrapping and it was bubblegum, so i let him sniff aND HE REALLY DIDN’T LIKE IT

dividusyliaster

D I S G U S T

spacedlexi

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

topsiders-tanlines

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

dashaibo

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

frowningfox

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

dyospeaks

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

miscreant-side-puffs

agentatwell

virginiagentlenerd

1. Steve Rogers is not just some dumb soldier who follows orders, he thinks outside the box and asks questions and considers consequences.

2. Peggy Carter had plans to eat that boy alive before he became a delicious roast beefcake in Howard Stark’s hottie machine.

3. I don’t understand people who didn’t enjoy this movie.

saathi1013

LAUGHING FOREVER AT #2 BECAUSE PERFECTION

amuseoffyre

Roast beefcake is just added bonus:

sadieb798

everybody wanted to eat that roast beefcake

goatatemynametag

Seriously. In the taxi cab she was totally planning on taking his virginity.

And then he got all beefy and she was like “Shit. Heart of gold AND pecs that could crack a walnut between them? How am I supposed to deal with this?????”

manigotacrappyau

The nurse in the background is just thinking “Do it. Do it for all of us. Do him for all of us”

wickedcitywitch-deactivated2018

Have only seen this post in screenshots and I’m honored to come across it now

jxnathanbyxrs

@shayara “do him for all of us” bye

girlzilla

proud to reblog this for the tenth time

dipdamnderoo

I made a thing. Happy pride 🏳️‍🌈

berenshand

some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:

- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end - the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean - the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version - the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other - the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood - the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic - the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ - the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay - the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ - the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea - the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. - the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) - the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ - the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO

thatsnicebutimmarried

You are an excellent teacher

a-space-opera

acerotiburon

Sing me the song of your people SOUP! meow! Sing me the song of your friends SOUP! meow! Sing me a song for the good times SOUP! meow! Sing me a song, a song. HEY SOUP! meeeeoooow!