Single in a City

Just a woman in a city trying to date.

[duskonokc]

[singleladyinacity-blog]

OKCupid is like going to an overcrowded bar full over assholes and timid men alone and just repeating over and over in my head, “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here. But this is me trying, right?”

[singleladyinacity-blog]

I’m so judgemental

Don’t say “hey beautiful”

Don’t ask too many questions

Don’t just say Hi

Don’t string a bunch of thoughts together with ellipses...seriously...more than once...is too many...seriously...

[singleladyinacity-blog]

OKCupid

Alright, I’ve been on OKC for 32 hours. I have not looked at a single profile. I just put up my pics, filled in some info, and answered the match questions. 50 messages, 848 likes, and a 99% match with the one person I’ve already been on a date with. It’s overwhelming. I am very tempted to get the “A-list” status to help narrow my focus and whittle out some of those dudes. It’s $10 for the month and I can choose to only receive messages from guys within my preferred search parameters. And bonus! be able to look at profiles anonymously. I need to creep for a little. 

I’m going to pour myself a drink and start weeding through (and laughing at) some of these messages. But, trying to keep an open mind. 

[singleladyinacity-blog]

Tinder

It’s awful, for me. Friends warned me that’s it’s just a way to find sex, which honestly, I’m ok with. What I’m not ok with is trying to connect with a person based on a couple of photos and maybe a two sentence description. It’s just not for me. Multiple times I ran out of people to swipe. It’s my fault. I was being extremely picky and judgmental. 

Looking for some combo of: -27 to 32, tall, bearded, on a bike, with a guitar, skinny jeans, tattoos, edgy, with hair. I know it’s like every hipster douche ever, but, I like what I like. 

Deal Breakers: - sunglasses in your main pic (let me see your eyes!) - holding a fish (some viral article said men holding fish are more likely to get a right swipe,  - look short (hey if we’re talking just about looks, I’m a tall lady, I prefer a tall man) - blonde (again, i don’t know why this was a thing for me, IRL blonde guys can be cute, but on Tinder they just don’t do it for me) -too many sports references, especially hockey (I like sports but I don’t want to talk sports on a date) -that basic bitch look for men (hair short on the sides longer on top, flipped over with some product, a plaid button up with sleeves rolled up, maybe a vest or suspenders, neat beard, brown leather shoes/belt - works in finance/is an “entrepreneur”/business school -tank tops -polo shirts -guns -motorcycles

After a week and a half I deleted it. It ended up being a total time suck. I matched with 6 people, wasn’t interested in them enough to actually initiate any conversation, and only one messaged me first. We exchanged a little chatting about something in one of my pics then it stopped. I didn’t go in with the right mindset. 

It was also oddly hypnotic. I would be sitting up in bed and before I realized it 20 minutes had gone by and I hadn’t swiped right on a single guy. So it had to go. 

[singleladyinacity-blog]

I’m new here

I’m a straight woman in my late 20′s who semi-recently got out of a long term relationship (almost 8 years and most of my 20′s) that ended slowly and painfully. But once it was completely over, it wasn’t that painful anymore, it was just done. 

A few months later and I’m ready to get back out there. I feel like I need to document it because it’s not easy out there. I’m in a big urban area with A LOT of students and young professionals. So there’s a big pool, just not a big scene for guys I’m typically interested in. I also don’t have very deep connections here so I don’t know the “spots” to go or have a lot of friends of friends to dig in to. 

That means, I’ve decided to dip my toe into online dating. That’s what us millennials do, right? I feel like even if/when I go to a bar, people don’t talk to people they don’t know anymore. Not in a serious way. It’s intimidating and overwhelming but what else can I do? I’m not looking for anything too serious, just seeing what’s out there.