To the one person that found this blog I'm sorry I haven't posted undertale content in YEARS I'm not really active here anymore, might update but better just follow my main @draken-rotzi 😭🫶
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we're not kids anymore.
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@sinningpaws
To the one person that found this blog I'm sorry I haven't posted undertale content in YEARS I'm not really active here anymore, might update but better just follow my main @draken-rotzi 😭🫶
hey remember that one meme from twitter
(behave in my notes)
as horrifying as "jerry" (the episode) was the idea that bmo regularly hung out with the lich in this universe and rambled endlessly at him and the lich couldn't be bothered to do anything about it because he was so depressed after killing all life on ooo is really fucking funny
at the same time it's so interesting tho!! did the lich hate bmo in this universe? was he indifferent towards them? did he let them stay around because they alleviated the secret crushing loneliness he felt after he killed everybody on ooo? this new implied dynamic is so fascinating and it was only a minuscule part of the episode
CNC
The train rumbles. Ingo barely catches himself from falling over, grip tight on the safety strap overhead. He brings a gloved fist to his mouth, and gives a soft cough into it.
You cock a brow, and he gives you an imploring look. You grind the heel of your hand further into his cock, already aching and straining against his pants. Precum dribbles from the tip, the pain of you forcing his pants and boxers over the sensitive skin of his cock surprisingly addicting.
But Ingo can’t do this. You’re both on a crowded train. His coat can only hide so much, even with you standing close to him.
“P-please.” Ingo says in a whimper. Luckily, most people have their headphones in, unable to hear his just barely quiet voice. “St-stop-!”
He’s cut off with another stifled moan as you grab where the head of his cock. Ingo can’t stop his hips from jerking into your hand, grinding into your palm before the shame and horror of his actions catch up with him.
“Don’t-” Ingo gasps, your hand slipping past the band of his pants. He tries to grab your wrist, to pull you away, but the train jerks again, and he has to cover his mouth to hide his groan.
“Ingo.” You call, and he hates how you say his name.
“Don’t make me cum.” He begs from behind his hand. “Not here.”
You squeeze his cock through his boxers, then begin to jerk him off. The drag of the fabric sets his nerves on fire, and as his eyes roll back, Ingo grips his face hard, muffling his long, shaking moan. Cum floods his pants, sticky and wet and horrible.
Ingo feels so ashamed, tears budding as his eyes as he revels in the shame of cumming in public, all from being groped on his own train.
He looks at you, sniffling, and watches you wipe your hand off on your pants, uncaring. “You. . ?”
“Your extra pants are in my bag.” You wink, smiling at him. With the act gone and done with, a sense of ease washes over Ingo. He leans into you, ignoring the uncomfortable state of his pants to instead focus on you rubbing his back. “You did great, love. You feel okay? Need to sit?”
“M’fine.” He mumbles. He feels tingly, warm, a little like he’s floating on air. You ground him, though. “Can I have a kiss. . ?”
“As many as you like.” You promise him. “Once we’re back at your office.”
Ingo hums happily. He’s a lucky man.
Sean Connery and Harrison Ford - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
What I love about this is the weight behind this line. This isn’t just Dad’s personal belief, God is real and active in these movies. Both the Ark of Covenant and the Holy Grail Exist as proof.
before cooking an egg, do you poke a little hole into the shell?
no, why would I?
No. (I know the reason people do it but I don't do it.)
yes, obviously??
Yes (I don't really know why, though)
other/press button!/don't like eggs/vegan/slurp my eggs raw/vanilla extract/tags
Before I… crack them open?
....before you put them in here:
the water cup even comes with a little needle at the bottom for hole-poking purposes, see:
sorry i meant boil not cook
WHAT IS THAT
It's an egg cooker!
It's like a toaster and an electric kettle had a baby and ...the baby boils eggs.
#is this specifically a German thing#because Germans tend to have Opinions about eggs#also the only people I know who actually know how to use an egg cup are German#teach me your ways - I still don’t understand why you’d use an egg cup. and I can’t imagine boiling eggs not in a pot on the stove
no egg cup:
egg cup:
#why is the wobble an issue you pick them up one at a time shell then and eat them like not whole but just#you hold them and bite them and eat then till there's none left? why does this need extra tools
...at this point i'm sorry to introduce...the egg spoon.
Even better news about German egg related gadgets… the Eierköpfer (it also has a super long German name), for when you need a guillotine to open your egg neatly
No offence to Germany but why are you guys so fucking insane
nothing to see here. Just normal feelings about egg.
You make a hole so the shell doesn't crack completely while cooking. With a hole you get a bubble of egg at the top at most, without one, the egg might crack and you might have egg white everywhere, which is hard to clean.
Could I request bff Kohga comforting a reader that got stuck in the depths?
YES BUT LISTEN. I"M GOING TO HAVE TO WRITE A FULL FIC FOR THIS. BUT HERE IS A SNIPPET OF WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT. It's also been brought to my attention that there is a severe lack of Kohga fics in general...I don't do NSFW for him bc I just can't see him outside what would literally be my best friend but also I'm just him.
Clothed Touch
I've decided life is short and I'm going to write what I want. Hello! Hope this small, thirsty Ingo post pleases at least someone out there!
M' new to writing fics, say hi if you want haha. Would love to meet some fellow writers who are... er, a little depraved? ksksk.
Enough of a hello, though! Onward then--
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Pairing: Ingo x Reader
CW: 18+ (sexual content), clothed petting, some dirty talk, reader is a bit of a tease, short
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Yiga, Assemble! Oh wait this is a semi-serious story ([-})=* (Yiga/Forgotten Noble Reader)
Continuation of:
Setting: Tears of the Kingdom/Breath of the Wild and Pre-Calamity This is a condensed reader insert, no gender is ever specified in my writ
I'd like to think that Kohga has no recollection of who you are, but decided to help anyway because he couldn't pass you by. They're all literal murderers and criminals, mind you, but even with thousands of years of outdated moral codes to abide by, he's not always the best at doing the whole 'what would Ganon do' thing. Ironic, since he's the head honcho of their little family of murder-y evil worshipping freaks.
The tragic part of that is that you do remember. That doesn't explain how he's lived for over 100 years or if he was even alive back then now that the timeline has changed, but you suppose his longevity could potentially be attributed to some long-held secret of his family, provided their origin as ex-sheikah.
Yes, he is literally a century-old man-child. No, seems to have not matured one bit.
...and all the sudden you're sitting on the prototype of a car as he tinkers on the wheels, or exchanging small talk that's gone from distant and cold to something possibly... pleasant. It's a startling realization to find that you've come to actually 'tolerate' your captivity. You know very little about him, about them all really, but you've caught small glimpses of who they might be, and that shatters your already broken perception of reality even more.
This man, who lights up at even the smallest of breakthroughs. This man who draws in the sand his ideas for schematics and muses about what the future might look like, as if he actually believes that future might happen. This man who delves deep into the abyss without a hint of fear for the benefit of the people he cares about. At some uncertain point, to your deeply unsettling discomfort, that started to include you, too.
And....You were... Hopeless. For so many years. Wandering, aimless, uncertain of your purpose or why you were even there.
You were always forgotten, even before. You'd been forsaken by more than just the royal family, by more than the citizens of that accursed Kingdom of Hyrule, by more than the one person you thought you could consider a friend, a true friend.
Your life as it was before had meant nothing, and it ended without even a pitiful struggle at the hands of the very people who now kept you as one of their own...
Your last life spent as the discarded member of the royal family was ended at the behest of the Yiga. That likely meant that he himself had been the one to deliver the order to strike you down.
Stumbling upon the cobble roads of Castle Town, a paper bag filled with apples and trinkets... Your voice calling after him as you ran to catch up to him, waiting for him to spin around--
You both must've realized by now that you could have attempted to escape at any point, and yet you for some reason hadn't. Would he let you go? Would they spare your life this time? Were you ever really free to come and go in your own kingdom?
They were tragically misguided people.
...who came from broken families after your lineage had failed to protect them for eons.
..and in the end,
Not your death, nor the countless others, none of them meant anything. Not anything in the face of it all. At some point, realizing the fatal hubris of that wretched royal family, you came upon another startling realization.
Could you could have done something, had you not been so useless.
Had you found a place amongst the royal family, had you possessed grand powers like that of the crown princess Zelda, could the fathers and the grandfathers of these boys not been sent to die? Could that Calamity that you were no longer alive to witness have been halted had the country had one more leg to stand on? Could you have stepped up had you not been so weak by nature?
Could you have meant anything, after a life of living as if you weren't even there? Well, it seemed it really was true after all. Because now there was no one in this world who even knew you were there.
Dark eyes, that glinted faintly red if caught just right in the light of the setting sun. A curious look sent toward you from above the stone wall upon which he sat. A hand reaching out, waiting to pull you up.
"Jeez! That was one scary look you had just now. If looks could kill, I'd tell ya!" You snapped out of your thoughts, just to find a rag in your hand.... huh?
Oh, you were polishing dug-up Zonai relics. That made some sense. What didn't make sense was--
"Alright, you've been making weird faces for long enough." A hand reached out from over your shoulder and snatched the cloth from your hand. "Did you maybe wanna talk about it- Whoa, hey!!-" You jolted away and nearly knocked over the shelf of gadgets had it not been for his hands grabbing you and the symbol of his magic stabilizing it before it fell onto the both of you.
"Hey! Hey!!!-- What was that about?! You could've been smushed!! Splat!!!" He spun you around and shook you frantically, but you looked up at his stupid-masked face without fully processing the situation. "I didn't bring you in here to knock over all my stuff!!!"
He then stopped his panicked assault, but not without gripping your shoulders tighter and leaning closer, putting his face right in yours. That eye symbol stared at you, and in your state of mind you weren't sure what expression dashed upon your face as you focused on it.
But he did catch whatever expression you held and fell silent, casting his head down as he gently pulled his grip away.
"Well, whatever." He muttered, sounding more bitter than anything. "That's enough for today. Go do something somewhere else."
Wordlessly he pointed to the door, and as you came to your senses you looked down at your hands and then back at him. You didn't catch it, but as you turned to leave his raised hand faltered a little, before falling to his side.
Left alone, he couldn't hear your footsteps as you continued down the hall, and suddenly the room was heavy with silence.
Then, he clutched his fist and turned back to the workbench he'd been sitting at before. He shouldn't have kicked you out like he did. He should have just sat you down and had you rest for a moment. And as he felt his hands, he held them out before flipping them over and staring at his open palms. "Haah." He sighed, ungracefully plopping back down.
"...." "....rrg!" Aaah!!" He stomped his feet and threw his fists up in the air. He then threw his head down and crossed his arms, groaning against his work desk.
He didn't even do anything, but when you looked at him like that...
"Rrrrrg!!! I didn't even do anything!!!" He continued to bang his fists and stomp his feet before slumping down flat against the blueprints he'd been working on. "...I didn't even do anything, so why..." Why do I feel so guilty when I look at you?
Good time to revive this blog huh? Have a read here about my zonai meeting the yiga clan chief
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Heyo how've you been it's been a while huh? Have some soft a sketch mwah
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
BOI NEW CHAPTER AFTER TWO YEARS HAH
Other social media sites?
Tbh I haven’t posted any NSFW on my other accounts, but since I’ll be opening nsfw commissions I’ll create one just for that, probs this or next month :3/
(and I’ll save what I can from this blog too)
My Fb page: https://www.facebook.com/drakenpaws
My FA: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/jessblue/ (planning on doing another acc for my new NSFW content/requests/commissions)
My DA: https://www.deviantart.com/drakenknight
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
ALRIGHT FELLAS GO READ THIS ONE SHOT AND TELL ME IF IT'S GOOD SHIT OK??
Hi! If you still accept requests, could I ask for two pokemon trainers that start a really cute friendship after a battle between their garchomp and lucario? Perhaps one ends injured and run to the poke center (I'm weak for angst tbh) :3c
*I’m not sure if I got this right! I’m writing one trainer as a reader, and the other as a character! I hope that’s okay!
You’d been exploring, searching for pokemon in tall grass around Route 11. You were having a boring day- all of your friends were busy and the wild pokemon were nowhere to be found. Not even a pidgey in the sky!
Beside you, your Lucario chirped, eager to battle. Their ears twitched rapidly, helping you search for any nearby wild pokemon. “I don’t know, pal. Looks like slim pickings today.”
Lucario trilled in disappointment, shoulders slumping.
“Hey, it’s alright. Maybe we’ll have more luck at the next town.” Lucario shrugged, following you out of the tall grass. Checking your pokedex for directions, you found the paved walking path of Route 11 and turned the correct way towards the newest town.
Halfway down the path, Lucario stopped. Their ears twitched, tail twitching behind them. Turning on heel, they spun around to bare their teeth and snarl.
“Luc, what’s up?” You turned, surprised to see another trainer behind you. They wore a red jacket and had a backpack slung over their shoulder. They looked about your age; wearing a belt that held four pokeballs. “Oh, hello!”
The other trainer seemed just as surprised to see you. “Hey! Sorry I scared your Lucario.”
Huffing, the blue furred pokemon turned their back on the new trainer. Your pokemon was a prideful little creature.
“Don’t worry about it! Are you headed to the next town?” You asked, nodding in the direction that you were heading to. The other trainer shook their head.
“I’m going the other way; I was just in the grass looking for more ‘Mon.” They smiled. “No such luck, though.”
You nodded. “Lucario and I were looking to train some before the next gym battle We haven’t found any pokemon out here either.”
“Do you want to have a quick battle?” The other trainer grabbed a hold of one of their pokeballs of their belt. “One on one?”
Humming, you looked down at your faithful companion. “What do you think, pal?”
“‘Cario!!” Lucario bounced around, feinting punches with their bulky paws.
“I guess that’s my answer.” Laughing at your partners enthusiasm, you nodded at the other trainer. Taking a few steps away from each other, Lucario stepped forward and puffed themselves up.
“Let’s go!” The trainer tossed their ball, and with a flash of light their pokemon appeared. A massive Garchomp, their tail swishing powerfully behind it. The other pokemon was majestic, with glimmering dark blue scales.
Alright, we’re at a type and size disadvantage, but that’s alright.
“Quick attack, Lucario! Let’s see how fast they are!” Maybe we could use speed against them.
Speeding towards the massive dragon, Lucario missed.
“Garchomp, crunch!” Your Lucario managed to dodge just in time to avoid the dragon’s massive fangs. They danced back to their place in front of you, paws held up like fists in front of their muzzle.
“Wow, your Lucario is fast!” The other trainer complimented, surprised.
“Your’s is pretty quick too.” It was nice to have a friendly battle for once. “Let’s go! Metal Claw!” Lucario powered up, charging at Garchomp as fast as they could. Striking a blow to the opponent’s shoulder, you were a little worried to see that the attack had little no no effect.
Garchomp roared, rearing back. “It’s alright, bud! Hit ‘em back- Dragon Claw!”
The battle went on like this for sometime. Neither pokemon were landing strong blows, both able to dodge or take the blow without taking serious damage. Both opponents were beginning to tire, and you hoped that Lucario would be able to outlast the massive dragon type.
“Sand Tomb!” With a flick of their massive tail, Garchomp stirred up a large cyclone of sand. Lucario covered their eyes, blinded by the oncoming attack.
Shit- we were weak against ground. If Lucario doesn’t move, they’re done for!
“Lucario, use Extreme Speed! Get outta there!” They couldn’t hear you over the sand swirling around them, and your poor pokemon took a direct hit. Lucario went flying, smashing into the ground with a terrifying smack.
“Stop!” The other trainer screamed, running across the battlefield. You dropped to your knees beside your pokemon, horrified to find them unconscious. They felt heavy and lank in your arms; almost as if they were dead.
You didn’t realize you were crying until the other trainer grabbed your shoulder. “I am so sorry!” They were close to tears as well. “Garchomp just evolved and she sometimes doesn’t realize her strength.”
“We have to get them to a pokemon center.” Sobbing, you shakily stood and got ready to make a mad dash to the closest town.
Grabbing another of their pokeballs, the other trainer summoned another pokemon: a massive mega Charizard, it’s blue tail blazing bright. “Get on! I know the way.”
Numbly following the other trainer, you saddled up on Charizard’s back. They let out a worried growl before pushing off into the sky. Soaring above the route, it seemed like hours before you caught sight of the town.
“Land as soon as you can.” The other trainer steered Charizard down beside the pokemon center, which thankfully wasn’t busy. Rushing into the center, you were met by a calm Nurse Joy, who whisked Lucario away.
“They’ll be okay.” You assured yourself, drying your tears with your jacket sleeve. Turning to your fellow trainer, you couldn’t help but smile through your tears. “Thank you so much for your help. I can’t e-even begin to thank y-you.”
Blushing, the trainer grabbed your hand. “It’s my fault Lucario’s hurt in the first place.”
“N-no!” Sniffling, you squeezed their hand back. “You said it yourself, Garchomp didn’t know their own strength. They didn’t mean to hurt Lucario so badly. I hope they’re not upset.”
Glancing down at their pokeball, the other trainer shrugged. “I’ll have a talk with her, but she needs to learn the consequences of her strength. This will be an important lesson for the two of us.”
“And Lucario and I need to learn not to bite off more than we can chew.” You tried to laugh, but the throbbing in your chest kept you from laughing fully. Glancing back at the door which led to the exam rooms, you bit your lip.
“Nurse Joy here is great.” The trainer smiled. “And Lucario is strong. Here, how about you sit with me and have some tea.”
“Oh, you don’t have to.” Shaking their head, the trainer gently led you over to an empty table. “I’m sure you had somewhere to go before all of this.”
“Well…would you mind if I sat with you while you wait?” The trainer blushed again, pulling out the chair for you.
Pursing your lips, you took a seat. “That…that would be nice.”
Do you do Superjail? If so, can you write something for Lord Stingray where he's just fucking the shit out of a human female? With a breeding kink also?
There is no existence more bereft of meaning than that of a henchman with no villain to hench for.
After the events that you have come to call The Superjail Shitshow, your entire way of living had been destroyed. In just the span of eleven minutes, your boss was captured, every other member of Lord Stingray’s High Command was brutally slaughtered in combat, and the majority of your fellow minions were cut down like they were made of tissue paper. All that remained of Lord Stingray’s vast empire were a handful of minions who had been left guarding the fortress.
Without a leader, there was no reason to stick around. Most of your fellow henchmen went back to their old lives, reintegrated back into society. Others went in search for other villains to work for. One or two even decided to branch out from henching to being their own full-fledged villains.
Some of your fellow henchmen had offered to let you come with them. You politely declined each one of them, wishing them the best of luck on their new ventures. You never considered following any of those paths; not even once. As far as you were concerned, there was only one option.
You were going to bust Lord Stingray out of Superjail.
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