Southern Supreme Nutty Fruitcake

ollie | 24 | ♒ | infp writer | student | cosplayer EruRi trashlord sidebar by Eli

[the-bookshop]

[petimetrek]

I hope you all are following the chattering nuns on Instagram because they are fucking amazing

[anachronic-cobra]

They’re also on twitter this is amazing

(This goes on for five more tweets)

[mjalti]

i have this unnerving fear that i’m gonna meet keanu reeves in some tight elevator and his eyes are going to burn into my soul as he tells me the secrets of this universe then bites me on the neck to give me immortality so he’s not alone anymore

[sovietshopaholic]

Keanu if you’re listening I’m not a little bitch like OP come get a taste

[littleskrib]

Because there is no such thing as smoking around a child Farlan |150519

[universal-equivalent-blog]

These rich white women who cut away at women’s rights are never, ever betraying themselves. They are not confused. They will always have access to abortion by virtue of money, which is what buys “a right to privacy” when the law does not enshrine it. They will always have recourse to police. They, by virtue of links with rich men– their fathers, their husbands–, will always have access to power. The fact that you think they are harming themselves when they make it harder for you, a poor woman, a working woman, to prosecute a rapist or get an abortion means they have succeeded in buying your allegiance. 

[c3po]

sandy cheeks would’ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch

[thecouchwitch]

Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this.

[varkarrus-deactivated20200511]

mr krabs would’ve voted trump

[kaiju-lightning]

Mr Krabs absolutely would’ve voted trump.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand.

[questions-within-questions]

Plankton would’ve voted Trump.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it.

[legarcon]

Bubble Bass

[zarekthelordofthefries]

Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God. Dammit. Fuck.

[the-collecting-turnip-deactivat]

Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump

[fgsshinyhoard]

okay im just gonna put down my things here

- Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him

- Krabs would never respect a guy who bankrupted himself four times, he would not vote for him

- Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist receiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him.  Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field.

- Patrick can’t spell so he couldn’t vote for anyone

- Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate “bad words” during their campaign.

- Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point.

- Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote

- Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services.

- Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person.

- Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he’s a wealthy narcissist.

- Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote.

[wizardposting666]

Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

[hupperts]

[bluebeetletedkord]

[lastnightspants]

[saint-batrick]

that photo is one of the sexiest things i have ever seen.

[deathstardroid]

Ghost quarter

[tredlocity]

[railroadsoftware]

friendly reminder that the age of technology is coming to an end and a new age of blood magic and dark rituals will take its place

[lordsnaccs-deactivated20181230]

Honestly? Its about time.

[quibbs]

I’ve been slipping pennies into my friends pockets every time I see him for 5 full months. i’ve been waiting for him to notice and he FINALLY caught me today and he said he said the words, I am not kidding, “haha you would be a bad pick pocket” and I looked him in the eyes and said “oh YEAH?” and told him to check for two pennies in his other pocket and he did and i watched his world crumble

[nitewrighter]

Varric is “gives you a sip of his beer when you’re 14, includes too many embarrassing anecdotes in the ‘Birds and the Bees’ talk, helps you get into R-Rated movies” Dad.

Solas is, “Unwanted impromptu hikes and camping trips, lets you paint your own room but won’t help paint over it when you decide you hate it two weeks later, ’Let’s talk this out in the yurt’” Dad.

Dorian is “up at 3 AM passive aggressively reading in the living room with a glass of wine when you arrive four hours past your curfew, watches cheesy terrible tv shows with you, gets WAY INTO your science fair project” Dad. 

Blackwall is “really bad at gift giving but you know he’s trying very hard, carved your baby cradle by hand himself, tried to teach you to fish but stopped when ‘cleaning’ the fish made you cry and throw up” Dad.

Iron Bull is “Yells REALLY LOUDLY at the TV during both football and cooking shows, scares the shit out of your date while being perfectly friendly, won’t let you out the door in the morning without breakfast ‘At least take this protein bar!’” Dad. 

[smuttine]

rebloging again!

[updatebug]

Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like: 

“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?” 

“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.” 

“…Noted.” 

“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.” 

“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”

“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”

“Yeah.”

“Does such a process not hurt?”

“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.” 

“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?” 

“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?” 

“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.” 

[batzendrick-deactivated20230703]

I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.

[tumblunni]

Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues

[heavyweightheart]

every mother who’s critiqued her daughter’s appearance based on ~what men do or do not like~ owes that child an apology

[rubyfemme]

[not-the-real-norbert-hofer]

me: *lying face down in mud in the middle of the scottish highlands*

friend: what are you doing?

me: *muffled because of the dirt* I’m having me time

[staticevent]

lavender

[stonecrop]

I’m both pro herbal medicine and pro vaccination because you can treat burns with aloe vera juice and sore throats with lavender infused honey but you can’t rid a country of polio with plants.