please please please remember that no matter what your manager says, it is never that serious. unless you are literally performing surgery or defusing a bomb, it simply is not that serious

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please please please remember that no matter what your manager says, it is never that serious. unless you are literally performing surgery or defusing a bomb, it simply is not that serious
my favorite love language is trying, actually
like when people try to learn your hobbies or try to play the same sports that you play in an effort to get closer to you, people who try to love you the way you love people, people who will go to places you want to visit just for your sake, people remembering, putting in an effort. just. trying
woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:
vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)
which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.
luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.
why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.
vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.
then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.
which then require months of further specialized treatment.
the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage
vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.
the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!
it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!
which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s
Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.
today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar
if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!
in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!
(src)
I find it extremely insulting to this bullshit orchid that "vanilla" is considered "boring" or a "non-flavor." RESPECT vanilla. Good vanilla is SO GOOD. It's pricy but SO. GOOD.
my blood looks more beautiful than yours it's a more luscious red
edward cullens not gon a fuck you babe
you've picked the right target you're just a decade late this would've ruined me at sixteen
top 5 god given gifts to mankind for us to cherish and rejoice in
1. bread
2. masturbation
3. drinking water when you are very thirsty
4. vegetable
5. sleep
people on this saying âall these except 4â in the tags. you are not being cute by saying so. I am fucking begging you to eat your veggies
please know that when i type a lone "?" i am tilting my head slightly to the right and am staring at you blankly in confusion and curiosity
stop calling this a castiel moment i'm a real human being with hopes and dreams
Also in related news I'm obsessed with those ancient aliens types who are like "there's no way this civilization could have known how to do this" and it's just math. Like
Or if you really want to put your tinfoil hat on there are people who are like "how did Aztecs and Egyptians BOTH build triangles if they weren't in contact with an Extraterrestrial Being telling them to, hmm?" because it's the most structurally stable shape. You can find this out by stacking rocks on top of each other
Whenever I take a long car ride I end up exhausted afterwards, and Iâm always like âwhy am I so tired? I was just sitting around doing nothing all day.â
But the answer, it turns out, is I was doing something. Riding in a car jars your body in many directions and requires constant microadjustments of your muscles just to stay in place and hold your normal posture. Because youâre inside the car, inside the situation, itâs easy not to notice all the extra work youâre doing just to maintain the status quo.
Thereâs all sorts of type of work that we think of as âfreeâ that require spending energy: concentrating, making decisions, managing anxiety, maintaining hypervigilance in an unfriendly environment, dealing with stereotype threat, processing a lot of sensory input, repairing skin cells damaged sun exposure, trying to stay warm in a cold room.
The next time you think youâre tired from ânothingâ, consider instead that youâre probably in situation where youâre doing a lot of unnoticed extra work just to stay in place.
opening my bodyâs task manager to see whatâs taking up all my cpu
Also, just to add: we should not lose sight of the fact that the mammalian brain is a ridiculously energy-hungry organ. A human brain makes up 2% of the bodyâs weight and volume and 20% of its caloric requirement. Thinking is physical work.
Competitive chess players carb-load before tournaments. And lose weight in the process.
It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that thinking physically takes up energy. I would be like âwhy donât i have energy Iâve been sitting inside studying all dayâ ma'am itâs because the phrasings, evidences and vocabularies in your brain are eating the energy
If Iâve been really focused on crafting or something, there will invariably come a point where my brain is just like âWarning! Warning! Out of Energy!â.
Getting a snack usually fixes it.
Hand mixers and Sewing Machines are Two different Types of horses
These are wild animals⊠Untamed StallionsâŠ
They respond well to a confident handler, but they can smell fear and will act up if they donât respect you. Other horses include printers and hot glue guns.
when your boy is reblogging foreskin memes but you know damn well he is a cut crusader and not a hooded heroÂ
Does anyone know what to do
floating down the river styx on an inflatable donut and high-fiving all the lost souls i pass. i'm on vacation
If i were in a high fantasy setting iâd be corrupted by the allure of ancient and forbidden magicks SO quickly you have no idea
I would immediately dedicate my life to becoming a threat to a party of around four level ten adventurers
absolute nightmare
I saw a post that said âI wasnât myself for months and nobody noticedâ I felt that.
I really thought if a child would not stop roaring at me I could simply roar louder to assert dominance, and while I was correct that I CAN roar louder than a child, I can NOT assert dominance because children LOVE to roar.
Exactly