Nothing to see here

[torchwood-official]

Hello and welcome

So a few weeks ago Gwen walked into my office and was all “it’s 2020 jack” and “it’s time to start communicating with the public Jack.” And then she went and got Ianto involved (which is dirty tactics Gwen >:( unfair.) and now we started a blog, so!

We’re torchwood, yes we’re those guys from cardiff, no we can’t confirm or deny the existence of aliens. So don’t ask.

(Ask us other stuff though.)

We’re all here, so make sure to say hi to everyone!

- CJH

[captain-cheesecake]

...but I still think this is gonna end in tears, @skybutler​.

[skybutler]

Jack, we’ve talked about this. Repeatedly.

Do I really need to bring up the SUV again?

[captain-cheesecake]

Suddenly there are a lot of porn blogs following me…

[skybutler]

Stop encouraging them, sir.

[did-you-know]

As an inside joke, the officers decided to have the cake decorated in police-blue ribbons and sugared bees (for a “sting”).

The band, led by a city police officer, announced themselves as a weed-loving group named S.P.O.C, which stood for ‘Somebody Protect Our Crops.’ In actuality, it was just COPS spelled backwards.

They played the song ‘I Fought The Law (and the Law Won)’ as a signal to begin the bust.

“Let’s have some fun,” an officer shouted. “Everybody here that’s a cop, stand up! Okay! All the rest of you motherfuckers put your hands on the table, because you’re under arrest! This is a bust!”

I found a video of The Wedding Sting, but there’s no audio :(

Source

[star-anise]

IMAGINE YOUR OTP

[rainbowbarnacle]

WOOOW

[notallbees]

Puts every single fake married AU to shame.

[alexkablob]

this is some red wedding shit right here

[krakenpocalypse]

All these clues and the drug dealers still couldn’t figure out it was a bust?

Wow.

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

what sort of brooklyn nine fuckin nine

[outcastcommander]

@norcumi … This has gotta be some sort of ObiRex AU yeah?

[norcumi]

HAH! That is a glorious notion! Not it! ::nudges in @dharmaavocado‘s direction::

[haruka89]

@captain-cheesecake This wasn’t your idea, was it?

[captain-cheesecake]

@haruka89 How did you know? ;-)

[skybutler]

SIR.

[lanattie]

😱👽😱

[captain-cheesecake]

@skybutler Let’s install one of these

[skybutler]

@captain-cheesecake Let's review the definition of SECRET organization, shall we?

Also, it doesn't apply to you. You've been here long enough to be considered a naturalized citizen.

[thefierybiscuit-deactivated2023]

Coed Lletywalter

[70sscifiart]

[avaantares]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Since everyone else is posting their Ianto Jones birthday fics, here’s a short one I wrote a couple years ago, from a prompt by @gmariam321. Enjoy!

[gmariam321]

Here’s another birthday fic to go and read - I loved this! We always need more humor in the fandom, and this one is such fun! :)

[skybutler]

Okay, this is getting WEIRD.

@captain-cheesecake please tell me this is not the surprise you had planned for tonight

[captain-cheesecake]

Ha ha! No, but the bit about unwrapping has given me an idea. Do we have any gift wrap?

[skybutler]

Maybe a remnant on a roll somewhere. Not enough to wrap yourself in, if that’s what you’re thinking.

[captain-cheesecake]

Oh, I don’t need that much. Not wrapping ALL of me. ;-)

[skybutler]

May I remind you that this blog is public and viewable to anyone?

Also, please see my previous reminder regarding the use of winky faces.

[avaantares]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Since everyone else is posting their Ianto Jones birthday fics, here’s a short one I wrote a couple years ago, from a prompt by @gmariam321. Enjoy!

[gmariam321]

Here’s another birthday fic to go and read - I loved this! We always need more humor in the fandom, and this one is such fun! :)

[skybutler]

Okay, this is getting WEIRD.

@captain-cheesecake please tell me this is not the surprise you had planned for tonight

[captain-cheesecake]

Ha ha! No, but the bit about unwrapping has given me an idea. Do we have any gift wrap?

[skybutler]

Maybe a remnant on a roll somewhere. Not enough to wrap yourself in, if that’s what you’re thinking.

[avaantares]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Since everyone else is posting their Ianto Jones birthday fics, here’s a short one I wrote a couple years ago, from a prompt by @gmariam321. Enjoy!

[gmariam321]

Here’s another birthday fic to go and read - I loved this! We always need more humor in the fandom, and this one is such fun! :)

[skybutler]

Okay, this is getting WEIRD.

@captain-cheesecake please tell me this is not the surprise you had planned for tonight

[jantohaven]

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy birthday our beautiful Welshman!!! You are probably on some other planet and can’t read this yet, but it’s ok! We wish you happy adventures in your long immortal life ;) And don’t forget to say hi to Jack!

[skybutler]

Thank you.

@captain-cheesecake Consider yourself hailed.

[captain-cheesecake]

Another planet? There’s an idea…

[skybutler]

Just as soon as you hire more staff to cover holidays.

[jantohaven]

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy birthday our beautiful Welshman!!! You are probably on some other planet and can’t read this yet, but it’s ok! We wish you happy adventures in your long immortal life ;) And don’t forget to say hi to Jack!

[skybutler]

Thank you.

@captain-cheesecake Consider yourself hailed.

[skybutler]

Thank you for all the birthday wishes, random internet strangers.

Even if I do think it’s weird and vaguely stalker-y that you know my birthday and are drawing pictures of me and my boss.

[somersbygirl-deactivated2021032]

Happy 35th Birthday, Jones Ianto Jones !!!!

[captain-cheesecake]

@skybutler Forget the security breach, look how cute this is! And we have a dog!! Can we get a dog?

[skybutler]

Where would we keep a dog? In the Hub? Myfanwy would eat it.

I’m really concerned about the number of people on the internet who seem to know who we are and what we do. And that it’s my birthday. I’ve checked into it, and a lot of the IPs are overseas. We can’t even... you know.

At this point I think it’s best if we just let this thing burn itself out. Most internet fads fade eventually. We can clean it up then, when it’s less noticeable.

[gmariam321]

Can I be one of the first to post this image this year?? Because it cracks me up every time I see it somewhere, it really does.

Pen-blwydd hapus, Ianto Jones! Happy 30th!

More LATER *winks at the first reblog*

[gmariam321]

Five years later and another reblog! Cheers to our favorite Welshman on his 35th! 

More posts to follow, and a fic for later! 

[skybutler]

@captain-cheesecake I found more (this one, and others). No idea where that photo came from, but we need to get on this before it spreads.

[ami-ven]

Happy 35th Birthday, Ianto Jones!

[skybutler]

@captain-cheesecake Are you responsible for this? Otherwise, it looks like we may have a security breach. And how does this person even know who I am?

[captain-cheesecake]

Wasn’t me. Probably someone from one of those alien-sighting chat boards. Check it out, see if we need to Retcon anybody.

[skybutler]

Or someone who saw your older posts before I deleted them.

Speaking of which, could we refrain from using the R-word on unsecured public websites?

[ami-ven]

Happy 35th Birthday, Ianto Jones!

[skybutler]

@captain-cheesecake Are you responsible for this? Otherwise, it looks like we may have a security breach. And how does this person even know who I am?

[skybutler]

Today is my birthday!

Happy birthday, me.