Derealisation is awaking from ones dreams but its reality continues.
Its watching your world, your surroundings through a screen in your head, a portal between Neverland and the ground you walk. As if sleeping with the ability to look through the wardrobe to a reality you’ll question.
I become so detached that my own home feels like new to me.
E v e r y t h i n g… s e e m e d….. s o…… f a r……. o f f.
Take a pair of binoculars in your hand and peer through their glass the wrong-way round and see the distance stretch away form you.
This room is too far away to touch, to grasp, to hold, to know if I am really living among its setting.
The water glass sits in another realm to the chair I cling to.
I reach out, and my hand touches the glass: there is no waging space between, It’s just there.
And i know this, but i can’t get pass the lost weight over my feet, these invisible threads attaching you to this earth, is lost in me.
I Bring the glass to my lips, and the distance between: my hand, the glass, my lips, is logically normal despite the illusion presented to me….and the distress kicks in, flooding panic!! “what is this, whats happening to me!!?”
Something rationalises within me, and it’s a phase i know will pass, maybe a few minutes, maybe hours, maybe a day or two, and all i can do is breath, and wait, and breath and wait.
I calm my panic, and listen to the distress, not acting on it, or heightening it, or adding its drive, just noticing and letting it pass.
I hear you, and its strange, confusing, unbalancing you but you are strong and we know the games our mind plays. This trickery won’t last on you or me, so breath and endure and watch yourself grow through this.
An hour will pass and I breath, and I feel weight. The morning leaves and I feel the distances closing in and i feel the threads beneath my feet, I breath into the evening and i feel reality.
Be patient, the moment will pass.
