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@sleepforsheep
Late Night Doodles, for when nothing is on.
#1 - Snake Lady (MS Paint - with mouse)
I hope jax will be okay. :(
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i dont know who needs to hear this, but 2mg is not enough. frankly 8mg is not enough. buy your estrogen elsewhere. take anywhere from 50-100% more than the WPATH recommended max dose. stop once your estrogen stays around 300-450 pp/mL. try not to exceed 700 pp/mL (excess estrogen causes the body to purge estrogen, often overreacting and putting your total effective estrogen lower than what is desirable for feminization and stability).
there is no conclusive evidence that the feminizing effects of injectable E are preferable to those of oral E, but injectable is safer long-term (years-long), so eventually switch to injectable. its cheaper also.
use a good anti-androgen. spiro will make you piss and pissed, because it sucks. take bica 50mg or cypro 12.5mg.
take your prog. take 200mg. if youre putting it in your mouth, take more until youre emotional but stable. if youre putting it in your butt - PUTT IT IN YOUR BUTT - take more, but less than you would if it were in your mouth.
work out. work your ass, your thighs, your abs. get sweaty. the more growth hormones you can get through your body, the more effectively your estrogen will feminize you (this includes your tits).
eat more. eat at least 25% more than your maintenance. eat lots of protein, but also lots of fat. your ass and tits will thank you very jiggly.
and most importantly; show me. im a pervert.
brainwashed/broken into marrying your rival bad end has been bouncing around in my head for a few days atp
empty eyed boyish housewife in a plain dress and an apron who doesn't seem like she's all there when she talks to you
she doesn't really speak much but when she does her voice is the softest thing you've ever heard. she's got a lot of scars covering her body but dresses to cover them and says she doesn't know how she got them. she can't remember much of anything anymore. she spends her days mostly wandering the house and doing chores but occasionally you'll see her walking to the market. one time you got a glimpse down her shirt and she was flat chested with no bra and her nipples were kind of puffy
she got harassed by a group of people on her walk today. they kept calling the name of an unfamiliar boy. one of them forced a sword into her hands and told her to try swinging it, that it might help her remember. it felt awkward and heavy in her hands, and when she tried swinging it it tipped out of her grasp and landed in the dirt. she was on the verge of tears and just kept telling them she just wanted to leave, but they continued trying to lead her away. she was lucky her wife had been close by and heard the commotion, rushing over and embracing her. the group seemed scared of her, for some reason. when they got home she was told she wouldn't be allowed to leave the house alone again for a while, in case they came back. she didn't argue it at all.
Apple in the Orchard - A Big Macintosh Comic đ âš
I hate to be all "cis good" on main, but if it weren't for the cis queer women that welcomed me into womanhood idk where I would be
Shout-out to cis queer women that welcome trans women because that was genuinely a foundational part of developing confidence in my femininity
There's this huge media storm that, even when it's supposed to be "trans positive" still paints this atmosphere of separation between trans and cis women. This has been the opposite of my experience. I'm grateful for the solidarity between all women <3
There are gonna be young cis women who are gonna delight in helping you find out what sort of clothes you wanna wear, how to look after your skin and hair, helping you on the path to learning the difference between like, what you feel you *should* present like vs what is actually comfortable and authentically you.
There are going to be menopausal cis mums who are on the same brand of estrogen patch as you who are gonna join you in griping about getting them to stick and swapping tips for when you get dispensed the big patches but your dose is half that.
There are going to be infertile cis women who share your pain and anger at the concept that 'able to bear children' is seen as the only 'real' way to be a woman.
There are gonna be intersex cis women who understand what it's like to have your body's default state not line up with societal expectations.
There are gonna be queer cis women who will stand with you at Pride, who will welcome you to our family, our community.
I want to reblog this a thousand times. I've seen all of this, and it is so beautiful and pure and we all need it for survival. I love women, I love the solidarity we all have, and I love what we can all do for each other <3
The notes on this post are a set of the most beautiful stories I've heard about welcoming and solidarity between all women, cis and trans.
Please keep sharing these. They truly are a joy, and are giving me a lot of hope <3
reblogged this earlier but actually have something to add. the barely 20 year old cis girl who came up to me in the train station to ask me if she could stand with me. who told me all her friends left and she felt nervous waiting alone. who waited with me and told me to get home safe as we got on the train together. the fact that you felt like I was a safe and kind woman you could lean on a little?
Probably the single most affirming social experience I've had with a stranger. The fact you chose me of everyone in the train station means you saw me in a crowd and picked me out and said "That's a girl's girl."
Shout out to the group of middle aged cis moms I met at the liquor store when I was looking for wine. The one that said "oh honey, you just wiped off your makeup." And gestured at her upper lip after I wiped the sweat off my face with a handkerchief from my purse.
I was having a lot of dysphoria about my upper lip hair suddenly having color to it (medicine side effect it seems). So I was internally wondering if they'd ostracize me since they'd clocked me.
One of the women goes "oh it's okay, I have PCOS too. Don't let it bother you." And suddenly I've got 3 women chatting with me and lamenting how they have to "shave almost every day at this point" and just cackling. The store worker joined in, saying she plucks constantly, and her "transgender friend has to shave 2 or more times a day!". They all had these genuine reactions and "oh no, poor girl" and other comments.
I felt included. I never mentioned that I was transgender.. I just carried on, they helped me pick out wines, gave me some tips on undertones for makeup to cover facial hair stubble, and I got the shop worker to pull out some elderflower liqueur to add to a small sample of a Pinot Grigio (and got more people to try it and add it to their rotation. Seriously, try it sometime. It's incredible).
The random solidarity and genuine reactions I've received from other women has been very validating and honestly so welcome.
I actually have one for this. I work in food service, and I was working in that industry for... Almost a decade before I came out. And I came out at age 27, didn't start HRT until I was 28. Despite the sheer size of the city I live in, a not insignificant portion of the industry knows who I am. And so when I get a new job, I usually have to come out a few times.
I had had this job for a couple of months, and while I was working I was told we had a stage coming in later to see how they fit in. I say great and go on my break. When I come back, the potential hire is there... And she's a coworker from a couple jobs ago (like two or three years previous). We both slowly point at each other and go "Aren't you... ?" Before laughing and reintroducing ourselves. I go "Sooo I'm a girl now," and she laughs and tells me "Yeah I can tell." We spend some time catching up, and we work great together, and she gets hired.
A few days later I tell her I'm jealous of her bandana â you need something to cover your hair at work, and I'd been using a baseball cap, but I felt it made me look really masculine, even after several years of HRT â and she immediately pulls out a spare and shows me how to wear it. I still love the selfie I took that day, I was beaming. And from there it was very clear she just... accepted me as one of the girls. She'd tell me about men being shitty to her, and about the consistent misogyny we face, and even helped me at a sapphic night at a bar. It was just... Instant solidarity. It was amazing. We're still friends today.
when my close friend came out, my mother (who had a hysterectomy years ago and had been in estrogen) gave her some general advice about it.
she also gave her a list of things that would help with the bodily transition while on estrogen, from good bras, general breast health tips (not even just lump checks - how to deal with friction or rashes underneath the breasts, how to get properly fitted for a bra, etc.) and just - general stuff a mother would do for a daughter going through puberty.
it is general human nature to help and take care of each other. cruelty isn't.
Reading all this after a weekend of shopping for girl clothes with a cis friend of mine who was so excited to help that i literally didnt have to leave the dressing room because she kept bringing me dresses and stuff that looked great on me. This shit is so true, let the people in your life help you, they want to so much.
When i was 17 and still in school, i came out some time at the start of my last year. I couldn't handle all the misgendering anymore, now that i knew who i was. I was very lucky in general with my realisation & transition, in this case especially so bc everyone in my year accepted me. Fast forward to sports classes, and i was still changing in the men's - even if it felt really awkward & wrong. Then, some of the cis girls in my sports class talked to me about it, and immediately told me to come change in the women's next time, like it was so obvious to them that's what it should be like. I was really really moved, because they were all so enthusiastic & nice about supporting me.
A few weeks after that, one of them gave me a coupon & a few tips about nail polish so i could get some more variety than the 2⏠black one i was using. I was so moved by that, we didn't even know each other that well.
part of what terfs are trying to do is to paint cis women as inherently threatened by and unwelcoming to trans women in an effort to get trans women to self-censor and self-seclude. but the truth is that most women (including most lesbians!) are welcoming and loving of trans women. most women are happy to help their new sisters find their way. I'm not going to preach the whole "all girls protect each other" thing (untrue), but I am going to say that by a pretty large majority, most women want trans women to feel welcomed, included, and safe. don't let terfs convince you that every cis woman will hate you or wants you dead. the same way rapists assume everyone else commits rape, terfs assume everyone else has the same fear and hatred in their hearts, and it's just not true. live authentically and most people will respect and love you for it. and fuck the people who try and throw a shitfit.
Happy Friday afternoon! đâșïž We've done it! đđ We've got to the end of the week âŒïžâ ïž We've locked đ up âŹïž our warehouse đ we've parked âČïžâżïž up our vans đ we have logged off âïž our computers đ» and I've quickly đââïž popped đ«§ into my local favorite pub đ»đŹđ§ for a cheeky pint of beer âșïžđș and look đłđ a little bit of đ€ early dinner đŽđ because the wife đ°ââ I love her dearly đ„°â€ïž but her cooking đłđ©âđł ain't that great đ ââïžđ€ą and we've got đź a stunning âšïž beef and ale pie đ„§đź a bitofmashedpotatoes đ„đ§ baked beans đ« in a pot đ« which I think đ is wrong đ€ but it's happeninganyway đ€·ââïž and of course a bit of gravy đ„ŁđČ and you know me đ I never look đ«đ when I pour đđ« because I am âïžâŒïž the absolute govnah đââïžđ§âđŒ And listen goiuys đ hope you had a great week đâïž keep on smashin' life đ„đź keep givin' it a hundred đŻ and ten đ per cent đŁ and don't go home đ until you're proud âïžđ And listen đ§đ cheers to you all đ đ You deserve it đ A'bosh! âïž
Just saying, if you want to do this idk if Boost is the way to go. 530 cals isnât reeeally that much when you think about it, and theyâre expensive and donât taste very good. You can make better gainer shakes yourself, or incorporate other stuff into your diet and get a better return than 530 cals, half that if you go by the guide. You can look into powders if you like (optimum nutrition and Naked Gainer or whatever itâs called seem to be the best), or you can go more natural and incorporate nut butters into your diet.
Hell, if you really want to go nuts, a pint of heavy cream has about 2000 calories and costs about $6 (or you can get a half gallon at Costco for about that much). It can be tough on the stomach, but even if you drink half, itâll still be 1000 calories. You could even just melt a pint of ice cream and drink it, and it would taste better and be more effective than buying a Boost.
My point here is that a thing that is expensive, tastes bad, upsets your stomach apparently, and isnât as calorically dense as other options doesnât strike me as a great option for gainers. You might as well get something that either tastes better or makes you fatter per dollar than a Boost.
Here's to the people who weren't abused by their parents, but whose parents sucked anyways. Here's to people whose parents fucked up raising you out of ignorance and not malice. Here's to the kids whose parents didn't know what to do with you so they did nothing at all. Here's to people whose parents are getting better and growing as people but still hurt you. Here's to every mean comment that wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't come from your mom; here's to awkward family dinners because you're all trying to forget;
here's to you, survivor of a thousand 'not as bad as it could have been' hurts. I see you. You aren't alone.
i had a a weird dream where horrible things kept happening to mustelid women and it inspired me to create a horribly anxious ferret woman
I hope you donât mind some fanart
OMG THIS IS SO GOOD
Diasyâs daily life đ„đ
i didnt know you were allowed to do things for the sake of wanting to do things. i thought you were just supposed to keep that locked inside your ribcage and let it rot you inside out until youre limping around as the desiccated corpse of who you could have been
this post is about TRANSITIONING and CHANGING YOUR MAJOR
Beware the pipeline!
cyberpunk doesnât have enough alterhumans in it in my experience. they gotta get on that. swap some brains around into other bodies or use a wireless connection to control another body like a puppet or something
you go to buy guns and the street rat arms dealer youâre meeting with is⊠a german shepherd. hmm. interesting. well, her brain is human, and her body is a synthetic lab-grown one she got put into, complete with titanium teeth. except for some minor computer interfacing electrodes, she looks just like the real thing. itâs freaky.
that rat perched on your contactâs shoulder is the real contact. she just hired someone to work as a decoy because sheâs in danger - and when the decoy gets sniped from a tower across the street, she scurries off into a sewer, completely unharmed.
birds arenât government drones. donât be ridiculous. birds are government spies.
your target for this hit isnât even an animal. she just got more arms for the fun of it. she wanted to look like this and this way she can use 6 knives at once
the underground fight club you go to ramps up the drama by putting fighters into weaponized biomechanical bodies grown in-house. youâre watching a grizzly bear with steel wool fur rip apart a massive bipedal bull with saws for horns. unregulated combat sports are fuckin wild in this district
Theyâll never do a Hitman level set in a Furry Convention because gamers would absolutely ruin it but imagine. like the target isnât a furry he just owns a hotel that happens to have one every year but you can disguise yourself in a fursuit and some guy will ask you âwhat species is your sonaâ and 47 would be like âa wolf. i always felt a connection withâŠhunters.â and then diana would be like âletâs see if you can sniff out some information, furrty-sevenâ and then he comes to my house and kills me for writing this
ok but imagine being the fursuit artist that he contracts to make his costume tho
He contacts you via an anonymous email and is very exacting and precise in his request. Money is no object, which isn't uncommon in your line of business, you're a professional and more than a few customers have been in the 1% range.
So you ask if he's local so you can meet and take measurements and he says no but he will meet you at (conveniently close local craft store) tomorrow after work (you did not mention where you live)
You're a little shaken but you meet him anyways because daddy needs to pay rent, and he's probably not a serial killer, right?
Right?
You had no idea what kind of person to expect, but a 6'2 bald white guy built like a fucken shit-brickhouse with a "FurCon2023" shirt wrapped around his brolic frame was rather on the shorter end of your list. His cargo shorts and pure white sneakers looked like they'd just been picked up off of the shelf and his glasses looked too small for his massive head.
You jump because you don't even notice him until he's tapping you on the shoulder and introducing himself. How did he know it was you?? Alarm bells are going off everywhere but there's cameras all over, he wouldn't try something in public right?? You take his measurements and look at fabrics together.
You ask about his fursona and he very seriously produces a laminated folder with several crudely drawn pictures of a polar bear suit. Well, you guess you shouldn't be mean, they were clearly drawn from references but you could tell this was someone who did not draw often. It didn't even have any accessories, it was just a normal polar bear... But the notes surrounding them were so neat they looked printed! And so in depth! There was one page solely dedicated to the visibility needs, with advanced notes on the camera and display system he wanted in the head. You'd only seen this sort of thing at the national cons, just who the hell was this guy??
You haltingly ask him if he was sure. You tell him this is really advanced stuff and he was looking at at LEAST 10k with all the specific modifications on it. When you first started making suits you would have never been this firm on pricing, lowballing and trying to make up the difference so as not to upset the customer with a hefty price, but you'd learned eventually that undervaluing your work was a waste of your time and effort so even though you couldn't gauge his reaction, you figured being upfront about the price would at least be a test to see how serious the guy was.
He nodded silently and reached into the fanny pack around his waist to produce the cleanest stack of hundreds you'd ever seen in your life, like straight printed from the treasury mint. He places it in your palm and you almost drop it out of shock.
"Will this be enough to get you started? I included some extra to compensate for lost wages as I do need this suit fairly quickly" he says, tone unreadable.
You stammer and try to look professional thumbing through the crisply banded notes and would you look at that, you think this will do just fine!
He nods again, shakes your hand and leaves without another word.
You exit the store, just trying to comprehend what in the hell you'd just gotten yourself into, zoning out so hard that you didn't even realize someone was yelling at you until the word "-fuckin furry faggot" pierced through your thoughts. You were looking at your phone so you didn't notice the band of truck bros creeping up behind you in their suped up pickup truck. There were three or four in the bed of the truck, dangling out over the side in between giant "TRUMP 2024" and "Lets Go Brandon" flags. They have their phones out, recording you and shouting slurs.
You raise double birds at them and turn to walk quickly in the opposite way, hoping you wouldn't see them as you walked home. You'd heard of a couple beatings happening locally and you didn't want to be around if that's what they had in mind.
So when you hear tires screeching and and engine roaring behind you, you break out into a run, hoping to make it to the bus terminal across the parking lot.
But they catch up to you before you'd made it halfway. They all get out and one grabs your phone that you held out to record with. He smashes it on the ground and shoves you into the pavement. Hard.
They all stand over you, jeering and laughing and you try to escape but your limbs won't listen to you. You always figured if something like this happened you'd stand your ground, maybe get in a couple of hits yourself, but in reality you could barely breathe and your chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself, so your attempts to scream for help end up coming out as breathy wheezes. One of them levels a crowbar at you and thats when the screaming starts.
You curl up into a ball to protect your face but the pain never comes. You hear screaming and sneakers skidding across asphalt and oh god, wet crunchy impacts followed by something warm and wet being splattered across your arms and legs.
Its suddenly silent except for the drone of the truck engine but eventually you crack open an eye to get a look around, and for the second time that day you almost lose your lunch.
Its straight up something out of a video game, just absolute carnage surrounds you. All of the tall frat bros are out cold in varying stages of fucked up. You do actually start to hurl a little when you see one with his nose completely sideways like a gory Picasso.
And in the center of the carnage is -no fucking way- your fucking fursuit client, calmly wiping his hands of the blood with some baby wipes from his fannypack.
He looks over at you when he sees you're up and for a second there you see something, a slip in the mask, something angry, something violent. You flinch as you realize it, but oh fuck, this guys like.. killed people before. like, for fucken sure.
He walks towards you and you suddenly feel like a very small animal being stalked by a tiger. You try to stumble away but the mask is back on and he just looks down at you and offers you a babywipe.
"You alright?" He asks plainly.
Turns out the guy is "ex-military" and he hurt himself so he's back in the states and bored out of his mind. His daughter is a furry and wanted him to go with her to FurCon and insisted he get a suit as well. You keep on glancing at all the deep scars running up and down his arms and wondering how the hell you didn't see it before.
He's saying something to you but you only snap out of it when a phone is being placed into your hands. You look up and suddenly you're standing outside your apartment building (did you tell him where you lived???)
"This is a secure line, if anything happens to you or you have questions, I'll answer immediately." He says, pale blue eyes drilling into your skull with their intensity.
The tears start bubbling up in your eyes before you can stop them and you just lean forward, bumping your head into his chest and choking out a thank you as you clutch the phone to your chest like an amulet.
As you figured, his body is make out of steel and he stiffens at the contact, unsure of what to do.
He just lets you cry it out for a bit before eventually placing a heavy hand on your shoulder, pulling you off but he keeps the hand gentle.
He's not looking at you this time but he clears his throat and murmurs a quick "Take care" before turning around and disappearing into the night. You unlock your door and collapse into bed.
"What the fuck" you murmur to yourself as you pull out your tablet, and you start to sketch...
I dunno what I expected to find when I logged into tumblr today. Certainly not Hitman furry con fanfic. But I did. And it was glorious.