rat nest

they/them Bi 🐸🐸

[k4rkl3s-blog]

blaze it, i whisper as i light my homework on fire

[thinking-clairely]

I’VE WAITED 2 FUCKING YEARS TO POST THIS BECAUSE I MISSED 420 2 FUCKING YEARS IN A ROW

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

FUCK

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

Y'all I-

[frownyalfred]

I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Batman’s Villains: The butler will be easy prey!

He’s just an old man…he doesn’t have any of the Batman’s gadgets or training or fighting skills!

Alfred: Oh my you’re right

There’s something else of Master Bruce’s I don’t have as well

(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING

[welshronin]

Batman’s Villains: Wayne isn’t here to save you old man!

Alfred:

[dragonpuppies]

Alfred is the original “Call an ambulance — but not for me”

[frownyalfred]

@dragonpuppies I spent way too long on this

[qwertyu858]

[trader-j0e]

[a-boy-too-weird]

Bruce: I have a code.

Alfred: And I have a gun.

[dajo42]

hm

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

Mood if iv ever seen it

[aplpaca]

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

Sheesh

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I have exactly 4 opinions on perfume, who wants to hear them

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

Go on clown (affectionate)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i’ve decided the new gender neutral form of Ms/Mr is just THE

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

“Good morning class! My name is Valerie Frizzle but you can call me The Frizz”

[tessasclockworkangel]

When I finally reach the “dagger under the chin” part of a book: This aura? Purifying. These vibes? Immaculate

[feraligatr]

why are they calling it that

[chilewithcarnage]

kirra how does it feel to be the funniest fcking person on this app

[guerrillatech]

The 'Kubrick Stare' is one of Stanley Kubrick's most recognizable directorial techniques, a method of shot composition where a character stares at the camera with a forward tilt, to convey to the audience that the character in question is at the peak of their derangement.

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

Ben??????

[ijaazat]

enough discourse. time for intercourse

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

What about outercoarse

[malewifegradyruewen]

writing is so fun

[malewifegradyruewen]

i hate writing so much

[malewifegradyruewen]

this is so frustrating

[malewifegradyruewen]

i’m a literal god at writing

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

Yea

[mazzystargirl]

so true bestie (homoerotic) 

[schrodingers-fyke]

A few very important needs

[schrodingers-fyke]

I am very concerned at how fast this is gaining notes are y'all okay-

[alienlamp]

no

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

Nope

[romcommunist]

no one talks about the ADHD symptom of being extremely kissable. it makes me sick

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

That's a symptom ?

[klanced]

(keith is fighting a galra general)

galra: you almost fight well… for a weakling. after i kill you, the entire universe will know my name!

keith: what the fuck ever, dude

galra: excuse me?

keith: blah blah “i’ll kill you dead” blah blah “you’re only alive because i want you to be” blah blah blah. like, is that supposed to impress me?

galra:

keith: ohhhhhh big guy over here wants to kill me. like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you aren’t special.

keith: a single glass of milk has done more to make me shit my pants than you ever will.

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[atlinmerrick]

And now with!

[slightly-beefy-lampshade]

LMAO found it