slime

he/him - a key luminary of our era - I am something I am not yet

[raptorials]

Went to take this picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign and only after opening my camera did i notice the entire flock of little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again

[candytreedepartment]

me looking at the sign then seeing the chickens

[were--ralph]

tumblr is the funniest social media site to go viral on

[were--ralph]

on tiktok people will quit their jobs after going viral once but on here not only can any post get 50k notes, but if it does theres nothing you can do with it. theres no monetization or any transferable skills at all. you just made a funny post and people liked it and thats the start and end of your career

[were--ralph]

you could say "i left the stove on" with no context and it might break containment on here and people start tagging it with ships and kins and theres no way to delete it forever unless staff gets involved. your mistake will never go away but your claim to fame will instantly

[were--ralph]

its like yes im the pineapple werewolf guy but no one outside of here and like 5 posts on reddit will ever know what that sentence means. i could jump on tiktok and no one would know me. no one on youtube or facebook. this is my little corner of the internet and i will die here before i give up that title and when i do know i lost nothing in the process

[were--ralph]

exactly

[sludgebitch]

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

[sludgebitch]

can you people stop reblogging this my notes look like lunchtime

[catsonsynthesizersinspace]

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[aurpiment]

“It’s easy to assume”: someone’s misconception is about to be amiably corrected

“It’s tempting to assume”: someone’s assumption is about to be criticized

“It’s comforting to assume”: someone’s assumption is going to be read for filth

[sloppystyle]

Happy Send Me On My Way Sunday

[thunderbottle]

he’s on his way

[meangirlnurse]

oh my god

[meangirlnurse]

[zachdefense]

[the-lumpfish-queen]

You only need +35% mining speed and a Light modifier to get these bad girls to hit the dig speed cap

[swagspren]

Americans, You know those bumper stickers that are like “proud my son is a marine 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸”. Well I think Lirin should get a bumper sticker that says “I can’t believe my idiot son is a fucking marine” with a picture of Kaladin on it

[knightsgaydiant]

"I can't believe my idiot son is a knight radiant"

[loveridden1999]

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

[featuringmarkhoppus]

[moviesludge]

I came into my room and there was a web directly across the inside of my doorway even though it had only been a couple of hours since I last walked in here. Of course I immediately thought of this old Far Side which is never too far from my mind

[freakoutgirl]

i like how the ^_^ emoticon doesn't even have an upturned mouth. goes to show a smile is all in the eyes

[penandinkprincess]

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

[penandinkprincess]

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

[penandinkprincess]

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

[justasmidgx]

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

[penandinkprincess]

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

[b0nkcreat]

eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

[important-animal-images]

[jareckiworld]

Julia Curyło — "Marzanna" The Goddess of Winter and Death (oil on canvas, 2025)