slime

he/him - a key luminary of our era - the boy who cried shitpost

[sygol]

[notbopper]

this is poetry to me

[thombalan]

[drops-of-universe]

*genuinely absorbed zero information* got it

[kazieka]

was outside earlier and a bird Came Up, squatted down, fluttered it’s wings at me and opened its mouth like a hatchling begging for food (it was a grown female) so I went and checked the seed cube in the feeder and the thing was completely covered in mold. this is one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me. how did she know im the one in charge of the birdseed. How Did She Know To Pantomime Hunger At Me. Hello.

[kazieka]

i have spent my afternoon confusedly getting dressed, driving to the store, purchasing a new seed block, driving home, washing the cage, and getting the feeder set back up. i don’t take this much care for my Own nutrition. ive been bullied into a grocery store run by a tufted titmouse. i feel so loved

[venerable-thief]

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

[quinnception]

[hypotheticalpeople]

guy who plays albums on mute, it was never really about sound for him as much as feeling a sense of progression through a series of named durations

[headspace-hotel]

[utopians]

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

[bluestockingbaby]

[edettethegreat]

the eye and the web: we don't know the future :( it's a mystery :((

the end: LMAOOO ANYWAY here's a detailed account of how you're gonna die. and all the events leading up to it.

[thelibrarybat]

[freezeframe]

You may be wondering how I got into this situation. That's good. Keep wondering. If you pay close attention to the rest of this movie and employ your critical thinking skills, you may find that the answer unfolds as it goes along. Sometimes it's good not to know yet, and to wonder. Sometimes that's the entire point.

[unfreezeframe]

[transfemininomenon]

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

[vulpes-aestatis]

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

[thecactifindahome]

[maluskrow]

[the-reynolds-pamphlet]

sorry i didn't text you back. it's just that my days are so busy it's making me dizzy there's so much i gotta do. there's lunches and meetings and poetry meetings and endless interviews

[diamantefangs]

[xeansicemane]

This is kinda ominous ngl

[vexwerewolf]

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[wherefore-whinnies]

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

[talos-stims]

trying to groom her brother | source

[sky665]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[stupidpetface]

[teashoesandhair]

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs