the Kat's out of the bag

The youth and cheerfulness of morning are in happy analogy, and of powerful operation; and if the distress be not poignant enough to keep the eyes unclosed, they will be sure to open to sensations of softened pain and brighter hope.

[sunhatred-deactivated20220531]

Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

[ardatli]

This is also the fantasy behind all those old bodice-ripper romances that people today like to mock or call problematic, by the way.

“Oh, my next forty years are going to consist of nothing but washing dishes and keeping house and bearing children for the disdainful man I married right out of high school because my parents said college was for men and I had no other obvious life path open to me? What if a pirate captain thought I was worth stealing away from it all? [what if I ran away but no-one could blame me for leaving]?”

[unclothed-i-shall-return]

#I read an article a long time ago about a woman who was raised in an incredibly repressive conservative christian community#where all that mattered was purity and virginity etc #She talked about how for a long time rape fantasies were the only way she could derive any pleasure from sex #because she couldn’t feel safe exploring the idea of wanting sex #it wasn’t really ABOUT rape or eroticizing assault or whatever #it was about creating a scenario where she was free from the shame associated with wanting #i think this is true of a lot of icky-seeming stuff in romance and erotica #it’s an imaginary scenario where nothing you don’t really want actually happens #but you can’t be blamed or feel guilty for it #you didn’t do anything wrong#anyway that article changed my perspective a lot #i think there’s also something to be said for people who have felt ugly and undesirable their whole lives #enjoying fictional scenarios where a hot alpha werewolf or whatever is so attracted to them he ‘cant help himself’ or whatever #because it can also be really shameful to want to be desired #when you feel like youre ugly and gross ( @headspace-hotel )

[shadowy-dumbo-octopus]

#i had recently similar realization when stumbling into pit of y/n x character stories about “your dad’s handsome best friend”#it immediately introduces age gap where the man (usually) is middle aged and generally experienced#and y/n is a young adult at best but always exploring their sexuality for the first time#of course part of why this trope is popular is that teens tend to have crushes on adults#but I kept wondering why it has to be dad’s best friend until it hit me: it’s about safety#person who is your parents friend is a person who isn’t scum bc otherwise your parents would be friends with them#they’re safe and not a predator preying on young and impressionable like a groomer might#they’re your parents friend so they care about you too#which makes the fantasy at the same time spicy (age difference) and safe (dad’s bestie can’t hurt you)#idk it’s just interested how sometimes our brains try to justify things to us

@thirstyforred i hope you don’t mind me pulling up your tags because you’ve made a GREAT point which I think is also echoed in the following tropes:

A teenage girl falls for her older brother’s cool skater friend who treats her like his princess (older cool guy who you know isn’t an asshole and won’t take advantage of you because your older brother wouldn’t be friends with him then.)

A lovely young maiden is totally nonconsensually kidnapped by a handsome alluring vampire who’s 150 years old but still looks 30 (again, hot older lad who’ll show you the ropes and treat you well and also touch on that “what if I’m worth stealing away” point from higher up in the post.)

Those romantic Hades/Persephone retellings where she goes willingly. The original myth is a story of a mother losing her daughter and shaking the skies and earth to get her back, but that doesn’t really resonate with teenagers who feel trapped with their parents and would LOVE it if a tall, dark and handsome stranger whisked them away from their house and to his spooky goth castle with a three headed dog to pet. The ideas that Demeter was a mean controlling helicopter mom and Perse a cool badass queen who hated going back topside have likely stemmed from this as well.

While irl age gap relationships very much have the potential to be predatory, it is worth recognising why some people consider them attractive in fiction and what these fantasies help them explore.

I’m sorry to bring up HP, but let’s take Snape, for example, since I remember him being a massive hot commodity back on 2012 Deviantart. I heavily doubt that most tweens girls who had a crush on Snape would actually want to get on with their teacher - it was just a fictional crush which allowed them to explore their likes and dislikes in a safe environment (and also let this man move on from his high school crush, which is also fair because let’s be honest he NEEDS to let go of it.)

So yeah, this post does put a lot of tropes and kinks into perspective, which I think is important because one’s squick is another’s fantasy, and neither of these people are inherently more/less virtuous/problematic for liking or disliking it. Fiction is fiction. Real life is real life. What is cool in a book isn’t necessarily what you’d like to experience irl and vice versa, and it’s good to bear in mind that people’s experiences are different than yours and their takeaway from a piece of media might be different from yours.

[dodobro]

This reminds me of that deep dive post about the Labyrinth and how it came out in a time when girls weren’t supposed to like anything to do with sex. Yet here is an attractive older gent offering to give you everything and be your slave if you say yes and run away from your crappy family

[sinnamonrolldice]

Lost Notes Dice Set

[summoningspark]

@re-dracula

[feefal]

Final girl - the horror movie heroine who remains alive against all odds🩸🔪

[feefal]

Baked with love, doomed for compost :’(

[feefal]

A tragic fate for the loaf, but the mold children are THRILLED

[prismatic-bell]

I forgot how much of an arm workout hamantaschen are.

And I’m doing three double batches. Ahahaha save me.

[prismatic-bell]

Me, having stirred fruitlessly for five minutes straight: I swear it wasn’t this hard last year, I HAVE to have messed up, this would almost be easier if I mixed it with—

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: —MY HANDS. I USED MY HANDS LAST YEAR.

Thirty seconds later with a perfect dough ball: I should probably add this to the recipe card.

[prismatic-bell]

By the way, if any newer Jews or Jews in process don’t have a hamantaschen recipe, I asked last year on Reddit and was gifted this recipe, which belongs to one of the ladies who runs a synagogue kitchen. I was told you can make up to 15 batches at once, but I strongly recommend doing no more than double batches—it’s a lot of dough to handle. Where I listed “misc fillings” you’ll want whatever you like: pie filling, poppy seeds, etc. If you, like me, want to use jam, I strongly suggest dicing apples, cooking the jam to reduce it by about half, and then mixing in the apples. It adds a more complex flavor profile and helps keep the jam from leaking.

Also baking tip for this and other recipes: if you need your phone during this process, wrap it in cling wrap before you start. You’ll still be able to use the touchscreen but your phone will stay clean and also the germs from your phone won’t get on your hands.

[caitmayart]

"You said that you felt alone. Never here. Not while I draw breath." Happy Valentine's Day ♥ 🌿🌸🪷🌺🌿

[quiddie]

Cait, you absolute LEGEND!

[homoquartz]

this post is not gonna be well put together but i am having feelings

mean girls is trending right now because the musical movie just came out and i feel insane. idk why i do, it was stupid of me to think that most people Got It, no one ever gets it, it was always about the memes and the aesthetic.

the first mean girls movie was based on a nonfiction book called queen bees and wannabes. it interviewed and discussed the social caste system in teen girl friendships. how they hold each other to these insane standards of heternormative femininity out of sheer terror that they won't meet those standards themselves. the way they leverage their relationships for some small degree of power in a world designed to strip them of it, even if it drags other girls down.

the "you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week and on wednesdays we wear pink" speech was not an original creation for the script. it's a QUOTE from a real teenage girl. those were REAL RULES.

then the musical came, and it was one step removed from the intended messaging of the film. OG mean girls was not perfect (and was extremely racist), but it said what needed said. the musical leaned on the comedy more, but still left a heartfelt undertone, and still critiqued the systems in place. of course no piece of media is going to be perfect, but it was about the conversation.

then this new movie comes out and it is washed over in the veneer of white hollywood feminism so thick you can't see anymore. the problematic aspects of the original movie are taken out to avoid "offending" when the offense was the point. it becomes toothless, it becomes some other thing entirely. they changed karen's line "i expect to run the world in shoes i cannot walk in" to "watch me as i run the world in shoes i cannot walk in." because choice feminism is in vogue, suddenly this character whose entire point is that she doesn't think deeply about WHY she does anything is suddenly hip to the fact that the world is against her.

i think of sokka losing his misogyny arc in the new atla. i think of the Heathers remake casting the bitchy, identical heathers as queer and hollywood-fat outcasts. as if the story, the meaning, the allegory is hidden in the sets and the jokes and the music. it's a whole new thing now, and it's a thing that means nothing in particular.

the plastics should not wear jeans. they should not have curves. their queerness should be suppressed, painful. their sexuality is not a slay, it's the only thing they think they have of value. the santa dance isn't sexy, it's shocking, it's mortifying - they are children.

they're not mean because "we are all mean." they are mean because they are girls in a world that brutalizes them and crushes them into a standardized shape. they are mean because the world is mean to them. they are mean because it gives them some power back. they are mean because it's the only weapon they have.

the landscape of femininity today has shifted to camera-ready makeup at the age of 10, stringent performative hygiene standards, and avoiding being caught on film while having a genuine emotion. the consumerism, the fatphobia, the racism, the classism, the homophobia remain. We could have had a conversation about that.

[animentality]

[leebrontide]

I just had to share this cursed object that the internet dared to market to me as a valentines day gift, anniversary present, or WEDDING BAND.

I mean there’s just no way this thing doesn’t steal souls, right?

[realmarysue]

Oh, damnit, I am going to need to dive into the Jewelry Box of Doom and find this ring, because I bought (a bad knockoff of) it on one of my late night WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!? jewelry binges.

[realmarysue]

OKAY. I FOUND IT.

First, the image of what I bought. Yes I paid under $5. That is important later.

Now, I did silversmithing for a while so I know that there are unscrupulous people who take images of very painstakingly detailed jewelry, and use those images to 3D print wax casts to make fakes.

The problem is the resolution on those aren’t great.

So.

You get.

Uh.

Cc: @leebrontide as I think you should see what fresh hell you dodged.

[leebrontide]

WOW YES THIS IS WORSE ACTUALLY

[gwydionmisha]

We should throw this into Mt. Doom just in case.

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

oh! I have to tell you guys a great story one of my professors told me. So he has a friend who is involved in these Shakespeare outreach programs where they try to bring Shakespeare and live theatre to poor and underprivileged groups and teach them about English literature and performing arts and such. On one of their tours they stopped at a young offenders institute for women and they put on a performance of Romeo and Juliet for a group of 16-17 year old girls. It was all going really well and the girls were enjoying and laughing through the first half - because really, the first half is pretty much a comedy - but as the play went on, things started to get quiet. Real quiet. Then it got up to the suicide scene and mutterings broke out and all the girls were nudging each other and looking distressed, and as this teacher observed them, he realised - they didn’t know how the play ended. These girls had never been exposed to the story of Romeo and Juliet before, something which he thought was impossible given how ubiquitous it is in our culture. I mean, the prologue even gives the ending away, but of course it doesn’t specify exactly how the whole “take their life” thing goes down, so these poor girls had no idea what to expect and were sitting there clinging to hope that Romeo would maybe sit down for a damn minute instead of murdering Paris and chugging poison - but BAM he died and they all cried out - and then Juliet WOKE UP and they SCREAMED and by the end of the play they were so upset that a brawl nearly broke out, and that’s the story of how Shakespeare nearly started a riot at a juvenile detention centre

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

Apparently something similar happened during a production of Much Ado at Rikers Island because a bunch of inmates wanted to beat the shit out of Claudio, which is more than fair tbh

[let-the-awful-song-be-heard]

honestly Shakespeare would be so pleased to know his plays were nearly starting brawls centuries into the future

[theabigailthorn]

I played Claudio once and I fully support this

[bemusedlybespectacled]

“When we took Shakespeare’s “Measure for Measure” into a maximum security woman’s prison on the West Side…there’s a scene there where a young woman is told by a very powerful official that “If you sleep with me, I will pardon your brother. And if you don’t sleep with me, I’ll execute him.” And he leaves the stage. And this character, Isabel, turned out to the audience and said: “To whom should I complain?” And a woman in the audience shouted: “The Police!” And then she looked right at that woman and said: “If I did relate this, who would believe me?” And the woman answered back, “No one, girl.” And it was astonishing because not only was it an amazing sense of connection between the audience and the actress, but you also realized that this was a kind of an historical lesson in theater reception. That’s what must have happened at The Globe. These soliloquies were not simply monologues that people spoke, they were call and response to the audience. And you realized that vibrancy, that that sense of connectedness is not only what makes theater great in prisons, it’s what makes theater great, period.”

Oskar Eustis

[hello-delicious-tea]

Love that “No one, girl,” is the same response over 400 years later 😑

[dduane]

This. Anybody who thinks Shakespeare was “really writing for elites” or is “only for rich posh people” needs their head felt.

[slipsofyew]

Oh so now the bots have porn names but no porn. That’s not what I expected from the next evolution of pornbot

[memeuplift]

[mysharona1987]

[quillquiver]

And the thing is! It’s not even about “being boring”! It is so not about that! With a humanities degree, the only thing you really learn is how to process information, and generally, these degrees are designed to give it to you via various different perspectives and frameworks: you receive it, contextualize it, and then you’re encouraged to make an argument about it. That’s literally it, for years. 

...And when people are no longer in uni (no matter their degree), a lot of them enter the work force and are too tired to do any outside learning--like, say, consuming nonfiction about politics, the environment, social sciences or racism, or fiction that heavily features those themes (or, featured enough that the person spends a not significant amount of time thinking/talking them through). This makes sense: we live in a late-capitalist hellscape and everyone is tired. Sitting down to read Audre Lord at the end of my workday is a tough call when Good Omens is literally right there. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, it’s that I have to force myself, because I spent the whole day not having fun, and I have 5 hours before I have to go to bed and not have fun again tomorrow. 

So most people don’t make this effort in their own time--which, again, fair. Ideally, then, you’d want to at least train yourself to think this way while in school, right? My ability to incorporate multiple perspectives into my critiques of even stupid shit, like reality TV, far outstrips my STEM, MBA and CompSci friends who don’t do a lot of self-directed learning--not because I’m smarter by any means, but because I was literally trained to question every piece of information I was given and then told to make an argument about it, and I was given a lot of texts with themes of facism, racism, classicism, sexism, religion, colonization, het- and amatonormativity, etc etc the list goes on. When you consume enough of this shit, it becomes easier to spot--and if you don’t practice, you get rusty as fuck. 

This whole “university is a business and teaches employable skills” thing is pretty recent; people used to go to trade schools for that. If you were at university, you were there to learn how to think. And theoretically, humanities degrees are poised to make humans who are much harder to fool with things like propaganda and mob mentality. Question anyone who is celebrating the decline of this kind of learning, degrading it, or making fun of it. Why? What are their motivations, and what do they gain from a generation of young people unprepared to do the kind of thinking a humanities degree offers? 

Pretty sure it’s nothing good. 

[slipsofyew]

“I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain."

[murielswedding]

clocked this entire website

[ladygwyndolin]

REDDIT DUDES ARE MAD ABOUT KARLACH TOPPING THEM

[pamrak]

[dilfosaur]

still fucking around still finding out

[ryebreadgf]

[meltingpotofinterests]