Established hero x villain please?🥺
"What are you..." The criminals all blanched in horror, terror, the usual things as the realisation struck them. "He's sick? You're covering?!"
"Yep," the villain said cheerfully. Their eyes were not cheerful. "Only way to get him to stay on the damn sofa with his chicken soup and tissues."
"We didn't know he was sick. Is it - will he be better soon? Back soon?" The criminals began to edge away, even as they asked. Their voices cracked around the edges. "You know, he wouldn't want you to kill us. It's not how he does things."
"Are you telling me how my husband does things?" The villain's voice, if anything, got ever more cheerful. Sweet.
One of the criminal's passed out where they stood. The others spared a glance for their fallen brethren, then hastily scrambled over the body, like maybe that would be enough of an offering.
The villain stalked after them.
"No?" came the squeaky reply. "No. Sorry. Uh."
"Because it sounded like you were. By all means, if you know him better than I do..."
The villain stopped, one foot propped lazily on the passed out form. Their head tilted to one side, oberving the trembling figures before them.
"Please. Sorry. We didn't know - we didn't - is there anything we can do to help? We can do a round up? Get some more tissues or-"
"Spread the word," the villain said. "Because so help your gods, if you make him feel like he can't take a sick day..."
"Nothing will happen! We'll tell everyone. We'll make sure of it. Chicken soup protocol!"
The villain raised an eyebrow.
"You're still standing there, my darlings," the villain said.
Back at their home, they found the hero sitting on the sofa where they'd left him. He glowered at the villain from behind a particularly unintimidating blanket.
"Oh, come on," the villain said. "It's good for my soul. It's enrichment. I didn't actually hurt anyone."
"Last time I had casserole coming out my ears for months," the hero said. "They left them at my door step like shrine offerings."
"So you actually ate properly for once then?"
"I'm not joking." The villain dropped on the sofa too, drawing the hero close. "You wouldn't keep getting sick if you didn't work so hard."
"You need to start taking better care of yourself."
"And deprive you of the chance to do it for me?"
The villain considered that, then pressed a kiss to the hero's head. Satisifed. "How are you feeling? You're less hot."
"Your fever's come down," the villain amended. "Gorgeous."
The hero grumbled, pressing his face into the villain's neck. The villain stroked through his hair.
"You didn't actually give anyone a heart attack, this time, did you?" the hero asked. "Because the last time with the old lady and the cat..."
"That wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything. She was fine."
"As good as you look in my clothes, it really gives people a shock..."
"Stop worrying. It's fine. It's all fine. Chicken soup protocol."
The hero's brow furrowed. He pulled back, to squint up at the villain. "...what?"
"Chicken soup protocol." The villain's grin was all teeth and delighted menace. "They have emergency plans for this. For us. It's adorable."
"That's weirdly touching. Very...community spirit."
"I thought you'd approve, casserole aside."
The hero snorted, then sneezed, then eventually cuddled back into the villain's side. And, if he mumbled a thank you, well.
The villain was a hero for the day. They were gracious enough to pretend they didn't hear it.