Call me Frosty
She/Her
Bisexual
The fact my username isn't capitalized BUGS ME
I write a lot, among other things.
I just made this for fun. This'll be full of random crap.
occasionally an old/minor interest of mine sneaks up on me and then devours me whole and i have to reblog 50 million things related to it and read 200 fics about it and consume every fanart ever and then im normal again
scarlet hollow is basically the trolley problem but more fucked up and every day is a different train, and you're the passenger, conductor, and stood outside prepared to flip a switch and you're also the person on the tracks-
CW: female whumpee/ whumper, blood, hand whump, restraints, religious whump (Christianity adjacent), manipulation, compliant/ defiant whumpee, begging
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Tentacled chains suspended the air, thin and winding silver around her dangling fingers, palms tied together in a bloody prayer her lips were too numb to cash.
Her skin broke under the pressure of sharp spikes and the tight rings that held them in place. The metal clinked softly every time she shiftedâthe only noise in the vast silence while her knees bruised against the floor. Porcelain spectators were her only company, sat in drones, miniature statues all displaying the same grand person or various guardians said to be watching over her from a blocked stand. Their gaze like an ever-present reminder of every wrongdoing she had ever committed.
She had lost their guidance. Strayed too far. And now she was as valuable as a weed.
Her breath hung with dried tears as the smell of iron clung to the delicate bonds around her hands, bitter and assaulting her nose, covering her hands in blood that spilled down her wrist and landed at the feet of the statue they were strung from.
The statueâs was bathed in yellow light cast from behindâthe only light in the room. It reflected off the smooth edges and hit the glossy marble walls encasing it, doubling the light impossibly. And if she squinted, they were one in the same. Blinding light keeping the figure flush against the pedestal while raining darkness expelled the other. The difference stark between the two. The suffering just as human.
But those were just echoed voices in her head. Clamoring one thing then that like a fog in the back of her mind, murky and thick but if you were to reach out your hands would come away empty. She could not trust those thoughts. She could not trust her own mind for fear of it's produce to be rotten.
Rusted hinges groaned open behind her. Soft steps inched towards her until a imposing figure came into view.
The woman was dressed in the same white lace she was, but they couldn't be more different from each other. Her garments where situated to sit delicately on her shoulders, clean and scrubbed of any impurity, obvious in her stone expression. Where the other was disheveled and stained with red weighing her clothes down, face wrinkled with sorrow on her lowly stand.
The woman's hands were composed behind her back as she looked over her and she wasn't sure if it was pity on her face or contempt. Both were one in the same, no?
âHave you repented?â she asked, voice cold and collected. As if asking a trivial question. One she had repeated forâŠ.how long has she been like this?
She nodded, body shaking and eyes feeling heavier than they should, threatening to close under the weight of the increasingly chilly room.
âThe righteous do not hide from confrontation.â
She licked her lips, dry throat scratching her words, âY-yes.â
A tilt of her head, âAnd do you think you have earned forgiveness.â
Her mouth opened just to snap shut. She wanted to be forgiven more than anything. She's learned her lesson, she won't make the same mistake again. But claiming so out of personal desire was prideful.
Truth be told she wasn't sure if she was forgiven. The only voice in her head had been her own for so long, her mind barren and filled with nothing but senseless repentance.
âI see,â the woman concluded. âThen I have no other choice,â and with that she released her hands from behind her back, revealing a sharpened axe, wooden handle chipped while the blade held a crisp lighter line on the edge.
Her eyes widened, heartbeat lodged in her ears. Every fiber of her body was zeroed in on the blade resting so casually in the womanâs hands. Her attention snapped up to the woman, who was as neutral as always, âWhat are you doing?â her voice hitched on the words.
She held no concern, no haste in her tone, âIf you cannot receive forgiveness then your sinful hands shall be cut off.â
The axe was aligned to her wrist. She yelped as the blade tickled her skin, dread pooling in her gut and turning the blood on her hands into ice, âStop! I have repented, I have sought forgiveness!â She tugged harshly at the restraints, wailing as the spikes drove into her hands and pooled more blood, chain snapping to attention as she yanked, nevertheless keeping her perfectly in place for the slaughter.
âAnd yet you have found none,â came the reply.
âBut I've tried!â
âAnd yet,â the womanâs jaw tightened, eyes narrowing with a color of frustration she had never seen before, âyou have found none. You have squandered the mercy given, and now you are left without those who have tried to help you, into the hands of the one we fight against. Your repentance is not enough, so greater measures need to be taken.â
Each breath punched the back of her dry throat. She had thought she was out of tears to cry. She thought that this couldn't get any worse. But she could never trust her thoughts.
Even as they screamed how prideful she was being by begging for an alternative, âPlease. Please give me another change. I'm so sorry, I promise to do better. Please, not this.â
The woman stilled, relaxed her arms just a fraction, small but there. Something else flashed over her features, not rage or hate, but not sadness either, âLook up,â she jutted her head to the side.
Her brows furrowed, mouth dipping into a frown. But her hesitation was rewarded with an angrier one and she quickly followed the woman's instruction.
âDo you see whose forgiveness you seek?â
She nodded, âYes.â
âThe path of the righteous is never easy. Towards the end he pleaded for an easier alternative as well. And he got no answer. But even still he accepted the conclusion and faced it with grace. You would do well to do the same.â
The blade was back to her wrist. She sobbed, a brief thought that they were loud enough to shake the porcelain statues crossed her mind, but the woman paid no mind to it, even as she begged multiple times over. Eventually her words garbled together and even she didn't know what she was saying.
Whatever it was detached from her body and she found her mind leaning on the pedestal before her. Trying to curl around her hands and disappear from reality.
âIt is better to rid yourself of the hand that caused you to sin that keep living with it.â
Than was the only warning she was given. The axe swung.
I LOVE THE IMAGERY SO MUCH! The scene was playing in my head, and I love the quiet lore details worked in so much!! This is so intriguing! Like, what did whumpee do?? Why is whumper like that? And you've implied an entire religion that seems fascinating! And the fact that there are multiple statues, why are there multiple statues, I LOVE THAT!
Someone ( @watsonbee ) Expressed interest in reading a whump snippet for another OC of mine, Mithra!
This one is also long, so it's under a cut too.
Basic context: Mithra (My baby) is the adopted daughter of the imperial family (No claim to the throne) and she is known as "The dog of the empire" to everyone outside. Relatively recently, there was an arranged marriage between her and the sole prince of the kingdom the empire was invading, Azrael (My friend's character, happens to be a knight [she isn't allowed to be]) and when on a small mission, she gets captured by the rebellion, who has a grudge.
7124 words, not super proofread, if you see brackets around something its because I was too lazy to name it probably.
Mithra rode at the front on Blade, her face carefully calm as she watched the quiet road they traveled on, her thoughts swirling. Hopefully, the disrest could be solved quickly and easily. It was only some protests, people unhappy with their governor and his actions, but violence had broken out a few days ago, leaving several injured and one dead, plus rumors of that rebellion had been swirling. That meant that she needed to make an appearance. Hopefully, the presence of her and her hand-picked troop would calm things down quickly. She would also check in on the governor and his actions, make sure he wasn't doing anything that reflected badly on the empire. She planned on staying there three days at most. Two days to get there- one had already passed- three days in town, and then two days back. She should be going back home soon enough. HomeâŠ
Azrael. She sighed at the thought of him. Things were so⊠rough. He hated her, and so did Monkia. It was reasonable, but⊠it bothered her. They had been fighting so much. They had started to get along, but then he got poisoned, and that ruined everything. She probably shouldnât have acted the way she did when they went on that ride, but she got scared, and she was right to be. If she hadnât gotten him back quickly enough, he could have died. Then there was the problem of the physician. An investigation would draw too much attention, and she knew that more people would support the physician than not. So she did what she could and brought in someone that hated her, but that she could trust with him. With herself? Sheâd stick to the castle physician, but Azrael should have his own physician. But he was still so angry. It was frustrating, but she was trying to deal with it. It was her duty. This whole marriage was. This was her duty to the empire. And honorable sacrifice. This is what she had to do for the empire that she owed everything to, no matter if it made her uncomfortable. And it did. . Five years with a man she didn't even know the name of until the wedding, and she was expected to have a child with him, and that was terrifying. She could never tell anyone how much relief she felt when she found out about his knightly vows. She hated the marriage, but it was her duty. And her orders. Her hands clenched on the reins as she thought about what His Majesty had told her when he learned of his vows.
âYou doing alright there general?â Mithra looked to her side as Dalton rode up beside her, looking at her the way he always did when he could tell something was wrong. Mithra sighed and said
âYeah, just thinking.â Mithra ran a hand over her face, over the tattoo that she matched with most of this troop.Â
âStop frowning so hard then, or youâll get frown lines like Lennon!â Rico called from behind her. Lennon promptly made an noise of annoyance, and a smile tugged at Mithraâs lips as she glanced back over her shoulder and said
âStop teasing him, Rico.â Rico put a hand on his half armored chest and said
âOh, but itâs so easy!âÂ
âListen to the generalâ Allen called from the back. Devon, as usual, chimed in with
âOr do, itâd be funny!â Followed by Carterâs
âDonât be dumbass.â Emilio called in their high voice
âBut heâs always a dumbass! Donât take away the only thing he has!âÂ
âI have more than dumbassery, I have my stunning looks! Donât I Mithra?â Mithra rolled her eyes with an amused smile and said with teasing skepticism,
âSureâ Laughter broke out and Mithra relaxed, Dalton falling back again as her soldiers, her friend's conversation continued.
Here. This, this was what was comfortable, this is where she belonged, with her troop, leading and being useful. And sometimes, she could pretend she was a knight, honorable and noble. She was going to help keep the peace, keep unnecessary revolution down, and maybe root corruption out of this empire she owed everything to, including the friends that surrounded her now. She knew what she was doing here. People also listened to her, which was a plus. She loved her family, and she was always happy to serve them, but they were a little dismissive sometimes. Not that she'd ever complain. She owed them everything. Without them, she'd probably have starved on the streets after a childhood of abuse in the orphanage. She owed her family, and the empire everything. She owed them her life, so they could use her as they chose. She was happy to help them, despite the fact that this marriage and the child plan felt underhanded. The child would likely be raised in the empire, a great place to be raised, but may feel a sort of separation to the kingdom they had a claim to. Although it hadn't been discussed with her, it was easy to figure out that they planned to set the child as the ruler of Azraelâs kingdom, then peacefully absorb the kingdom into the empire that way. It was better for all of them that way though. Being a part of the empire was good for all citizens. Mithra and the army could protect them from outside threats, and trade would sweep through the area, making life better for the citizens. Problems only arise when the citizens get greedy, unrealistically idealistic, or if one person becomes corrupt. It was simple. Easy. She was doing the right thing. This was a noble sacrifice, for the sake of the empire and the people. The kingdom also had [Special metal] in plenty, and having them as part of the empire would be valuable. Her own sword was rare in the empire because it was made of it. It was a fantastic material for weapons and machinery. The empire needed it. It was just easier if they owned the place it was. It was for the greater good.Â
Mithra sighed and turned her attention back to the road. They were taking a calmer shortcut through some forests, and the road was long, but it was better than going through so many towns and villages, and likely getting stopped in every one of them. She liked seeing the people, but it wasn't worth the extra time.Â
Although, something was making her uneasy. Something about the shadows under the trees. Her gut said something was wrong, but her other senses weren't giving her any clues. Until they did. Allenâs voice cut through the conversation of the troop
âAMBUSH! LEFT FLANK!â Mithra's sword was drawn and she was off Blade in a moment as she raced towards the back. Shit. Her soldiers were fighting people dressed in black, and those people were fighting well. They outnumbered the attackers easily, but that didn't mean she was going to let her soldiers fight alone, especially since she could take down these attackers with much more minor injuries, due to her full armor and better skill. She rushed into the battle, easily letting her body fall into the familiar movements, concentrating as the attackers seemed to surround her, separating her from her soldiers, who started fighting to get to her. Then pain flared in her side and she let out a gasp, partially in surprise. How the hell had they stabbed her?! She glanced down and saw a knife sticking out from between plates of armor, a precise and well placed stab. She growled and went to attack, but then dizziness began to overcome her and she faltered, hissing in pain as another knife slashed her face. Both injures burned like fire, and as she saw the blade that had just got her face and saw some kind of shining black substance covering it. Shit. It had some kind of poison. The knife in her side needed to get out, now. She reached to grab it, but an attacker slammed into her, and as her mind spun, she fell off balance, falling to her side on the ground and driving the knife further in as she let out a yelp, her vision blotting out, her sword scattering from her hand. She tried to get up, but her body failed her and she collapsed. She heard Oskar yell
âMITHRA!â The sound of his booming voice felt like it was underwater as black figures swirled around her. Then a hand wrapped around her arm and she looked up, hoping it was a friend, but she could not be so lucky. Rather than a friend, it was another attacker that started dragging her as she struggled to pull away with her fading strength. She heard her name yelled, but couldnât identify the voice as her head pounded. She glanced at the attackers again. They were⊠retreating. While bringing her with them.Â
Shit. These were no robbers, this was no normal attack. This was a mission. She tried to yank against the person dragging her and another attacker snapped
âDamn it, just stab her again!â Pain screamed through her leg, and finally, unconsciousness overtook her, the sound of her friends screaming her name echoing through her mind.
Mithra awoke slowly, but stayed still, keeping her body limp. She had been captured. Alright, she had trained for this alongside the troops.Â
Observe, figure out location, figure out captors, figure out what they want. Do not give them what they want, no matter what. Steel your mind, prepare for pain. Give them nothing. Find a way to contact your forces, if you can, wait for orders. If not, escape at the first possible opportunity, find the nearest civilization, make way to base or capital.Â
She could do this.Â
First, assess injuries and position. Her armor was gone, she was stripped to her base outfit, simple trousers and a tank top with her usual undergarments. No defense. The knives were gone, but the injuries weren't.Â
Open stab wound on her right side, between her ribs, but it wasn't fatal. Another open stab wound on her calf. Speaking of her legs, she was on her knees, kneeling, in a horribly uncomfortable position. Her hands were chained behind her, forcing her torso to sit straight up. There was a chain around her neck as well, forcing her head up for the most part. There was chains keeping her ankles down. Clearly, she was not supposed to move at all. She was a prisoner, and this was a stress position. She tried to shift her hands, and barely managed to move her fingers. Not enough to even attempt picking locks, and the restraints were tight, almost, but not quite enough to cut off circulation. The one around her neck hurt. She could feel that her hair was undone, hanging over her face, annoying, but manageable. She took a breath, then slowly opened her eyes to⊠darkness. She lifted her head, the chain like a collar around her neck. The room was empty and very, very dark, no sign of anyone else. But there. There was a sliver of light. A crack under a door. She shifted slightly and paused as her chains clanked, the metallic noise ringing through the small empty room. Then, the door opened and she had to blink several times in reaction to the sudden light. She narrowed her eyes at the three men that came in. One of them walked over and immediately smacked her in the face. She didn't even flinch, keeping her head still as she glared at him. Because of the light, his face was in shadow, but he also wore a mask over the lower half of his face. But she could hear the damned smirk in his voice as he said
âOh look, the bitch of the empire thinks she can show attitude!â She gave no reaction to the name she'd heard plenty of times before. Bitch, dog of the empire. That was commonly something people called her, due to how she followed orders so closely. It was especially present among those that were trying to form a rebellion. That was likely who she was dealing with now. The man grabbed her face and hissed
âWe'll beat that out of you.â She looked at him calmly, keeping her mouth shut. He threw her head to the side and she calmly turned her head to look back at him again, keeping her face calm and impassive, as she had trained. Worry and fear were to stay out of her mind. The man growled slightly and suddenly kneed her in the stomach. She flinched slightly out of pain, but did not react. He man huffed, then turned and snappedÂ
âLets get this fucking started.â Another of the men pulled out a knife and handed it to him. The leader of the men walked back to her and kneeled down, then stabbed her in the thigh, hissingÂ
âFor the fucking prince, for making him marry a monster like you.â That made her flinch. For the prince? For Azrael? The man ripped the knife out and slashed her arm, making her hiss. The man shoved her chest back, and she had to fight to stay upright. She took a breath and quietly tucked her mind away into the same corner she did when she was training. She let the pain wash over her without reaction as the man attacked her over and over and over. Then the man started to speak
âWow, they trained you well, didn't they? Of course they did. No reaction to pain, because you're nothing without their fucking orders. You're one of the worst things in this whole cursed empire. And now you've forced the prince to marry you. You forced an honorable man to marry you, a disgraceful excuse for a human being.â That hurt more than it should have. Azrael was honorable, he was a knight. And she was⊠whatever she was. Her face must've flinched because another of the men said
âThink you've hit a nerve, sir.â She settled her face again as the leader, Sir, looked at her, then laughed. He used the knife to lift her chin up and said
âHey, Bitch. Wanna know why we're doing this?â He paused, but she gave him no reaction as the metal pressed into her chin. He spat
âBecause of what you've done to the prince. This is because of him. You've been a menace on the lands for years. This is the last straw. Its time to humble the dog of the empire.â He lifted the knife sharply, cutting the underneath and a bit of the front of her chin, then he suddenly slammed his knee into her chest and she let out a yelp as she heard a sickening crack. The man only chuckled, then leaned in as she tried to get ahold of herself and asked
âWhere are you keeping the prince, bitch?â She clenched her jaw, meeting his eyes with defiance. Telling them anything would give her nothing, and would only make her a traitor to her empire and family. Anger flared and the man punched her in the face. She tried to slip away into her mind, but he spoke again
âAnwser me, bitch. This is all your fault, you know. You're just an honorless trained dog that the empire sics on whoever causes them trouble. I'm not gonna kill you though. I think the prince, the knight, should get the honor of slaying the monster.â She flinched and the man laughed as a thought passed through her mind.Â
Did, did Azrael call for this? Did she misplace the trust she had given him? Did he have an outside contact? Did it have to do with Monika? No, Monika definitely didn't have contact. Hardly anyone knew where she was going, and no one knew the path, wait, shit. She forgot to clean up the study, put the papers in the drawer. She had a map sitting out, her path drawn out on it, clear as day. Did, did Azrael look at that? Did he give the information to these people? Did he ask them to do this? To kidnap and torture her? They had been fighting, and she knew he hated her, but⊠did he hate her this much?
She was forced back into the present as the man looked up and said
âGet some guys in here, and we'll give her a beating for now.â She closed her eyes took a painful breath, trying to steel herself and place her mind into a quiet corner. Let the feelings, physical and emotional, fade away. She just needed to work through this. When she could be present, she had to watch for any escape. She-
The door opened and she opened her eyes. People in black masks, made into shadowy figures by the dark room, walked in. Shit. There were at least five new people, plus the three from before. Sir gestured at her and said
âHave at her. Keep her alive, don't unchain her. That's the only restriction. Oh, and don't debase yourselves.â Then he turned and left through the open door, leaving her looking up at the people that surrounded her.
Then it began. Pain shot through her over and over and over. Bones snapped. Skin bled. Eventually her will failed her and she started to yelp and scream, tears of pain began to stream down her face, mixing with blood. After what felt like eternity, her endurance gave out and everything went completely dark, her mind slipping.
She awoke to water being poured over her and she gasped, her eyes flashing open. Sir stood in front of her again and she glared as she looked up. He chuckled and said
âFinally.â He dropped the bucket and grabbed her face, saying
âWe're done for today, bitch, but we're far from completely done. You'll get food and water tomorrow, before your session. But for now, I want you to sit in your pain and misery, and remember why we're doing this. You have hurt the people, you are the attack dog of the empire. You serve only people that care for nothing but gaining riches and power for themselves. This was a long time coming, and now it's happening because you decided to go too far and force an honorable man to marry you, and no one will stand for it, least of all him. This is all because of your actions. This is all your fault.â He dropped her head and she simply stared at him with blank eyes, giving him nothing. He paused, then let out half a chuckle. He waved his hand and everyone left, closing the door and leaving her in darkness. She was quiet for a while, the pain rolling through her.Â
It built up slowly, pain in her chest, her throat tightening, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Then, she let out a sob that racked her whole body, then another, and another. The tears came fast and furious.Â
Shit, shit, shit. Everything hurt like hell, and her mind would just not shut up.
Were they right? Did Azrael call for this? She wasn't hurting the people, right? Did he hate her enough to call for this? Despite their fights, things werenât horrible. Or maybe they were, maybe their fights had pushed him over the edge and he called for this, called for people to capture and torture her like this for making him marry her and essentially keep him prisoner. Wait, no, no, he couldn't have. He was a knight. He wouldn't have done this, right? But what if he hated her that much? She tried to push those thoughts out of her mind, but they were only replaced with new ones.Â
When would this end? She was more than just a âdogâ of the imperial family, right? She was part of it, right? Right? She was serving the empire. Her family was good. Yeah, they took her in. She owed them everything. She was doing the right thing, right?Â
Fuck, everything hurt.Â
She tried to stop her sobs. She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself. Collect herself. Don't show weakness. This was pathetic.Â
But then another thought rushed through her.
Her troop. What had happened to them? Were they here too? What if they were hurt? What if they died? What if she failed them? No, no, donât think like that. These rebels were after her. Right? Yeah, yeah.Â
But what if she never saw them again? If they werenât dead, what if she never left this place? What if she died?
No. Do not think that way. Do not think that way. She couldnât think that way. She had to survive this. The rebels didnât plan on killing her anyway. As long as she stayed alive, she could fight. She could survive. Everything hurt, but she was alive. Everything hurt. Shit, donât think about that. Donât think about the blood that coated her skin, the constant dull pain, the sharp burning pain that flared every single name she shifted at all, at the strain on her muscles from holding this position, the way the chain around her neck, the collar, rubbed the skin raw, the way the chains were too tight. The way her broken ribs screamed with every breath. The blood trailing down her face, from her nose, her head pounding. Her eyelids felt heavy, despite her pain and discomfort, or maybe because of it. The adrenaline was wearing off, and she felt utterly exhausted and drained. Maybe remnants of the poison. She couldnât do anything for her injures right now, they could even get infected, but there was nothing she could do. She was alone. Completely alone. With that, her eyes flickered closed and she slumped, sleep overtaking her.
Her eyes flashed open as the door slammed open. Sir, she recognized the gait and eyes, walked in and she looked up at him with a glare. He dropped a try in front of her and said
âEat, bitch.â She glanced down. Some kind of mush and a small bowl of water. If she was willing to talk, she would have said âAre you fucking kidding me?â No utensils, and no move to undo the chains on her hands. They expected her to eat off it like this. She glared at Sir, and could see the smirk in his eyes as he said
âWell? Eat, like the dog you are.â Mithra glared at him. Sir lifted an eyebrow and asked
âOh, not hungry? How about thirsty? Drink your water.â He pointed at the bowl, and she just kept glaring at him. He held up three fingers and slowly said
âOne⊠twoâŠ.. three.â He snapped and yelled
âBring me a bucket of water.â He looked back at her and said
âYou listen when I give you an order. Otherwise, there are consequences.â Sir kicked the tray away from her, and another man brought in a bucket of water. Sir placed it in front of her and said
âOne last time, drink your water.â Mithra glared back, then gave a single shake of her head.
âOh, too bad,â Sir said, âBut more fun for me.â he suddenly grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head down, forcing her face into the ice cold water, and she barely had a chance to get a breath before she went under. She tried to lift her head, but the pain, exhaustion, and bad angle made it impossible as he held her head in the water. She tried to hold her breath as long as she could, but her lungs burned. Eventually, she slowly let out the breath through her nose. But she couldn't last much longer. Just has her body won against her mind and tried to take a breath, Sir yanked her head up and she gasped for air, letting out pained noises with every breath and thus stab in her chest. Then, just as she started to calm, Sir slammed her head down and under again.Â
This repeated three times until he finally let go of her head as she threw up the water she swallowed, coughing and sputtering as she fought for consciousness. She felt like she couldnât get enough air as she gasped for it, hanging her head as she tried to recover
âWhatâs wrong, bitch, had a little too much water?â She glared at Sir furiously and started to snap
âMy name is-â He punched her, hard, hard enough to make her ears ring. She blinked as he retracted his hand and said
âI didnât say you could talk, bitch.â She glared at him and opened her mouth to speak again, but he slammed his foot into her gut and she let out a yelp as pain exploded. He grabbed her face and said
âDogs donât speak, so neither do you. Donât make me cut out your tongue.â Shit. She ripped her head away, but stayed silent. She needed to escape this place eventually, and getting her tongue cut out would be bad. Sir chuckled and said
âThatâs more like it. Well, since you decided you werenât hungry, we might as well get started quickly. Letâs rinse you off first.â He picked up the bucket and threw the freezing water onto her, leaving her sopping wet. She glared at him and he said
âDonât give me that look, I was cleaning you off before we get started. Speaking ofâŠâ He snapped and more people came in, the same as yesterday, was it yesterday? How long had she been here? How long had she been out when she woke up? How long had she just slept? Wait, he had said sheâd get food and water âtomorrowâ so sheâd been here at least overnight. Would-
Pain exploded and she gave a little yelp as it started all over again, the people attacking again and again.Â
The pain seeped through her entire being until it became too much and she passed out. She was awoken with a splash of water that only served to remind her of her near drowning earlier. She flinched awake and away from the water, blinking awake. A hand reached towards her, and before she thought, a growl escaped her throat. Sirâs hand stopped, and she flinched as his laughter filled the room. He grabbed her face and she glared at him as he laughed and looked down at her, saying
âWow, youâre not even trying to act like youâre human. A growl, really?â She tried to rip her face away, but she was too weak, and he held her too tightly. He chuckled darkly and said
âYouâre just the dog of the empire, bitch. And you deserve all of this.â Did she? No, donât think that way. She glared at him, in too much pain to even try to speak. It was all she should do to keep from screaming or crying. He leaned in and said
âAw, look. Sheâs crying.â Shit. She didnât realize. She just glared back at him. It was all she could do. He threw her head aside and stepped away, saying
âCry all you want bitch. It stops nothing. This won't end until youâre slain. Till we get the prince out of captivity and to us, where he can get his revenge against you.â She tensed. The more Sir talked about Azrael, the more it felt like Azrael might have been in on this. That he might have called for this to happen. Sir looked down at her and said
âThis is merely punishment for a monster. You've been the empire's loyal attack dog for too long. I can't wait to see you put down, bitch.â Anger flared and Mithra started to snap again
âMy name is-â she was cut off by her own shriek as Sir took out and stabbed a knife into her shoulder. He ripped it out and held the point to her neck, just under the metal of the collar, sayingÂ
âName? You don't get a name, bitch.â She hissed as the knife dug into her skin, a pinprick of blood forming as he said
âYou are nothing but a dog trained to attack whoever you're told and rip them apart without mercy or remorse. Youâre responsible for so much tragedy, and I wish you knew exactly-â He paused, then drew the knife away and said
âI have an idea, but Iâll wait till next time. Weâre done here.â Sir turned on his heel and left suddenly and quickly with the rest of the people, leaving her alone in the darkness again, nothing to focus on but her pain. Her pain, and her emotions, namely anger. Mithra tried to pull against the chains, but that only served to make them bite into her skin, causing more pain that caused a whimper to emanate from her throat. She moved back to where the chains were keeping her too, and tried to look around the room, but she couldnât see anything but the faint crack of light under the door. She had to do something.
But what? Could she even escape this place? What if she was trapped here until they got Azrael to kill her? That thought made her flinch. Would Azrael do that?Â
He hated her.
But he was a good person. A knight. Everything she wished she was. He wouldnât do this, right? He wouldnât do this to another person. Sirâs words echoed in her head,
âYou are nothing but a dogâ âdisgraceful excuse for a human beingâ ânot even trying to act like youâre humanâ âYou're just an honorless trained dogâ âLike the dog you areâ âThis is merely punishment for a monsterâ
Sir did not see her as a person⊠what if Azrael didnât either? No, no, of course he did. He had been kind to her. He didnât see her the way Sir and these rebels did, right? Mithra shook her head, a mistake as pain flared on the scratch on her neck. Dammit, Sir had said he had had an idea, what could that be? Nothing good, that was for sure. But what could she do? She could barely move at all, and he wouldnât even let her speak. He wouldnât let her speak. Wouldnât say her name.Â
Why did that hurt so much? The dehumanization⊠it hurt more than the pain sometimes. Sheâd heard herself be called a dog, a monster, a bitch, a million times before by people who didnât like her, from prisoners of war, from a rioting crowd.Â
People who hated her found it easy to see her as inhuman, didnât they? She hated that. She hated it when people would do that, but she was above paying attention to it. Right? Then why did it hurt so much? Why did tears fall from her eyes? She needed to be stronger than this if she was going to survive this place. Mithra took a breath and forced herself to speak
âMy name is Mithra Reichel, formerly Mithra Lucier. I am the general of the empireâs entire military. I have worked to earn that position. I fight for the empire because it is my duty to do so and I owe them everything I have. I have achieved all the requirements to become a knight, but have chosen not to become one. I like training, and reading. I love my family. I love my friends, the troop I have spent years with, we got matching tattoos after-â She froze. Her troop, her friends. Were they ok? What if the rebels, no. The rebels were obviously there for her and her alone, and they retreated all together. She hadnât noticed any serious injuries during the fight. Her friends were likely alright, and looking for her now. She took as deep of a breath that she could with her broken ribs. Her troop would be alright. They were almost certainly searching for her.
How long had it been since she left the castle? Theyâd traveled for a day and a half before the fight, and it felt like she had been out long enough for it to have been the next day when she woke up for the⊠first session. Sir had implied it was now the day after that first session. That put her at somewhere around three days or so. That left four days until she told her family and Azrael sheâd be back. She was supposed to be at her destination right now, so her family was likely getting a little worried they hadnât heard a report from her, but it was in the reasonable time period where the letter might have just been delayed. Tomorrow or the day after would be when they would start getting worried that something happened to her if one of her troop didnât make it back to them. Alright, what could she do for now?
Not much. Nothing except sit here with her pain. Everything hurt. She sighed and hung her head, trying to shift into a more comfortable position. She might as well try to sleep.Â
After what she estimated to be a couple hours or so, unconsciousness finally took over.Â
Why did they have to wake her up with water every time? She jumped from the ice cold water that was splashed over her, her eyes flashing open to glare at the man who did it. Sir. She hated that she called him Sir in her head, but she had no other name to use. Sir chuckled and said
âRise and shine, bitch. Itâs time for something fun.â She narrowed her eyes as she lifted her head. He promptly punched her as he said
âDonât give me that look, itâs annoying.â She rolled her eyes and he hit her again. She didnât flinch. The hits did hurt, but not as much as her other injuries. Sir lifted an eyebrow and asked
âOh, are you pretending that doesnât phase you anymore? Well then, itâs good that i have something new today.â He reached forward and grabbed the metal collar, yanking her head forward as he pulled out a knife. He messed with something on the back of the collar and it loosened, not enough to let her go, but enough that he could slip his fingers between her neck and the collar. Good to note. She glared up at him, trying not to tense as he pulled out a knife. He chuckled darkly as he said
âYou forget things too easily. You forget what you are, and you forget what youâve done. I want to permanently remind you of both.â She tensed now. What was he planning? He hissed
âDonât move, or I might cut deeper than I mean to.â Then, his knife was against her neck, carving three lines into it as he said
âThis one is for the attack on [taken over kingdom]â Her first mission. There was nothing she could do as he finished the three small lines, crossing each other to create a simple star, then moved next to it and started again, saying
âThis is for [idk]â This process continued over and over and over, as Sir listed attacks and battles and missions, sometimes adding details of what sheâd done. But it was for the empire, for her family. It was her dutyâŠshe was doing what she had to. Then, as he neared the front, he hissedÂ
âTime for your recent offenses, bitch. For leading the invasion of [Azraelâs kingdom].â A star.
âFor killing the people without mercy.â A star.
âFor letting the idiot prince onto the battlefield, where he cut off the Princeâs arm.â A star, a twang of guilt. She shouldnât have let her brother onto the field, but she did.
âFor making that unbalanced treaty.â A star.
âFor forcing an honorable man to marry a monster like you.â A star. The tears sheâd barely been holding back fell. He was right⊠no, no, donât think that-
âFor keeping him prisoner without freedoms and away from his family and kingdom.â A star and a sob from her throat.
âFor trying to make him break his knightly vows.â A star.Â
âFor that cruel plan we can all see will happen if a child comes of that cursed marriage.â A star, and a flinch from her.Â
âFor trying to go to an innocent town to threaten them because they pointed out the flaws in this corrupt empire.â A star.Â
âFor talking back to meâ A star. He pulled away and said
âI will add another star for every offense you make from here on out.â She looked up at him through tear filled eyes. He pressed his knife to the blank center middle of her neck and she let out a whimper as he began to carve a large star into it, hissing
âThis one, on display for all to see, is for how you serve the empire without question. How you perform cruelty and call it duty. For how you are an evil monster that pretends to be a person.â She folded over as he pulled away, trying and failing to stop the sobs racking her body. There were a long few moments where only her sobs filled the room.Â
Shit. It hurt so much. All of it. Everything he had said. Everything she had done.
He grabbed her chin and lifted her face. His eyes were smug, triumphant at seeing her like this.
Anger flared as she looked back at him. How dare he? He called her cruel, yet he did this. She was going to escape this place, one way or another.Â
She couldnât let him break her.
She yelped as he tightened the collar again, the cold metal pressing against her bleeding neck. He stepped out, then came back with a bucket. He placed it in front of her and said
âDrink. Or else you may die of dehydration over the next couple of days. She glared up at him. But his threat could be true, he might very well not give her water for the next couple of days⊠she couldnât risk it.
Shame rushed through her as she lowered her head and tried to drink out of the bucket.
Like a dog.Â
Sir laughed and said
âGood! Youâre finally accepting what you really are. A dog.â She glared up at him, but she needed the water, so she drank as much as she could. Eventually, Sir grabbed the bucket away and said
âThatâs all for today.â He turned and left, leaving her in silent darkness again.Â
Hours passed. She fell asleep. She woke up. Time passed. She fell asleep. She woke up. Nothing happened. She was left in silence and darkness with nothing but her own mind and voice to keep her company. She talked to herself, repeating the stories of knights that she had read so many times that she memorized them. Things seemed to move in the darkness, but they were simply hallucinations her mind made up due to the isolation and lack of stimuli. But she used the pain that still throbbed through her entire body to keep her rooted in reality. She could not let herself slip into her mind. She may never come back.Â
It was a relief when freezing water splashed over her again. Her eyes flashed open, and despite her relief, she knew who to blame. She glared at Sir and his people. Sir looked at her smugly and asked
âHow was your alone time?â He didnât bother to wait for an answer before he laughed and stepped forward and dropped a bucket and a tray in front of her, saying
âEat and drink before you die of starvation.â She glared, but dipped her head. Shame be dammed, survival was more important. She ignored the laughter as best she could. She finished the food and drank the water till it was kicked away from her. She lifted her head and narrowed her eyes at the rebels. Sir looked back at her smugly, then reached towards her neck. Anger and fear exploded and she moved before she thought, attacking in the only way she could. She bit him. Sir let out a yelp as her teeth dug into his skin and blood hit her tongue. A kick landed in her stomach and she opened her mouth in surprise. Sir ripped his bleeding finger away as he snapped
âWhat the fuck!?!â The others looked to him with surprise on their faces, then they glared at her. She lifted her head as she glared back. She spit out the blood in her mouth onto Sirâs boot. Sir glared and hissed
âOh, you bitch.â He paused, then laughed and said
âYou know what? Iâve got the perfect plan to make you pay for that. Everyone out!â The others nodded and left. Sir followed, leaving her in darkness again. She sighed, her defiance and anger draining away. That had probably been a bad idea. Sheâd just made him angrier, and that would just make him more dangerous. Shit. She waited in silence for a while, not daring to fall back asleep. Just as her eyes started to seriously droop, the door opened and Sir came back in, holding something, his bitten finger bandaged. Sir lifted the thing and her eyes widened as he said
âThank you for reminding me what a dangerous attack dog needs.â
A muzzle. Sir held a muzzle. It was clearly made for a human face. How had they gotten that so quickly? She didnât have time to question before the other rebels rushed at her, grabbing her hair and lifting her head, keeping their hands away from her mouth. Someone tightened the collar until she found it choking her. She was gasping for air as Sir approached. When she opened her mouth, he shoved the muzzle at her, sticking a bar in her mouth as the metal bit into her chin, forcing her mouth to close around the bar as metal caged her in. Sir held it there as someone did the straps in the back, the rest keeping her immobilized. It was only after the muzzle was secure, the metal biting into the skin of her face, that someone loosened the collar and she sucked in as much air as she could, trying to breathe. Sir kneeled down to be face to face with her, saying
âI think this works great at keeping you silent and from biting anyone.â She tried to speak, but the position her face was held in made it impossible for the sound that left her throat to turn into any words. Sir laughed.Â
~
And that's where I left off for now! I am much more likely to pick this one back up compared to Vixen's, Thanks for reading!
AAAAAA WHERE DO I START??? THIS WAS SO WHUMPY FROM START TO FINISH IM GOING INSANE!!!!
The kidnapping!! NO MATTER HOW WELL TRAINED SHE IS SHE CANT FIGHT POSION WITH A SWORD!!! THEY FOUGHT DIRTY SHE NEVER HAD A CHANCE!!
Itâs not just a name anymore theyâre TAKING EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO TREAT HER LIKE A ACTUAL DOG YOU CRUEL CRUEL GENIUS!! Everything reflects that point of view too!! Sheâs forced to kneel the whole time!! She only knows him as âSirâ!! And a muzzle?? A MUZZLE!!! Heâs giving her no room to take back her personhood, SHE. CANT. EVEN. SAY. HER. OWN. NAME!!!!! AND NOW SHE CANT SPEAK AT ALL!!!!
The dehumanization is so top tier!! HE ETCHED A TALLY FOR EVERYTHING SHES DONE INTO HER NECK SO SHE CANT LIFT HER HEAD PROUDLY WITHOUT BEING CHOKED BY THE SINS OF THE PAST!!!! BEING FORCED TO EAT LIKE A DOG AND DROWNED WHEN SHE DOESNT!!! SHE GAVE UP AND DRUNK FROM THE BUCKET, SURVIVAL WINNING OVER SHAME, then BIT HIM!!!! THE GROWLING!!! I LOVED THAT!! They see her as nothing more than a dog anyway, right!!?
And the way he talks to her!! There were so many things he said that I want to quote but I especially lost it when he said:
âDogs don't speak, so neither do you. Don't make me cut out your tongue.â
SUSNSAIDGSJSXHSJSCJD he just grabs her face to get her attention the same way Damian snapped at Vixen AAAAAA!!
It also speaks to his personality in a way. It seems like both him and Mithra are driven by a strong sense of duty and whatâs âright.â All of his reasons for hating her trace back to things sheâs done to others, especially the prince; his chip is rooted in otherâs suffering, not just himself. But HES ALSO GOING ABOUT IT IN A COMPLETELY INEXCUSABLE WAY LIKE DUDE???
Mithra had it exactly right! Heâs exchanging cruelty for cruelty without even knowing the whole story. He calls her a dog, shames her for carrying out the empireâs actions, but heâs no different. Heâs acting on part of the information the way a dog would a command, just like she does for the empire. Heâs letting his fury and vengeance own him. So in a way, doesnât that make him a pet to his anger?
I need to see Azrael!! Did he set this up?? Does he see her like they do and was just hiding it?? Getting his arm chopped off is a good motivation for anger but this??? I donât want to believe it!And it gets me that thereâs no way to tell!! She calls her familyâs cruelty love so whoâs to say she isnât doing the same with him because heâs a knight!!!
And this also raises so many questions about her friends! Mithra is doing this because she feels that she owes the empire her life, so all of the bad things were swept under the rug and blinded by loyalty. But why are her friends doing this? Do they agree with the empireâs actions or are they in a similar place that she is? They seem nice, but thatâs when theyâre comfortable, not when faced with someone that combats their orders.
And the emotional aspect because what do you mean ââAnd she was⊠whatever she wasââ Iâm going to sob who let her think these things?? T~T
Seeing her change from start to end was fantastic! Calculated silence and blank looks, to tears openly streaming down her face, second guessing herself and her place in the family. But not once loosing that glare!!
She put so much worth in a title she hoped to achieve, and because she couldnât she held anyone that could on this pedestal built on what they should be. She still has this child like sense of honor and integrity grounded in her, so much faith in people without them having earned it. But the core of it all is her desire to help everyone, which makes it so much worse.
She put so much trust in Azrael because if she was a knight, she would be someone she could trust, someone that probably would have protected her when she was little. But she forgot that there are people that donât carry the same ideologies she does that get to wear the armor.
And because she had nothing she thought an ounce of anything was everything. She thought so much of the empire and never put any thought into herself, so the second sheâs apart from them itâs easy for her sense of self to slip.
Not once did she think she was undeserving of death. Just that Azrael was a good person and this isnât a good thing to do.
How could she possibly make the prince marry her?? She said it herself that the marriage was sprung on her, she didnât even know his name before, and yet the words still hit her to the point that she recited them.
Her desire to be seen and understood is so heartbreaking I just want to give her the entire world. I loved seeing her strength, aspirations, reasoning for her shortchanges, and her vulnerability all rolled up into a whumpy mess!!
It makes me so happy when you read my stuff because you get everything SPOT ON!!!!
To answer some questions, Azrael has nothing to do this this. He doesn't even know what's happened until she stumbles back way later than she said she'd be back, all he knows is that he's been kept up in their little sweet, with only visits from Monika (his physician) allowed.
And the first thing Mithra says to him when she stumbles in and collapses on the couch? "Do not lie to me, Prince Azrael [last name] of [kingdom]. Did you tell them to do this?" And he's like ????? And is trying to find out what happened, but she repeats the question, getting more and more freaked out until he finally says no, he didn't. When he finds out what happened, he is pissed. (And shortly before she left, the two of them had a sorta big fight. Also, in general, she is incredibly respectful towards him and they trade bed and couch each night)
As for her friends, something I would like to talk about is Mithra's position. She is the highest general of the entire military. Her family has put her in charge of all of that. With that said, Mithra is clearly close with her people. Every single military leader of the empire is there because she choose to put them there. Mithra is incredibly kind, and has made freinds with everyone in the military that she's met. They all respect her heavily.
And honestly? They are more loyal to her than to the empire. Sheâs earned their loyalty. The empire hasn't. They are loyal to the empire because she's loyal to them.
This whole event is the beginning of the opening of Mithra's eyes. Her family doesn't check on her when she gets back.
The imperial family is also... not great. There are 2 heirs, and neither are good people. The empire needs a different ruler, but Mithra does not have a legitimate claim because her family choose not to give her one.
But when Mithra's loyalties shift from her family to the actual people, the extremely powerful military still stands behind her. What Im getting at is that later in the story, Mithra is doing a military coup and becoming empress. Yay!
And I can't think of much else to say, you got it all spot on!!!
And thats real, my thoughts are also all over the place sometimes, but you are so good at giving feedback!! It makes me excited whenever I see you reblogged some of my writing with comments because I love hearing your thoughts! Thank you!
CW: female whumpee/ whumper, blood, hand whump, restraints, religious whump (Christianity adjacent), manipulation, compliant/ defiant whumpee, begging
â
Tentacled chains suspended the air, thin and winding silver around her dangling fingers, palms tied together in a bloody prayer her lips were too numb to cash.
Her skin broke under the pressure of sharp spikes and the tight rings that held them in place. The metal clinked softly every time she shiftedâthe only noise in the vast silence while her knees bruised against the floor. Porcelain spectators were her only company, sat in drones, miniature statues all displaying the same grand person or various guardians said to be watching over her from a blocked stand. Their gaze like an ever-present reminder of every wrongdoing she had ever committed.
She had lost their guidance. Strayed too far. And now she was as valuable as a weed.
Her breath hung with dried tears as the smell of iron clung to the delicate bonds around her hands, bitter and assaulting her nose, covering her hands in blood that spilled down her wrist and landed at the feet of the statue they were strung from.
The statueâs was bathed in yellow light cast from behindâthe only light in the room. It reflected off the smooth edges and hit the glossy marble walls encasing it, doubling the light impossibly. And if she squinted, they were one in the same. Blinding light keeping the figure flush against the pedestal while raining darkness expelled the other. The difference stark between the two. The suffering just as human.
But those were just echoed voices in her head. Clamoring one thing then that like a fog in the back of her mind, murky and thick but if you were to reach out your hands would come away empty. She could not trust those thoughts. She could not trust her own mind for fear of it's produce to be rotten.
Rusted hinges groaned open behind her. Soft steps inched towards her until a imposing figure came into view.
The woman was dressed in the same white lace she was, but they couldn't be more different from each other. Her garments where situated to sit delicately on her shoulders, clean and scrubbed of any impurity, obvious in her stone expression. Where the other was disheveled and stained with red weighing her clothes down, face wrinkled with sorrow on her lowly stand.
The woman's hands were composed behind her back as she looked over her and she wasn't sure if it was pity on her face or contempt. Both were one in the same, no?
âHave you repented?â she asked, voice cold and collected. As if asking a trivial question. One she had repeated forâŠ.how long has she been like this?
She nodded, body shaking and eyes feeling heavier than they should, threatening to close under the weight of the increasingly chilly room.
âThe righteous do not hide from confrontation.â
She licked her lips, dry throat scratching her words, âY-yes.â
A tilt of her head, âAnd do you think you have earned forgiveness.â
Her mouth opened just to snap shut. She wanted to be forgiven more than anything. She's learned her lesson, she won't make the same mistake again. But claiming so out of personal desire was prideful.
Truth be told she wasn't sure if she was forgiven. The only voice in her head had been her own for so long, her mind barren and filled with nothing but senseless repentance.
âI see,â the woman concluded. âThen I have no other choice,â and with that she released her hands from behind her back, revealing a sharpened axe, wooden handle chipped while the blade held a crisp lighter line on the edge.
Her eyes widened, heartbeat lodged in her ears. Every fiber of her body was zeroed in on the blade resting so casually in the womanâs hands. Her attention snapped up to the woman, who was as neutral as always, âWhat are you doing?â her voice hitched on the words.
She held no concern, no haste in her tone, âIf you cannot receive forgiveness then your sinful hands shall be cut off.â
The axe was aligned to her wrist. She yelped as the blade tickled her skin, dread pooling in her gut and turning the blood on her hands into ice, âStop! I have repented, I have sought forgiveness!â She tugged harshly at the restraints, wailing as the spikes drove into her hands and pooled more blood, chain snapping to attention as she yanked, nevertheless keeping her perfectly in place for the slaughter.
âAnd yet you have found none,â came the reply.
âBut I've tried!â
âAnd yet,â the womanâs jaw tightened, eyes narrowing with a color of frustration she had never seen before, âyou have found none. You have squandered the mercy given, and now you are left without those who have tried to help you, into the hands of the one we fight against. Your repentance is not enough, so greater measures need to be taken.â
Each breath punched the back of her dry throat. She had thought she was out of tears to cry. She thought that this couldn't get any worse. But she could never trust her thoughts.
Even as they screamed how prideful she was being by begging for an alternative, âPlease. Please give me another change. I'm so sorry, I promise to do better. Please, not this.â
The woman stilled, relaxed her arms just a fraction, small but there. Something else flashed over her features, not rage or hate, but not sadness either, âLook up,â she jutted her head to the side.
Her brows furrowed, mouth dipping into a frown. But her hesitation was rewarded with an angrier one and she quickly followed the woman's instruction.
âDo you see whose forgiveness you seek?â
She nodded, âYes.â
âThe path of the righteous is never easy. Towards the end he pleaded for an easier alternative as well. And he got no answer. But even still he accepted the conclusion and faced it with grace. You would do well to do the same.â
The blade was back to her wrist. She sobbed, a brief thought that they were loud enough to shake the porcelain statues crossed her mind, but the woman paid no mind to it, even as she begged multiple times over. Eventually her words garbled together and even she didn't know what she was saying.
Whatever it was detached from her body and she found her mind leaning on the pedestal before her. Trying to curl around her hands and disappear from reality.
âIt is better to rid yourself of the hand that caused you to sin that keep living with it.â
Than was the only warning she was given. The axe swung.
I LOVE THE IMAGERY SO MUCH! The scene was playing in my head, and I love the quiet lore details worked in so much!! This is so intriguing! Like, what did whumpee do?? Why is whumper like that? And you've implied an entire religion that seems fascinating! And the fact that there are multiple statues, why are there multiple statues, I LOVE THAT!
when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they werenât really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)
anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.
i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? whatâd you get? so i showed her, and i was like, âIâm not sure why itâs a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.â
and my mom, who was some form of ministerâs wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks iâm joking.
âWhat?â i say.
ââŠitâs a cock and a pussy, Jules,â she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.
Someone ( @watsonbee ) Expressed interest in reading a whump snippet for another OC of mine, Mithra!
This one is also long, so it's under a cut too.
Basic context: Mithra (My baby) is the adopted daughter of the imperial family (No claim to the throne) and she is known as "The dog of the empire" to everyone outside. Relatively recently, there was an arranged marriage between her and the sole prince of the kingdom the empire was invading, Azrael (My friend's character, happens to be a knight [she isn't allowed to be]) and when on a small mission, she gets captured by the rebellion, who has a grudge.
7124 words, not super proofread, if you see brackets around something its because I was too lazy to name it probably.
Mithra rode at the front on Blade, her face carefully calm as she watched the quiet road they traveled on, her thoughts swirling. Hopefully, the disrest could be solved quickly and easily. It was only some protests, people unhappy with their governor and his actions, but violence had broken out a few days ago, leaving several injured and one dead, plus rumors of that rebellion had been swirling. That meant that she needed to make an appearance. Hopefully, the presence of her and her hand-picked troop would calm things down quickly. She would also check in on the governor and his actions, make sure he wasn't doing anything that reflected badly on the empire. She planned on staying there three days at most. Two days to get there- one had already passed- three days in town, and then two days back. She should be going back home soon enough. HomeâŠ
Azrael. She sighed at the thought of him. Things were so⊠rough. He hated her, and so did Monkia. It was reasonable, but⊠it bothered her. They had been fighting so much. They had started to get along, but then he got poisoned, and that ruined everything. She probably shouldnât have acted the way she did when they went on that ride, but she got scared, and she was right to be. If she hadnât gotten him back quickly enough, he could have died. Then there was the problem of the physician. An investigation would draw too much attention, and she knew that more people would support the physician than not. So she did what she could and brought in someone that hated her, but that she could trust with him. With herself? Sheâd stick to the castle physician, but Azrael should have his own physician. But he was still so angry. It was frustrating, but she was trying to deal with it. It was her duty. This whole marriage was. This was her duty to the empire. And honorable sacrifice. This is what she had to do for the empire that she owed everything to, no matter if it made her uncomfortable. And it did. . Five years with a man she didn't even know the name of until the wedding, and she was expected to have a child with him, and that was terrifying. She could never tell anyone how much relief she felt when she found out about his knightly vows. She hated the marriage, but it was her duty. And her orders. Her hands clenched on the reins as she thought about what His Majesty had told her when he learned of his vows.
âYou doing alright there general?â Mithra looked to her side as Dalton rode up beside her, looking at her the way he always did when he could tell something was wrong. Mithra sighed and said
âYeah, just thinking.â Mithra ran a hand over her face, over the tattoo that she matched with most of this troop.Â
âStop frowning so hard then, or youâll get frown lines like Lennon!â Rico called from behind her. Lennon promptly made an noise of annoyance, and a smile tugged at Mithraâs lips as she glanced back over her shoulder and said
âStop teasing him, Rico.â Rico put a hand on his half armored chest and said
âOh, but itâs so easy!âÂ
âListen to the generalâ Allen called from the back. Devon, as usual, chimed in with
âOr do, itâd be funny!â Followed by Carterâs
âDonât be dumbass.â Emilio called in their high voice
âBut heâs always a dumbass! Donât take away the only thing he has!âÂ
âI have more than dumbassery, I have my stunning looks! Donât I Mithra?â Mithra rolled her eyes with an amused smile and said with teasing skepticism,
âSureâ Laughter broke out and Mithra relaxed, Dalton falling back again as her soldiers, her friend's conversation continued.
Here. This, this was what was comfortable, this is where she belonged, with her troop, leading and being useful. And sometimes, she could pretend she was a knight, honorable and noble. She was going to help keep the peace, keep unnecessary revolution down, and maybe root corruption out of this empire she owed everything to, including the friends that surrounded her now. She knew what she was doing here. People also listened to her, which was a plus. She loved her family, and she was always happy to serve them, but they were a little dismissive sometimes. Not that she'd ever complain. She owed them everything. Without them, she'd probably have starved on the streets after a childhood of abuse in the orphanage. She owed her family, and the empire everything. She owed them her life, so they could use her as they chose. She was happy to help them, despite the fact that this marriage and the child plan felt underhanded. The child would likely be raised in the empire, a great place to be raised, but may feel a sort of separation to the kingdom they had a claim to. Although it hadn't been discussed with her, it was easy to figure out that they planned to set the child as the ruler of Azraelâs kingdom, then peacefully absorb the kingdom into the empire that way. It was better for all of them that way though. Being a part of the empire was good for all citizens. Mithra and the army could protect them from outside threats, and trade would sweep through the area, making life better for the citizens. Problems only arise when the citizens get greedy, unrealistically idealistic, or if one person becomes corrupt. It was simple. Easy. She was doing the right thing. This was a noble sacrifice, for the sake of the empire and the people. The kingdom also had [Special metal] in plenty, and having them as part of the empire would be valuable. Her own sword was rare in the empire because it was made of it. It was a fantastic material for weapons and machinery. The empire needed it. It was just easier if they owned the place it was. It was for the greater good.Â
Mithra sighed and turned her attention back to the road. They were taking a calmer shortcut through some forests, and the road was long, but it was better than going through so many towns and villages, and likely getting stopped in every one of them. She liked seeing the people, but it wasn't worth the extra time.Â
Although, something was making her uneasy. Something about the shadows under the trees. Her gut said something was wrong, but her other senses weren't giving her any clues. Until they did. Allenâs voice cut through the conversation of the troop
âAMBUSH! LEFT FLANK!â Mithra's sword was drawn and she was off Blade in a moment as she raced towards the back. Shit. Her soldiers were fighting people dressed in black, and those people were fighting well. They outnumbered the attackers easily, but that didn't mean she was going to let her soldiers fight alone, especially since she could take down these attackers with much more minor injuries, due to her full armor and better skill. She rushed into the battle, easily letting her body fall into the familiar movements, concentrating as the attackers seemed to surround her, separating her from her soldiers, who started fighting to get to her. Then pain flared in her side and she let out a gasp, partially in surprise. How the hell had they stabbed her?! She glanced down and saw a knife sticking out from between plates of armor, a precise and well placed stab. She growled and went to attack, but then dizziness began to overcome her and she faltered, hissing in pain as another knife slashed her face. Both injures burned like fire, and as she saw the blade that had just got her face and saw some kind of shining black substance covering it. Shit. It had some kind of poison. The knife in her side needed to get out, now. She reached to grab it, but an attacker slammed into her, and as her mind spun, she fell off balance, falling to her side on the ground and driving the knife further in as she let out a yelp, her vision blotting out, her sword scattering from her hand. She tried to get up, but her body failed her and she collapsed. She heard Oskar yell
âMITHRA!â The sound of his booming voice felt like it was underwater as black figures swirled around her. Then a hand wrapped around her arm and she looked up, hoping it was a friend, but she could not be so lucky. Rather than a friend, it was another attacker that started dragging her as she struggled to pull away with her fading strength. She heard her name yelled, but couldnât identify the voice as her head pounded. She glanced at the attackers again. They were⊠retreating. While bringing her with them.Â
Shit. These were no robbers, this was no normal attack. This was a mission. She tried to yank against the person dragging her and another attacker snapped
âDamn it, just stab her again!â Pain screamed through her leg, and finally, unconsciousness overtook her, the sound of her friends screaming her name echoing through her mind.
Mithra awoke slowly, but stayed still, keeping her body limp. She had been captured. Alright, she had trained for this alongside the troops.Â
Observe, figure out location, figure out captors, figure out what they want. Do not give them what they want, no matter what. Steel your mind, prepare for pain. Give them nothing. Find a way to contact your forces, if you can, wait for orders. If not, escape at the first possible opportunity, find the nearest civilization, make way to base or capital.Â
She could do this.Â
First, assess injuries and position. Her armor was gone, she was stripped to her base outfit, simple trousers and a tank top with her usual undergarments. No defense. The knives were gone, but the injuries weren't.Â
Open stab wound on her right side, between her ribs, but it wasn't fatal. Another open stab wound on her calf. Speaking of her legs, she was on her knees, kneeling, in a horribly uncomfortable position. Her hands were chained behind her, forcing her torso to sit straight up. There was a chain around her neck as well, forcing her head up for the most part. There was chains keeping her ankles down. Clearly, she was not supposed to move at all. She was a prisoner, and this was a stress position. She tried to shift her hands, and barely managed to move her fingers. Not enough to even attempt picking locks, and the restraints were tight, almost, but not quite enough to cut off circulation. The one around her neck hurt. She could feel that her hair was undone, hanging over her face, annoying, but manageable. She took a breath, then slowly opened her eyes to⊠darkness. She lifted her head, the chain like a collar around her neck. The room was empty and very, very dark, no sign of anyone else. But there. There was a sliver of light. A crack under a door. She shifted slightly and paused as her chains clanked, the metallic noise ringing through the small empty room. Then, the door opened and she had to blink several times in reaction to the sudden light. She narrowed her eyes at the three men that came in. One of them walked over and immediately smacked her in the face. She didn't even flinch, keeping her head still as she glared at him. Because of the light, his face was in shadow, but he also wore a mask over the lower half of his face. But she could hear the damned smirk in his voice as he said
âOh look, the bitch of the empire thinks she can show attitude!â She gave no reaction to the name she'd heard plenty of times before. Bitch, dog of the empire. That was commonly something people called her, due to how she followed orders so closely. It was especially present among those that were trying to form a rebellion. That was likely who she was dealing with now. The man grabbed her face and hissed
âWe'll beat that out of you.â She looked at him calmly, keeping her mouth shut. He threw her head to the side and she calmly turned her head to look back at him again, keeping her face calm and impassive, as she had trained. Worry and fear were to stay out of her mind. The man growled slightly and suddenly kneed her in the stomach. She flinched slightly out of pain, but did not react. He man huffed, then turned and snappedÂ
âLets get this fucking started.â Another of the men pulled out a knife and handed it to him. The leader of the men walked back to her and kneeled down, then stabbed her in the thigh, hissingÂ
âFor the fucking prince, for making him marry a monster like you.â That made her flinch. For the prince? For Azrael? The man ripped the knife out and slashed her arm, making her hiss. The man shoved her chest back, and she had to fight to stay upright. She took a breath and quietly tucked her mind away into the same corner she did when she was training. She let the pain wash over her without reaction as the man attacked her over and over and over. Then the man started to speak
âWow, they trained you well, didn't they? Of course they did. No reaction to pain, because you're nothing without their fucking orders. You're one of the worst things in this whole cursed empire. And now you've forced the prince to marry you. You forced an honorable man to marry you, a disgraceful excuse for a human being.â That hurt more than it should have. Azrael was honorable, he was a knight. And she was⊠whatever she was. Her face must've flinched because another of the men said
âThink you've hit a nerve, sir.â She settled her face again as the leader, Sir, looked at her, then laughed. He used the knife to lift her chin up and said
âHey, Bitch. Wanna know why we're doing this?â He paused, but she gave him no reaction as the metal pressed into her chin. He spat
âBecause of what you've done to the prince. This is because of him. You've been a menace on the lands for years. This is the last straw. Its time to humble the dog of the empire.â He lifted the knife sharply, cutting the underneath and a bit of the front of her chin, then he suddenly slammed his knee into her chest and she let out a yelp as she heard a sickening crack. The man only chuckled, then leaned in as she tried to get ahold of herself and asked
âWhere are you keeping the prince, bitch?â She clenched her jaw, meeting his eyes with defiance. Telling them anything would give her nothing, and would only make her a traitor to her empire and family. Anger flared and the man punched her in the face. She tried to slip away into her mind, but he spoke again
âAnwser me, bitch. This is all your fault, you know. You're just an honorless trained dog that the empire sics on whoever causes them trouble. I'm not gonna kill you though. I think the prince, the knight, should get the honor of slaying the monster.â She flinched and the man laughed as a thought passed through her mind.Â
Did, did Azrael call for this? Did she misplace the trust she had given him? Did he have an outside contact? Did it have to do with Monika? No, Monika definitely didn't have contact. Hardly anyone knew where she was going, and no one knew the path, wait, shit. She forgot to clean up the study, put the papers in the drawer. She had a map sitting out, her path drawn out on it, clear as day. Did, did Azrael look at that? Did he give the information to these people? Did he ask them to do this? To kidnap and torture her? They had been fighting, and she knew he hated her, but⊠did he hate her this much?
She was forced back into the present as the man looked up and said
âGet some guys in here, and we'll give her a beating for now.â She closed her eyes took a painful breath, trying to steel herself and place her mind into a quiet corner. Let the feelings, physical and emotional, fade away. She just needed to work through this. When she could be present, she had to watch for any escape. She-
The door opened and she opened her eyes. People in black masks, made into shadowy figures by the dark room, walked in. Shit. There were at least five new people, plus the three from before. Sir gestured at her and said
âHave at her. Keep her alive, don't unchain her. That's the only restriction. Oh, and don't debase yourselves.â Then he turned and left through the open door, leaving her looking up at the people that surrounded her.
Then it began. Pain shot through her over and over and over. Bones snapped. Skin bled. Eventually her will failed her and she started to yelp and scream, tears of pain began to stream down her face, mixing with blood. After what felt like eternity, her endurance gave out and everything went completely dark, her mind slipping.
She awoke to water being poured over her and she gasped, her eyes flashing open. Sir stood in front of her again and she glared as she looked up. He chuckled and said
âFinally.â He dropped the bucket and grabbed her face, saying
âWe're done for today, bitch, but we're far from completely done. You'll get food and water tomorrow, before your session. But for now, I want you to sit in your pain and misery, and remember why we're doing this. You have hurt the people, you are the attack dog of the empire. You serve only people that care for nothing but gaining riches and power for themselves. This was a long time coming, and now it's happening because you decided to go too far and force an honorable man to marry you, and no one will stand for it, least of all him. This is all because of your actions. This is all your fault.â He dropped her head and she simply stared at him with blank eyes, giving him nothing. He paused, then let out half a chuckle. He waved his hand and everyone left, closing the door and leaving her in darkness. She was quiet for a while, the pain rolling through her.Â
It built up slowly, pain in her chest, her throat tightening, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Then, she let out a sob that racked her whole body, then another, and another. The tears came fast and furious.Â
Shit, shit, shit. Everything hurt like hell, and her mind would just not shut up.
Were they right? Did Azrael call for this? She wasn't hurting the people, right? Did he hate her enough to call for this? Despite their fights, things werenât horrible. Or maybe they were, maybe their fights had pushed him over the edge and he called for this, called for people to capture and torture her like this for making him marry her and essentially keep him prisoner. Wait, no, no, he couldn't have. He was a knight. He wouldn't have done this, right? But what if he hated her that much? She tried to push those thoughts out of her mind, but they were only replaced with new ones.Â
When would this end? She was more than just a âdogâ of the imperial family, right? She was part of it, right? Right? She was serving the empire. Her family was good. Yeah, they took her in. She owed them everything. She was doing the right thing, right?Â
Fuck, everything hurt.Â
She tried to stop her sobs. She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself. Collect herself. Don't show weakness. This was pathetic.Â
But then another thought rushed through her.
Her troop. What had happened to them? Were they here too? What if they were hurt? What if they died? What if she failed them? No, no, donât think like that. These rebels were after her. Right? Yeah, yeah.Â
But what if she never saw them again? If they werenât dead, what if she never left this place? What if she died?
No. Do not think that way. Do not think that way. She couldnât think that way. She had to survive this. The rebels didnât plan on killing her anyway. As long as she stayed alive, she could fight. She could survive. Everything hurt, but she was alive. Everything hurt. Shit, donât think about that. Donât think about the blood that coated her skin, the constant dull pain, the sharp burning pain that flared every single name she shifted at all, at the strain on her muscles from holding this position, the way the chain around her neck, the collar, rubbed the skin raw, the way the chains were too tight. The way her broken ribs screamed with every breath. The blood trailing down her face, from her nose, her head pounding. Her eyelids felt heavy, despite her pain and discomfort, or maybe because of it. The adrenaline was wearing off, and she felt utterly exhausted and drained. Maybe remnants of the poison. She couldnât do anything for her injures right now, they could even get infected, but there was nothing she could do. She was alone. Completely alone. With that, her eyes flickered closed and she slumped, sleep overtaking her.
Her eyes flashed open as the door slammed open. Sir, she recognized the gait and eyes, walked in and she looked up at him with a glare. He dropped a try in front of her and said
âEat, bitch.â She glanced down. Some kind of mush and a small bowl of water. If she was willing to talk, she would have said âAre you fucking kidding me?â No utensils, and no move to undo the chains on her hands. They expected her to eat off it like this. She glared at Sir, and could see the smirk in his eyes as he said
âWell? Eat, like the dog you are.â Mithra glared at him. Sir lifted an eyebrow and asked
âOh, not hungry? How about thirsty? Drink your water.â He pointed at the bowl, and she just kept glaring at him. He held up three fingers and slowly said
âOne⊠twoâŠ.. three.â He snapped and yelled
âBring me a bucket of water.â He looked back at her and said
âYou listen when I give you an order. Otherwise, there are consequences.â Sir kicked the tray away from her, and another man brought in a bucket of water. Sir placed it in front of her and said
âOne last time, drink your water.â Mithra glared back, then gave a single shake of her head.
âOh, too bad,â Sir said, âBut more fun for me.â he suddenly grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head down, forcing her face into the ice cold water, and she barely had a chance to get a breath before she went under. She tried to lift her head, but the pain, exhaustion, and bad angle made it impossible as he held her head in the water. She tried to hold her breath as long as she could, but her lungs burned. Eventually, she slowly let out the breath through her nose. But she couldn't last much longer. Just has her body won against her mind and tried to take a breath, Sir yanked her head up and she gasped for air, letting out pained noises with every breath and thus stab in her chest. Then, just as she started to calm, Sir slammed her head down and under again.Â
This repeated three times until he finally let go of her head as she threw up the water she swallowed, coughing and sputtering as she fought for consciousness. She felt like she couldnât get enough air as she gasped for it, hanging her head as she tried to recover
âWhatâs wrong, bitch, had a little too much water?â She glared at Sir furiously and started to snap
âMy name is-â He punched her, hard, hard enough to make her ears ring. She blinked as he retracted his hand and said
âI didnât say you could talk, bitch.â She glared at him and opened her mouth to speak again, but he slammed his foot into her gut and she let out a yelp as pain exploded. He grabbed her face and said
âDogs donât speak, so neither do you. Donât make me cut out your tongue.â Shit. She ripped her head away, but stayed silent. She needed to escape this place eventually, and getting her tongue cut out would be bad. Sir chuckled and said
âThatâs more like it. Well, since you decided you werenât hungry, we might as well get started quickly. Letâs rinse you off first.â He picked up the bucket and threw the freezing water onto her, leaving her sopping wet. She glared at him and he said
âDonât give me that look, I was cleaning you off before we get started. Speaking ofâŠâ He snapped and more people came in, the same as yesterday, was it yesterday? How long had she been here? How long had she been out when she woke up? How long had she just slept? Wait, he had said sheâd get food and water âtomorrowâ so sheâd been here at least overnight. Would-
Pain exploded and she gave a little yelp as it started all over again, the people attacking again and again.Â
The pain seeped through her entire being until it became too much and she passed out. She was awoken with a splash of water that only served to remind her of her near drowning earlier. She flinched awake and away from the water, blinking awake. A hand reached towards her, and before she thought, a growl escaped her throat. Sirâs hand stopped, and she flinched as his laughter filled the room. He grabbed her face and she glared at him as he laughed and looked down at her, saying
âWow, youâre not even trying to act like youâre human. A growl, really?â She tried to rip her face away, but she was too weak, and he held her too tightly. He chuckled darkly and said
âYouâre just the dog of the empire, bitch. And you deserve all of this.â Did she? No, donât think that way. She glared at him, in too much pain to even try to speak. It was all she should do to keep from screaming or crying. He leaned in and said
âAw, look. Sheâs crying.â Shit. She didnât realize. She just glared back at him. It was all she could do. He threw her head aside and stepped away, saying
âCry all you want bitch. It stops nothing. This won't end until youâre slain. Till we get the prince out of captivity and to us, where he can get his revenge against you.â She tensed. The more Sir talked about Azrael, the more it felt like Azrael might have been in on this. That he might have called for this to happen. Sir looked down at her and said
âThis is merely punishment for a monster. You've been the empire's loyal attack dog for too long. I can't wait to see you put down, bitch.â Anger flared and Mithra started to snap again
âMy name is-â she was cut off by her own shriek as Sir took out and stabbed a knife into her shoulder. He ripped it out and held the point to her neck, just under the metal of the collar, sayingÂ
âName? You don't get a name, bitch.â She hissed as the knife dug into her skin, a pinprick of blood forming as he said
âYou are nothing but a dog trained to attack whoever you're told and rip them apart without mercy or remorse. Youâre responsible for so much tragedy, and I wish you knew exactly-â He paused, then drew the knife away and said
âI have an idea, but Iâll wait till next time. Weâre done here.â Sir turned on his heel and left suddenly and quickly with the rest of the people, leaving her alone in the darkness again, nothing to focus on but her pain. Her pain, and her emotions, namely anger. Mithra tried to pull against the chains, but that only served to make them bite into her skin, causing more pain that caused a whimper to emanate from her throat. She moved back to where the chains were keeping her too, and tried to look around the room, but she couldnât see anything but the faint crack of light under the door. She had to do something.
But what? Could she even escape this place? What if she was trapped here until they got Azrael to kill her? That thought made her flinch. Would Azrael do that?Â
He hated her.
But he was a good person. A knight. Everything she wished she was. He wouldnât do this, right? He wouldnât do this to another person. Sirâs words echoed in her head,
âYou are nothing but a dogâ âdisgraceful excuse for a human beingâ ânot even trying to act like youâre humanâ âYou're just an honorless trained dogâ âLike the dog you areâ âThis is merely punishment for a monsterâ
Sir did not see her as a person⊠what if Azrael didnât either? No, no, of course he did. He had been kind to her. He didnât see her the way Sir and these rebels did, right? Mithra shook her head, a mistake as pain flared on the scratch on her neck. Dammit, Sir had said he had had an idea, what could that be? Nothing good, that was for sure. But what could she do? She could barely move at all, and he wouldnât even let her speak. He wouldnât let her speak. Wouldnât say her name.Â
Why did that hurt so much? The dehumanization⊠it hurt more than the pain sometimes. Sheâd heard herself be called a dog, a monster, a bitch, a million times before by people who didnât like her, from prisoners of war, from a rioting crowd.Â
People who hated her found it easy to see her as inhuman, didnât they? She hated that. She hated it when people would do that, but she was above paying attention to it. Right? Then why did it hurt so much? Why did tears fall from her eyes? She needed to be stronger than this if she was going to survive this place. Mithra took a breath and forced herself to speak
âMy name is Mithra Reichel, formerly Mithra Lucier. I am the general of the empireâs entire military. I have worked to earn that position. I fight for the empire because it is my duty to do so and I owe them everything I have. I have achieved all the requirements to become a knight, but have chosen not to become one. I like training, and reading. I love my family. I love my friends, the troop I have spent years with, we got matching tattoos after-â She froze. Her troop, her friends. Were they ok? What if the rebels, no. The rebels were obviously there for her and her alone, and they retreated all together. She hadnât noticed any serious injuries during the fight. Her friends were likely alright, and looking for her now. She took as deep of a breath that she could with her broken ribs. Her troop would be alright. They were almost certainly searching for her.
How long had it been since she left the castle? Theyâd traveled for a day and a half before the fight, and it felt like she had been out long enough for it to have been the next day when she woke up for the⊠first session. Sir had implied it was now the day after that first session. That put her at somewhere around three days or so. That left four days until she told her family and Azrael sheâd be back. She was supposed to be at her destination right now, so her family was likely getting a little worried they hadnât heard a report from her, but it was in the reasonable time period where the letter might have just been delayed. Tomorrow or the day after would be when they would start getting worried that something happened to her if one of her troop didnât make it back to them. Alright, what could she do for now?
Not much. Nothing except sit here with her pain. Everything hurt. She sighed and hung her head, trying to shift into a more comfortable position. She might as well try to sleep.Â
After what she estimated to be a couple hours or so, unconsciousness finally took over.Â
Why did they have to wake her up with water every time? She jumped from the ice cold water that was splashed over her, her eyes flashing open to glare at the man who did it. Sir. She hated that she called him Sir in her head, but she had no other name to use. Sir chuckled and said
âRise and shine, bitch. Itâs time for something fun.â She narrowed her eyes as she lifted her head. He promptly punched her as he said
âDonât give me that look, itâs annoying.â She rolled her eyes and he hit her again. She didnât flinch. The hits did hurt, but not as much as her other injuries. Sir lifted an eyebrow and asked
âOh, are you pretending that doesnât phase you anymore? Well then, itâs good that i have something new today.â He reached forward and grabbed the metal collar, yanking her head forward as he pulled out a knife. He messed with something on the back of the collar and it loosened, not enough to let her go, but enough that he could slip his fingers between her neck and the collar. Good to note. She glared up at him, trying not to tense as he pulled out a knife. He chuckled darkly as he said
âYou forget things too easily. You forget what you are, and you forget what youâve done. I want to permanently remind you of both.â She tensed now. What was he planning? He hissed
âDonât move, or I might cut deeper than I mean to.â Then, his knife was against her neck, carving three lines into it as he said
âThis one is for the attack on [taken over kingdom]â Her first mission. There was nothing she could do as he finished the three small lines, crossing each other to create a simple star, then moved next to it and started again, saying
âThis is for [idk]â This process continued over and over and over, as Sir listed attacks and battles and missions, sometimes adding details of what sheâd done. But it was for the empire, for her family. It was her dutyâŠshe was doing what she had to. Then, as he neared the front, he hissedÂ
âTime for your recent offenses, bitch. For leading the invasion of [Azraelâs kingdom].â A star.
âFor killing the people without mercy.â A star.
âFor letting the idiot prince onto the battlefield, where he cut off the Princeâs arm.â A star, a twang of guilt. She shouldnât have let her brother onto the field, but she did.
âFor making that unbalanced treaty.â A star.
âFor forcing an honorable man to marry a monster like you.â A star. The tears sheâd barely been holding back fell. He was right⊠no, no, donât think that-
âFor keeping him prisoner without freedoms and away from his family and kingdom.â A star and a sob from her throat.
âFor trying to make him break his knightly vows.â A star.Â
âFor that cruel plan we can all see will happen if a child comes of that cursed marriage.â A star, and a flinch from her.Â
âFor trying to go to an innocent town to threaten them because they pointed out the flaws in this corrupt empire.â A star.Â
âFor talking back to meâ A star. He pulled away and said
âI will add another star for every offense you make from here on out.â She looked up at him through tear filled eyes. He pressed his knife to the blank center middle of her neck and she let out a whimper as he began to carve a large star into it, hissing
âThis one, on display for all to see, is for how you serve the empire without question. How you perform cruelty and call it duty. For how you are an evil monster that pretends to be a person.â She folded over as he pulled away, trying and failing to stop the sobs racking her body. There were a long few moments where only her sobs filled the room.Â
Shit. It hurt so much. All of it. Everything he had said. Everything she had done.
He grabbed her chin and lifted her face. His eyes were smug, triumphant at seeing her like this.
Anger flared as she looked back at him. How dare he? He called her cruel, yet he did this. She was going to escape this place, one way or another.Â
She couldnât let him break her.
She yelped as he tightened the collar again, the cold metal pressing against her bleeding neck. He stepped out, then came back with a bucket. He placed it in front of her and said
âDrink. Or else you may die of dehydration over the next couple of days. She glared up at him. But his threat could be true, he might very well not give her water for the next couple of days⊠she couldnât risk it.
Shame rushed through her as she lowered her head and tried to drink out of the bucket.
Like a dog.Â
Sir laughed and said
âGood! Youâre finally accepting what you really are. A dog.â She glared up at him, but she needed the water, so she drank as much as she could. Eventually, Sir grabbed the bucket away and said
âThatâs all for today.â He turned and left, leaving her in silent darkness again.Â
Hours passed. She fell asleep. She woke up. Time passed. She fell asleep. She woke up. Nothing happened. She was left in silence and darkness with nothing but her own mind and voice to keep her company. She talked to herself, repeating the stories of knights that she had read so many times that she memorized them. Things seemed to move in the darkness, but they were simply hallucinations her mind made up due to the isolation and lack of stimuli. But she used the pain that still throbbed through her entire body to keep her rooted in reality. She could not let herself slip into her mind. She may never come back.Â
It was a relief when freezing water splashed over her again. Her eyes flashed open, and despite her relief, she knew who to blame. She glared at Sir and his people. Sir looked at her smugly and asked
âHow was your alone time?â He didnât bother to wait for an answer before he laughed and stepped forward and dropped a bucket and a tray in front of her, saying
âEat and drink before you die of starvation.â She glared, but dipped her head. Shame be dammed, survival was more important. She ignored the laughter as best she could. She finished the food and drank the water till it was kicked away from her. She lifted her head and narrowed her eyes at the rebels. Sir looked back at her smugly, then reached towards her neck. Anger and fear exploded and she moved before she thought, attacking in the only way she could. She bit him. Sir let out a yelp as her teeth dug into his skin and blood hit her tongue. A kick landed in her stomach and she opened her mouth in surprise. Sir ripped his bleeding finger away as he snapped
âWhat the fuck!?!â The others looked to him with surprise on their faces, then they glared at her. She lifted her head as she glared back. She spit out the blood in her mouth onto Sirâs boot. Sir glared and hissed
âOh, you bitch.â He paused, then laughed and said
âYou know what? Iâve got the perfect plan to make you pay for that. Everyone out!â The others nodded and left. Sir followed, leaving her in darkness again. She sighed, her defiance and anger draining away. That had probably been a bad idea. Sheâd just made him angrier, and that would just make him more dangerous. Shit. She waited in silence for a while, not daring to fall back asleep. Just as her eyes started to seriously droop, the door opened and Sir came back in, holding something, his bitten finger bandaged. Sir lifted the thing and her eyes widened as he said
âThank you for reminding me what a dangerous attack dog needs.â
A muzzle. Sir held a muzzle. It was clearly made for a human face. How had they gotten that so quickly? She didnât have time to question before the other rebels rushed at her, grabbing her hair and lifting her head, keeping their hands away from her mouth. Someone tightened the collar until she found it choking her. She was gasping for air as Sir approached. When she opened her mouth, he shoved the muzzle at her, sticking a bar in her mouth as the metal bit into her chin, forcing her mouth to close around the bar as metal caged her in. Sir held it there as someone did the straps in the back, the rest keeping her immobilized. It was only after the muzzle was secure, the metal biting into the skin of her face, that someone loosened the collar and she sucked in as much air as she could, trying to breathe. Sir kneeled down to be face to face with her, saying
âI think this works great at keeping you silent and from biting anyone.â She tried to speak, but the position her face was held in made it impossible for the sound that left her throat to turn into any words. Sir laughed.Â
~
And that's where I left off for now! I am much more likely to pick this one back up compared to Vixen's, Thanks for reading!
AAAAAA WHERE DO I START??? THIS WAS SO WHUMPY FROM START TO FINISH IM GOING INSANE!!!!
The kidnapping!! NO MATTER HOW WELL TRAINED SHE IS SHE CANT FIGHT POSION WITH A SWORD!!! THEY FOUGHT DIRTY SHE NEVER HAD A CHANCE!!
Itâs not just a name anymore theyâre TAKING EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO TREAT HER LIKE A ACTUAL DOG YOU CRUEL CRUEL GENIUS!! Everything reflects that point of view too!! Sheâs forced to kneel the whole time!! She only knows him as âSirâ!! And a muzzle?? A MUZZLE!!! Heâs giving her no room to take back her personhood, SHE. CANT. EVEN. SAY. HER. OWN. NAME!!!!! AND NOW SHE CANT SPEAK AT ALL!!!!
The dehumanization is so top tier!! HE ETCHED A TALLY FOR EVERYTHING SHES DONE INTO HER NECK SO SHE CANT LIFT HER HEAD PROUDLY WITHOUT BEING CHOKED BY THE SINS OF THE PAST!!!! BEING FORCED TO EAT LIKE A DOG AND DROWNED WHEN SHE DOESNT!!! SHE GAVE UP AND DRUNK FROM THE BUCKET, SURVIVAL WINNING OVER SHAME, then BIT HIM!!!! THE GROWLING!!! I LOVED THAT!! They see her as nothing more than a dog anyway, right!!?
And the way he talks to her!! There were so many things he said that I want to quote but I especially lost it when he said:
âDogs don't speak, so neither do you. Don't make me cut out your tongue.â
SUSNSAIDGSJSXHSJSCJD he just grabs her face to get her attention the same way Damian snapped at Vixen AAAAAA!!
It also speaks to his personality in a way. It seems like both him and Mithra are driven by a strong sense of duty and whatâs âright.â All of his reasons for hating her trace back to things sheâs done to others, especially the prince; his chip is rooted in otherâs suffering, not just himself. But HES ALSO GOING ABOUT IT IN A COMPLETELY INEXCUSABLE WAY LIKE DUDE???
Mithra had it exactly right! Heâs exchanging cruelty for cruelty without even knowing the whole story. He calls her a dog, shames her for carrying out the empireâs actions, but heâs no different. Heâs acting on part of the information the way a dog would a command, just like she does for the empire. Heâs letting his fury and vengeance own him. So in a way, doesnât that make him a pet to his anger?
I need to see Azrael!! Did he set this up?? Does he see her like they do and was just hiding it?? Getting his arm chopped off is a good motivation for anger but this??? I donât want to believe it!And it gets me that thereâs no way to tell!! She calls her familyâs cruelty love so whoâs to say she isnât doing the same with him because heâs a knight!!!
And this also raises so many questions about her friends! Mithra is doing this because she feels that she owes the empire her life, so all of the bad things were swept under the rug and blinded by loyalty. But why are her friends doing this? Do they agree with the empireâs actions or are they in a similar place that she is? They seem nice, but thatâs when theyâre comfortable, not when faced with someone that combats their orders.
And the emotional aspect because what do you mean ââAnd she was⊠whatever she wasââ Iâm going to sob who let her think these things?? T~T
Seeing her change from start to end was fantastic! Calculated silence and blank looks, to tears openly streaming down her face, second guessing herself and her place in the family. But not once loosing that glare!!
She put so much worth in a title she hoped to achieve, and because she couldnât she held anyone that could on this pedestal built on what they should be. She still has this child like sense of honor and integrity grounded in her, so much faith in people without them having earned it. But the core of it all is her desire to help everyone, which makes it so much worse.
She put so much trust in Azrael because if she was a knight, she would be someone she could trust, someone that probably would have protected her when she was little. But she forgot that there are people that donât carry the same ideologies she does that get to wear the armor.
And because she had nothing she thought an ounce of anything was everything. She thought so much of the empire and never put any thought into herself, so the second sheâs apart from them itâs easy for her sense of self to slip.
Not once did she think she was undeserving of death. Just that Azrael was a good person and this isnât a good thing to do.
How could she possibly make the prince marry her?? She said it herself that the marriage was sprung on her, she didnât even know his name before, and yet the words still hit her to the point that she recited them.
Her desire to be seen and understood is so heartbreaking I just want to give her the entire world. I loved seeing her strength, aspirations, reasoning for her shortchanges, and her vulnerability all rolled up into a whumpy mess!!
It makes me so happy when you read my stuff because you get everything SPOT ON!!!!
To answer some questions, Azrael has nothing to do this this. He doesn't even know what's happened until she stumbles back way later than she said she'd be back, all he knows is that he's been kept up in their little sweet, with only visits from Monika (his physician) allowed.
And the first thing Mithra says to him when she stumbles in and collapses on the couch? "Do not lie to me, Prince Azrael [last name] of [kingdom]. Did you tell them to do this?" And he's like ????? And is trying to find out what happened, but she repeats the question, getting more and more freaked out until he finally says no, he didn't. When he finds out what happened, he is pissed. (And shortly before she left, the two of them had a sorta big fight. Also, in general, she is incredibly respectful towards him and they trade bed and couch each night)
As for her friends, something I would like to talk about is Mithra's position. She is the highest general of the entire military. Her family has put her in charge of all of that. With that said, Mithra is clearly close with her people. Every single military leader of the empire is there because she choose to put them there. Mithra is incredibly kind, and has made freinds with everyone in the military that she's met. They all respect her heavily.
And honestly? They are more loyal to her than to the empire. Sheâs earned their loyalty. The empire hasn't. They are loyal to the empire because she's loyal to them.
This whole event is the beginning of the opening of Mithra's eyes. Her family doesn't check on her when she gets back.
The imperial family is also... not great. There are 2 heirs, and neither are good people. The empire needs a different ruler, but Mithra does not have a legitimate claim because her family choose not to give her one.
But when Mithra's loyalties shift from her family to the actual people, the extremely powerful military still stands behind her. What Im getting at is that later in the story, Mithra is doing a military coup and becoming empress. Yay!
And I can't think of much else to say, you got it all spot on!!!
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like âI mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it worksâ
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
alright I've got to do some quick math to explain attitudes towards AI to my boss.
we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)
please rb for larger sample size!
Question 1/3
What is your age, and do you feel AI is a net positive or net negative in our lives today?
given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that
According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening. Drowning does not look like drowningâDr. Pia, in an article in the Coast Guardâs On Scene magazine, described the Instinctive Drowning Response like this:
âExcept in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled before speech occurs.
Drowning peopleâs mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface of the water. The mouths of drowning people are not above the surface of the water long enough for them to exhale, inhale, and call out for help. When the drowning peopleâs mouths are above the surface, they exhale and inhale quickly as their mouths start to sink below the surface of the water.
Drowning people cannot wave for help. Nature instinctively forces them to extend their arms laterally and press down on the waterâs surface. Pressing down on the surface of the water permits drowning people to leverage their bodies so they can lift their mouths out of the water to breathe.
Throughout the Instinctive Drowning Response, drowning people cannot voluntarily control their arm movements. Physiologically, drowning people who are struggling on the surface of the water cannot stop drowning and perform voluntary movements such as waving for help, moving toward a rescuer, or reaching out for a piece of rescue equipment.
From beginning to end of the Instinctive Drowning Response peopleâs bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick. Unless rescued by a trained lifeguard, these drowning people can only struggle on the surface of the water from 20 to 60 seconds before submersion occurs.â
This doesnât mean that a person that is yelling for help and thrashing isnât in real troubleâthey are experiencing aquatic distress. Not always present before the Instinctive Drowning Response, aquatic distress doesnât last longâbut unlike true drowning, these victims can still assist in their own rescue. They can grab lifelines, throw rings, etc.
Look for these other signs of drowning when persons are in the water:
Head low in the water, mouth at water level
Head tilted back with mouth open
Eyes glassy and empty, unable to focus
Eyes closed
Hair over forehead or eyes
Not using legsâvertical
Hyperventilating or gasping
Trying to swim in a particular direction but not making headway
Trying to roll over on the back
Appear to be climbing an invisible ladder
So if a crew member falls overboard and everything looks OKâdonât be too sure. Sometimes the most common indication that someone is drowning is that they donât look like theyâre drowning. They may just look like they are treading water and looking up at the deck. One way to be sure? Ask them, âAre you all right?â If they can answer at allâthey probably are. If they return a blank stare, you may have less than 30 seconds to get to them. And parentsâchildren playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why.
Can I just say thank you to OP for putting such a detailed description on this?
Iâve been a lifeguard for 6 years now and of all the saves Iâve done, maybe two or three had people drowning in the stereotypical thrashing style. And even those, like the save I made last weekend, it was exactly like OP describes where the personâs head is going in and out of the water but it isnât long enough to get any air. Mostly you recognize drowning by the look on someoneâs face. If someone looks wide eyed and terrified or confused, chances are theyâre drowning. That look of âoh shitâ is pretty easily recognizable. And even if you canât tell for sure: GO AFTER THEM ANYWAY. Iâve done âsavesâ where a kid was pretending to drown and I mistook it for real drowning, but thatâs preferable to a kid ACTUALLY drowning.
Also please remember that even strong swimmers can drown if they have a medical emergency, get cramps, or get too tired. If your friend knows how to swim but theyâre acting funny get them to land. And even if someone can respond when you ask them if they need help, if they say they do need help? GO HELP THEM.
However . If the victim is a stranger, I canât recommend trying to get them. Lifeguards literally train to escape âattacks,â because people who are drowning can freak the fuck out and grab you and make YOU drown as well. If you do go in after someone, take hold of them from the back and talk to them the whole time. IF YOU ARE GRABBED: duck down into the water as low as you can get. The person is panicking and wonât want to go under water and should release you. Shove up at their hands and push them away from you as you duck under. Donât die trying to save someone else.
Please guys, read and memorize this post. Not all places have lifeguards. Being able to recognize drowning is such an important skill to have and you can save someoneâs life.
In a water park once, I was suddenly grabbed by a child and he dragged me under the water without warning. I was going to get angry with him when I resurfaced because I thought he was being an ass, until I looked at him go back in and out hyperventilating the entire time. I grabbed him under his arms and began trying to drag him out while screaming for the lifeguard.
When the lifeguard got us both out, a woman came running down and accused me of harming him and said he had been completely fine in the water. That there was no reason to drag him out of there. The lifeguard had to explain to her that her son had been drowning, to which her response was to say that she didnât hear him call for help.
