Too Spicy @smolhat - Tumblr Blog

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cataradical

i will return for the child within one month

this is your warning

ruinedchildhood

tastefullyoffensive

maxistentialist-deactivated2020

Every word in this headline is funnier than the one before it.

drovie

Today at therapy was really hard. I was sitting here crying, and generally being miserable, when I felt a nudge at my knee. I looked down to see that Zeus, my service dog, was doing his job… and brought me a potato. it is very hard to cry with a gift of potato.

drovie

Remember this? I’m having a rough time right now. Zeus has a solution.

That would be an empty pill bottle, the *correct* pill bottle, a bottle of embossing powder, and two, TWO potatoes.

afkland

You’re worth at least 2 potato to him and that’s pretty special imo.

drovie

I would just like to remind you all that *I don’t own any potatoes* and I have no clue where he’s getting them from.

mjalti

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

i started jogging in a new million dollar neighborhood. i’ve just made friends with the local jogging crew headed by ashtonlynn and brotyna “chichi” who has a single millionaire brother,

eclipticzero

Is there any version of this plan where I don’t have to jog

mjalti

u only have to jog past the ladies which is like 46 seconds. suck it up for the fraud of it all

smolhat

Is this a genderbender version of better call Saul

chipsprites

thank you

xenosmorch

sam-the-cat-lady

WATER

EARTH

Fire

AIR

Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avacatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years passed and my brother and I adopted the new Avacatar, a kittybender named Steve. And although his felinebending skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Steve can save the world.