Untitled

[stevienick]

[soularbuds]

wish i was snuggling not struggling

[basketballhoopshowerhead]

Itd be funny as fuck if the world operated like how people with social anxiety think it does. Like what if you got on a bus and everyone was like wow look at that piece of shit loser. Get off the bus you ugly bastard

[afeelgoodblog]

Blessed_News

[haileggs]

AMAZING!!!! Amazing.

[bout2headout]

[sistertaxon]

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

[thesylverlining]

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

[kittyknowsthings]

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

[systlin]

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

[totohoy-blog]

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

[systlin]

I mean. 

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

[musicalhell]

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

[fuckstaffposts]

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

[rpluvsyj]

This post is a blessing

[wittyusername97]

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

[kitvalkyrie]

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

[10thingsihateabout-all-yall]

Oh my god they were phishing

[haltherobot]

Sirens: we have beignets

Me: (visibly shaking) I know they are lying but what if

[folie-a-nudes-blog]

WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????

[iamthedukeofurl]

We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw. 

[valtsv]

HOT WOMEN IN YOUR AREA WANT TO EXPLORE ANCIENT RUINS WITH YOU

[m-a-n-d-u-s-a]

[arandomthot]

Might have to do it another 10 or 12 times to really make sure

[officialmickrock-deactivated202]

I’m in love with the great British bake off

[thesoundofawesome]

This is my personal favorite(so far)

[ironswordandstarshield]

[sissyhiyah]

I must start watching this.

[bad-intentixns]

nudes are art so you ain’t a hoe you a vincent van ghoe

[saintk1tty]

when im dead sext me through a ouija board

[weltenwellen]

oh the relatability

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

Me chatting with mutuals on Tumblr

[raddestbabe]

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

[olivertrees]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[sweetoothgirl]

ZEBRA MARBLE PANCAKES

[just9gag]

When you’re in the 1400’s Florence and your buddy starts coughing

[moony-f]

update: when you’re in Milan in 2020

[sharky857]

update#2: when you’re anywhere in Italy in 2020

[20th-centuryghost]

update#3: when you’re anywhere in 2020