better living through sarcasm

WiFi addict, good at baking, slightly evil

[ladytengen]

[hungry-skeleton]

Mowing through an entire box of pocky feeling like a pencil sharpener being fed whole pencils by a 3rd grader

[divorce-enjoyer]

why go to the grocery store or to a restaurant when you can just get food delivered why go to the mall when you can get same day shipping on amazon why go to the library when you have kindle why make art when there’s ai why go to the cinema when you can stay at home and watch netflix. we are in a loneliness epidemic btw

[divorce-enjoyer]

the loneliness epidemic was invented by BIG SHIT to sell you more SHIT

[decompositie]

[foodforthot]

did trilobites walked among flowering plants

[foodforthot]

life could be dream…

[songofsaraneth]

pleased to report that in Tim Curry's memoir he is tight-lipped on every single love affair he's EVER had, except of course for the one with Miss Piggy during the filming of Muppet Treasure Island, which he rightfully insists was a quite passionate encounter

[aquariumpacific]

How we weigh an octopus!

[indigobluerose]

put the octopus in the basket

put the octopus in the basket

put the octopus in the basket

weigh the bas--

put the octopus in the basket

weigh the basket

put the octopus in the water

treat!

[drbtinglecannon]

You should be able to rot in bed for 2, maybe 3 hours after waking up before it starts affecting what time it is. If I wake up at 8:30 and lie in bed for 2hr it should still be 8:30 when I get up

[hellenhighwater]

Siblings, man.

[whichcouldmeanothing]

Bisexuals. Everybody wants us, but no one "wants" us. Hey, lesbians! What did we ever do to you, besides lead you on and break your heart?

Hannah Einbinder: Everything Must Go (2024) dir. Sandy Honig

[theslowesthnery]

gently staples this thread to the forehead of the people going "ew why would you ship mohg with miquella when you could make an OC/self-insert to ship with him instead"

the answer, you'll find, is shockingly simple: because that doesn't interest me. because that does literally nothing for me. because i'd rather piss in my own eye than ship a canon character with my OC (or self-insert). i promise you, if i had any interest in that, i would do it without needing to be told, but i don't so i won't. you're asking a person who likes chocolate cake why they're not eating banana cake instead as if those two are even remotely the same

[deputyrook]

digestion and assimilation, masquerading as inclusion, interconnection, and kinship -> Midsommar (2019) & Sinners (2025)

[fucxingcuties]

[existennialmemes]

Be Wary, Be Wary, the 6th of January

Ball tazers, Stampedes, and Despot

I know of No Reason,

Why the Trump MAGA Treason

Should Ever Be Forgot

[lustcannibalism]

if I don’t reply just assume it’s my curse acting up

[secretsofthewilde]

"It is a child of particular disposition that looks at gargoyles while others sing hymns to the Lord at church. I have to believe [Mary Shelley] felt, like me, more at home with the wretched than with the winners. History is written by the victors, but art is mostly chronicled by the disfranchised.

All of my life, I was in love with monsters; this is a fact."

- Guillermo del Toro, Introduction: Mary Shelley, or the Modern Galatea; The New Annotated Frankenstein (2017)

[saintcolumbiformes]

Worst thing ever in the whole world is when a thunderstorm is forecasted and then it doesn’t storm. literally so rude I was excited for this all day.

[itssjanedoe]