Thoughts of a Silent Extrovert™

listen, sometimes you pick a username when you're 15 and you carry that with you even when you're 28 because you're an adult about this and consistency matters goddamnit (i don’t tag so don’t follow me if you have difficulties with spoilers or triggers)

[thestuffedalligator]

“When we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.

“And we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-”

She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. “Things got pretty bad after that,” she muttered. “I know it’s silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We don’t know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if she’s even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when I’m out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didn’t - didn’t really take that well.”

After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. “Anyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.”

[charl0ttan]

dog i gotta move like yesterday

[adz]

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now

[dietspam16]

[furtherallthetime]

mutuals whenever i like your post about being miserable please imagine me like this

[cutecipher]

fuuuuck my pet peeve got loose

[poligon-sticker]

Study with Sandro Botticelli and "What's it like working at Lush"

[filthyprotozoan]

people are always like “i have face blindness but i’m good with names” or “im terrible with names but i never forget a face” well baby idk how to tell u this but i am . bad at both.

[filthyprotozoan]

yesterday i didn’t recognize my coworker bc he was wearing a purple shirt and im used to him wearing all black

[filthyprotozoan]

yeah and im stomping you to death with my hooves

[lychgate]

my husband put on a wig, in front of me, and i immediately got distressed and mad because it looked like a stranger was in our house and my ape brain wanted to attack

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I once accidentally filled in a form using my internet name, went "that's not right", realised I didn't remember my legal name, panicked, and started filling it in with the names of everyone in my lab in order until I stumbled on the name that I recognised as being used for me.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#i FREQUENTLY stare at anybody who is blonde with bangs going 'is that my best friend i've lived with for 3 years...?'#the answer is always no it's just a different blonde girl with bangs

I used to be a nanny. So I was taking this toddler to various activities in town and stuff, and parents would be there of course with their own toddlers and

EVERY

TODDLER MUM

DRESSES

THE FUCKING SAME

Same haircuts, same jackets, same tops and pants. I could NEVER tell anybody apart. I was there in my leather jacket and workboots and crew cut so they all got a huge advantage in recognising me, but I was shit out of luck. I had to try to see what child they were with and guess.

[impossiblepackage]

i once was filling out a form and just fuckin stared at the spot for my last name for 5 minutes trying to remember

[tk-duveraun]

my spouse and I met online and I use his online name 99% of the time so when I have to use his government name there's a pause and I have to buffer and think before I can say it.

even to his face I just give up and go "babe"

[crimespreee]

love how different sam and amy's laptops and water bottles are. his nothing vs. her everything

[ratbastarddotfuck]

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

[digitalsymbiote]

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

[sniffthecactus]

i like bananas because they have no bones

[vriskakinnieaynrand]

[onion-souls]

[raccoonmilf]

Fun fact: due to the ongoing financial support from the people of tumblr, critically endangered pygmy raccoons being rehabbed in Cozumel are now able to get vaccines for deadly diseases like distemper and rabies before they are released.

[leebrontide]

The funniest and most enduring legacy of dashcon.

[emuus]

Ben Doyle X Teddy Bear Museum

[scavengedluxury]

Stained glass window spandrel, Sainsbury's, High Road, Brondesbury, 1969. From the Sainsbury Archive.

[my-dailydreams]

[athelind]

Beautiful and kind, check. Looks like butter, sure.

But let's not overlook the elegant engineering of the soap dish itself: that graceful stem is positioned to let water drain out of the dish, avoiding the issue of "soap soup" that most soap dishes accumulate.

[fantasising-about-escape-blog]

[ratbrick]

OHMYGOD. 

Why would there be a bottle of wine on the stove?!

[iwritewithaposionpen-hasmoved]

WTF Barbie you can’t use a cutting board for a bulletin board

[dirtinthenails]

BARBIE! you should know better than to leave a cheese grater on the edge of the fridge! someone could get hurt!

[swanofmischief]

Um, okay, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT BARBIE is cleaning her kitchen floor with a garden hose? Get it together, Barbie.

[radical-sin-deactivated20140212]

OH MY GOD BARBIE! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LEAVE THOSE DIRTY DISHES IN YOUR SINK? SERIOUSLY GET IT TOGETHER BARBIE!

[enregize-deactivated20180729]

…Seriously?

People. Wow. Open your EYES.

Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HER FLOOR

IN

WHITE

PANTS???

[arsenalqueened-deactivated20150]

CLOSE THE DAMN REFRIGERATOR! YOUR LETTING ALL THGE COLD OUT!

[underneath-corktrees]

Barbie, seriously? The blender on top of the fridge? You could get hurt!!1

[murdock]

Guys for the love of god how can you not notice the freaking rat next to the fridge?! WTF Barbie? Clean your house more often, would ya?

[girlyghosty]

Barbie, who the hell puts a calculator on their fridge. COME ON! GET WITH THE TIMES!

[strawberryoverlord]

I love how everyone pretends not to notice the toaster next to the sink. BARBIE! YOU COULD GET ELECTROCUTED IF THAT FELL IN! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GURL!

[offvocalremade]

what the hell is wrong with you people???!?!?!

omfg how can you not notice the fact the fridge has three layers of drawers on the bottom? what the fuck?? barbie fridges dont work that way im sorry

[aeolus06]

SERIOUSLY?!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! CAN YOU SEE THAT A SERIOUS CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE?!!

THAT WALLPAPER! IT’S HIDEOUS! Get a freakin’ sense of style, woman!

[politenuclearbomb]

theres a dead body

[expressions-of-nature]

Dolgiye Mountains, Russia by Arseny Kashkarov