I give up @so-darkness-i-became - Tumblr Blog

mentally-ill-loser-rants

sometimes I pray I'll never wake up

sad-empty-lost

Looking at buildings thinking are they tall enough to jump off and kill myself

worthless-misery

I don't seek death anymore.

It's just that I'd be fine if my heart stopped beating today.

I'm tired and a break would be nice.

That's all. I'm sorry.

reireicryblood

messymotherfcker

Suicide is feeling less and less like a back up plan and more and more like an inevitability with every day that passes

crmsnmth

Lest I Be Tempted

Temptation doesn’t knock it waits

It learns your routines the hour you resolve things the moment your loneliness starts making bargains

It speaks softly never asks for everything only a little relief only tonight

It wears familiar faces old habits with old names the version of yourself you swore you buried

You feel it before you choose the warmth behind the ribs that quiet yes forming before thought arrives

Temptation never threatens It promises

It says you deserve this no one will know you can stop whenever you want

It doesn’t drag you downward it invites you to step off the edge yourself and calls it freedom

The fall is gentle at first almost beautiful

Only later do you notice how much farther the ground is than you remembered

Afterward, it leaves without apology watching you gather the pieces like someone who’s done this before

And when you swear never again it smiles patiently

Because temptation doesn’t need strength

It only needs time

darkmeetslight

I know there is more to me.

buttcrank6996

I'm doing it again.

Self destructing slowly.

gentlewordsdaily

Sometimes there’s this quiet, confusing urge to feel worse, like if things got bad enough, then it would finally make sense. Like your pain would be visible, undeniable. Like people would take it seriously, or you would be allowed to take yourself seriously without second-guessing it.

It’s not really about wanting to suffer. It’s about wanting your suffering to feel real.

When you have been holding things in, minimizing them, or being told (directly or indirectly) that it’s “not that bad,” you start to doubt your own experience. You compare. You question. You wonder if you are overreacting. And somewhere in that confusion, the thought creeps in: maybe if it got worse, I would d finally be allowed to feel this way.

But needing your pain to be validated doesn’t make you dramatic. It means you haven’t been properly seen or understood. It means you have been carrying things that didn’t get the care they deserved.

Your feelings don’t need to reach a breaking point to be real. They already are. The exhaustion, the heaviness, the confusion, it all counts, even in its quieter forms.

You don’t have to prove your hurt by letting it consume you. You don’t have to earn compassion by getting worse. You deserve to be taken seriously as you are, right now.

Wanting to feel valid is such a human need. And you are valid, not because of how bad things get, but because you are feeling them at all. 🤍

bxrderlinebxy

i want you to hate me. i want you to wish i’m dead. i want you to block me and never think of me again. so when i die, you won’t have to feel the pain.

i want you to love me. i want you to hold me. i want you to want to never let go. i want you to value me. i want you to love me. so when i live, you won’t have to feel the pain.