Valkyr @sociallyineptbean - Tumblr Blog

“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid

anistarrose

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

hydrachea

> turns on my computer

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> opens my email

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> launches a software

> disables a new AI fea

wegotfoodathome

I actually have no idea where to put a paragraph break, I just be doing it for the vibe. Yeah feels like a good spot let’s hit enter here.

satan-offical

I'm so mad I think I'm going to help increase the trout population

satan-offical

Please stop reblogging I don't want my digital footprint to be me shagging trout

#funnies

malwarechips

"i think", i say, about my own ocs, who i made,

rosexknight

“my headcanon is…” i say about the canon that i made about my own characters

#writing #writing funnies #funnies

baddywronglegs

I've asked this question before and been surprised by the results, now I have access to more weirdos it's your problem:

It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.

Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.

Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?

Fairy

Walrus

Voting ended onFeb 26, 2024

baddywronglegs

Not naming options to skew votes but...

I think there's something fundamentally baffling with the way most of you think.

formlesschromatic

troacctid

Happy birthday to this iconic poll

unyieldingsilence

‎

#funnies #image

mintbees

steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower

mintbees

Overheard in the office hallway between two older businessmen:

“Don’t you dare pull my shirt up, I have a meeting.”

letmebegaytodd

You know what happy pride to those two guys

letmebegaytodd

#funnies #gay

homunculus-argument

Never fight a guy in a wheelchair in close quarters. Once you're within arm's reach, you're in his melee range, and once he grabs a hold of you, you are FUCKED.

squirrel--boy

THEY CAN RUN YOU OVER JUST BY MOVIJG ACROSS YOU

THEY HAVE A CONSTANT METAL IMPROMPTU WEAPON ON THEM AT ALL TIMES

They are TERRIFYING

homunculus-argument

Nevermind the chair itself, it's their upper body strength that's your primary problem here. Every day is arms and chest day if your primary form of locomotion is pushing yourself forward by hand. If you get grabbed, you're getting wrung into a pretzel.

#funnies

byjove

Video game where you get to play as a knight of the Round Table and go on quests and gain renown and level up your skills and befriend and romance other characters but it always ends in everyone being slaughtered at Camlann. You can decide to assist Mordred in usurping his father or support the king you have served for so long but everyone will die anyway. This kingdom will inevitably crumble, you can’t do anything about it. You can put hundreds of hours into it and there is nothing you can do about that. But you CAN flirt with sexy single father Gawain!

#funnies

cryptotheism

If staff reformed the ban system to stop banning trans women and used the resulting good will to re-introduce pornography, this site would become a juggernaut. It would swallow Twitter whole.

#funnies

the-sacred-now

I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔

the-sacred-now

Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep

the-sacred-now

Uh oh

Is what she said when I immediately reached for my phone and opened Tumblr instead of responding

the-sacred-now

@everything-you-feel-is-real I know by tumblr tradition that I'm to say "impossible, my posts never blow up like that," or "please don't do this to me."

But I feel in my bones that you are right. If this is to be my wife's moment of glory, I am willing to suffer notification overload, that the world may know she is funny. #MyFunnyWife

#funnies