euphoria @softiejoon - Tumblr Blog

Jul 20

DEAR Y/N: DON’T YOU THINK THIS GOT OUT OF HAND?

pairing: serial killers!ot8!skz x fem!reader

genre: crackfic, dark comedy, dark romance, horror

summary: part ii. well, you survived them last time. now you have to live your life with them constantly on you. they keep killing people. they keep fighting each other. they keep getting blood everywhere. and you keep letting them fall in love with you, but doesn’t that get hard when one of them becomes your boyfriend, even accidentally?

warnings: non idol au, violence, blood, little mentions of gore(like holding a kidney up once?) and vomiting, cannibalism(felix, it’s not in detail but still gross), obsessive behavior, cursing, homicidal behavior/psychopathy, felix and han are still dumb, sexual content(no smut written but there’s talk about sex, mentions of humping, riding and virginity loss), jealousy, physical fights(not serious, just boys being boys), slight mention of alcoholism(hyunjin), reader is not that right morally and let’s not even talk about the boys, plz read the author’s note on the bottom it’s important

word count: 16k

you’re not like… dating these serial killers, are you?

no.

not yet, at least.

where did we leave off last time? something about you getting used to them. so yeah, you have your boys now. your eight brutally capable and deeply evil boys who cannot leave you alone for a minute now.

you sit down and three of them sit closer on instinct, it can escalate to the point that they’re sitting in your lap. like you stand up and at least one goes “where are you going.” you laugh and the room looks at you like you just invented happiness. because for them, you might have. the only thing that brought them happiness so far was human guts in their hands, and now a sweet, pretty, normal girl is willing to spend time with them?? they’re living their best lives.

there’s always at least one of them touching you at any given time. shoulder, knee, ur hoodie sleeve, the back of your neck, whatnot.

they are NOT slick.

and a tension started developing for a while now. like, between you and them. you could cut it with one of the suspiciously well maintained knives in the house.

this is hyunjin’s fault, let’s start there. he started this with the “is this yours” bullshit and now look at him. he acts the calmest but is actually the most cooked. always standing just slightly too close behind you. hand on your lower back when he passes. casually brushing hair out of your face like that’s a normal friend activity??? but he’ll say shit like “you have something on your face.” and just stare at your lips. sir. be serious.

almost heartless psycho who feels the hottest with human blood smeared all over his face, but for you, he refills your water before you realize it’s empty, turns the heat up if you’re cold, swaps seats if he thinks you’re exposed to any type of danger in your current one. (unc what danger you’re in a cat cafe)

chan acts like he’s above all this. he is not, clearly. he pretends he’s just “looking out for you” but he’s the worst for staring. you’ll look up and he’s already looking. no shame. zero.

but he’s also the one who pulls you behind him automatically in public, adjusts your jacket collar, wipes something off your cheek with his thumb. pffft he’s adorable. and so blank. mostly his eyes are, they look dead. he’s clearly short on feelings, but he has the most for you.

changbin is the safest, probably. for you. he’s also the most openly affectionate, arms around your shoulders, leaning against you on the couch, or just… sitting in your lap in public. y’all lost count of how many times you pushed him to the floor for that.

he doesn’t even realize how couple coded he is. the others notice. they hate it.

and jeongin is not subtle. jeongin has never been subtle in his life.

“you look really good today.” “you smell nice.” “you know you could just sit on my lap, right?”

goooood he’d give anything to hit. okay not just hit, this man has a deep crush on you, it just comes off as him basically humping your leg 24/7.

minho flicks your forehead for attention. steals your phone. complains when you don’t sit near him. grown ass serial killer but he really really needs your attention. if someone else is getting too much of it he’s like “okay damn, are we done with that or—” sir you kill people for fun. okay i take that back, he’s really attached and you’re really special to him, he doesn’t think anyone else will accept him, accept them like you do. so he has all the rights to be so hung up on you.

seungmin is just a bitch. most of the time he’ll just silently appear next to you, no footsteps, no warning, just suddenly: “move over.” and now your thighs are pressed together and he’s acting like that’s not doing anything to him. he watches how the others touch you. memorizes it. then does the same thing later but gentler, hoping you’ll like his version more. he’s not good with emotions, all he can do is copy others and hope for the best outcome.

felix, the walking head injury, is physically incapable of subtlety. he’ll just drop his whole body weight onto you on the couch. hug you from behind with zero warning. rest is chin on your shoulder and breathe really really loud.

you have to physically turn his face toward you when he gets distracted by a ceiling fan. or hold him back when he wants to run after the mailman. but he’s so head over heels for you it’s ridiculous. if you look even mildly sad, he’s panicking.

han, the other walking head injury but in the form of him actually having one most times because he cannot make a difference between clean breathing air and glass, is just as fond of you if not more. he holds your hand a lot, plays with your fingers. he also loves your cheeks. i mean the ones on your face, but damn can he be hypnotized by your ass too.

he will absolutely walk into a table while looking at you. frequently. it’s brutal how the others don’t even react anymore.

you are genuinely the this is fine dog. y’know that meme. because you really do like them, even though they’re evil. off. they don’t feel bad about hurting strangers but will absolutely be on your dick all day because you sounded slightly tired when you said good morning.

you’re not “a person” to them in the general sense.

you’re their person.

big difference.

like, you wake up, and at least one of them is already in your space. not even in a creepy way anymore. ANYMORE!!! hyunjin could be sitting at the edge of the bed scrolling on his phone, or changbin could be asleep on the floor with a blanket because he knows you’d push him off the bed. han is halfway off the mattress, in a starfish position. felix could be hugging you from behind, so he’s the one who gets pushed off the bed.

or you wake up to jeongin on the floor next to your bed, scrolling on his phone. the second he notices you’re awake, he leans over and presses a kiss to the side of your head.

“morning, pretty. i brought breakfast.” he says, holding up a crumpled bag. “also i couldn’t sleep. also i missed you. also i think you should fix your front door, i broke in.”

you take the bag. there’s one croissant. bitten. you still eat it.

seungmin usually shows up not long after, pretending he was just in the area, the area being your entire life. he drops onto your couch, legs spread, acting like he’s the fucking boss, but the second you walk past him he grabs your wrist and tugs you between his knees, murmuring a “come here.”

felix is worse. sometimes he’s asleep on your couch(he would’ve climbed into the bed next to you, it just didn’t come to mind because he… doesn’t think a lot) and he wakes up because he rolled into a table leg.

“did we win.”

no one knows what he means.

sometimes, if they’re not in your bed in the morning, they’re somewhere else in the house while you clearly don’t remember going to sleep with any of them over. sometimes minho is leaning against the counter, pretending not to look at you, but the second you sit down he nudges your knee with his, like a cat headbutting your hand.

jeongin always finds a way to tell you you look hot before noon. every day.

they don’t just like you. they’ve imprinted, if that’s the right word. and people like them don’t attach easily. they mimic, they perform, they understand emotions cognitively, not instinctively. but with you, it’s not performance. it’s fixation. protective. possession mixed up with genuine care in a way that would make any therapist quit on the spot.

you get cold, and six hoodies appear. you get quiet, and the whole house lowers its volume. you get hurt, and they’re ready to throw hands.

and you don’t get scared of their intensity anymore. you let them be them. you let han play with your fingers. you let felix use your shoulder as a chin rest. you fall asleep with someone’s hand fisted in your hoodie.

you also started meeting their eye contact instead of dodging it. started touching back, sometimes, but only with actual intention. like, comforting one of them or smth.

stockholm syndrome? trauma? maybe. or maybe humans just get used to the weather they live in.

what still takes effort though, is when they come home bloody. yeah, we’ve never really got over that. you’ll be sitting at home like “hey, how was—” when they come over and then you clock the red and your brain has to run over all possible things that could’ve happened before you finish with a “—your night.”

hyunjin washes his hands like he just changed a tire. chan tells minho to stop tracking mud in (it is not mud). changbin asks if you ate dinner yet. jeongin tries to hug you and you have to go: “shower. now. immediately.”

later, when they’re clean, they come back to you again. felix will curl around you, han will hold your hand with both of his, hyunjin’s hand always ends up at your back, and whatnot.

you’re not scared of them anymore. you’re scared of how much you’d miss them if they were gone.

because, for an example, you can’t even imagine going shopping alone now.

han always wants to push the cart. dead serious, both hands, focused. crashes into a display of cereal within two minutes.

“i was avoiding a child.” he says.

there was no child.

felix is grabbing everything in sight. you end up buying three types of cookies a watermelon none of you know how to cut so chan ends up doing that, and a brutal amount of fruits. all this while he’s holding your hand.

han turns around to talk to you while still pushing. the cart goes sideways. you grab the handle before he takes out an elderly woman.

they look so fucking pleased just existing near you that you don’t even mind their bullshit anymore. if only the people around you knew you hang out with brutal murderers.

for clothes shopping, when not your friends, you take chan and hyunjin now.

like, you come out of the fitting room.

chan leans back in the chair, squints. “turn around.”

you do.

he nods. “yeah. that’s good.”

and hyunjin’s staring like you just stepped out in a wedding dress, not a shirt with a little more cleavage than usual.

“do you like it?” you ask.

he clears his throat. “yeah. i mean. yeah. you look— yeah.”

and after you pay(which they try to do instead of you multiple times), chan immediately grabs the bag for you. you end up walking between them while they hold all your bags, and it’s not even because they saw it in movies or whatnot. it’s because their horribly made up little brain told them this is the right thing to do for their y/n.

a woman passing by smiles at you three like this is wholesome. only if she knew.

changbin is attached to you. physically. and he loves being attached to you. you’re on the couch? he’s pressed against your side. you’re cooking? his chin is on your shoulder. you’re brushing your teeth? he’s in the doorway just running his fuckass mouth or just watching.

you’ll just be existing and suddenly he’s wrapped around you from behind, chin on your shoulder, talking bout sum “you smell nice.” you are literally wearing a shirt you haven’t washed in two days.

but then there are also the nights when minho comes home with blood on his sleeve, his jaw, and you’re already in the bathroom, dry heaving.

you’ve thrown up more in the last few months than your entire life.

minho comforts you after those, rubbing your arm while you’re still dying around, but only after he cleaned himself up.

you’re their soft thing. they don’t shove reality in your face. not on purpose.

also, you leave the house? you will see at least one of them.

jeongin leaning against a wall: “wow, what are the odds?” you followed me, you freak. seungmin will “coincidentally” be at the café you go to. han once tried to follow you subtly and walked directly into a street sign. when you heard the clang, you turned around and he waved from the ground.

or when you’re at home, in the kitchen, and your door opens(you don’t remember unlocking it), an you just hear:

“BABY— oh shit sorry— YOU— HI—”

changbin and felix come in, felix trips over nothing. nothing. just air. slams into the wall. han follows and hits the same wall. same spot.

changbin is already hugging you from behind while you’re holding a boiling pot, saying “missed youuuu.”

same people who don’t feel things the way normal people do btw. same people who find brutal fun in absolutely ripping people apart btw. guilt? meh. fear? rare. empathy? not much. y/n? OMG HI Y/NNNN!!!!

they absolutely let you in on their lives though, no matter how much you want to keep them from yours. like, they would let you check their phones all times. they don’t have anything to keep from you, even if you were to see pornhub open, they wouldn’t mind. (well, some of them wouldn’t, and the others just wouldn’t have it open obvi) once while jeongin helped you make food and his hands were dirty, he asked you to read their group chat out loud for him. what you saw was changbin sending memes, seungmin the only one actually enjoying them, the others talking about where will they murder who the next time, and felix saying “wait what are we doing again”

they are brutally serious about what will they bring and for what, they’re GOOD at what they do, but then felix will send a voice message like: “GUYS I FORGOT MY WALLET DO WE NEED THAT” and the entire operation derails for ten minutes.

they are terrifying when murdering. they are absolute clowns before and after. there was one time they were gone longer than usual. you were pacing, trying not to think of the worst, when you finally got a text from changbin.

“delayed. han locked the keys in the car.”

you stared at the message.

they are serial killers. and your boys, unfortunately. because their emotional range used to be: irritation, boredom, thrill.

now it’s: you, and everything else.

changbin gets visibly anxious if you don’t text back. minho gets quiet and restless if you’ve had a bad day. seungmin picks fights with strangers online if you’re sad, which actually has nothing to do with you being sad so why did i even say it.

their killer selves bleed into weird places. chan likes to have a hand on your back in public so he can protect you if anything happens. hyunjin the same, just with his hand lower. it sometimes goes into a sneaky ass touch that you don’t really realize. seungmin clocks every person who looks at you too long.

you once teased them about it. “what, you think someone’s gonna kidnap me?”

eight immediate, overlapping answers:

“yes.”

“obviously.”

“people are awful.”

“we would kill them.”

you were speechless.

and what really tells most about these boys, is how they’re the happiest after sliming someone out. not just because of what they did, but also because they’re back. with you.

they sprawl all over your living room, loud and dumb and arguing like they didn’t just end someone’s entire existence. the disconnect is horrifying if you stare at it too long. so you don’t. you focus on han trying to open a soda and spraying himself. felix laughing so hard he falls off the couch. jeongin sliding over to press a kiss to your temple.

when they leave you alone though, when it’s just them, could be just hanging out or killing people, they… god, they’re just boys.

felix forgot why they’re there halfway through the plan explanation. han brought snacks. “thought we’d get hungry.” they are parked behind an abandoned building at midnight and this man has string cheese.

those two are brutal. like, cutting people up, they can do that, no, they’re good at that, but when they open their mouths… imagine hyunjin closing his eyes, chan pinching the bridge of his nose, and seungmin grinning at the bullshit they said. he’d also nudge minho or chan during serious moments just to see them get irritated. minho does not laugh. minho is all business.

jeongin, meanwhile, is talking. he should not be talking. he’s supposed to be intimidating, and changbin is the only one actually paying attention to the shit he’s saying.

half their operations would go smoother if felix and han had supervision.

once, han tripped over absolutely nothing during a very serious moment and just laid there for a second.

“okay but what the fuck was that.” seungmin whispered.

han, from the floor: “i don’t know.“

felix once got distracted by a cat mid cutting some random woman to pieces.

“aww. little guy.”

the woman is not alive anymore. he is trying to pspspsps a stray.

hyunjin threatens to leave them both behind at least twice a week.

chan’s always in on their bullshit though when there isn’t something more important going on. c’mon, he loves them so much. he supports their dumb little worlds.

they love hurting each other. i mean play fights and also playful little mean words. “felix, you have the situational awareness of a decorative pillow.” “thanks, man.”

han once walked into a door frame so hard everyone stopped what they were doing.

beat of silence.

seungmin: “natural selection is trying.”

but the second anything actually goes wrong? they close in. one of them gets hurt, even minor? yeah fucking around is over. priority shift.

sometimes they sit on the hood of some van after, passing a drink around, shoes dusty, clothes changed, the night like nothing happened.

felix kicks his feet. han leans back too far and almost eats shit. jeongin’s talking about a song stuck in his head, or you, who’s also stuck in his head. seungmin is arguing, just arguing. changbin is laughing too loud. minho smiles a lot more than he does in public. chan is actually joking with them, so is hyunjin if they give him enough to drink.

they’re not evil every second. they’re not always killers. they’re boys. dudes. friends. a tight ride or die circle.

who just happen to believe the solution to their lack of feelings is getting it by disgustingly murdering people.

uuuh wait lemme tell one time when they killed some guy. just so you know how that looks like.

they kill on different locations, actually. the one where they chased you wasn’t hyunjin’s actual place, of course, and now that’s not where they are. it’s a warehouse, typical killing place.

there’s a guy tied to a metal chair in the middle of the room, wrists bound, ankles strapped, breathing fast in that shallow, panicked way. y’know like in movies. he looks rough. sweaty. eyes darting between eight grown men who are, unfortunately for him, not behaving like the cinematic, silent assassins he probably expected.

chan is standing a few feet away, sleeves rolled up(woof woof bark bark grgrgr fuck yes), calm, focused energy coming off him. he looks strict but deep down he’s jumping around from joy, because, like, life’s good right now. he has a pretty girl at home waiting for them. and he also has a guy to torture to death! could it be better?

hyunjin is further back, arms crossed, eyes locked on the guy. god, he’s so pretty, how can he be so terrifying? at least he fucks good. which you don’t know yet, but you eventually will. if it’s up to me, you will.

and jeongin is sitting on a folding table, legs swinging, on his phone.

“okay.” he says, not looking up. “y/n says we have chicken, pasta, or that soup we like. we need to vote.”

the tied up guy blinks.

felix, who is crouched nearby rummaging through a duffel bag that absolutely does not contain sports equipment, gasps. “SOUP.”

han nods seriously. “soup.”

chan doesn’t look away from the guy, gaze dead serious. “soup’s fine with me.”

The man in the chair twists, ropes creaking. “what the fuck??”

seungmin, who is leaning against a wall, phone to his ear, raises one finger at him without looking. “yeah, grandma, i ate. no, vegetables too. … because i’m an adult, that’s why.”

han and felix crouch down in front of the guy like they’re examining a weird bug. they like examining weird bugs.

han tilts his head. “he looks different from the picture.”

“that’s because he’s scared.” felix says wisely.

“ohhhh.” a beat. then han leans closer. “do you feel scared?”

the guy tries to spit at him. misses.

felix recoils. “dude! that’s so gross! we’re indoors!”

han wipes his cheek with his sleeve. “that was uncalled for, man. we haven’t even started.”

“no, grandma, i ate. no, not junk—” seungmin kicks the tied guy’s chair casually when the dude tries to speak, sending it rocking. “—i said i ATE.”

the guy yelps as the chair thuds back down.

“sorry, grandma. some dude is being rude.”

pause.

“no, not you. love you.”

“dinner vote update.” jeongin continues, squinting at the screen. “y/n says if we don’t pick in two minutes, we’re getting whatever’s easiest.”

“chicken.” minho says immediately, pulling on gloves.

“soup.” felix repeats stubbornly.

han looks at the tied guy. “you a soup guy?”

“what the fuck.” the guy mumbles.

seungmin, still on the phone: “grandma, hold on.” he covers the mic. “say one more thing and i’m pushing you into a wall.”

the guy shuts up.

seungmin goes back to the phone. “yeah, sorry. no, nothing is wrong with your phone. yes, i’ll show you again how to send me pictures.”

chan finally steps forward to the guy. “okay. we’re aligned on who he is, what he did, evidence confirmed, timeline clear.” yeah, they like knowing who they kill. why they found you so fast after you escaped is also because they knew way more about you than you would’ve ever thought. so what’s the evidence and what he did part about, you will ask. well, this guy isn’t a good guy. (any crime you want, put it on him) and when they have a criminal, they love rubbing all his past crimes in his face.

chan looks at the others. “any objections?”

felix raises his hand. “i don’t want garlic bread with the soup now.”

“that’s not—” chan stops himself. breathes. “noted. irrelevant. sit down.”

seungmin pushes off the wall and circles behind the chair, knife in the hand that doesn’t have the phone.

“yeah, grandma, i took my vitamins.” he says sweetly. sweetly. while nudging the chair with his foot so it screeches across the concrete and the guy nearly tips over. “no, i’m wearing a jacket.”

the guy gasps as the chair jerks.

seungmin covers the phone speaker. “shut up.” then he turns slightly away, uncovering it. “sorry, grandma. yeah, love you too. okay. okay. bye.”

he hangs up and pockets the phone, then immediately kicks one of the chair legs.

“every time you talk i lose a year off my life.” he says.

hyunjin is standing off to the side, quiet, watching. he hasn’t said much, but every time the captive’s eyes dart toward the door, hyunjin’s head tilts just slightly.

don’t.

okay. cool. message received.

while minho is still fucking around with laying things out on the table, felix wanders over, and picks something up. “is this the sharp one?”

“yes.” minho says flatly.

felix immediately puts it back down. “okay! just checking!”

jeongin looks up from his phone. “oh, she said we’re not allowed chicken and soup.”

a collective groan fills the room.

minho, without looking up, says: “say both anyway.”

“THANK you.” jeongin says, typing furiously.

the guy in the chair tips his head back, groaning. “fuckers.”

changbin tilts his head. “you don’t eat?”

jeongin hops off the table. “okay focus, chicken or soup, final vote, because i’m starving.”

“SOUP.” felix and han shout together.

“chicken.” minho and chan say at the same time.

changbin looks torn. “soup… with chicken?”

seungmin shrugs. “i eat anything.”

all eyes slowly turn to hyunjin. he doesn’t look at them, just at the man in the chair. “whatever y/n makes.” he says.

jeongin hums and starts typing.

seungmin kicks the chair again, harder this time.

“okay.” chan says, clapping once. “enough. we’re drifting.”

minho steps forward, calm, prepared. unc has so much aura that changbin instinctively moves aside.

jeongin types one last message. “soup it is.” he announces. “y/n said you all are banned from voting next time.”

the guy takes a breath, sensing that he’s getting closer to death. “please, i— i’ll leave. i’ll disappear. you don’t have to—”

seungmin tips the chair back just a little. not enough to drop him. just enough to make his stomach fall.

“careful.” changbin says gently. “we don’t want him passing out yet.”

“YET?!” the guy yells.

jeongin snorts.

changbin stretches. “okay. let’s wrap this up. i’m hungry.”

minho nods once, taking one from all those weapons. hyunjin pushes off the wall, stepping forward too, presence swallowing the room. god, he’s too beautiful to be this heartless. seungmin flips his knife in his hand, bored again now that grandma’s off the line.

jeongin looks up again. “WAIT.”

everyone pauses.

“y/n says we are NOT allowed to come back bloody again.”

hyunjin takes his jacket off. “we won’t.”

and the last thing the tied guy hears before the boys close in, weapons in hand, is jeongin saying “okay but if we’re late, we’re dead.”

okay. they finished killing the guy. they took brutal pleasure in it of course, but let’s not discuss that now. now, they’re in the bathroom. not yours, luckily, it could be at one of their places, doesn’t matter really. what matters now is that the bathroom is not built for eight men.

the mirror is fogged, the counter is soaked, the floor has that damp humidity, and the air smells like soap desperately trying to fight for its life.

the shower is already running. hyunjin is in there, back to the curtain, water running pink. behind the curtain, they just hear him exhale once, long. otherwise he’s quiet, like he’s scrubbing paint off instead of… y’know.

chan is at the sink, sleeves pushed up, scrubbing his hands like he’s about to perform surgery instead of having just brutally murdered a guy. he’s got that focused, mildly annoyed look. it looks adorable tbh.

felix is also at the sink. with a toothbrush, brushing his teeth. you already know. brushing human remains out of his teeth. he’s the only one in the group who enjoys cannibalism. even the others are disgusted by that, and felix is brushing his teeth like he just had garlic bread, not… oh my god.

“bro.” seungmin says, watching him in the mirror. “every time. every time you have to do this.” he’s talking about the cannibalism. as i said, the others don’t tolerate it that much. they draw the line at some point too. BUT at least they make the effort to check on the victim’s health before they let felix eat from them. they don’t want him to die, obvi.

felix talks around the toothbrush. “mmmff need ff be thorough.”

chan sighs so deeply it could power a wind turbine.

han leans against the counter beside felix, watching with genuine curiosity. “do you use different toothpaste after, or—”

“STOP.” jeongin says, holding up a hand. “i’m fine with anything, but… this.”

felix spits into the sink, offended. “you guys are so judgmental.”

oh felix. sweetie. you are disgusting.

he grins at his reflection anyway, already thinking about what will he say to you when he gets back.

changbin is half undressed already, shirt gone, jeans unbuttoned, carefully dabbing at a spot on his collarbone with a washcloth. “she’d yell if she saw this.” he says.

“yeah.” jeongin replies. “but like, in a cute way.”

“she’d make that face.” felix adds before putting the toothbrush back into his mouth.

they all know the face. that scrunched, horrified expression.

there’s a weird collective quiet for half a second, which is brutally hilarious if you think about it with the right mindset.

then han elbows felix. “you got some in your hair.”

felix freezes. “ffwfhere.”

han just slowly gestures at his entire head.

minho is wiping down his arms, already in fresh pants, hair damp from the sink. “you’re disgusting.” he tells felix, not even looking at him.

felix gives a thumbs up with toothpaste foam on his chin.

jeongin grabs his phone again, hands wet, shirtless. smiles a little. “she said drive safe.”

changbin presses a hand over his heart then makes a dying noise.

the bathroom is fogging up fast. everyone’s talking over each other. towels are being stolen mid use. for an example, changbin reaches for one and jeongin snatches it first.

“bro.”

“finders keepers.”

“that was mine!”

they both raise their fists. slowly lower it, sensing that they don’t really have enough space to fight for it right now.

felix, still brushing his teeth, suddenly starts undressing. kicks off his shoes, yanks his shirt over his head one handed, toothbrush still jammed in his mouth, then holds the toothbrush between his teeth to undo his pants and pull down his underwear.

then he just… grabs the shower curtain. slides it open.

hyunjin is mid hair rinse.

they make eye contact.

felix, toothbrush still in, goes: “hey bwo.”

“hi.”

felix steps in under the spray. “bwaher’s nwife.” (water’s nice, if anyone can’t read it)

“because it’s hot. i made it hot.”

“hwanks fow thinhing of me.” (thanks for thinking of me)

hyunjin exhales slowly through his nose, but shifts slightly so felix can fit under the spray “you’re dripping toothpaste.”

felix spits expertly into the drain.

meanwhile outside the curtain, when chan says “okay. towels go on the rack, not the floor.”, a towel immediately hits the floor. he closes his eyes.

han is staring at himself in the mirror, turning his head side to side. “do i have something on my ear?”

minho walks past, towel over his shoulder, glances once. “yeah.”

han squints harder at his reflection. “where?”

minho grabs a wet cloth, wipes it off in one fucking swipe, keeps moving.

han smiles. “thanks, man.”

seungmin is perched on the edge of the counter, cleaning under his nails with concerning focus. he wouldn’t want to put bloody fingers in you anyway WHO SAID THAT

“she’s gonna be awake?” he asks.

jeongin shrugs, scribbling his shoulder with a cloth. “probably. she always waits up if we’re late.”

in the shower, felix is talking over the water. “I THINK SHE LIKES IT WHEN WE ALL COME OVER AT ONCE.”

hyunjin rinses his hair. “you don’t need to yell. also she doesn’t.”

felix tilts his head back into the spray. “YOU THINK SHE KNOWS—”

“dude, my ear. yes, she does.” hyunjin says.

“oh.”

changbin is now sitting on the closed toilet lid, hugging a towel around his shoulders, listening to the sounds coming from inside the shower.

“stop moving, you’re splashing.”

“you’re splashing!”

felix’s toothbrush flies out of the shower.

han is trying to wash something off his sleeve in the sink and somehow splashes water directly into his own face. he sputters.

then felix slips inside the shower, just a little skid, but he yelps like he’s been shot.

han screams in sympathy. changbin nearly tackles the sink. seungmin is laughing at him. minho makes eye contact with chan in the mirror and they both shake their heads. jeongin doesn’t even look up from his phone.

hyunjin grabs the back of felix’s arm automatically, steadying him without looking.

“feet.” hyunjin says calmly.

“right.” felix replies.

seungmin looks back down at his phone. “she said… wait i cannot read this. she said we better not track anything into the apartment later.”

collective nod. that is a rule.

chagbin is wiping down his arms. “we won’t. last time was an accident.”

“you shook your jacket like a dog.” minho mumbles.

“i forgot!”

jeongin wipes the mirror with his palm and looks at himself again.

felix peeks out from the curtain. “do we have mouthwash?”

“use the blue one.” chan says.

“there’s a green one.”

“that’s not mouthwash, that’s floor cleaner.”

felix nods. “so that’s why it tasted weird.”

OH MY GOD.

jeongin snorts into his hand, then hits seungmin’s shoulder, who’s shaking holding back laughter.

water shuts off. hyunjin steps out, towel around his shoulders, already mentally somewhere else. with you, by the way. felix stays in, humming, absolutely unbothered.

changbin tosses hyunjin a clean shirt, who catches it without looking.

the boys bump into each other, argue over towels, steal each other’s deodorant, shove each other away from the sink, seungmin is flicking water at jeongin just to be annoying, changbin trying to braid han’s damp hair, complain about water temperature like they didn’t just end a life two hours ago. boy shit. just… with a higher body count and significantly worse hobbies. gross assholes.

and late at night, you can hear your front door opening, the distinct sound of too many male voices talking over each other, shoes, someone laughing way too hard at something that absolutely wasn’t that funny.

you’re already walking down the hallway, ready to say something responsible like take your shoes off or don’t touch anything. god, you can never get used to it when all eight come over.

you open your mouth, and you don’t get a word out, because felix is the first one in your space, big grin, hands landing on your shoulders, and before you can even process it he leans down and presses a loud kiss to your cheek.

“hi!”

you squint. “you—”

hyunjin is right behind him, two fingers coming up to pinch your cheek lightly. god, he loves you.

chan gives your shoulder a firm pat. “good to see you.”

the second felix pulls away, changbin collides with you. full body hug, arms around you, chin nearly knocking your temple. “we missed you.”

“you were gone for like four hours—”

jeongin’s arm slides around your shoulders from the other side, pulling you into the side of him. “hey, pretty.”

CAN THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND. yea clearly no, seungmin reaches as he passes and tugs your hair, then starts talking bout some “miss us or what?” asshole.

minho just gives you a one armed half hug as he passes, brief squeeze at your side. seems less than the others, but actually means a lot more.

when they come off you and walk past you, you stand there, in the hallway, having just been affection assaulted by eight grown men who absolutely have their own homes. but are currently in yours, more specifically in your kitchen. said hi to you and went there IMMEDIATELY.

“OOOH you made stuff.” comes from felix.

“yeah i do that.” you say, following them, seeing seungmin with a spoon already, reaching into the pot. “use a plate!”

changbin is leaning against the counter, looking at you. “you cooked a lot.”

then felix drops a lid on the floor.

“PICK IT UP.”

“ON IT.” he says, already crouching, bumping into han who is trying to open a cabinet that is very clearly not where the plates are. they both fall.

cabinets opening. fridge door wide. someone clanking a plate. someone else already chewing.

“long day?” chan asks you, like he didn’t just invade your home with a small army.

“you tell me. you’re the ones who—”

jeongin cuts in, mouth full from a spoonful of food one of them recently showed into his mouth. “okay but listen, tonight? we were so good. i’d easily give it a nine out of ten.” then he swings an arm around you.

you hold up a hand. “i don’t want to hear whatever the fuck you did.”

changbin is at the fridge now, pulling out drinks, handing them to hyunjin. “she doesn’t wanna hear the details.” he says gently.

“fine.” seungmin says. “but just know it was impressive.”

“UNCLEAR HOW THAT HELPS ME.” you try to step away from jeongin, who steps with you. “personal space.” you say.

“denied.”

seungmin walks past, plate in hand, and bumps your hip with his on purpose. “move, shorty.”

you are not that short. he just enjoys provoking you.

chan pulls plates from your cabinet like he knows where everything is. because he does. why does he know where everything is. he gives a plate to jeongin, who finally comes off of you, deciding that food is more important.

han is opening drawers. “where do the big spoons live again?”

“THE SAME PLACE THEY’VE LIVED FOR MONTHS.”

“right, right, the stabby drawer.”

“that is not what it’s called!”

then he walks past holding three spoons for no reason.

“why do you have those?” you ask.

“in case.”

“in case of WHAT.”

you’re standing there, hands on your hips, fully prepared to be done with all of them, when suddenly there’s an arm around your middle. it’s hyunjin. he pulls you slightly back against him. someone, you don’t even see who, hands him a plate without a word. he takes it. still doesn’t move his arm. multitasking king.

you look up at him. “you could go sit.”

he shrugs. “i’m fine.”

meanwhile the others crowd your kitchen island, plates in hand, talking over each other. felix is mid story, acting something out.

“and then he goes—” he makes a dramatic face “—and hyunjin just looks at him like THIS—” he tries to copy hyunjin’s expression. he can’t. he looks horrible now.

seungmin dies laughing.

hyunjin’s arm tightens just slightly, thumb brushing once against your side.

chan finishes first, sets his plate down, and looks at you. “thank you, y/n.”

you’re about to answer him, but then you look past him, and felix is licking sauce off his thumb. you point to him instead. “don’t.”

he freezes. slowly wipes his hand on a napkin.

hyunjin finally speaks near your ear, low. “we didn’t bring anything in. did you see?”

“yeah.” you nod. “good job.”

his chin brushes the top of your head briefly. almost a little kiss.

animals. they have their own apartments. their own lives. but every time, they end up here. eating your food. touching you. arguing. playing.

and oh, if they weren’t violently, irreparably, cosmically fucked in the head, it would actually be unfair.

because they are stupidly beautiful.

maybe felix is the worst, because he doesn’t even know. i mean, he’s confident with himself, but is not smart enough to actually think about if he’s good looking or not. he can decide if other people are hot, he thinks he’s hot, but he’s not aware of how striking his looks actually are.

and when you go out, he always insists on coming with you. god, he doesn’t even realize that everyone has to double take when he passes. he doesn’t know, he just lives his thoughtless little life in public. like, you say you’re heading out and he’s already grabbing his jacket.

“i’ll come.”

“you don’t even know where i’m going.”

“i like outside.”

that’s his entire reasoning. and somehow it works, you let him come with you. and he’s… a pretty good accessory, we can admit that. he walks beside you, hands in the pockets of a jacket that costs more than your monthly rent. he’s so effortlessly beautiful, and he dresses good. maybe that’s where all his intelligence went, fashion. that’s proven by how strangers glance. twice. thrice.

he doesn’t notice. he’s too busy smiling at you, watching you, that resulting him in walking into things repeatedly. unless he’s carrying your bags, then he’s careful with them so your things don’t get hurt. and he always carries them. not in the try hard way, he doesn’t even process the movies he watches so he can’t take it from those. he just genuinely wants to do it for you.

perfect man behavior. disqualified only by the… you know. you forget, sometimes. you really do.

after doing the whatever you went out for, you decide to sit at a café. you sit across from each other, late afternoon. it’s nice. he looks insane sitting there, expensive clothes, gentle little face like he’s not a fucking murderer. and a cannibal. but you don’t know that yet. yet. you’re about to, though.

he orders first. doesn’t even look at the price. then orders for you, but checks first.

“you still like the caramel one, right?”

you blink. “yeah.”

“cool.”

he pays before you can even reach for your wallet. it would be romantic if you didn’t know what he does on weekends.

you watch him across the table, sunlight through the window catching in his hair, sleeves pushed up, fingers long and clean and pretty, stirring his drink slowly. it’s actually stupid. stupider than him, which is a big word.

“what?” he asks sweetly, curiously, realizing you’ve been squinting at him for a while now.

“you’re annoyingly pretty.”

he blinks. then smiles, shy and pleased in a way that does something violent to your heart. “thanks.”

but also, you’ve been sitting on a question for days. weeks, maybe. it’s been rattling in your head ever since… flashback timeeeee!!

you were in your kitchen, grabbing water. you didn’t mean to eavesdrop, you swear on hyunjin’s life, but you overheard changbin and chan anyway.

changbin sighed. “dude, it’s okay that he eats people, but talking with his mouth full? i swear last time some of it got on me.”

chan’s voice was next. “felix… lacks the feeling of ‘too much’. he doesn’t really sense that we don’t want to see it. that’s different.”

changbin snorted. “yeah, well, try telling him that.”

you froze, glass in hand.

chan sighed. “it’s not like he hunts for that. it’s just… sometimes. let him have it. look away if you have to.”

“still weird.” changbin said, but not judgmental.

flashback ends. in front of you, felix is happily eating cake. sometimes drinking his little coffee. staring at nothing for a second, then at you, then away. god. he’d be perfect. perfect. and then your brain connects dots you’ve been aggressively ignoring. the teeth brushing. the comments. the way the others react.

you narrow your eyes. “…felix.”

“yeah?”

you lower your voice. “there’s something i’ve been meaning to ask.”

he leans forward immediately, attentive. “it’s okay if it’s weird.”

okay. you hesitate. then “you don’t… eat people, right?”

“oh. yeah, i do.” he says it immediately. effortlessly. fork goes to his mouth right after.

you stare. “i’m sorry— what?”

he swallows. wipes his mouth. “i eat people sometimes.” said with brutal confidence. he looks at you, eyes big and no brain behind them, concerned now. “you didn’t know?”

“i— uh—“

“are you mad?”

“i don’t know what i am!”

he puts his elbows on the table like this is a serious talk. “i don’t do it all the time.” wow. praise for you. “i just like the taste. and crave it when i see a dead body. and i’m like huh. okay.”

“…that’s your internal thought process?”

he shrugs. “i don’t think a lot before stuff.”

you know.

he looks genuinely worried now. “i brush my teeth after.”

“i have seen.”

“and i don’t, like, keep any remains after. that’d be weird.”

“THAT’S where you draw the line???”

he nods seriously. “yeah. i also wanted to eat from the mailman but you said no hurting him so i didn’t.”

you drop your face into your hands.

across from you sits the physical blueprint of a perfect boyfriend. gentle. beautiful. has money. pays for your coffee. carries your bag.

cannibal.

he reaches across the table and pokes your wrist gently. “you okay?”

“no, felix, i am not okay, you just casually confirmed the most insane thing i’ve ever heard.”

he tilts his head. “but you asked.”

“…but i asked.”

he shrugs a little, sheepish, smiling.

you lean back. “i heard changbin and chan talking about it, that’s where i know it from. i didn’t mean to, it just… it clicked. figured i’d ask about it.”

“oh.” he nods. “yeah, they worry about it.”

“…i can see why.”

he shrugs. “i don’t know. i just like the texture.”

you make a noise “felix. baby, please. i’m still drinking.”

“oh. sorry.” he sits back, watching you like you’re the confusing one. “i didn’t think it was a huge deal.” he admits. “the others think it’s gross but they think lots of stuff i do is gross.”

“they are correct for once.”

he smiles, sheepish, not offended at all. “okay.”

you shake your head. “you would be the perfect man.”

he perks up. “yeah?”

“yeah. you’re an angel.”

he beams. “thank you.”

“and then this.”

he thinks about it. “…yeah.”

NO DEFENSE. NO SHAME.

you both sit there. then he gently nudges the cake toward you.

“you want the rest?”

you stare at it. then at him. then at the cake. then back at him. then you wordlessly slide the cake over to yourself, leaning back in your chair, staring at him.

god, he’s beautiful. he has that himbo blankness behind his gaze like the lights are on but the thoughts are optional. something is deeply, fundamentally wrong with this man. if you haven’t realized that yet.

he smiles at you, warm, oblivious. “you still wanna hang out after this?”

you exhale slowly. “unfortunately, yes.”

his smile widens, pure sunshine, no idea that sentence should have hurt. “cool.”

and you sit there, across from the most confusingly perfect, brutally defective man alive, wondering how the universe had the audacity to make him look like that and think like… that. tragic. honestly.

and once one of them casually drops “oh yeah btw i’m a cannibal sometimes” over coffee, apparently the rest of them take that as a green light. you don’t notice it at first. then one day you wake up and realize you are, somehow, in the “we can be honest about our worst habits” stage of a relationship with eight serial killers.

you’re at home, sitting on the couch, half watching a show while changbin is basically folded into your side, head in your lap, arm around your waist, fully comfortable. you’re playing with his hair absentmindedly.

then he says, casually: “i like following people.”

you pause. “you mean like… online?”

“no.” he says, smiling up at you. “in real life.”

you blink. “changbin.”

“yeah?”

“that is called stalking.”

he considers this. “i don’t do it in a scary way.”

“THERE IS NO NON SCARY WAY.”

he props himself up on his elbows, earnest. “i just get curious where they go. like, what their routine is. it’s interesting.”

you stare at him. he’s smiling ear to ear.

he kisses your wrist. “but i don’t follow you. anymore. that’d be weird.”

OH GOOD. THANK YOU FOR DRAWING THAT LINE.

next, you and jeongin are walking together, his arm loosely around your shoulders, and he’s in a good mood, talking lots.

“…so yeah, i have three fake identities.”

“you have what.” you whisper.

“three. well. two and a half. one’s kind of retired.”

“for WHAT PURPOSE.”

he shrugs. “so i’m not caught. like, one of me is really into fitness. one’s into crypto. one’s just some guy with a boat.”

“…you have a boat?”

“oh, no, not at all.”

you stare at him.

he smiles and kisses your temple. “you know the real me though.”

you don’t know whether to feel special or deeply unsettled.

one evening han is in your lap(who tf cares anymore), arms around your neck, chin on your shoulder. he is heavy.

“i like going alone sometimes.” he says quietly.

you blink. “alone where.”

“murder stuff.”

you tilt your head to see his face. he looks almost shy.

“it’s easier. less noise. i can think.”

YOU. CAN. THINK???

“i thought you liked being with the others.” you say carefully, keeping your earlier thought to yourself.

“i do.” he nods. “but sometimes i wanna see if i can do it myself.”

this man once got stuck in a revolving door.

you stare at him, arms still around your neck, holding you.

you pat his back slowly.

hyunjin has a habit of having his face way too close to yours. smiling, eyes shining, he can’t keep that distance. then manages to say something so brutally creepy that it ruins the whole vibe. shit like “when you sleep, you breathe calmer. that calms me down too.”

you always look at him for a while before answering to them. “that’s not romantic, hyunjin, that’s serial killer autism.”

he smiles a little.

seungmin is worse because he knows he’s bad and still says shit like he’s proud. you’re sitting on the floor, back against the couch. he’s next to you, shoulder to shoulder.

“i like pushing people’s buttons.” he says.

“i’ve noticed.”

“no, like… strategically. i can tell exactly what makes someone insecure in, like, two minutes.”

“and you do what with this information?”

“depends if i like them.”

you narrow your eyes. “and me?”

he bumps his shoulder into yours, gentle. “i don’t use it on you.”

then once, you’re in the kitchen late with minho. he’s drying dishes.

“i don’t sleep much.” he says when the conversation goes to that.

“i know.”

“no, like. ever.”

you look at him. “that’s not healthy.”

“i know.” he shrugs. “but it’s fine.”

that one’s not gross, that’s sad.

when you’re out shopping again, chan is carrying bags. you pass a hardware store. he doesn’t slow down, but you see his eyes flick to the window.

“i hate cheap materials.” he says.

you look at him. “you say that way too casually.”

he looks back, calm.

you both just keep walking.

by the end of the week, you’re sitting there thinking: wow. gross. one kills alone, kills in general. the other uses top quality shit to do the same. then light stalking hobby. identity fraud for fun. psychological torture as a pasttime. staring problem. doesn’t sleep. cannibalism.

but it means a lot when they tell you those. this is trust for them. this is vulnerability. this is, in their language, intimacy.

you’re horrified. concerned. touched, too.

they are, objectively, terrifying men. such yearners tho. it’s humiliating for them, honestly.

and it’s not just the sweeter ones anymore. chan started slipping too, and that one surprised everyone. because… c’mon we all know how he is.

now? you sit on the couch and suddenly his hand is on the backrest behind your shoulders. then it slides down, rests lightly against your arm. casual. but not.

he adjust your hair out of your face mid conversation. thumb brushing your temple for half a second too long. he pretends he doesn’t notice when he does it. everyone else does, though. seungmin once went “brooooo” under his breath and chan told him to shut the fuck up without looking away from you.

hyunjin is manlier with it. his hand at your waist feels protective, not needy. when he pulls you away from the street, from a corner, from anything, it’s firm. this fucker knows what he’s doing.

the others are just outright pathetic bro i won’t even make anything up. they’re hopeless. changbin melts if you lean into him even slightly. jeongin gets flustered if you hold his gaze too long. han and felix cannot stop smiling when you talk to them. minho looks fucking terrifying when he’s behind you, but he does the death stare at everyone with a good intention. well, good intention towards you. seungmin keeps tripping you, because to him even that is physical touch.

and… they started to slowly realize that they might like you. that this isn’t normal friendship. that the way their stomach flips when you smile isn’t platonic. that the possessiveness, the softness, the constant pull toward you, it’s not just finding a new person who loves them the way they are. it’s want. well, some of them realized it. we all know how far han’s and felix’s brain capacity goes.

one night they’re at some dim, empty place, killing done, air heavy. they’re quiet, breathing. the victim made them run.

felix is crouched next to the body, doing his gross little side quest. which is eating another human. the others really try to close the sound out but they don’t want to leave him alone, that’s why they don’t just leave.

suddenly he looks up mid… whatever the fuck, holding… some part of a human. like insides, you can’t even tell, god there’s so much blood. it’s in his HAIR, covering his pretty little face. “do you think she’d like this?”

all heads snap toward him.

seungmin: “felix.”

chan: “no.”

jeongin, horrified: “put it DOWN.”

han squints. “that’s not a gift.”

changbin actually gags. “dude.”

hyunjin actually covers his face with his hands. “no.”

minho shakes his head, grabbing his water already. “absolutely not.”

felix frowns, confused. “it’s, like… thoughtful?”

“it is not.” jeongin says, horrified. “that is the LEAST thoughtful thing i’ve ever seen. remember when han brought her the hand bouquet? think about that, man.”

hyunjin closes his eyes. “put it down.”

felix looks confused, lowering his hand slightly. “what? i just thought… she likes when we bring stuff back sometimes.”

“that means food.” seungmin says. “normal food. not… that. what— what is that, even?”

felix frowns, glancing between them. “kidney. but i just wanna make her proud.”

changbin rubs his face. “she’s proud when we don’t traumatize her, man.”

“oh.” felix processes that. nods. “okay. that’s good too.”

now they can all sense that this was never friendship shaped. it was always hunger. just not the kind felix has. the kind that makes them check their phones mid kill to see if you texted. the kind that makes them memorize your coffee order but forget their own birthdays. the kind that makes men who don’t feel things… feel.

now. it’s late. like really late, and you’re FINALLY home alone.

then, what you hear from your front door, is BANG BANG BANG BANG. knocking like a fucking police raid, man.

“IT’S ME. OPEN BEFORE I FORGET WHY I’M HERE.” han’s voice comes through the door. who else.

“coming— jesus—” you open the door just in time to watch him almost eat shit on your doorstep. his foot catches on literally nothing. you grab his arm. he crashes into you anyway.

“hi.” he says, way too cheerful for a serial killer, arms immediately wrapping around you. it’s a full, crushing, both arms, face in your shoulder hug.

you laugh, stumbling back a step, closing the door behind him. “jesus, hi, what happened to hello?”

“this is hello.”

alright.

you hug him back automatically. but when you would expect, he doesn’t loosen his grip. he tightens it. his body is going tense, then warm, then… jittery. a weird little breathy giggle escapes him, muffled against your shoulder. he’s vibrating.

“han?” you say carefully.

he squeezes again. you can feel his heart. it’s pounding. fast. not scared-fast. just fast, because you’re here. his breath keeps hitching like he just ran up stairs.

he feels adrenaline, warmth, that dizzy, floaty rush. something is happening inside that empty, sunshine filled skull. he doesn’t have words for it, so he just clings and giggles. kinda giggle that comes when someone’s overwhelmed and doesn’t know why.

“baby?” you murmur.

“i feel weird.” he says into your shoulder, words muffled, plus your little nickname just added to it. “like— like when we run but i didn’t run. and my chest is weird.”

he pulls back. and there’s no dramatic pause that you would normally expect for a scene like this. no eye contact build up and no cinematic slow lean.

he just kisses you.

direct hit.

just goes for it. soft. a little off angle. entirely unplanned. but really, really real.

you freeze for half a second purely out of shock.

he pulls back immediately, but only a little, then he giggles again. then, he kisses you again, a little messy.

okay. okay, you have to admit. it’s cute.

he pulls back again, grinning, cheeks pink.

you stare at him. “…han.”

“yeah?”

“…why did you do that?”

“i dunno.” he thinks. you can see the effort. gears turning through peanut butter. “i just felt like i really really wanted to.”

you stare. “that was a kiss.”

“yeah.” he nods, still holding you by the waist. “i liked it.”

“i did too, but— that’s, like… romantic.”

oh. you can see that he didn’t plan that. he didn’t flirt his way there. he didn’t know what he was doing. his brain just saw “feeling big” and hit the kiss button.

instinct.

he tilts his head. processing. “oh.”

you soften. “did you maybe just… act on feelings without realizing what they were?”

he considers this. “…maybe. i just felt weird. here.” he thumps his chest lightly. “fast. and when i saw you i wanted to do that. wanted it for a while now.”

“…do you think you could have a crush on me?” you keep your voice gentle. easy. “and that’s okay if you do.”

you can see it. the gears turning in his head. slow. sticky with the earlier mentioned peanut butter. fighting for their lives.

“crush means…” he starts.

“you like someone in a not just friends way. you wanna be close. touch them. kiss them. be around them more than usual.”

he looks at you. then at your mouth. then back at you. then his eyes light up, both with realization and relief. “ohhh. that makes sense.” first thing about this guy that makes sense.

you blink. “that makes sense?”

“yeah. i like you the most. and i want to be near you all the time. and when other people stand too close i feel stabby but not in a murder way.”

romantic. somehow.

“yeah.” he says, nodding. “yeah. i think that.”

you smile at him. “okay.”

beat.

“can i kiss you again?”

god.

“yes.”

he doesn’t hesitate, just leans in again, more confident now that he knows this is allowed. now his arms fully slide around you, holding you. this is his way of expressing the pure, overwhelming need for contact his brain doesn’t know how to label.

his arms tighten. one hand slips under the hem of your shirt, on your back, warm, wanting maximum contact. you can feel how innocent the intent is. he just presses closer, forehead bumping yours clumsily before he finds your mouth again. he hums, pleased.

at some point your shirt gets tugged upward in his effort to get closer, fabric bunching as he tries to eliminate the barrier. there’s zero dirty intention behind it, just instinct screaming closer closer closer.

you gently catch his wrists before things go further, laughing softly against his mouth. “okay, hey— slow down.”

he immediately stops, looking at you with big, confused eyes. “did i mess up?”

“no.” you smile. “you’re just… enthusiastic.”

“oh.” he looks relieved. then thoughtful. “i just wanted to be as close as possible.”

you cup his face, thumb brushing his cheek. “i know.”

he leans into your hand immediately. serial killer. currently purring, basically.

“that’s nice.” he says quietly.

you brush your thumb over his cheek. “yeah?”

“yeah. you feel nice.”

“thanks.”

god, he’s cute. it’s actually unfair. pretty face, dark eyes, zero brain activity behind them, just feelings bouncing around.

he’s still wrapped around you when he mumbles a “m’hungry.”

you lean back a little to look at him. “okay, i’ll make you something.”

he nods automatically, then immediately shakes his head. “wait.”

you blink. “wait?”

he looks down between your bodies, then back up at you with the most unbothered expression in human history. “gimme a minute.”

oh. he has a hard on. pffft.

and then he just… stands there. very close. very warm. very aware of himself.

you tilt your head. “…han.”

“don’t rush me.” he says. “and don’t look down.”

you look down.

ooooh okay.

“y/nnn.” he whines. pathetic motherfucker. was swimming in blood just days ago.

you bury your face in his shoulder, laughing. he huffs but his arms tighten, chin resting on top of your head. he rocks you slightly side to side without realizing he’s doing it.

“stop laughing.” he mumbles.

“i’m not laughing at you.”

“you areeeee.”

“okay, a little.”

there’s something stupidly tender about this, just standing there in the quiet, bodies close, waiting.

he peeks down again. “…almost.”

it’s weirdly intimate, just… waiting. no rushing. no awkwardness from him.

“you smell nice.” he says randomly.

“thanks.” you smile.

five seconds of silence.

“…your lips are nice.”

you shove his shoulder lightly. “han.”

he giggles again, the sound muffled as he presses his face into your neck for a second, not even kissing, just existing there. his heart’s still going a little fast. you can feel it through his chest. he has absolutely no map for this. no past experience. no emotional vocabulary beyond “good” “bad” and “hungry.” but his instincts are locked the fuck in.

he pulls back slightly, studies your face again. “you’re not mad?” he asks.

“no.” wrong answer. well, it’s true, but you should be. HE. KILLED. PEOPLE.

“you didn’t hate the kissing?”

“no, han.” you’re hopeless, y/n. utterly in the wrong, and so is he.

“okay good. i’d be sad if you hated it. because i wanna do it more.” direct. honest. zero game.

you run your hands up his arms, slow.

“so…” he says after a moment, thoughtful. “i have a crush.”

“seems like it.”

“and kissing is part of that.”

“yep.”

he nods, satisfied he understands the rules now. “okay. good.” beat. “…can i keep doing it sometimes?”

“…yes.”

“nice.”

yeah. nice.

“…okay.” he announces after a while, nodding to himself. “we’re good.”

you raise a brow. “crisis averted?”

“yep.”

you start to step away, but he doesn’t let go right away. his hands linger at your waist, just for a second longer, because he doesn’t want to disconnect. then he lets go and follows you to the kitchen anyway, holding into your hand.

halfway there he stops again.

you groan. “han—”

“not that!” he says. “i just—” he looks at you, serious, but still so empty in the head. “i like this.”

“standing in my hallway waiting out your boner going down?”

“no.” he squeezes your hand. “you.”

your chest tightens a little. aw. “you just figured out what a crush is ten minutes ago.”

“yeah.” he says, completely unbothered. and off he goes, dragging you toward the kitchen, happy, hungry, brutal serial killer, and still somehow the most clueless creature to ever cross your path,

absolute evil.

absolute baby.

(an: guys it’s important that outside my aus i don’t baby idols!! i’m not that weird i promise, even when i say baby here i’m not completely serious about it. like i don’t mean it in the cringey way where ppl just don’t take idols seriously.)

it sits with you after. the hallway. the kisses. how honest he was, how… himself. and also, a serial killer, zero empathy, passion for hurting people, and he feels like this towards you. that means a lot to you.

meanwhile, the boys are gathered at their new little “let’s kill here” place, scattered around like usual. jeongin’s eating cereal out of a mug because they’re men and god forbid they touch the dishes unless it’s you telling them. but you’re not there, so all the plates stay dirty until one day hyunjin will brutally crash out over it and make them do it like a fucking drill sergeant.

but right now, he’s just talking to chan and minho. changbin is on the floor. jeongin is upside down on the couch, his cereal mug on his slutty little stomach, and his chest is soaked in milk because he’s lifting the spoon from there to his mouth. felix is poking at a bruise on his arm. seungmin is leaning back in a chair that absolutely cannot support that angle.

the door slams open. han bursts in, late, breathless, hoodie half on. “I DID A THING.”

seungmin doesn’t look up. “you found a new way to fall down?”

“no. better.”

“impressive.”

felix perks up immediately. “did you find a big rock.”

han points at him. “close, but no.”

the room goes quiet in that wary, here we go way.

han looks like he’s about to announce he learned how to whistle. which he still can’t do btw. “i totally kissed y/n.”

silence.

chan looks at him. “hm?”

jeongin slowly lowers himself upright. “you what.”

han nods enthusiastically. “mouth.”

seungmin blinks once. twice. “…explain.”

han, proud beyond belief, points at himself. “me. did that.”

changbin sits up straight. “like— on purpose?”

“yeah.”

minho and hyunjin look at each other.

jeongin blinks at him, face blank. “define ‘kissed.’”

“like this.” han says, grabbing felix’s face and loudly smacking a kiss on his cheek as demonstration.

felix lights up. “AWWW.”

han wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “mouth, though. not cheek.”

the room goes deadly still.

“i went over and felt weird and then i hugged her and then i kissed her and then i did it again so we kissed twice and then we talked about crushes and i have one.”

“TWICE.” jeongin repeats.

changbin clutches his chest. “he learned a word.”

minho just stares at the floor. that, that spot he’s looking at? that’s where he want to lay dead. hyunjin looks away, thinking. thinking a lot. chan runs a hand through his hair, listening to the sound of jeongin’s cereal mug hitting the floor.

felix tackles han in a hug. “YOU DID IT!!” he yells, lifting him slightly. they start jumping in place, clinging to each other.

across the room, seungmin stands up very slowly. picks up an empty glass from the table. throws it directly at the wall. it shatters.

“that’s fine.” chan says calmly. “i didn’t like that glass anyway.”

jeongin runs a hand through his hair. “before me, bro.”

“LET’S GOOOO—” felix screams.

jeongin collapses back onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. “i flirted for MONTHS.”

chan pats his shoulder.

felix is still holding han’s face. “i’m so proud of you.”

“thanks.” han says, glowing. “i also learned about crushes.”

“yeah you did, buddy.”

they are absolutely not helping.

han looks around at the tension. he notices hyunjin chewing on his own lip, and it gets the poor little gears in his brain running again. “…are you guys mad.”

“no.”

“yes.”

“shut up.”

“i need air.”

“happy for you.”

“not happy.”

felix squeezes him again. “i’m happy.”

han smiles, relieved. “okay good.” he pauses. “…can i tell her you guys reacted like this?”

“NO.” they all shout.

god, you can feel that deep, ugly jealousy that comes from wanting the same thing and being too fucked in the head to reach for it. and this FUCKASS got it before them.

seungmin sighs, and goes outside. from inside, you can hear “FUUUUUUUCK—” a car alarm goes off somewhere in the distance. “FUCKING—” a metal clang. probably kicked a dumpster.

inside, felix has both hands on han’s shoulders. “i can’t believe you did that without tripping first.”

“i did trip first.”

hyunjin, the only one who doesn’t look like he’s about to chew through drywall, takes a step towards han and puts a hand on his shoulder. “good.” he says. “i’m glad.”

and he means it. which is absolute bullshit because you can see it in his eyes that he’s fucking heartbroken and he doesn’t have that many emotions, but now, he does.

he was first. he knows it.

he feels like someone ripped some of his ribs out. and not even the ribs he could suck himself off without. life is cruel. and let’s face it, feeling this much for a man like him is a big word already.

“you did something i didn’t. that’s on me.” he says.

seungmin’s distant voice from outside: “IT’S BULLSHIT IS WHAT IT IS—”

han beams at him. “thanks, man.”

hyunjin squeezes his shoulder once more, then steps back before his face betrays anything.

jeongin slides off the couch and onto the floor. he curls into himself, arm thrown over his face. “don’t talk to me.” he announces.

baby, nobody was.

chan pinches the bridge of his nose. “you’re gonna get dirty.”

“GOOD.”

all while minho is leaning against the counter, arms crossed, looking at the ceiling. it looks brutally hilarious if you think about it.

changbin plops down beside jeongin on the floor. “i mean… i’m glad she’s happy…”

“but?” minho asks.

“but my chest feels like someone stepped on it.”

“same.” jeongin mumbles into the floor.

the door SLAMS open. seungmin comes back in, hair messy, and… his shirt is ripped down the front like he fought a bear.

“YOU KNOW WHAT.” he shouts. “GOOD FOR YOU.”

“what happened to your shirt?” changbin asks.

“i needed to feel something.”

“great.”

han looks around at all of them, finally sensing the emotional bomb he set off. “…did i do bad?”

changbin is immediately up, hugging him from the side. “no! no, baby, you did great.”

chan looked at han, serious. “do you like her?”

“yes.” no hesitation.

seungmin gestures wildly. “okay cool yeah so DO WE.”

han blinks. “you do?”

“yes, you absolute goldfish.” seungmin throws his hands around. “for months now.”

jeongin lifts his head just enough to point weakly at himself. “i literally changed my cologne.”

they all nod along. hyunjin even mumbles a “yeah.”

han looks between them. processes. “oh! that’s nice.” he’s genuinely so happy.

seungmin crouches down, hands in his hair.

“you’re not threatened??” jeongin cries into the floor.

han shrugs. “no.”

“…why?” minho genuinely looks so fed up. genuinely. he’s ready to flip a table.

han looks confused. “she’s great. of course you guys like her.”

they stare at him. this man has no concept of rivalry. no jealousy. no possessive wiring in that big empty head. okay, this is reasonable though, they don’t really have emotions in general. it’s no surprise that this asshole only feels pure, open affection, now that there are feelings in the picture.

felix crouches next to jeongin. “you wanna be little spoon later?”

“shut up.” jeongin whispers.

seungmin goes into the kitchen. everyone tracks him with their eyes. cabinets slam. something clatters. he comes back thirty seconds later. shirtless.

one hand: bottle. other hand: gun.

he sits down in a chair backwards and just starts drinking straight from the bottle.

felix wanders over to hyunjin and just hugs him from the side. hyunjin stands there, arms at his sides, staring straight ahead.

felix squeezes tighter. “big feelings day.”

“i can tell.”

seungmin snorts into the bottle.

jeongin peeks up from the floor at seungmin. “you good?”

“no.” seungmin says.

“thoughts and prayers.” chan says flatly.

“i’m just really proud of you.” felix says to han meanwhile, still half hugging hyunjin.

seungmin hurls a spoon across the room. it hits the wall. “HE EATS PEOPLE.” he yells.

nobody reacts.

changbin keeps talking to han. “what happened after?”

“we ate.” han tells him. “then we talked. then i slept there.”

seungmin throws the bottle cap this time. “CANNIBAL.”

felix shrugs. “sometimes.”

seungmin looks around like HELLO??? nobody is paying attention to him. this is killing him. minho checks something on his phone. hyunjin checks himself out in his own phone’s camera.

chan gestures toward seungmin. “pass that.”

seungmin turns his head slowly. eyes narrow.

chan continues, hand out. “just a sip, i—”

seungmin leans forward and spits the mouthful of alcohol directly into chan’s open mouth.

dead silence.

chan freezes. processes. swallows.

“…okay.” he says calmly, wiping his mouth. “that’s one way to share.” he says flatly.

“you’re welcome.” seungmin replies, equally calm, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

changbin looks at han again. “so like… was it soft?”

han nods. “yeah. warm.”

jeongin makes a noise.

another object flies from seungmin’s hands. nobody checks what it was.

changbin daps han up. “that’s my guy.”

seungmin points the gun toward the wall and fires. BANG.

jeongin rolls onto his back on the floor, staring at the ceiling. “he kissed her, man.” he says weakly. “with his mouth.”

“yeah.” han says helpfully.

seungmin throws a glass at his head. han dodges purely by accident because he leaned down to scratch his ankle. the glass shatters on the floor.

felix claps. “nice reflexes!”

seungmin fires another shot into the wall.

chan closes his eyes, sighing.

it’s brutally fucking hilarious that seungmin keeps throwing shit and they just don’t gaf. he throws a spoon. nobody reacts. he throws a book. minho catches it and puts it back on the table.

he points at felix again. “YOU EAT HUMANS.”

felix, to hyunjn: “do you like my pink shirt better or the white one?”

“white. obviously.” hyunjin nods.

seungmin throws one last object weakly in their direction. it doesn’t even reach them.

aaaand that’s how he got himself drunk enough to show up at your place the same night. well, at your door. you’re currently in your kitchen when you hear his knocking. no, not knocking. there’s a slow, uneven thud… scrape… thud against your door.

you walk over and open it. and you get a drunk, shirtless seungmin at your door.

“…hi.”

you blink. “you are hammered.”

he nods slowly. “uhum.”

no denying it. respect.

he tries to step forward and immediately trips on absolutely nothing. you grab his arm out of reflex.

“whoa, okay— easy—”

he latches onto you, arms around your shoulders, face buried near your neck. “you smell good.”

there’s a long pause where he just stands there breathing. all that until you push him up, letting him stand there while you close the door after him.

“i heard…” he says, spinning around to face you. “that you and han are MARRIED now.”

you blink. “what??”

“don’t lie to me.” he slurs, pointing in your direction but also slightly at the ceiling. “you and han are… doing stuff. you know. mouth activity.”

you stare at him.

“…you got together.” he whispers.

you shake your head. “no. we kissed yesterday. he was confused.“

“…so you’re not married.”

“no.”

“engaged?”

“NO.”

seungmin stares. processing. “…but you kissed.”

“yes.”

“okay.” he says weakly. “cool. cool cool cool.”

that is not a cool tone.

“…but… not together.” he repeats.

“no.”

“okay. good. because i would’ve had to fight him and he’s weirdly strong.”

“he’d win.”

“yeah.”

beat.

he looks at you again. different now.

“i don’t like it.” he mutters.

“what.”

“this.” he gestures between you and the air. “the chest feeling. it’s dumb.”

“feelings usually are.”

yeah, feelings usually are. he just learned that too. well, he actually learned it when he got to know you, now it just… escalated. got dumber.

he looks around. “so there’s still… a slot.”

you grab the pepper spray off the entry table and hold it up.

he SCREAMS.

yeah. ptsd from you spraying him so many times already.

“OKAY OKAY JESUS CHRIST—” he stumbles backward, hands up like you pulled a gun. “i am peaceful. i am gentle. i am a houseplant.”

you stare. “…you have a gun.”

he looks down at his waistband like he forgot. “…okay.” then he takes the gun out and throws it on the floor.

you lower it, laughing. “you’re such a baby.”

his shoulders drop, seeing that you mean no actual harm, and he looks around. walks to your couch and slumps down on it.

he turns his head toward you, hair falling into his eyes. “come here.”

you cross your arms. “what.”

“cuddle me.”

“magic word?”

“please cuddle me.” he corrects, squinting with effort.

you sigh and sit beside him. he instantly rolls toward you and drops his head into your lap. he’s warm. heavy. ridiculously affectionate for a man who threw a glass at a wall six hours ago.

you look down at him.

he looks up at you.

“hi.” he says again.

you sigh. “hi.”

there’s a bit of silence where he just looks at you. then he pokes your thigh lightly. “so. hypothetically.”

“mm.”

“if a person. a very cool, very attractive person.”

“debatable.”

“shut up. if that person maybe had feelings but was, like, bad at… normal.”

“normal?”

“all of it.”

you hum. “go on.”

“and that person maybe wanted to, i don’t know, kiss you at some point.”

you look down at him, expression calm. “not tonight.” you say gently. “you’re really drunk. but i’m not against it, if that counts.”

his entire, brutal serial killer body relaxes. “okay. that’s fine. i can work with future.” he murmurs. for a while he just breathes there. heavy. slow. drunk but not sloppy now. then he shifts, face turning into your side more, voice muffled. “you’re not mad i came over?”

“you almost got pepper sprayed.”

“yeah but like. be honest.”

you think for a second. “…no. just don’t make it a habit to show up blackout.”

“copy.” he says immediately.

beat.

“…can i live here.”

“no.”

“okay.” a bit of comfortable silence, then: “do you like him?”

you tilt your head. “i like all of you.”

“cop out answer.”

“it’s the truth.”

he sighs.

every day with these assholes is surreal. but right now, you’re happy that they happened to you. his warm weight, his slow breathing, this is fine.

you sit there in the quiet, him draped over you, and you’re weirdly calm. you glance down at him. he’s half asleep already.

“…you’re cute when you’re not breaking furniture.” you mutter.

his mouth curves slightly without opening his eyes.

you let him sleep there. you didn’t move him. didn’t have the heart. also didn’t have the circulation in your leg by morning, but that’s not the point.

and after these, you and han get… all lovely dovely. that’s exactly the best way to say it. imagine it’s valentine’s day, the love of your life just broke up with you, and you see some fuckasses making out right in front of your face. in this scenario, you and han are the making out ones, and the other boys are the fresh singles.

he was already clingy before, but now? bro. he’ll come up behind you, wrap his arms around your middle, and just exist there. just humming a little like a human space heater. or whining. or he’s just pathetic in general, but you let him do it. you caress his head, his little face, whatnot. you two basically act like a couple.

he’s big on face kisses. this brutal serial killer likes giving you little kisses on the face. but the second he leans toward your mouth when the others are around, you put a hand on his face and push him back. “mm. not here.” he accepts this immediately every time. no embarrassment. he’s too dumb to feel it anyway. when it’s just the two of you though? whole different story. he loves kissing you now that he knows it’s allowed.

seungmin changes too, of course. i mean, still an asshole, actually, bigger asshole. but all meanness that used to just exist everywhere is aimed almost entirely at the others.

with you, he’s cuddlier now. but with the boys? mean fuck. like, meaner than before. especially to han. not cruel, not actually hurting him, just constant sabotage. brutally. he keeps using this poor guy’s lack of brains.

you once watched seungmin move han’s shoes to the other side of the room so he’d trip.

han did trip. got up. put the shoes on. “thanks, i was looking for those.”

seungmin looked like he wanted to die.

“why does seungmin keep bumping into me?” han asks once, genuinely confused.

you just pat his arm. “he’s going through something.”

the others are fed. the. fuck. up.

hyunjin especially. i mean what did we expect.

seungmin walks by? suddenly “accidentally” tripped. han gets too sappy with you? back of his head lightly smacked.

“watch your balance.” hyunjin says calmly as seungmin eats floor for the third time that day.

“this is harassment.” seungmin grumbles from the ground.

“get better footing.”

physical fights are more common now, but not in the actual fight way. it’s… boy logic. shoving. headlocks. someone getting dragged off a couch by the ankle. someone crashing into a table.

jeongin has brutal fun with it, always talking while the others are going for blood.

“and seungmin goes DOWN— phenomenal leg sweep from hyunjin, really—”

“shut up.” seungmin snaps, trying to bite hyunjin’s arm.

“using teeth… ow.” jeongin continues.

by the way, he has not stopped flirting. not even slightly. leaning in too close when he talks. fixing your hair that doesn’t need fixing. smiling like he’s got a secret.

“just keeping options open.” he says when chan tells him to knock it off.

“you’re making it difficult for everyone.” chan replies.

“attitude like that is why you’re single.”

changbin is still clingy but in a sad, gentle way. hovers a lot. if you’d ever give him a chance, he’d be so down. without hesitation. tf is bro code. so all he can do now is wait for his chance.

minho just decides to look away and hope it’ll get better. it doesn’t.

felix is just happy love exists in the room at all. he has this… weird feeling when he sees han all over you, but he can’t identify it, so he just lives with it.

and while killing, the only thing supposed to bring them happiness in theory, they’re distracted. arguing. slipping up. fuck. seungmin nearly forgets gloves once. jeongin checks his phone in the middle of something serious because you texted. hyunjin has to physically redirect han who zoned out mid task because he was smiling to himself. sloppy.

a whole group of dangerous, dysfunctional men who can dismantle a situation in minutes… doing this. embarrassing. truly.

if han is near you, he’s touching you now. hand on your arm. chin on your shoulder. fingers hooked in your clothes. his feelings are simple but huge. first time really feeling btw.

and god, those biiig, big eyes? shining when on you.

yeah you let him hit because of those. so what? he’s cute. he was cute the whole time. total virgin btw, so the whole thing was more sweet than hot. he fumbled around with the condom. he was excited. he was a little shy too, but really sincere about everything. obviously all over the moon that he was going to have his first time and he was going to have it with you.

he wasn’t bad. he just needs a few more times to get the hang of it.

hyunjin feels responsibility. loving you automatically means he wants to protect you from the world, including, in some fuuuucked up corner of his mind, from them.

that conflict eats at him.

he wants you close.

he also knows what they are.

when you touch jeongin’s arm absentmindedly while talking? he rides that high for hours. he’ll never say it straight, but he wants you to choose him one day.

felix is just pathetic. he thinks you’re amazing. no complications in his head about it. you’re pretty, you’re nice to him, you laugh at his dumb jokes.

you disturb chan in many ways. you’re always in his mind. always in front of his eyes. always in the conversation. he can’t get rid of you, and he doesn’t want to. he really, really wants a chance too.

minho is almost the only one who didn’t start acting out. changbin, for an example, started showing off more, getting you things, whatnot. so did the others. minho doesn’t do that. he wants to. he just can’t, for some reason. maybe he’s not strong enough for it.

they are still capable of doing horrific, irreversible shit with the emotional range of a brick wall when it comes to literally everyone else on the planet. but with you? they’re a mess.

the peacocking is unbearable. truly. they are grown men with criminal records. and yet, put you in the room and suddenly it’s: “did you see how fast i did that.” “hey, i fixed that thing you didn’t ask about.” “do you like this shirt.” “watch this.”

it’s a zoo.

jeongin is unbearable about trying to look good for you. new shirts. better cologne. hair always done. he rehearses talking to you in mirrors.

seungmin rolls his eyes so hard. then five minutes later he’s doing push ups on the living room floor mid conversation.

“are you okay?” chagbin asks.

“strength is important.” seungmin says, not breaking rhythm.

“for what?” minho mutters.

seungmin doesn’t answer. just does push ups angrier.

hyunjin solves problems for you so fast that you didn’t even know there was a problem.

felix tries too, bless him. he brings you things. not good things. just… things. a cool rock. a hoodie he thought you’d like. maybe food. han backs him up always.

chaangbin just hovers closer and laughs at your jokes a little too fast.

minho pretends he’s above all of it but starts dressing nicer.

but like… chan starts getting closer too. he’s always within arm’s reach now, and he’s doing it on purpose. sits beside you instead of across the room. stands behind you when you’re at the counter. it’s subtle, but chan does nothing by accident.

these assholes are detached. violent. they step over lines most people can’t even look at. they don’t feel things the way other people do. but something still locked onto you. it’s not healthy, it’s fixation, attachment, the thing that’s not dull in them.

hyunjin chose to drink more. i mean, not falling over and blackout drunk, but he was always lowkey an alcoholic, and this situation doesn’t help that.

and i mean by situation, remember what i said about han needing a few more times to get the hang of having sex? yeah you made sure he got those few times.

so the bottle appears more often. glass refills quicker, and hyunjin’s eyes linger longer than they used to when he looks at you and han in the same space.

he sees everything. han already at your place when hyunjin comes over, hair messy, shirt half buttoned wrong, looking dazed. he can’t hide the post sex glow to save his life. but he doesn’t have to, why would he?

“why does he look like that?” seungmin mutters once, watching han stumble into the living room looking suspiciously content.

“like what?” chan asks, already knowing.

“i dunno. i hate it.“

han, oblivious, waves. “hi guys.” radiating. absolutely glowing. it’s unbearable.

it fucks han’s little empty mind up that something else can bring him happiness too, not just killing and blood. it’s weird. it’s nice. he can compare this feeling to… how he thinks felix felt when he almost caught the mailman. the “almost” brings this sentence down, but it did feel pretty good for felix, he couldn’t shut up about it. han feels the same about you. (and about finally getting pussy)

the others see it, and it’s driving them insane. because now they want it too. not in the same way, not with the same softness, but they want you. your attention. your acceptance. your willingness to not recoil when they get close.

but… you see, these are not men who see a closed door and go “ah, okay, i’ll respect that.” they see a closed door and think: interesting obstacle. not in a creepy way, okay, maybe in a lil creepy way because they’re creepy in general, but in a deeply dysfunctional, emotionally illiterate, “i don’t know how to stop wanting this” way. because for maybe the first time in their lives, they want something that isn’t about control, thrill, or distraction. they want you.

the peacocking escalates. seungmin suddenly learning how to cook one (1) dish and acting like he earned a michelin star. jeongin doubles down with the flirting. felix saw the others do push ups(he was the only one who found it cool) so he tries too and immediately loses count. minho tries to be quicker than the others. changbin is always feeding you. would spit the food into your mouth babybird style if you asked, like seungmin did into chan’s mouth. pfft. chan makes sure to look manly. he succeeds too. hyunjin shows off his handyman skills. they are not subtle. at all.

the tension between them ramps up too, not hatred, not really being angry at each other, just pressure with nowhere to go. hyunjin trips seungmin more often, who shoulder checks jeongin “accidentally.” and jeongin flops dramatically onto whoever is nearest when he’s “emotionally overwhelmed” but in reality he’s blocking them from talking to you. felix and han are still the only ones not fully drowning in it, mostly because they share one collective brain cell and it’s busy playing elevator music.

sooo yeah, they keep trying, because the feeling exists, and they don’t know how to kill it. which, ironically, is the one thing they’re usually very good at.

and while you want to get your alone time with your boyfriend who is not even really your boyfriend, just han, and also a serial killer, but you kiss and fuck sometimes and not even because you’re horny but because it’s intimate, but not your boyfriend, the others have absolutely started “accidentally” showing up at your place more.

just again, not subtle. knocking once and walking in. texting “you home” while already on the stairs. suddenly all needing something from you specifically.

the first time they came over unannounced(well, not first time and we know that damn well, just first time since this you letting han hit thing), and han was shirtless, hair messy, looking dazed and soft in a way that screamed yeah they fucked, the room was silent.

han just waved. “hi guys.” no shame. no awareness.

you were the one flustered. han genuinely does not understand why his friends seeing him half dressed near you would be weird.

“put a shirt on, romeo.” seungmin snaps at han once.

han looks down at himself. “why?”

“because i said so.”

“okay!” han says, and goes to put a shirt on. which is in your room. seungmin looks like he might start shooting the wall again. or try out felix’s going after the mailman thing.

you’ll be talking and jeongin will just lean in, grinning in that evil way of his, saying something like “still my favorite person in the room, by the way.”

the others keep telling him to shut up. chan mostly does that by touching you in some way while jeongin is hitting on you, stealing you.

they try to interrupt on purpose after that one time they came over and realized you and han were up to some shi. not to be cruel, but because they think they can stop shit from happening that way. and also, maybe a little bit, because they hope they’ll get to see you naked too.

“oh we just needed to talk.” “didn’t know you were busy.” “we thought you’d be up.” their acting is good, they do that to function between humans after all, but you simply just see through them by now.

changbin once barges in meanwhile han’s mouth is so obviously going down on your body. you’re still clothed, luckily, but you weren’t far away from being.. not clothed. that’s also explained by han’s hands currently in your pants, pulling them down.

and changbin just stands there. looks at han. looks at you.

“…what are you guys doing.”

you stare at him.

han, still with his mouth on your stomach where your shirt is pushed up. “kissing.”

changbin nods slowly. “…okay.”

doesn’t leave.

you point at the door.

he leaves. kicks the hallway wall on the way out.

the other time, when you’re on top of this absolute baby of a man(ruthless serial killer) you hear the door open and assume it’s just one of them dropping by. you ignore it, continuing to dryhump han, thinking about maybe taking your shirt off too, but you don’t get to that because your bedroom door swings open.

jeongin, seungmin and felix stand there. mid conversation. mid argument. mid dap up. and mid you and han very clearly being busy.

you freeze. han does not. he turns his head, still shirtless, hair a mess, expression calm. sweet. empty behind the eyes. “oh hey.”

“OUT.” you shout.

jeongin blinks a few times before he physically grabs seungmin’s collar and drags him back out. “yep. yep. that’s on us. sorry y/n. love you.”

felix just waves. “hi.”

“felix.”

“going!”

door shuts.

you bury your face in your hands.

han kisses your shoulder. “they’re bad at doors.”

“that is not the problem.”

since those, you’re alert. careful. door locked. allat. and it’s mostly peaceful, just you and han in your room, it’s steamy, you’re about to go at it too—

the knob rattles. then stops. then knock knock knock knock knock.

“WHAT.” you yell.

“it’s chan.”

you pull the blanket tighter around yourself. “give us a minute!”

pause.

“…why.”

han calls out, helpful as always: “we’re naked.”

silence.

you hear chan inhale through his nose. “…understood.”

footsteps retreat.

you drop your head back against the pillow. han smiles at you.

god, they’re insufferable. you’ll hear footsteps outside the bedroom door. you open it to find jeongin leaning against the frame, smiling ear to ear.

“wow.” he says, eyes flicking between you and han who’s sitting in your bed, waiting for you to go back to him already. “didn’t knock. my bad.”

han waves from behind you. “hi.”

jeongin steps inside. “you know, i was just thinking—”

“out.” you say.

he laughs. “relax. just saying hi.”

he sits in your bed.

han shifts closer to him, delighted. “oh!” he says. “sleepover?”

pfft. let’s not even talk about when he invites them to stay for dinner. the first time he did it was when some of them, let’s say seungmin and changbin(i’m using them so much bc they’re the more social ones in these situations, dw the others will get their little turns too later on in the story) walked in on you two again, and instead of leaving, they laid down into bed next to you two. han is always so delighted that two of his favorite things(third is killing) are getting combined that he keeps asking them to stay. brutal.

but when they’re not currenly walking in on you two? when they make their little psychopathic moves on you at any other given moment? you don’t… shut them down. no, you don’t say no to them at all.

so in their heads? that means there’s a chance.

hyunjin starts lingering longer when he drops you off. seungmin gets cuddly when you’re all together, leg pressed against yours. jeongin dials the flirting up to ridiculous levels. chan offers you rides, help, time. changbin buys you things. minho pretends he’s not participating while absolutely participating, walking with you everywhere. felix brags about how he attacked the mailman.

they want you so badly it’s almost painful. and now they’ve seen it’s possible.

and… you don’t shut them down. sure, when they walk in on you about to ride their friend into the afterlife, that can be frustrating, but otherwise you’re obviously not against their tries.

you hug chan a lot. god, he always liked hugging you. always pretended it was casual. friendly, nothing else. it never was to him. wasn’t really to you either. and the fact that you still do it, when you could choose someone else, already at your feet, over him? chan’s empty little heart beats a lot more these days.

if you ever gave him the chance, even a small one, he’d fold immediately. he’d be your dream man, behind han’s back, or right in front of his dumb little eyes. either way.

you don’t slap hyunjin’s hand away when he’s drunk and reckless and his touch gets heavy, careless, wandering. you let him.

god, you let all of them.

one evening, you’re standing at the counter, distracted, and minho comes up behind you to grab a glass. his hand brushes your lower back.

he leans in, whispering to you. “you’re doing this on purpose.”

you glance at him. “doing what?”

“you know what.”

he doesn’t elaborate. no need to.

he steps closer, crowding your space just enough to make a point, looking down at your mouth, then back up at your eyes. then he scoffs quietly, steps away, grabs his glass too hard.

“fuck this.” he mutters, and leaves the room.

but later, when you sit down, he sits beside you without comment, thigh pressed to yours. wanting your touch.

you are doing this on purpose. and you know you shouldn’t let this happen. these are not men built for healthy attachment. their affection is obsessive, so fucking wrong and violent and fucked up.

but you do let it happen. you let them sit close. you let them touch. another cleans his weapon obsessively while watching you from the corner of his eye.

pick me.

choose me.

let it be me too.

they will try. they will try to get you, no matter what.

if han got there by accident… maybe they still can on purpose.

author’s note: THERE WILL BE A PART 3!!! in the next part, the others will get their own little romance too. maybe not all of them, in that case a part 4 will come. tumblr has a writing limit sadly. anyways, everyone who didn’t get their spotlight eventually will. love y’all!!

tags: @yeonii08 @fics-lovebot @nougatjade @itsraininghyunebuckets @simpqueen2025 @alondra6011 @jaykaavfxcq @soldantae @11racha @angelbbygrl @lovelyzghostss @lisastay1 @btch8008s @elizaliza159 @psychobitchsthings @fairyprincesslvr21 @niku0704 @carrotcakeesblog @flamegirl @lixwrld @franaby @bee-gremlin @gardeniashellfire @nevermoreraven1 @sapphirewaves @twilightavenue @pinkdollyy1 @akindaflora @eclips-moon @danielle143 @fr34k4c1dr41n @rayraymylove

#so messed up and so good #obsessed with their characterisations especially sunshine twins #skz #fic recs #ot8

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