Incredibly Clever

Witty nonsense

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

"He wants five babies" Dolores says knowing she's about to give her closeted gay cousin a panic attack

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

I've made a decision:

Dick Grayson is a Hufflepuff

Jason Todd is a Ravenclaw

Tim Drake is a Slytherin

Damian Wayne is a Gryffindor

No, you cannot change my mind.

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

Americans be over here arguing about "freedom of speech" like it's 1919 again

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

The only difference between a cadaver and someone waiting for a massage is whether the sheet covers their face

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

Dis my baby

She so cute

I hold in arms

And kiss her snoot

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

I feel the need to publicly apologize to Tim Drake for ever thinking he was lame when I was younger. In my defense, I didn't know much about him; in his defense, I didn't try learn about him either. After many years, I can now say with absolute certainty that he is my favorite Robin. Thank you.

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

Probably what I love most about my girlfriend is that I can just yell, "I'M A CACTUS" and she 100% understands that I am not rejecting her advances because I no longer love her, but rather am feeling particularly prickly today and do not want to be touched.

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

It is absolutely WILD that I am making more money being on unemployment during this pandemic than I ever made at my full-time job. I wasn't even paid minimum wage; I was making $12 an hour. What does it say about our country that $600/wk is the amount the government thinks we're making, but they refuse to raise minimum wage?

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

911 emergency call

Got a 411 in a shopping mall

Guys. That's Black Friday. They're happening at the same time.

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

Thank you Robert Manion for reminding me that I am definitely a bisexual woman and not strictly a lesbian

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

Reviews for the Starkid Tickle Me Wiggly Doll

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

I don't usually post pictures of myself, but I need everyone to appreciate this with me. I am LITERALLY the meme that's like:

"Who are you?"

"I'm you, but older, gayer, and I can say fuck."

Like...

When did that happen??

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

"I mean, as a Native American, I do support corn."

- My girlfriend

[someonewittythiswaycomes]

"It's completely normal to want your girlfriend to lick your nose!"

- My girlfriend