some tea with honey from the bees

hi :) He/Him

[theo-the-door]

Trans guy going on T, call that Project Male Hairy

[moon-meerkat]

"it's a romantic song"

not when i'm through with it

[polyamorousmood]

It really says something that a lot of monogamous people consider polyamorous and aromantic to be "opposites" but every polyam person I know took one look at aromantics and said "they're just like me for real"

[silosworld]

Poly folks x aro folks in the sense that "alloromantic heterosexual monogamous people view love and sex as an entirely different entity than me, and that makes life kinda strange"

[rincent-van-uggh]

[aromanticofficial]

official aro-polyam solidarity post

[dinomoder]

This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.

[elierlick]

There is still time. It's never too late to transition

[pineappical]

thinking about statues of Grace being built all around Erid years after his passing so he can continue to watch over Eridians as they sleep

[heaven-sent-hell-bent]

i just made a model of rocky and he met my cat monkey!!! she doesn’t seem to like him very much. but rocky says amaze amaze!!

[funstyle]

*cools ur dashboard down*

[defiantlybouncingonit]

Reblog this to reblog from the user you reblogged from

[arowitharrows]

tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!

But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".

And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!

I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.

[arowitharrows]

people keep generally agreeing (?) with this post only to double down on the 'not doing anything' phrase and like, if you want to continue using this sentiment then sure, I'm not stopping you. But I personally won't stand behind it and my first assumption will be that people using it have not fully deconstructed and understood the mechanisms of queerphobia and/or do not understand asexuality and aromanticism.

In the past years, and especially with a focus on queer infighting and "discourse", it has become very clear to me how important it is to understand the reasons behind people's prejudice against certain minority groups. Everyone knows that queerphobia exists, but I find it helpful to ask myself, do I know why it exists? Do I know which fundamental beliefs drive people's hatred? Do I know how these beliefs differ between, e.g. the political far right, conservative christians, or my grandmother who grew up in the 40s? It is so important to consider these things, both in determining how to address the problem of queerphobia in the current context and to avoid pointless discourse about who does or doesn't face discrimination in our society.

So, in the context of this post, I need aspec people to understand that no matter how hard you cling to "we aren't even doing anything", it's not going to save you. Sure, people hate queer sex a lot, and maybe you aren't having queer sex. But it is vital to understand that, usually, their core belief isn't that no one should have sex ever, it's that people should have sex in a specific controlled context - e.g. married, heterosexual, sex for procreation, romantic sex - and they will not be happy with you if you don't comply. Choosing to never have sex is expressing bodily autonomy that they do not want you to have. And if you are clinging to this phrase because of a general feeling of "I'm just living my live, why would anyone hate me for existing?" then yeah, I get that, I really do. But don't forget that that's true for every single queer orientation out there.

Also on that note, I need people to not erase aromanticism from this discussion. If we are talking about aphobia then that includes aromantic people and it includes aromantic people who aren't asexual. It includes the way people react to aromantic people having sex without being romantically attracted to their partners. I feel like often times when people say they don't understand aphobia, and when they try to explain/justify this stance, it's only in the context of "not having sex" and aromanticism is somehow forgotten.

[scribefindegil]

like it's genuinely absurd how every post by an aro person going "Hey, it's kind of fucked up that marriage is the only way to access certain rights and privileges" gets people coming out of the woodwork to say "You idiot! Don't you know that marriage is important?! It's the only way to access certain rights and privileges!"

like . . . yeah. they do know that. that is in fact the problem.

[theo-the-cat-guy]

I am a strong believer in destroying the legal institution of marriage. You can have civil partnerships and stuff between any number of adults for any reason, but marriage is a cultural and religious cerimony and should have no place or influence in the law

[astriiformes]

To be quite honest with you all I do think that aro/ace-spectrum fans in fandoms where people are desperately inventing crossover ships and humanizing non-human characters in order to have a conventionally attractive guy to ship the main character with, instead of possibly having to enjoy a story with no romance in it, have the right to refer to everyone else as cowards.

[astriiformes]

Sorry you almost had to entertain the idea that people like me exist, I'm sure that was very painful for you.

[astriiformes]

This post has officially reached the "Let people enjoy things" crowd so I'm just going to come right and say it: Do I or do I not also count as a people.

[depressedcryptographer]

Asking for touch as an aspec is so weird like “hey, please touch me, but not in a sex/romance way, just in a human contact way. Interact with my body’s touchscreens. Punch me in the face or something. Please. I’ll take anything at this point.”

Edit: of course everyone here has blanket permission to tag this as Blorbo from their Shows. We love seeing representation, implicit or explicit.

[aromanticofficial]

official aromantic post

[i-suggest-becoming-a-guy]

[heaven-sent-hell-bent]

father’s day shoutout to bobby singer, dean winchester, crowley good omens, eddie mckenna, rory williams, stede bonnet, and alec hardy

[vonlipwig]

developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.

[someteawithhoneyfromthebees]

im from the future and i actually know that david tennant is gonna be the next showrunner and billie piper is gonna be the next doctor and her companion will be david tennant and the master is gonna come back played by crossdressing david tennant and,, it will be a musical