bequeath me to the dirt

[thebibliosphere]

Mark the electrician has been here for five minutes and he’s already said “well that’s…weird” twice from the other room and frankly I’m afraid to ask.

[thebibliosphere]

It’s not good when skilled tradesman are standing in the middle of your room pinching the bridge if their nose, is it?

[thebibliosphere]

Mark just referred to the wiring in our bedroom as “creative” and “interesting”.

This is fine.

[thebibliosphere]

And now he’s taking apart the ceiling. I’m not worried, are any of you worried? I’m not, haha, it’s not like this house was previously owned by someone who would do something stupid like try to wire their house themselves…or store tins of varnish under the furnace behind a secret alcove…

Ha ha…

Ha.

Hm.

Fuck.

[thebibliosphere]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO NEUTRAL WIRES??!?

[thebibliosphere]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S GROUNDED INTO THE SCREWS HOLDING UP THE CEILING LIGHT???!?!!

[suspiciouscoconut]

This post crosses my dashboard every so often and every time, I’m reminded of when I discovered that my whole house was grounded to a gas line.

Good times.

[the-sapphic-raven]

IT WAS WHAT?

[joshsundquist]

my new Halloween costume is FIRE...err, I mean it puts them out

[andhumanslovedstories]

had a genuine revelation in therapy that made me burst out laughing, been a while since I had one of those

[andhumanslovedstories]

therapist was talking about urge surfing (the idea that urges are waves that come and go if you ride them out, so the more you delay acting on the urge, the more likely you are not to do it) and then I was talking about how the transient nature of my emotions is actually what gets me so mad, like it’s actually very very annoying to be so so sad but to also be thinking “I know I’m very sad right now but unfortunately I am going to feel better later so I can’t destroy my life for one minute’s gratification,” and it’s just so annoying because if I knew or at least believed that I was gonna be sad FOREVER it would make things much easier, but instead I’m so mad at the knowledge that this too will pass. like it’s a manifestation of weak will to not feel bad forever.

and my therapist was like, “so even at the worst times, you still have hope”

and I was like “holy shit dude” because never once in my life have I considered that the little bastard voice that tells me not to smash all the dishes because they’ll be a pain in the ass to clean up in ten minutes is the last gift/curse of Pandora’s box

[andhumanslovedstories]

hope is a thing with wings, i.e. a bird and like most birds is 1) very beautiful, 2) very annoying, and 3) sometimes shits on you

[sixpenceee]

An owl gliding through a cloud of helium-filled soap bubbles revealing wingtip and tail vortices | source

[weaver-z]

I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

[alpojones]

[sandersstudies]

If somebody pitched me traditional gender roles for the first time they would have me in the first half not going to lie.

Oh, in a complex society with a massive amount of required knowledge and responsibilities, two people traditionally partner together so that the knowledge and responsibilities can be divided between them? Awesome!

Wait what do you mean the responsibilities are assigned at birth.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE HALF HAS FEWER CIVIL RIGHTS.

[starlightshadowsworld]

As always, the Irish speak nothing but facts.

How many more innocent civilians have to be killed by Israel before you condemn that for it?

That is a genocide.

That this is a crime on all accounts.

And deserves to be punished to the full extent off the law.

[aiweirdness]

my hobby: giving bard inoccuous photos to describe but referring to them as "spooky Halloween scene"

then seeing if Dall-E3 can retrieve the original photo from bard's description

it turns out the information retrieval is highly influenceable

more

[artbyblastweave]

The YouTube content creator community was wracked by macabre tragedy this morning after Amelia Bedelia was instructed to hang streamers for a six year old’s birthday party

[montereybayaquarium]

Deep Sea 101: Feeding

Dining in the deep sea can be decidedly difficult when you don’t know when, where, or how big your next meal will be! The animals that live here have special adaptations to find food in the dark (like an alluring anglerfish lure), to make room for large  meals (like a rapidly expanding stomach), or to trap unsuspecting prey (like a mouth cage!).

[shiftythrifting]

This bag of naked men I bought at a neighbor's estate sale.

They all have names on their butts, and one of them is named Chad.

[erets]

soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

[krispypotato]

so much to do

so much to sea

[fluffypotatey]

What car brand is your enemy on the road?

Mazda

Ford

Nissan…….

Toyota

Chevy

Kia

Honda

Infiniti

Suburu

Accura

Trucks…..just trucks, I hate them

some other brand I forgor (let me know in the tags)

Voting ended onNov 5, 2023

Feel free to specify which model of car it is! For example, Honda CRVs: none of them know how to fucking drive >:( Meanwhile, all Nissans are my enemies by principle

[metalgeara-10ciiscorpionhmcs]

I love seeing list memes where someone makes a "le cool people vs le cringe" and they obviously skew it so they barely scrape by into the cool kids club

[metalgeara-10ciiscorpionhmcs]

You just KNOW this dudes 5'11"

[inbabylontheywept]

I'm 5'11, but in most casual conversations I'll say I'm 5'9. I do this purely for the chaos that it creates. Because everyone assumes that men only exaggerate their height up, it makes me look like the only person honestly describing their height and thus knocks at least 2 inches off everyone else's description. The panic that the 6'1 guys feel at the thought of being described as 5'11 is hard to understate. I have had people run back to their cars to grab tape measures. If I could get away with describing myself as 4'6 I would.

[loth-catgirl]

you are the diametrical opposite of the aforementioned guy. you are a demigod walking among mortals

[tony-the-tigers-juicy-armpit]

today's children are gonna become teens and clown the shit out of us for 'eepy' and 'blorbo' but they'll say it in cocomelonese so we won't understand them

[fennel-tea]

today’s eepy blorbo is yesterday’s heckin doggo is last week’s smexy bishie

[jazzybot4]

I hate that you're right and that I understood all of that.

[aqueerkettleofish]

[whumpster-fire]

Eeby Deeby, Blorbo, Heckin' Pupper, Doggo

Epic Win, Based King, Roflcopter, 1337Sp34k

Tumblr Wizard Penis Blast, I can has Lolcats

Cope Seethe Mald, U Mad? Smexy Bishie, Gigachad

For the lulz, dank memes, uwu huggle glomp squee

Cringe, fail, ratio, L, Horse Plinko to Super Hell

All your base belong to us, OP's post is really sus

OMG cool story bro, Awesomesauce, YOLO

I can't take it anymore, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

(one, nothing wrong with me, two, nothing wrong with me)

We didn't start the fire

It was always burnin' since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No we didn't light it but we tried to fight it

[huffylemon]