I’m slowly beginning to accept the reality that 2007 was not last year but in fact almost four years ago

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DEAR READER

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

oozey mess
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Today's Document

JVL
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor
NASA
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@sonjaundulat
I’m slowly beginning to accept the reality that 2007 was not last year but in fact almost four years ago
“Magneto’s backstory should be changed, it’s unrealistic that he’d still be alive after all this time!” Have you forgotten what franchise he’s from?
You can suspend your disbelief for the man transformed into sentient rocks by space radiation, the interdimensional bird, and the flaming biker skeletons, but one guy being a little old is where you draw the line?
It's the ~antisemitism~
#its also worth noting that marvel *DID* change magneto's backstory#he was originally presented as someone who had survived the shoah as an adult#and marvel retconned it to him surviving it as a child#iirc his original debut backstory involved him losing a wife and two kids??
Well, no, not really. When Magneto was made to be a Holocaust survivor, he was a survivor from childhood, though by the end of the Holocaust he was in his teens. His daughter Anya was killed by an antisemitic mob after the Holocaust, at some point in the 1950s.
It's also an attempt to pretend that the Shoah is ancient history, when it's really not.
"It's unrealistic for a Holocaust survivor to still be alive."
Assholes, there are Holocaust survivors still alive in the real world.
They're really telling on themselves because Wolverine is like 170 years old.
wolverine being a hundred and fucking seventy: normal
magneto being the same age as currently alive holocaust survivors: impossible
I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together
Examples:
- guy at work "Yes, and -" ing the bit me and my coworker were doing where we pretended to be owners of a fantasy medieval tavern not minimum wage retail staff
- at the gay club when Die Young by Kesha came on and two hundred people, all dancing and drinking separately, jumped up and down to make the "- beat of the drums *STOMP STOMP*" as loud as possible
- person who watched me stomp round the beach singing a made up song about breakfast foods to name a cat after and suggested more breakfast foods that would be good cat names
- guy who started a dance off with everyone across the road while waiting for the lights to change
- very tiny girl at the pharmacy interviewing everyone in the queue and every single one of us in turn sat down and answered this toddler's questions like we were on Letterman
The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing
Was scrolling through AO3 and found this gem
Enemy to parent is a trope we have to popularise lmao
How I long to see her face now
Her starry, moonlit gaze now
I know she's never late, still anxiously I wait
Patient is the night
Happy Tenth Anniversary to my favorite animated show of all time!
ᴇᴢʀᴀ ᴊᴀᴄᴋ ᴋᴇᴀᴛs Artwork from his 1962 book The Snowy Day.
I think "they don't even have X" is one of those memes that's actually funnier in its original context than in anything that's been done with it subsequently. Like, in its original context, this is a joke about a man who has lived his entire adult life alone in a swamp cold-reading the atmosphere of a corporate workplace and deciding that appealing to the receptionist's sense of working-class solidarity is going to get him in the door, and it fucking works.
You go to your friend’s house and Jeff Bezos is there. You’re like “are you insane? That’s Jeff Bezos, he’s evil, we need to throw him out” and your friend tries to convince you that no poor Jeff Bezos has amnesia and is in a lot of trouble so you have to help him. This is insane to you but you’re in love with your friend so you’re like okay…and then Jeff Bezos regains his memories and runs off to live out his queer love story. You’re like “well that was INSANE wasn’t it? Let’s go do boozy brunch to get over it and also I might be in love with you”…..but your friend/love of your life is like “this is awkward but I’m actually the new CEO of Amazon”…….that would be terrible wouldn’t it? Well something really similar happened to my good friend crowley
i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes
“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”
and friend got kinda mad at me lmao
Fuck his dad
Fuck his dad
Fuck his dad
happy fuck his dad friday
i’m convinced that the ice age franchise won’t end until the squirrel that always chases after the nut gets an equally hideous girlfriend with Squirrel Tits™ and eyelashes
no….. No
NO
No you don’t understand, I have this entire developed theory about the Ice Age universe which has been cooking up in my mind and has only be reinforced by the latest 5th installment. Scrat is the god of the Ice age universe. The story began with him and the story will end with him. If there weren’t hints before, in this latest installment, it becomes clear that Scrat’s actions dictate what happens on Earth and to the protagonists. Yes, maybe Scart’s only goal is to get the nut, but his actions SHAPE what happens in the film. If we needed any further proof then may I point out something Buck said in the 5th film along the lines of “we’re 6 mins early! Somebody up there likes us!” That phrase is usually used to refer to a god and in this case it’s used to refer (unknowingly) to scrat!
However, there is an ALTERNATE theory that I have been working on. What if Scart isn’t the god of the ice age universe, but rather, the NUT is? As i have already said, Scart’s actions shape the course of the story but what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut, it is truly because of the nut that Scart does what he does that leads to the events that take place in the story. This would create an interesting metaphor here. Scrat is chasing the nut like man chases divinity. So when will the Ice Age saga end?? When Scart finally gets the nut for good. When man catches God.
i didnt even read this but im laughing at how many times scrat is typoed as scart
“what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut” is the funniest fucking string of words I’ve read in my life
I’m watching the original Ice Age right now and the only thing I can focus on is “what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut” that’s all that’s happening in my brain
Keke Palmer's boyfriend and the father of her baby publicly shamed her for her outfit and it's the audacity of someone we only know as "Keke Palmer's boyfriend" to target his hardworking significant other, the mother to his baby like this
The comments on his Instagram are cracking me up