xanax flavored waste of time

alex // 23// he/him // schizo, DID, bde // tw for trauma and eating diosrder content // main: chussy. ignore my old about if you see it, i forgor how to change it

[machinot]

Scientists have found that if you get 8 hours of sleep and are still tired during the day it’s because your soul is cursed and your body doesn’t think you deserve happiness. There is no cure or treatment

[uredrunk]

[moonlipgloss]

posts that make me want to rip my heart out part 5

[litteraeignotae]

Our Share of Night, Mariana Enriquez, tr. Megan McDowell

[plurapony]

"omg you're a system!!! it just be so fun to have friends in your head!!!"

Yeah. They are my friends but you know what's really not fucking fun? Seeing how intelligent an alter is and how much they want to pursue their dream career but they can't because we share a body. Seeing how creative and talented alters are but we can't spend hours and hours drawing because we share a body and the body has to work. Seeing that an alter really wants to do something and we just don't have time, they say it's okay but we share a body and I know how they really feel.

Yeah I have friends in my head and I'm constantly letting them down because the things we all want aren't physically possible. Yeah that's really fun.

[candyrain-collective]

a comic about my experience with other people's perception of my DID/OSDD. might do more pages in the future? we'll see.

[knifefightscene]

Like i think ppl are allowed to be damaged and fucked up and it maybe annoying or inconvenient to you but honestly it doesn’t really hurt anyone like ppl with terrible depression or addiction but they’re not hurting anyone and they deserve help instead all they get is isolation and they become more fucked up and more isolated and i do think about how many ppl try so hard to just exist and other ppl just see them as inconveniences

[knifefightscene]

Like when ppl have chronic pain and it makes them work slower and not as productive and they’re made to feel like they’re a burdens on society and all your worth is calculated by how much you’re willing to push through pain and die for corporate and how once u reach a certain age you just because a burden with younger generations just wishing you’d die and the cycle just continues forever.

[0400archive]

“Dissociation is numbness and nothingness; it is a feeling of being lost; it is floating on a cloud that threatens to suffocate; it is automatic speech and action without awareness or control; it is looking at the world and blinking to try to remove the blurry fog; it is hearing and seeing the immediate world and simultaneously feeling very far away; it is raw fear; it is unfamiliarity in familiar places; it is possession; it is being haunted everyday by unknown monsters that can be felt but not seen (at least not by others); it is looking in the mirror and not knowing who is looking back; it is fantasy and imagination; and, above all else, it is survival. Dissociation is all of these things and none of them at once.”

— http://www.seriousmentalillness.net/

[tomorrowmydear]

Mothers & Fathers

@heavensghost | Jasmine R., “Untitled” | Berthe Morisot, “The Cradle” | @honeytuesday | Unknown | Alain de Botton | Léon Lucien Goupil, “Motherhood” | Chen Chen, “Poplar Street” | Ella Wilson, “Take Care: Mothers, Daughters, and Inheriting Self-Hatred” | @maiabaia | Kazuya Akimoto, “Mother and a Child in the Mirror” | Li-Young Lee, “Folding a Five-Cornered Star so the Corners Meet” | Aaron Smith, “Primer” | Catherine Lacey, “Cut” | futngina | Jules David, “Vice and Virtue: Misery” | Rupi Kaur, “The Sun and Her Flowers”

[schizoafucktive]

Me (age 14): *experiences depressive episode* I have… to die… because I think that’s… the only way…

Me (age 14): *returns to normal mood* Okay so… I think I might be depressed. I should see a doctor.

Me (age 14): *experiences a manic episode* Oh! Here we go! Normal human mood :) the baseline emotion that the average person exists in! I am not depressed and I will not be going to the doctor! Haha! Instead I will sit in the street at 3:00 am and dare the cars to hit me (they can’t, I’m god, haha!)

[milkapplecup-deactivated2022022]

[cutepilled]

[saifey]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[thenationalyrics]

My head is a buzzing three star hotel

Lights VI: The Spa (1974), Micheal Andrews / Blank Slate (2008), The National

[exlibrisfangirl]

Do you ever get hit with the unwelcome realization that the rest of your life is going to be like this, and you feel like you've been punched in the gut by the Hulk? Like... you suddenly realize that every, single day of the entire remainder of your life is going to be an exhausting, painful, uphill struggle for survival... and the resulting wave of shock and grief and anger that washes over you is so overwhelming, that you actually feel like you've had the wind knocked out of you?

I don't want to live my life in survival mode.

It's not fair.

[septic-dr-schneep]

Chronic illness is feeling borderline okay for a few minutes and trying to accomplish like five things, and then you pay for it with a gamble of whether you’re going to pass out or cry

[lissar-deactivated20220127]

this poem plays in my head all! the! time! it’s maddening.

transcript:

[This is the house that built me / and I’m gonna burn it down. / This is the river I crawled from/ and I refuse to drown here. / And bless the strippers / but fuck the men. / And bless the berries / but fuck the farm. / And bless the daughter / but fuck the family. / What is a home / if not the first place you learn to run from? / You’ve got to bite the hand / that starves you, and in doing so / Praise the place that birthed you. / Birthed you fucked up. / Birthed you ugly, and interesting, / and ready to scream.“— Courtney Love Prays To Oregon, Clementine von Radics]

[sparcky]

me, looking back on it all:

[lacefuneral]

the word empathy is WIDELY misused, even in mental health spaces. 

empathy:

is responding to a person’s emotions by experiencing the same emotion as them (i.e. feeling sad when something sad happens to that person, or happy when something happy happens to that person.)

is an automatic response that cannot be controlled

cannot be learned

sympathy:

is recognizing that another person is in pain, even if you do not experience that pain, and offering comfort to that person

is something a person must actively choose to do

can be learned

compassion:

is showcasing care and support via words and actions

is something a person must actively choose to do

can be learned

if you need an example of a person with no empathy who practices sympathy and compassion, look no further than data from star trek: the next generation. he doesn’t have emotions at all, but he’s still kind to people and wants to help them.

stop telling people that they’re evil because they don’t experience empathy. stop equating empathy with morality. stop equating empathy with caring. stop saying that cruel people “lack empathy.” stop throwing neurodivergent and mentally ill people under the bus.