So Schön!

I WAS FORMERLY DERHARALDVOMJOHANN. Fandoms are the following in no particular order: I gave up. They change like everyday. And I just don't care anymore. Harry Potter is probably the only constant. 5 years old trapped in a 28 year old body,professional bartender, i-don't-fucking-know-and-care-sexual, feminist, pacifist, and all kind of -ists. I like octopus, food, strange things, selfies, photography, bad puns, silly crossovers them/they (she/her if you must)

[mold-muriel]

[ittybittymattycommittee]

#raise your shields #because you’re about to get wrecked

[jewishgarygreen]

#this is the star trek i wanna see#like when somebody asked gene roddenberry why piccard was bald#because wouldn’t they have found a cure for male pattern baldness by then?#and he was like ‘no by the 24th century no one will care’#i wanna see that attitude with disability and neurodiversity#it’s not that we’ll have a magic cure for everything#there’ll always be something new#but disabilities and neurodiversity will be celebrated and seen as part of the norm#it will be accomodated#so blind people can serve in star fleet#and so can people in wheelchairs and autistic people and people with prosthetics and people with chronic illnesses (via @hunterinabrowncoat)

[spirallingintotheabyss]

Will I die for you? Yes. Will I turn subtitles off for you? No.

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

Hey Kids, kennt ihr noch den Song “Amsterdam” von Cora (ihr wisst schon “Allein in einer fremden Stadt, allein in Amsterdam”). Ich claime den jetzt als gay und zwar aus folgenden Gründen

Die beiden Sängerinnen von Cora sind lesbisch und miteinander verheiratet.

Im gesamten Text werden keine geschlechtsspezifischen Pronomen benutzt, sondern nur das Wort “du”.

Warum ist das lyrische Ich ausgerechnet allein in Amsterdam? Nein, nicht, weil das am besten zur Melodie passt. Amsterdam galt viele Jahre lang als Schwulenhauptstadt Europas.

Die verdammte Zeile “Regenbogengold haben wir gewollt”

Selbst das offizielle Musikvideo ist gay

[teamklingon]

[captacorn-deactivated20230731]

Is this a print ad for Radio Shack?

[mylittleredgirl]

NO OMG

I REMEMBER THIS

THIS WAS IN PARADE MAGAZINE

I THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL I CUT IT OUT AND HUNG IT ON MY WALL

[mylittleredgirl]

okay no I was going to let this go but every time I see it I just have to stop what I’m doing and laugh for ten minutes

bob picardo’s ultimate Dad pose

roxann is wearing velour which was cutting edge fabric probably

i’m pretty sure i had that keyboard

why? is the palm pilot thing under a dome? is it a security dome because there are only ten in the world!? does it need its own ecosystem to survive??? what is happening

looking at kate and robbie makes me think it’s possible this whole spread was in a clothing & lifestyle mail order catalog and not parade magazine after all

look at jennifer’s hands she looks so uncomfortable i want to get her out of this terrible photo shoot

is ethan phillips under quarantine?? what the fuck is happening there? is he supposed to be in a PHONE BOOTH? to use his CUTTING EDGE cell phone? did we not know how cell phones worked yet!? the x-files had been on for two years already get it together

garrett wang what the fuck is that a hi-top made with cutting edge hair pomade or what’s happening here

tim russ is just limbs and a head what was happening in this wardrobe department? did an all-black memo go out by CUTTING EDGE email and tim roxann and jennifer only check their email once a week because that dial-up’s by the minute ok and where i lived you had to call long distance because the other side of the goddamn county was a long distance telephone call YOU DON’T KNOW OUR STRUGGLES OKAY I WOULD HAVE MURDERED SOMEONE FOR A WEBCAM

[quarkphobic]

this is an excellent picture on its own but lets not ignore the contents of that magazine

thought u could hack my webcam and record me?? jokes on u CIA all u gonna get is my brand new dell computer w/ an AMAZING 2.1GB hard drive 

when ur parents wants u 2 socialise but ur busy faxing memes 2 ur friends w/ the lastest pda

when ppl ask to use ur brand new photo scanner but u arent done scanning ur collection of cat pics yet 

waiting 4 the computer 2 start up so u can show off ur latest – and bestest –photoshops

being the only one in ur friend group w/ a printer and everyone always wants to use ur printer so u decide to just carry it w/ u wherever u go

getting the latest cd-roms before anyone else

when it friday and u decide u deserve that pizza so u call the pizza place to order ur favourite pizza

and jennifer…. continues to look uncomfortable. someone save her

[737838438-deactivated20210613]

“who are u dressing up like that for? 😳” random ppl in the supermarket why do u ask

[pietriarchy]

I feel like everyone worships avocado and I’m struggling because it just tastes like compressed wet grass lump but nobody will listen and I’m all alone in this world

[sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012]

adhd is so funny it's like being possessed but with myself

[welpnotagain]

me, desperately: can we please get something done?!

my inner demon, who is also me: IF YOU LIKE PIÑA COLADA

[ratica]

you're welcome

[greelin]

openly lusting for kitchenware and home goods that you will never be able to afford

[adaswordlace]

christ

[b0ytemper]

This post took 3 years off my life

[unapologetically-descriptivist]

I’ll take “words that perfectly describe the Académie Française but which would literally kill them to hear” for 500, Alex.

[cephalotodd-deactivated20190310]

big bang theory is awful for obvious reasons but honestly shout out to them for inventing “bazinga” so i have a word i can drop into any conversation for a one-hit kill

[schmuddel]

“Bazinga” and “everypony” are the closest we will get to real-world dragon shouts.

[nyanbinyuri]

[lotorhasabuttcape]

every episode of Hannibal

pretty much anyone: (looking at a dead body) his tongue’s been cut out, almost surgically, like they were planning on using the organ for something else

hannibal: everyone come over to my house and eat this freshly prepared tongue i made

literally everyone: how delightful and unrelated to everything else going on

hannibal: I think you’ll find everything is related

straight up everyone, who have at least a graduate degree and are qualified to work for the FBI: (while eating tongue) haha, oh hannibal 

[unfortunate-waitress]

If i’m telling you, “this is a hot plate.” But I make no effort to put it down, i’m internally yelling at you to move your shit. Your phone. Your keys. Your bread. Whatever is directly in front of you is from that point on is now classified as your shit. The shit you are suddenly responsibly for and I am burning my hands for. Move your shit. I’m not going to move it for you.

Shoutout to the people who see me approaching with their food and immediately start clearing the way for me. You are the real MVPs. You know what’s up. You understand.

As for everybody else. Move. Your. Shit.

[hello-its-an-aj]

Me

[unfortunate-waitress]

We see that and we respect the fuck out of you. Thank you.

[worddevourer]

Actually, he’s only a himbo if he’s from the Himbeaux region of France.  Otherwise he’s just a sparkling dumbass

[angrywarrior69]

Tom Paris introduced the eating tide pod meme to Voyager.

Chakotay had to wrestle one out of B'elanna’s hands. (BUT I HAVE TWO LIVERS CHAKOTAY)

Janeway tried to put an end to it when Neelix snorted detergent powder,, and basically died.

Tuvok straight up ate them in the mess for a week to prove how resilient Vulcans are.

The Doctor spaced himself twice.

Seven programmed tide pods under “nutritional suppliment 420”

[angrywarrior69]