Gabe, Stop Fucking Shit Up

Gabe~25~bisexual~Trash

[whitepeopletwitter]

[soulessfauxginger]

I’d love to meet an SO who gives a shit about my needs in a relationship.

[avoiding-claws]

Idk whats riled up Twitter (probs tiger king let’s be real) but if I see one more “friendly reminder that if you support ANY zoo or aquarium, you’re trash :)” I’m gonna have a stroke.

[gettingvetted]

That and the people who who say “now I know how zoo animals feel :(” like gimme a break buddy

[vet-and-wild]

I wish I had a team of dedicated carers providing enrichment, stimulation, and a varied diet every day.

[followthebluebell]

seriously.  i got one guy on my enrichment team and unfortunately for me, he’s ME.  i’ve never studied human husbandry a day in my life and now i’m responsible for my own enrichment, diet, and socialization?  what the fuck, dude.

[badtunesboi-deactivated20180307]

“Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“

[phoenix-phoenix-deactivated2019]

Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG.

[professor-maple-mod]

Holy shit

[ayalaatreides]

The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking.

[afeelgoodblog]

The mental image of this is just delightful

[soulessfauxginger]

My new aesthetic is sitting in a dry bathtub, drinking Truly seltzers at 10am, and watching TikToks.

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

Denver Zoo and its gay lorikeets said fuck homophobes happy Pride

[agentduckorico]

Homophobes: u mean they act like brothers

Denver Zoo: they’re fucking, lorie.

[powerfulwizard]

Had a realization in a dream I just had that this isn’t real and I can just do whatever I want and so I started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small I woke up sleep paralyzed

[powerfulwizard]

I was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing I did was use them to torment the nearest man

[powerfulwizard]

And the actual God woke me up and put me into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what I’ve done

[sebagrelle]

grocery store: *plays some funky 80s song*

my poor mother: please dont

me, immediately dancing in the middle of the aisle:

[precious-peter-deactivated20190]

Peter, jumping over the fence after school: Peter Parkour

[spooky-scary-spiderling-blog]

Peter, wearing a Parka Jacket: Peter Parka

[mag-and-mac-deactivated20191015]

Peter, turning off the lights: Peter darker

[radicalposture]

when im in a bookshop or library and im trying to read the titles of the books on the shelves

[otakusapien]

vampires being the lactose intolerants of the monster world 

“Yes I’m violently allergic to garlic but what’s the point of unliving without Italian food?”

“I know silver is bad for me but this necklace was SO cute and it was on sale”

“Technically sunlight burns my skin but with enough layers and aloe lotion-”

[tedkordisanasshole]

#‘i don’t care how many holy symbols were at the met gala anne hathaway was supposed to be there and i haven’t seen her in 250 years

[maximumgayce]

@probablyvampirerpgideas

[tinyearthquakepatrol]

@silverwing3007

[derezzcartes]

*hears thunder* thor if thats u bitch i love u

[slightly-taller-than-a-hobbit-d]

Bilbo when Smaug wakes up:

[doodlingbookworm]

*proceeds to insult him*

[stinkylittlegnome]

Gimli, pre-quest: i hate elves. elves are stupid. noone trusts an elf. all elves can fuck off

Gimli, post-quest:

[6i]

in your 20’s find a balance between hustle & rest. you don’t need to have a love life or a soulmate figured out. go travel the world. battle your demons. set up a business, find people who value your heart & yours will attract. don’t live in the past, you have so much more to see

[northernwinedregs]

Hi brain, you obstinate fucker. I drank the clear splashy stuff. I ate the green things. I went under that bright fucker up there. I did the thing with the moving and sweating and whatnot. Now make the happy chemical, you lump of fuck.

[hamster-run-faster]

did you do the thing with lying unconscious for 8 hours

[sanerontheinside]

……… fuck.

[bboyplankton]

😂😂😂