Confused Snapping Turtle

30-something, ace, married, outwardsly a grumpy old man but inside a big skooshy marshmallow who always plays femshep and is SO FUCKING UPSET that femshep can’t romance Tali because SHE IS THE SWEETEST AND BEST ME ROMANCE EVER and no one can change my mind also my background is white because it says #fafafa and I think that’s hilarious

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[woodsdyke]

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

[growingsucculents]

Legs

[sweetchimera-art]

escape

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

[snorlaxatives]

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

[kaiyves-backup]

[afurioushawk]

[deathsmallcaps]

I have such a vivid memory of being like 13, and seeing this ad on YouTube saying that they had gotten childhood smoking down to 7% in America. I was so happy for all my fellow American children. Then the following year, vaping came out.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[anna-antoshchenkova]

Iris - faith, hope, heroism, fearlessness and nobility

[facelessoldgargoyle]

i fucking hate the “this is the good luck post.” Girl stop contributing to a superstitious environment with ur anecdotes there’s a million goddamn notes on it it’s statistically reasonable that a bunch of people remember the good things that happen after they reblog it

[yvfu]

this is the statistically reasonable post, reblogging it will have no effect except for putting this post on your blog

[moral-autism]

guys this post really works! I reblogged it and it really did put the post on my blog! you need to try it!

[solitairians]

whenever I confess to people that i feel like I am just roleplaying as a normal person they're always like noooo you don't strike me as someone who's roleplaying as a normal person at all!!! :) and every time internally im like well yes that's because I am excellent at it

[unofficial-autism-post]

Unofficial Autism Post

[solitairians]

[beardedmrbean]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I was like "wow that's really dark chocolate syrup" before I realised I was just looking at ants

[pankendev]

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

[oneheadtoanother]

idk anything about this but I love it

[lynati]

If any competition needed to be on Tumblr, it's this one.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It just keeps going

[fiddlesticksss]

No worries if not

[molvrae]

Shepard presenting her findings to the Council

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[sparkygremlin]

How have I never kicked the can before???

[loldodgers-deactivated20180416]

What if Mike was short for Micycle

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

every now and then theres a text post that gets stuck in my damn head. here it is. im never going to be free of micycle

[sarahsnitch-deactivated20200608]

What if bike was short for bichael

[wickedlyfrozenandstuff]

saw a post about how Mass Effect gave Shepard the Spectre title in the first game, then killed them off and brought them back in the next, rendering Shepard a literal walking, talking, touchable ghost that haunts their own life

but like. it is crazy that Shepard is specifically a vengeful ghost with unfinished business.

Shepard fended off the first Reaper attack, and is killed before they can stop the actual threat. Then they're brought back to life, with the express purpose of stopping the Reapers, for real this time.

Shepard avenges their own death, finishes their unfinished mission, and then, like all ghosts who resolve their unfinished business, has to go. Maybe they die for real, maybe they only lose their body, but they're not allowed to stay. The purpose of the haunting is over.

like idk how purposeful any of this was, but it is immensely satisfying to me to know that from the moment Shepard wakes up in ME2 they're on borrowed time. Shepard is given enough time to set their untimely death to rights and not a minute more.

[bluejayturion]

ME2 Anderson every time he gets some new intel notification that his dead Commander is blowing shit up and wreaking havoc in the Terminus systems

((So anyway I found the perfect sign today in my city))

[oh-kays-stuff]

shep's large krogan son showing off his ikea plushies he got to cheer you up :)

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