O i Am Slain

Vein | I have been deemed worthy to remain on this earth for yet another day | they/them

[kaylmao]

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

[willabee]

stop drawing willabee only

[stargoyle]

Big announcement:

Fucking petting hims

[pansyfemme]

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

[nighttimepatrons]

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

[nighttimepatrons]

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

[darkandstormyranger]

finally some relatable content on ig

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[that-house]

This is your captain speaking and yeah we’re not landing. I just feel like we’ve got a really good thing up here and I don’t want to ruin it. This is my home and you are my people

[that-house]

We never have to go back

[zurin]

[dragongirlsnout]

don't cry okay? huge as fuck bowl of strawberry

[dragongirlsnout]

Don't cry okay? Huge as fuck container of blueberry

[dragongirlsnout]

don't cry okay? huge as fuck bag of blackberry

[dragongirlsnout]

if i had a quantity of raspberries this large i would end up on the news

[charl0ttan]

dog i gotta move like yesterday

[jellogram]

I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.

[animentality]

[anthonycrowley]

the blog killing axolotl is one of my favorite things that has ever happened on this website because talking about it afterwards sounds like an inside joke or perhaps a prank. like always be on the lookout for the blog killing axolotl. he can kill your blog. it happened to me once trust me.

[anthonycrowley]

there’s this very specific image of an axolotl plushie with the phrase ‘i am at my limit’ that i’m not posting for obvious reasons (even though i’m inoculated because i tried to post it before) that if you try to post it tumblr will immediately delete your blog. like completely. your blog is just gone if you try to post the image. you can get it reinstated but you have to go to staff and be like ‘hi my blog was killed by a picture of an axolotl can you please give me it back.’ we found this out completely accidentally when brianna brucespringsteendotcom made the image and then posted it and then her blog was just gone, at which point we started to experiment. anyway, a while later we found that if someone submits the image and you don’t know what it is and you try to post it it will also nuke your blog. this obviously all sounds like an incredibly stupid internet hoax so when you try to warn people about the blog killing axolotl you just sound like you’re trolling but i promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that we are not.

[anthonycrowley]

people in the tags are like ‘i don’t know if this is true but it sounds wild’ i feel like the old man you meet in the first five minutes of a horror movie that tells the teenagers on spring break not to visit the creepy old house at the end of the road

[anthonycrowley]

FAQs:

1. Is this the image of the axolotl plushie with the fire behind it?

NO! that is a different, more well known axolotl image that does not delete your blog.

2. Can I see the image?

for obvious reasons i'm not reblogging it to this post. however, since so many people asked, i put it safely in a google doc for you. go nuts.

3. hey, i remember this! it was over a year ago. does this still delete your blog?

someone in my askbox has informed me, under certain circumstances, yes. and that image is live, so be careful with it.

4. have you figured out what causes it?

same person in my askbox said this

which was my first theory before i went down the source code rabbit hole, although there must be a certain threshold for editing it since in the past people have posted censored versions where it still deletes your blog.

5. can i use it as my icon/can i send it to someone in dms/can i upload it if it's not in a post/can i post an edited version of the picture?

back when this first happened if you did any of the above it deleted your blog, unless it was pretty heavily edited (someone in my discord put him behind bars - you know like he was caged - and i think when we uploaded that it didn't delete the person's blog? i could be wrong though). see the above ask for the most recent information. someone in the notes earlier (don't remember who, sorry) also said that you can upload the original via mobile and it kills your blog, but if you try to post it on desktop it blocks it from being uploaded, so that's also another route you could go if you want to experiment.

6. why have i never heard about this before?

spnblr is more complex and layered than you can possibly imagine it's not my fault you can't see it for the majesty it is.

7. this still sounds fake.

hey man, weird thing to lie about. but the picture and all the information you need to test it out is right here. post it to your blog. go on. prove me wrong. 🙂

8. didn't people try to remotely delete neil gaiman's blog by submitting that image to him?

we did do that yeah.

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[orcboxer]

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

[catasters]

[shiftythrifting]

you, uh, want some bathtub grappa?

[aflo]

not unless it's Uncle Scary's.

[willgrahamscock]

[janawijete]