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@specialagentfluffstein
types of xmas songs
Jesus was a baby once and he was Very Cool
The Big Red Man Is Coming
Thereās snow outside. thatās good!
Iām alone on xmas and sad
Santa Claus is very sexy
Christmas trees. love em
You know what? itās Christmas time
was just Remembering how youād be out with a friend and youād each order a different cocktail and youād ask āwhatād you get?ā and theyād read the description off the menu and youād be like āooh that sounds goodā and then theyād say ātry it!ā and then youād have a lil sip of their drink and theyād have a lil sip of your drink and youād decide which one was best and you wouldnāt give each other a life-threatening respiratory infection
man oh my god i just remembered my final final exam of high school, my 7th period exam for senior year, held in the auditorium with 2 other classes and like 8 total teachers watching, a guy i was on kinda good terms with asked if id let him cheat off my exam, and i was completely unable to say no to ppl so i was like "of course clifton baby i got u" but i was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE with cheating on exams so i "got up to pee" and our teacher escorted me to the bathrooms and i was like "jack buddy listen, clifton asked me to let him cheat and i said okay but i dont wanna so can u just hover near us so he doesnt get a chance to peek?" and he was like "vicky are u dumb" and i was like "yes" so he stuck near us and after the exam ended i caught clifton after school and was like "omg im so sorry! i can't believe he just hovered around us the whole time! how unfair!" and clifton was like "omg i know! dont feel bad girl its not your fault" but like girl............ it was my fault............. im sorry clifton..............
my little sisterās explanation of where mushrooms come from
He sounds like a fun guy
{ID: three panel comic drawn in shades of brown and black 1. āEvery year in Autumnā A picture of a garden. There are a few plant pots to the right, and a tree growing up the left side of the image. 2. āA little monster comes into our gardenā The little monster. It is small and squat, with a rounded body and head, pointy ears, and a single wide eye. Its hands are up to its face. 3. āAnd plants some mushroomesā Two mushrooms in the grass /end ID}
though I still love Chronicles of Narnia the older I get and the more I learn the clearer it becomes to me why it would have driven Tolkien completely insane
The Santa part almost ruined their friendship
Tolkien: you canāt just patch random things together because you like them, everything has to fit together in a dense textural weave of reasonable causes and effects
Lewis: and then the witch from the other dimension turns the fox to stone for having a contraband tea party ā¦
Tolkein is the nerd that complains that charactersā costumes and weapons are impractical and Lewis is the nerd that thinks the designs fuck
muppet version of knives out where daniel craig is the token human and changes nothing about his performance
You called? š„ŗš„°Ā
(Source)
everyone shut up and look at this
iāma leave this here since some of yāallās racism is jumping tf out on beyoncĆ©ās internet
So, 100% this is some racist shit. But I canāt help but wonder if another part of it is that Twilight and Gossip Girl areĀ āgirlyā, and Star Wars is like a pillar of nerd culture and is suppose to be taken seriously.Ā
So white men, making fun of white girls is like, a seminal part of culture. Comedians have made entire acts about it.Ā
Men of color, making fun of things beloved by white men is one of the most subversive acts that can be committed.Ā
It is intersectional. And also shitty as fuck.
This is a thing Iāve been trying to put into words for A Time
Especially if you remember that everyone fucking loves it when Harrison Ford hates on Star Wars. Should be the same for every actor who does.
dystopian YA novel vibes
āThese pomegranites are a metaphorā Iām dying
March in 3 months
No fuck off i REFUSE
Iāve fallen down a fondant hate rabbit hole
sign me up
wait wait waitā¦..do plague doctor fuckers count as furries or as monster fuckers
GLOCK ness monster
These cats have clearly Never Been Fed Ever, just ask them. They are Storving. They are Wasting Away.
translation, for those wondering:
āYes, yes, thanks for waiting, thanks for waiting. Yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Look out! Look out, look out, look out, look out! Look out, look out! Look out, look out! Look out, look out! Look out, look out, look out! I know, I know! I know, I know, I know, I know, I know! I know, I know, I know, I know! IknowIknowIknowIknowIknowIknow! Stopitstopit! Wait! Wait!ā
IM FUCKING SOBBING THE ONE HANGING OFF THEIR SHIRT LIKE KAJHFDKJSDGHSDJKGHJSLD
Extremely City white people are so fucking weird they see a pic of a deer and theyre like āits an Old God, tell me the wisdom of the trees Forest Lord ā¦ wow this is just like game of thronesā its a deer. Its a fucking stupid idiot animal it doesnt know shit
Yes deer are dumb panicky dinguses in real life, but sometimes a picture will capture one looking all majestic and we justā¦ want to believeā¦
Case in point: this dude
Yes he got like that by being so hormonally addled that he tried to fight a tree. But try to tell me a forest god wouldnāt have big leafy antlers just like that if he were to take a physical form.
who says the old gods arenāt stupid animals who are so hormonally addled theyād try to fight a tree
@librariansheart for your enjoyment
Look, Iāve lived a good chunk of my childhood in a halfway abandoned mountain village in the middle of nowhere. Which meant wildlife galore whether you liked it or not.
And that meant sometimes we saw a deer in the middle of the road at midnight and the majestic motherfucker just stared us down until my mom shredded our tires to stop from hitting him. Once we stopped he did a little half-bow as if saying āYou have not committed an act of godslayer this night. Your bloodline shall bear no curse of mineā, and walked away chill as you please.
The next day a neighbor told us a deer with fucking big antlers got tangled in his fence because it was trying to steal his grapes.
I went on a hike with another neighbor to collect yarrow for tea. A bear came out of the woods towards us, went on its hind legs and inquiringly roared. And he pushed me, tiny as I was back then, behind me out of sight and spread his jacket wide to make himself seem bigger than he already was. He let out a sound I had not known humans were capable of making. He and the bear looked at each other for a moment, and came to an understanding. The bear went down and walked away, respecting a powerful opponent protecting its young.
A week ago, there had been a bear that completely tore apart our trashcan and gorged itself on half-fermented apples we threw away. My cousin had to chase it away, drunk out of its tiny fucking mind, with an umbrella that made weird noises when opened. The bear ran for its life, crashed into our wall, fell on its ass, and scampered away.
I was playing on a swing once, all alone, and a fox came up to me, the most beautiful animal I had seen in my ten years of life. Thinking it wanted to pass, I stopped swinging and sat still not to spook it. But instead of passing, the fox circled the swing, found it wanting, and came to sit before me perfectly poised and looked me in the eye, and I could swear it wished to tell me something but I could not understand the language spoken before human time.
Then my mom came out of the nearby inn, shrieked at the fox and swung her purse to chase it away. The fox jumped, ran off and fell into a ditch, all notions of grace gone with the wind.
What Iām saying is: the old gods are absolutely idiot animals who embraced the life of constant sex and hedonism in return for losing their higher power. Whether or not they regret it, weāll never know.
