I think that if you wanted to insult a vulcan, you could take potshots at their pon farr. But its seen as trashy, a dirty blow, and is likely to lower any vulcan audiences regard for your intellect.
But it wont cause anything more than mild offense because pre-surakian vulcans have already exhausted to death any pon farr related insults to the point where nonvulcans rarely have the cultural knowledge to even come close to the really painful stuff
"You're so horny its making you illogical" is the equivalent of like a "your mama so fat" joke
I got some anons too saying something or other about "uhh uhhh but you're a star trek blog you cant be anti c.ai!"
yes, I can. You are being Reginald Barclay rn, who no one liked, who was addicted to interacting with holo-people, who had ISSUES.
The first episode of Star Trek EVER, the Cage, follows the Talosians, a race of people who became so reliant on entertainment via the creation of illusion that they lost the ability to do ANYTHING for themselves in real life because the illusion was COMFORTING AND PREDICTABLE.
Don't play with me doodoohead I know more about star trek than you do
EXCERPT FROM THE YOUNG VULCAN'S HANDBOOK OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL
translated, with explanatory notes, by Deborah Langsam
[from Spockanalia vol.3]
TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: These are parts of The Young Vulcan's Handbook which deal with the importance of maintaining a healthy body through physical activity. These are basic techniques used in training the pre-adolescent Vulcan.
THE PURPOSE OF EXERCISE -
Each Vulcan should exercise according to his capabilities, in order to bring his body to optimal efficiency. A sub-standard body is susceptible to disease. Those who become ill as a result of their own negligence are wasteful. They do their jobs inefficiently, tend to have poor emotion control, and absorb the time of doctors who might otherwise attend those with non-preventable diseases. It is also aesthetically unpleasant to observe those with improper muscle tone and an imbalance of body fat. (TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: Contrary to popular belief, Vulcans have a strong sense of aesthetic value. One subject was noted as commenting on the beauty of a dilithium crystal.)
EXERCISE PROGRAMS -
Exercise programs should contain a balance between kroichare and ranchare. (TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: literal translation - "stop exertions" and "movement exertions". The nearest English equivalents - isometrics and calisthenics.)
Kroichare emphasizes muscle strength and control. Most basic positions involve the maintenance of muscular contractions. The contractions may exercise small or large motor regions. It is perfectly acceptable to work at achieving unusual strength in the arms or legs. One must not, however, neglect other parts of the body while doing concentrated work in a particular area. There are four basic types of kroichare:
A. Stationary - These are sustained muscular contractions with no locomotive forces; there are no changes in body position during any one exercise. Practice the following exercise for strength and control of the forearm and upper back muscles.
Assume an erect stance with feet comfortably apart. Raise arms sideward to shoulder level. Press the heels of the hands outward (see diagram A). Do not raise the shoulders. The erect stance must be maintained. Be careful not to lean forward or back. Hold this position for ten seconds. Release the muscles by relaxing the hands and dropping the arms to one's sides. Do this exercise at least three times daily. Increase. the duration of the contraction by five seconds every other day until the period of thirty seconds is achieved. This exercise is classified under A2. Exercises of this classification may be done, with some modifications, in a sitting position. For a complete listing, check Appendix A - tape frames 387-407.
B. Sustained Locomotive - These exercises involve the maintenance of muscular control during sustained locomotive exertions. The movements should flow one into the other. Modifications of similar movements are an integral part of traditional and contemporary Vulcan dance. Practice this basic exercise.
Assume an erect stance with feet comfortably apart. Place fists, thumbs outward, on the public bones (the forward lower bones of the pelvic girdle) (see diagram B). Contract the arm, leg, and abdominal muscles. Bend the torso and head forward as slowly and as far as possible. Make sure that they are in a straight diagonal with respect to the stationary legs. Slowly assume the original stance. Try to lower the torso and head more each time. Do this exercise at least two times daily. This exercise is classified under A3. For a complete listing, check Appendix A - tape frames 408-426.
C. Rapid Position Change - These are changes from one muscular contraction or stretch to another. The exercises are especially useful in training precision muscle control. Practice the following exercise.
Sit erectly with legs wide apart, toes pointed and arms sideward to shoulder level (see diagram C 1). Hold for a count of eight. Contract arm, leg, and abdominal muscles strongly. Arms bend up sharply at the elbows and legs bend sharply at the knee. The feet contract strongly so that the toes point up. Lift the chin. Heels should remain in the same position on the floor during the entire exercise (see diagram C 2). Hold this position for a count of eight. Repeat this exercise holding for counts of four, three, two, and one. This exercise is classified under A4. For a complete listing, check Appendix A - tape frames 427-449.
D. Yaschare - These exercises combine physical and mental exertions. They resemble the flaegraisien disciplines of Beta IX and the yoga disciplines of Terra. They are advanced exercises which will be further explained in the Advanced Level Handbook.
Ranchare emphasizes muscular agility and co-ordination. Most basic exertions involve locomotive forces; the body is almost constantly in motion. They usually involve large motor regions and characteristically cause very rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing and increased glandular activity. There are two types of ranchare.
A. Pramchare - These exercises are characterized by the repeated sequences of specific body positions. Practice the following exercise.
Position 1 - Torso erect, arms at sides, legs together, feet parallel.
Position 2 - Torso erect, arms at sides, legs wide apart, feet parallel.
Position 3 - Torso erect, right arm forward, left arm back, right leg back, left leg forward.
Position 4 - Torso erect, right arm back, left arm forward, right leg forward, left leg back.
Assume position 1. Jump to position 2. Jump to position 1. Jump to position 3. Jump to position 1. Jump to position 4. Jump to position 1. Be sure to maintain opposition in positions 3 and 4. It is advisable to precede this exercise with less strenuous ones. Repeat this ten times daily with increasing speed. This exercise is classified under B3. For a complete listing check Appendix B - tape frames 553-570.
B. Thailchare - Each activity in this category is a combination of many basic skills. These activities are more adaptable than any other form of exercise; the individual may initiate and refine a technique which proves particularly successful to his performance of the activity. Sports fall into this category. (TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: The Vulcan word which I have rendered as "sports" includes a variety of non-competitive activities as well as the ones which Terrans commonly associate with this term. The portion which follows in the original manuscript, which I have ommitted, is a listing and discussion of various activities included in this category, i.e., swimming, field and track, dancing, competition with archaic weapons, gymnastics, trampoline.)
Although exercise is included within your school schedule, you should also exercise as part of your private daily routine. This is a necessary preparation for adulthood, when exercise is exclusively one's own responsibility. You will find that exercise is helpful in pain and emotion control; concentrate on a muscular contraction when you are inclined toward emotional reaction. Advanced exertions will be introduced into your exercise programs as you progress in skill and physical development.
******************************
Aichare is an exercise programmed to aid emotional control, permit communication of certain intellectual processes, and increase control of and circulation to certain of the smaller, precisely controllable muscles.
The subject stands relaxed, facing forward, facial muscles completely motionless. At the proper stimulus, first raise, then lower either eyebrow once.
AU where humans have pokémon and they are assigned to starships along with the rest of the crew for assistance.
• Pokémon also go through starfleet but have a different special pokemon training.
• Not everyone on the crew gets to have a pokémon though. Theres limited space (and resources) so theyre usually only registered with the department heads.
• Crewmembers often have fond memories of their pokémon friends back home though.
• Not every pokémon even gets to be assigned to starships. Some are too big.
• Chansey still get assigned to medical
• Lucario and other such fighting pokémon are assigned to security
• Rotom or Magnemite are assigned to engineering
• Various plant pokémon are usually kept in the arbetoreum to assist with botanical research
• Alakazam pair well with Vulcans and are often assigned to work alongside them.
• Its recommended to keep pokémon like espurr and psyduck away from psychic species
• Ferengi are fond of Meowth
• Andorians enjoy how ice pokémon provide a pleasant cooling effect
• Its a tradition for Starship captains (particularly on the enterprise) to be given eevees which they then evolve to match their captaining style.
• Starship gyms can also be used for pokémon battles
• Arceus is still the god and creator of everything
• Instead of the probe needing to talk with humpback whales, it needed to talk with wailords
• The Federation (human) journey to befriend every species in the galaxy goes alot smoother because everyone is terrified of them and their scary powerful pets
an outsider’s guide to the Vulcan Marriage Ceremony
Intro
So you've been invited to a Vulcan wedding. Despite what is commonly thought, Vulcans are very passionate people. Like most unions, a Vulcan wedding is an occasion of great emotion. Unlike most weddings, this strong emotion is very rarely the classic sweet and romantic love.
At its most civilized, a Vulcan wedding is the completion of a contract: the arranged marriage a couple was chosen for in childhood. At their most primal, a Vulcan wedding is brutal and even deadly.
If you have the opportunity to attend, you're witnessing their most sacred ceremony; Nearly unchanged for tens of thousands of years.
LOCATION
Vulcans do not typically rent out venues for their marriages but rather have dedicated locations for special ceremonies (such as this one).
These are usually owned by a clan or even one specific family line. This venue may even be in a home yard.
In the inner circle there will be a raised platform. On this is the gong, held up by a stand.
Several paces in front will be the fire pit. This will be lit and blazing before the ceremony even starts. Some weddings simply have a bowl of coals and some have special superheated rocks that spit plumes of smoke. Other decorations are sparse and include the typical arrangement of torches and hanging items.
Marriage Party
GROOM
The man that is getting married. Traditionally, he will often be the first or among the first to arrive. If he is late, the others will wait for him to arrive; the wedding cannot officially start without him. He will be dressed in his nicest robes or suit. Often these will be decorated with clan colors, mating colors, traditional calligraphy, and/or clan iconography.
BRIDE
The woman that is getting married. Vulcan women prefer to wear dresses custom tailored for their wedding. She wants to look her most attractive for her prospective mate. She is not limited to white or silver and can choose any color that suits her best, but likely she will want to wear traditional mating colors, clan colors and/or clan iconography.
OFFICIATOR OF CEREMONIES
An esteemed elder that leads the proceedings. This is often a clan matriarch but it doesn't have to be. Regardless, they must be licensed and extremely well versed in the traditions. If the officiator is someone very important they may choose to enter in style carried by servants on a litter. They will also carry with them a ceremonial staff.
BRIDESMAIDS AND GROOMSMEN
Both bride and groom are permitted a small selection of companions for emotional and moral support. If their robes are long or the bride has a train, their crew must ensure the fabric is unintrusive. If the bride chooses to challenge, her champion may be among this retinue. This cohort will also be dressed nicely. It is not required they be in uniform but traditionally their garb and colors complement the party member to whom they are associated.
EXECUTIONER
This individuals presence ensures to enforce order. They are directed by the officiator. When an attendee present displays an act of cowardice, they will use a shirpa (type of ceremonial axe) to cut off their head. For the most part this is not necessary and simply holding the shirpa threateningly close is enough. They will also prevent members from interfering with the rituals excepting those that the officiator approves.
BELL HANDLERS
These two individuals carry the marriage bells which will tring lightly throughout the ceremony. Displaying the Vulcan flair for dramatics, the handlers purpose is to shake the bells at the right times. This serves as an indicator that the ceremony is progressing to the next step of the process.
WEAPON BEARERS
These two individuals’ purpose is to carry the weapons (2 lirpas and 2 ahn'woons) for the challenge. Their presence is required even if it is not expected that the bride will challenge.
GUESTS
Other family members, associates and community invited to attend and bear witness. If you are a guest yourself, you have no role besides standing among the other guests and observing unintrusively. You should be neatly groomed and appropriately well-dressed. If the groom is expected to be in pon farr during the wedding, no one is permitted to attend besides the marriage party.
NOTE❕: Some are under the mistaken impression that Vulcan couples can only get married in the midst of pon farr. This is not true. They can get married whenever they feel they're ready. However there are a few reasons why they might choose to combine the two events. A. In many clans, both are significant life milestones so it makes logical sense to combine them. B. Some individuals may view it as a natural progression of events; The fever comes with a sudden magnified desire to be as close as possible to the other person, otherwise hastening the timeline.
KOON-UT; MARRIAGE
Before the groom even arrives, the marriage party must be prepared and on their way. Any guests will usually arrive early as well, adhering strictly to the time they were invited.
When the groom arrives he must strike the gong, continuing in several minute intervals until everyone required is present. This not only signifies the start of the event but also is used to summon the bride to the arena.
They enter the premises in this order: Bell Handlers leading, The Officiant and their servants (if applicable), The Bride and her crew, The Executioner, and lastly the Weapon Bearers. They will take their places around the outer rim of the arena.
Once all party members are accounted for, the groom must greet the officiant and bow before them. They will engage in a meld and appraise his mental state.
Once the officiant is satisfied the groom is ready, they will shout "kal-if-farr" and the ceremony has officially begun. The bell handlers will follow the groom to the gong and take their places in front of the platform, facing each other.
The groom will bang the gong again to summon the bride to the inner circle. This is where she has to make her choice. If she chooses challenge she must prevent him from banging the gong and announce the "kal-if-fee". If she chooses marriage, she allows him to bang the gong. Both bride and groom kneel on the platform opposite from each other and meet fingers in the ozh'esta. The officiator begins their speech.
-> "What we are about to witness comes down from the time of the beginning, without change. This is the Vulcan heart. This is the Vulcan soul. This is our way. Kal-if-farr."
After the officiator is done with their speech, they meld with the bride and groom to complete the bond and tie them together. The bride and groom stand up, still touching and the officiator announces they are united.
-> "[Name], [Name], Thee hast pledged thyselves to each other in the Koon-ut-kal-if-fee. May thee live long and prosper together."
The newlyweds leave the premises together. If the male is in pon farr, they will go to a secluded prepared location (ancient caves, re-dator, or a clan house). If he is not, they will go home to immediately begin their year-long Vulcan-style honeymoon. They may stop to greet their guests at this time before they leave but most do not.
The wedding party will leave in the order in which they arrived and any guests will leave soon after. The person hosting (usually a parent or grandparent) may choose to offer the guests tea and marriage treats (like Tufeen Hushani cake) for a short while before they leave. Hosting a big reception ceremony is disapproved of due to its associations with the illogically flamboyant post-wedding receptions in vulcans pre-reformation days.
KAL-IF-FEE; CHALLENGE
If the bride prevents the groom from banging the gong and chooses kal-if-fee, she invokes the ancient ritual as described in the following process.
The officiant asks the bride if she's prepared to become property of the victor. It is unknown what would happen to her if she says no; however in the ancient past, she could potentially be executed for issuing the challenge and then changing her mind.
-> NOTE❕: Outsiders often become alarmed at the use of the word property here. viewing it as equivalent of classical slavery. It is true that the custom is antiquated and harkens to Vulcan's dark past where a wife had few rights. This has been softened in modern times. However it still remains for many reasons. Here are a few primary ones: A. to dissuade a wife from divorcing her husband on a whim, leaving him mateless thus risking his life. B. To provide a husband with the legal right to enact revenge on rival suitors (within acceptable reason) without the fear of significant legal consequences. C. To formalize the battle between two or more Vulcan males intention to claim an unmarried female. Additionally, The Vulcan legal definition of property as applied to mates can also be used by Vulcans to bypass laws of other federation worlds that would normally restrict spouses’ rights in certain situations.
The officiant then asks the groom if he accepts the challenge "according to [our] laws and customs". If he is deep in the plak tow and cannot respond verbally, a simple short nod will do. Although it is likely that his lack of refusal speaks for itself.
The officiant tells the bride to choose her champion. She does so with the ritual words: "As it was in the dawn of our days, as it is today, as it will be for all tomorrows, I make my choice. This one. " She approaches him to make it clear to all whom she has chosen. Then she leaves the arena and takes her place to the side as an observer.
The officiant goes to the gong, bangs it, and announces the challenge has begun. At that, the weapon bearers tie a ceremonial sash around the groom’s waist.
The bell handlers began orbiting the inner circle in opposite directions, shaking their bells as they go. It is currently unknown what purpose this ritual serves, but it seems to somehow prepare the groom for the ensuing fight.
After the officiant announces the conclusion of the bell ritual, the champion must approach the inner circle and decide whether to accept. If he does not, he may be executed due to cowardice.
The officiant introduces the fight by saying: "Here begins the act of combat for possession of the woman, [Her name]. As it was at the time of the beginning, so it is now. Bring forth the lirpa." Then the weapon bearers approach with the two lirpas. They kneel to the floor and present them to the two combatants. The officiant says "If both survive the lirpa, combat will continue with the ahn'woon." The officiant then leaves the arena.
The fighting proceeds until either one combatant is killed or the officiant yells "kroykah" and stops the fight.
If both are still alive, the officiator announces the ahn'woon. The weapon bearers bring both weapons to the combatants. They carry away the lirpas as they return to their place, making sure to collect all pieces if either are broken.
The fighting continues until one of the combatants is killed. The officiant then yells "Kroykah" again to stop the aggression from going further. This concludes the ritual and awards the victor their win and spoils. The weapon bearers collect the ahn'woons and the ritual sash.
The victor may then decide what to do with their newly acquired spouse. If the victor is the groom and still in pon farr, they may resume with the marriage as normal. Or he may choose to refuse her for daring to make the challenge.
If the victor is her champion, they can proceed with the marriage as if it was their own. Or, he may also reject her if he was chosen against his wishes.
The marriage party leaves as normal.
I hope this guide was educational and adequately prepared you for your participation in the vulcan marriage ceremony. Remember to follow all the rules, don't speak out of turn, and you will likely live to tell the tale.
AU where humans have pokémon and they are assigned to starships along with the rest of the crew for assistance.
• Pokémon also go through starfleet but have a different special pokemon training.
• Not everyone on the crew gets to have a pokémon though. Theres limited space (and resources) so theyre usually only registered with the department heads.
• Crewmembers often have fond memories of their pokémon friends back home though.
• Not every pokémon even gets to be assigned to starships. Some are too big.
• Chansey still get assigned to medical
• Lucario and other such fighting pokémon are assigned to security
• Rotom or Magnemite are assigned to engineering
• Various plant pokémon are usually kept in the arbetoreum to assist with botanical research
• Alakazam pair well with Vulcans and are often assigned to work alongside them.
• Its recommended to keep pokémon like espurr and psyduck away from psychic species
• Ferengi are fond of Meowth
• Andorians enjoy how ice pokémon provide a pleasant cooling effect
• Its a tradition for Starship captains (particularly on the enterprise) to be given eevees which they then evolve to match their captaining style.
• Starship gyms can also be used for pokémon battles
• Arceus is still the god and creator of everything
• Instead of the probe needing to talk with humpback whales, it needed to talk with wailords
• The Federation (human) journey to befriend every species in the galaxy goes alot smoother because everyone is terrified of them and their scary powerful pets
Imagine finding out about your destiny to die a stupid and pointless death so you take steps to try to avoid it but eventually die of a stupider more pointless death
The steps you take you avoid it are by trying to die for a heroic last stand but that doesnt work because the enemy youre fighting decides to spare your life
Its because the enemy general fell in love with you and he tells you they'll spare the rest of your friends life (including the guy you're in love with) if you marry him. You accept of course but you never get to find out if he kept to his word because youre whisked away to his homeland
You end up having a kid with the enemy general and eventually try to escape with your child in tow but it doesnt work (because your child is too young to understand why you dont like their other parent and throws a tantrum at leaving, alerting the guards). And for the crime of trying to leave, youre executed.
Your child grows up and becomes an enemy general themselves, making the war between your peoples even worse.
Imagine finding out about your destiny to die a stupid and pointless death so you take steps to try to avoid it but eventually die of a stupider more pointless death
My daughter has just discovered that Threshold Day approacheth.
"What do we do for Threshold Day?" she asks, quite beside herself with excitement.
"Well, some people make art, or write things...."
"I'M GOING TO MAKE ART. RIGHT NOW,“ she cries, leaping off the couch. "EXAMPLES, I NEED EXAMPLES!*"
She has asked me to show you this thrilling beginning, and then also, later, her completed work.
*Notably, she told me, the bigger salamander was busy eating soup. She does not know about Tom Paris Hot Plain Tomato Soup, so I can only assume I passed this sacred knowledge down to her genetically.
This might already be common knowledge and only news to me as a recent trekkie but before the day is over in most time zones, well...
I had assumed that all the lizards were puppets and the babies might be (couldn't find anything that would indicate otherwise) but. Salamander Janeway and Paris were played by human beings in costumes.
Susan Rossitto and Cindy Sorensen are the ones who played the Threshold lizards.
Both of them went uncredited and Susan Rossitto also passed away in 2013, but here are pictures of them:
"they had lizard babies and then no one mentioned it again" actually wrong. i fully believe that off screen neelix brought it up once a day for three weeks. served salamander-approved cuisine to give them a taste of what life was like as a lizard. asks what it was like frequently and for some reason follows up any answer with "oh i went through something like that once!" and then shares a barely related story. they dine with alien ambassadors and he's like "yup! crazy things happen on voyager!" and shares the whole story again while janeway contemplates murder and tom disassociates. i'm going to rewrite voyager but instead of making it better i'm just gonna make the salamanders haunt the narrative.
people like to put all the blame for leaving the salamander babies behind on chakotay but i’d like to point out that tuvok was also there and there’s no way in hell he wasn’t ready to sweep all that under the rug
if chakotay had insisted on taking the salamander babies tuvok would be chucking them out the airlock the moment they hit warp. he’s a ride or die for the captain and her reputation. not even the chance to humiliate tom can override his desire to save her from that embarrassment
tags from @bumblingbabooshka : #Tuvok would absolutely lose those things as fast as possible #1] Disobeys Chakotay’s order (Not the Captain) #2] Better for the Captain (Janeway) whom he knows best #Chakotay: Ok are the….lizards?? Alright? #Tuvok: -putting them back on the planet and then closing the shuttle’s back door- They are quite comfortable Commander. #Like I /could/ see a world where Chakotay reluctantly is like I guess we should bring these things with us?? #But Tuvok is always like No we should not we shouldn’t and also we cant have you forgotten Starfleet rule xyz???????? #returning to first scenario- after Chakotay explains to Janeway that they were gonna bring those lizards on board but #they SOMEHOW got out and remained on the planet he leaves #and Janeway’s playfully like ‘They got lost huh~??’ And Tuvok’s like ‘My apologies. It seems I was negligent in my duties.’ #and Janeway smiles and claps him on the shoulder and says ‘Not to your captain.’ Which (translated) means ‘thanks for that buddy’
