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@spirallingoutofcontroldotcom
There's some serious penis fuckery going on in the ski jumping world
They're calling it penisgate/crotchgate...
World sport's anti-doping body has vowed to look into the lurid claims that first surfaced in a German newspaper in January.
Archive link: https://archive.is/dwVgu
Fun, insane, sourced!
This is a fucking beautiful piece of internet right there!
Phil has him so well trained (and you know he loves doing his little acts of service)
cause after all of this time, i'm still into you
can anyone hear me
THEY'RE REALLY CUTE
I fuckin love hard launch. you've got the married couple bickering, a dash of jealousy, a suspiciously autism shaped elephant in the room, something mild-moderately threatening to your mental state, and at least one anecdote from 15 years ago that misaligns your entire psyche for the next week.
whatever this is
and I know two twinks that are committed to both
the thing is. you couldn't fucking write this. not even in my wildest dreams did i ever think yeah dan and phil are gonna hard launch and then announce a podcast called hard launch and then the next day they post a selfie in bed and then the next day dan tweets fifty times in one afternoon joking about breaking up and then the next day they're spotted filming at the london eye and then the next day they make their first red carpet appearance in seven years and it's at a gay bdsm film and then the next day it's october 19th and then the next day the first episode of the podcast comes out and they talk about a previously untold gay scandal anecdote
and then dan posts a story about how they were "accidentally" giving sub/dom vibes at the gay bdsm film premiere
AND THEN THEY POST A SELFIE ON FUCKING OCTOBER 19TH FROM THE FUCKING LONDON EYE
and then they make a tiktok with a popular couple questions trend in which they answer that dan was interested first and they think phil said i love you first although they're not sure
and then they post the london eye video and it turns out to be a whole ass anniversary vlog and the staff at the eye recognize them and upgrade them to the cupid's pod experience for free and then they get white girl wasted on garlic shots and heavily imply they fucked at the end of that vlog
a curated compilation
announcing our most important joint project ever! the phaby
the many phaces of phear during the “are we gay did we fuck” that made me glad to know phil was also terrified and it wasn’t just me
hopping on the “moon is a petname for phil” theory and crying
oh 🥺 and also
‘moon’ and ‘pig’ 2017 and 2021
i think people with memory issues should start spitting on people who say "if u cared u wouldve remembered". we should start biting and killing <3 for funsies
Okay but them calling each other “friend” and talking about their “friendship” while filming a video in a house they bought together years ago also sharing with us texts that show how much codependent they are IT’S SO FUNNY like.. I appreciate their audacity
They committed to the bit and I truly cannot be mad about it. Hey welcome to Dan and Phil come watch us smash our cocks together in our sex dungeon. As friends tho.
