Marvel is the shit. My shit. @spooder-doo - Tumblr Blog

"the tuna meltdownTM would have ended with them being exclusive if Ilya had only been straightforward with Shane." WRONG. unironically the best way for Ilya to sneak Shane into being exclusive would be like "hey going no condoms would be hot, yes. 😄 but not safe. 🙁 but wHAT IF we both got tested and then didn't sleep with other people when we're apart??? good idea because then we can fuck raw?! safely!"

and then he waits and brings up the "actually I'm not sleeping with other people because i'm not interested in doing that" later, once Shane has acclimatized like a frog.

4me2knowandyou2wonder

”Hollander. Hollanderrr. Holllaannderrr.” Rozanov drew out the name longer each time, demanding attentions. Shane finally snapped his eyes up to meet Rozanov’s.

“What.”

“Health testing for Boston was one two weeks ago.” Rozanov had his eyebrows raised like this was supposed to mean something. It did not.

“Okay?”

“I got my STI results.”

Shane stilled beneath Rozanov.

Rozanov felt it and rubbed a deft hand up Shane’s bare side. “I’m completely clean.”

Shane relaxed at that but his anxiety was quickly replaced with confusion. Why was Rozanov saying this? “Good for you.”

Rozanov lips curled up like they did when Shane did something boring. Shane frowned.

“Are you clean? Do you know?” Rozanov prompted.

Oh.

“Uh, yeah. I am.”

Shane can’t remember the last time he got tested but it didn’t matter. He knew how many sexual partners he’d had since (one) and (now) he knew that man’s status (completely clean).

“Why?” Shane ventured.

“I have been thinking, about…” Rozanov thumbed at the lube resting by Shane’s head. “Maybe only using this. Not…” he met Shane’s eyes and Shane folded like a house of cards. Whatever he was about to say, he was getting. “Maybe not using a condom this time.”

Oh fuck

Shane couldn’t move for 4 minutes after he came. It was about 6 more before Rozanov gained enough strength to pull himself off of Shane’s chest.

“Hollander,” Rozanov’s voice was breathy and plan-less. Then, “I’m getting rid of all my condoms.”

Shane let out a huffed disproving laugh. It was all he had strength for.

Rozanov’s arm was swung around his own head, and his hand played mercilessly with his ear. “We could stop using them. But…”

Shane frowned. “What?”

“We would both have to stop hooking up with other people.”

Shane didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t hooking up with other people.

Rozanov soldiered on. “It would be worth it for me. Would it be worth it for you?” A pause. “Do you want to?”

Did Shane want Rozanov to stop hooking up with anyone else just so he could ride Shane bareback roughly six times a year? It was shameful how much the answer was yes.

“Yeah okay let’s do it.” Shane said, calm out of sheer force of will.

Rozanov didn’t reply, he just swung around to shove his tongue into Shane’s mouth with the force of a thousands suns and didn’t pull away until he’d soaked up every noise he could draw out of Shane.

I guess this means they were exclusive now.

tryingmybestst

when shane joins the cens the first practice is kinda weird and off and shane can’t figure out what’s going wrong until later that night when he realizes that none of the rookies talked to him directly or looked him the eye the whole time. and he’s like wtf do they not respect me are they homophobic?? ilya has to clue him in like babe they have your posters on their walls they’re intimidated you’re the best player in the league they don’t know how to talk to you. the next practice this is proven when one of the rooks bravely breaks away from the group and walks up to shane. he looks like he’s gonna pass out when he asks shane to sign his stick

morganbritton132

Steve kisses Eddie.

He's a freshman in high school and this nice drug dealer guy is showing him how to smoke a joint so he doesn't beef it in front of all his friends, and...he's kinda cute.

And then Steve kisses him.

And Eddie kisses back.

And they're making out at a random table in the woods until - "Whoa."

"You okay?"

"Sorry," Steve says. "Sorry, man. I'm actually going to do the whole gay thing - bi thing? I think I still like girls - in a couple of years. I want to be popular first."

"...We can still do this if you're in the closet. I can keep a secret."

"I’m not in the closet. I’m just going to be - whatever I am later."

Eddie is just, "... You're scheduling being gay?"

Steve thinks about it and, "...Yes."

"You can't do that."

"Um, yeah I can. Free country."

"What," Eddie starts and stops. He takes a breath and asks, "Do you have 'be a homosexual' penciled in your calendar four years from now?"

"I don't think they make multi-year calendars like that."

Because that's the only issue with this conversation, not pushing your gay awakening down the road. Eddie can't even point out that all of this is absurd because Steve is just like, fingerguns, "Anyways, if you're free in a couple years, hit me up."

"For what, a meeting on the gay agenda?"

"Or to make out," Steve shrugs as he packs up his stuff. "You're a good kisser. See ya, Munson."

Eddie doesn't hit Steve up.

And then Steve shows up after the Upside Down tries to eat them with an old planner like, "Hey, man. I think we have a meeting."

flodaya

obsessed husband and wife (part 2 of many)

gaynehollander

If there's anything that the completely unprompted "I kind of prefer being the hole rather than the peg" and Rose's delighted reaction to it proves, it's that Shane Hollander finally has someone to talk to about sex other than the person he's having it with. Rose's "how's jacking off?" goes on to further prove this theory.

He's still a bit awkward about it at first but Rose is always just so excited for him and never judges him and it's not like she's keeping quiet about what she gets up to so eventually Shane is literally calling her like "I finally convinced Ilya to fuck me with no prep! He probably still wouldn't have done it except for the fact that it was only like an hour since he fucked me last but it was so hot he just pushed me down on the kitchen counter, pulled down my pants, lubed up, and slid right in."

Sometimes he just needs someone to tell him that he's not being weird before he's brave enough to ask Ilya for a new thing, like when he first saw Ilya play Call of Duty with Marleau on headset and he wanted to ask if he could just stay on his knees with his cock in his mouth while he played if he promised to not move.

Rose sends him a link to a spreader bar close to Ilya's birthday and Shane loses his ever loving mind. Ilya ends up sending her 600 roses as a thank you.

twocloudsinthesky

I need more Ilya out freaking other players when they chirp about his relationship. Some hockey player says "you're just Hollander's little bitch" and he answers "yes we have leash and collar with my name" in such a straight face no one can tell if it's a joke or if he's serious. Or he makes a goal and someone says "does he reward you for being good later" and he says "yeah I'm only allowed to cum when I score".

I mght actually end up writing this if I can figure out better/more examples.

xsteddiegoingsteady

Secret relationship Steddie where Steve is REALLY good at pretending not to know Eddie because of all the years of being King Steve but Eddie is really fucking bad at it.

So all of Eddie's bandmates clock it immediately but they think that Eddie is pining helplessly after former-king-of-Hawkins-High turned weird co-parent Steve.

They try to help. They're really bad wingmans.

Robin is laughing her ass off. Steve thinks it's sweet.

avorthuades

the day mike's life began was the day will's life ended and the day will's life got to begin again mike's life ended, so really, they just passed each other by. they never got to have any sort of life together even as friends and i think that is beautifully tragic

karust

Ragebaiters

kidovna

bylerlumax picnic double date (summer of ‘94)

happy valentines day!

camrlart

i love this au

pchvunk

can’t stop thinking about Eddie having a metal record playing in his room one time when Steve and him fuck and now every time Eddie plays that album in the car Steve starts thinking about shirtless Eddie and gets a boner.

Eddie loves it.

cosycryptid

Eddie's reading over his latest lyrics because there are just a couple of words he doesn't really love and knows could be better, he's sitting on the floor with his back against Steve's couch, chewing the end of his pen as his eyes roam over the page. Jonathan is storyboarding ideas for photoshoots, papers spread out over the coffee table.

They're both only half listening as Steve tries to convince them, Robin and Nancy to go to Dustin's birthday gokarting experience with the teens because he doesn't think he can handle it alone.

"Steve, you love driving and you literally keep unruly children in check for a living," Robin points out. "I don't see the issue here."

"Robin's right, this sounds like your idea of a great day out," Nancy adds.

"It's going to be hell," Steve argues. "Every single one of those kids has a knack for putting themselves in danger and now they're going to be behind the wheels of moving vehicles. Have you seen Max's driving?!"

He presses his hand to his head like he's getting a headache just thinking about it.

"And I'm going to have to wear a helmet, which is going to destroy my hair. You know that's my best feature! I'm like that Sadson guy from the bible, if you ruin my hair you ruin the whole thing."

Robin rolls her eyes. "It's Samson, Dingus."

"Also, I'm sorry to break it to you Steve, but your hair doesn't even make the top three." Nancy admits.

Steve looks at her like she's said something crazy.

"What else is it gonna be?"

"Lips, eyes and hands," Jonathan says absentmindedly.

"Ass, chest and thighs," Eddie says at the exact same time.

The room falls silent. Eddie and Johnathan's expressions remind Robin of when Steve sobered up after Starcourt and realised he'd given the Russian henchmen his best friend's personal information.

"Oh my god." Nancy says like she's trying to hold back her laughter.

Robin is silent for all of five seconds and then turns to point at a gobsmacked Steve.

"I KNEW IT. I fucking told you, Steve!"