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*chucks block of wood at face*

[that-one-idiot-11]

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

[peachfromcmbyn]

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

[nixpunk]

[24ozsteak]

you ever just hand things to ur pet to sniff so they can feel included

[podracer]

Dune if I was in charge

[theehorsepusssy]

[shock-micro]

don't cry because it's over. attack. attack everything around you. do spin attacks

[04032021]

[youre-only-gay-once]

NOTHING could have prepared me for the rest of the" environment so toxic" scene

[fertbutt]

guinea pig instagram accounts are so funny cause the captions will be like "uh oh! pumpkiwumpkin is being extra sassy today!" and the picture is literally just

[tigerking-of-kings]

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot

[woman-becomer]

just found out I'm going to be reincarnated into a single sprig of grain. barley apparently. Not cool man. I didn't even know plants was an option on the table. this is bullshit

[woman-becomer]

these tags make me so mad because you're right

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

you're a magical girl now, the last thing you ate is your magical girl name is it good?

yes

no

it's perfect

it's awful

it's funny, i love it

results

Voting ended onFeb 25

[important-cat-pics]

[winterthebeau]

[notund]

this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

2. hitting the baby will still win you the game

[tidal-chaos]

[hungry-hobbits]

not to screenshot a twitter post but please look at this animal

"is that ok . "

[themainspoon]

I actually kinda like getting overseas ads because of my VPN

Do not worry Auckland, I am on my way...

[musubeans]

saw a car dragging a labubu facedown through the street