Why do they even make apps for ADHD. You want me to use my 24/7 handheld immediate distraction device? To manage my 'gets distracted too easily' disorder? Ooooh we developed the perfect tool for managing your anemia. Its hosted in Dracula's castle. đ
*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:
Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means weâre more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesnât have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.
Which means if youâre exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isnât actually sterile - thatâs a myth - but youâre *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - thatâs how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldnât be there.)
Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc
So Iâve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.
If youâre one of the people saying âYou meant âwomenââ, fuck you. I meant âpeople who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereofâ, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.
And you should pee afterward, so you donât get a UTI.
Keep this in mind if you recently started having sex again after vaginoplasty. It's a super important habit to get into. Especially if you weren't super careful about it preop.
This is the like those âremember to be grateful you donât have a sore throat right nowâ posts. It IS a beautiful day to not be in high school! Thank you!
so fucking humbling to be like âno I like that character a normal amountâ and then you can literally feel your heart rate spike at a mention of them like a dog that just heard the word âtreatâ
True. Most Irish people, as Norwegians do with Trolls, will happily let the 'fairies' be a thing to make tours for tourists and idle threats to make children behave. Most Irish people will have a very normal and mature explanation of fairies as a common folk mythology that expresses some dimension of Irish culture but are not, obviously, to be taken literally.
And most Irish people, if you ask them to move a stone from a fairy circle will immoveably, flatly respond with 'absolutely fucking not'.
Construction projects have had to halt and be abandoned for it.
At work me and a couple coworkers (black, white, and mexican) had a fun discussion on whether there are more ghosts at a hospital or a cemetery.
everyone individually took a moment to specify that ghosts probably aren't REAL real. then weighed in on where and why.
for the record my position was that there's probably way more ghosts in hospitals because that's where people die horribly, but since you can only see ghosts in dark, solitary conditions, graveyards at night is where the majority of ghost sightings occur. hospitals are usually well lit and busy, so even if they're crammed with ghosts the living are too damn busy to see them. meanwhile if a cemetery has even one ghost that followed her corpse there from the hospital, she'll be spotted because that's where all the ghost hunters go to look.
this theory was received as extremely sensible, and a coworker drew the conclusion that that's why abandoned hospitals are even scarier than graveyards. once the place gets abandoned then you can tell how much ghosts got built up.
we all liked this explanation a lot and explained it to everyone else all night. and of course, none of us believe in ghosts.
I usually only do my 6 favorite companions per game, but with this one only having 7 and no dlc, it felt too cruel and targeted to leave only one out- also itâs the last one ! So letâs end it on a high note <3
[COMMISSIONS] - [DAO] [DA2] [DAI]
Below you'll find my sketch lineup, as well as a perfectly reasonable amount of yapping about my thoughts on this game and these characters. Reasonable as always. vvv
What will follow is of course only my opinion, and if you want to skip to a specific character their names are highlighted in red for convenience !
No matter what I will criticize about this game, and by god is there a lot to say, when I reached the final quest I was pretty sad because I didnât want it to end. And thatâs something I respect, no matter how bad some aspects are I had fun ! I enjoyed my time with it a lot ! Itâs a pretty game, the combat is fun, your companions are charming, the areas varied and the ending was incredible !
You know, I came to this with the moderate expectations one has when a game has mixed reviews on steam. My guess as to why it received such harsh criticism before I tried it for myself was 1) that it was probably just ok, or even pretty good, but came a year *after* Baldurâs Gate 3, a masterpiece of a game that is unfortunately for Dragon age in the exact same niche- and 2) it probably got spam reviewed by "anti-woke" (read : fascists) dumbass mad a game has queers and people of colors in it... and these came out true. But what I did not expect, was the game being such a *direct* sequel as to open in such a fashion that is sure to confuse and alienate new players, but also the ones who *did* play the previous game(s) who came out 10 whole years before- the game was rigged from the start, bioware shot their own foot in the first 30 minutes, itâs tragic- but if your fans decide to stick around, what you want to do next is basically nuke your own lore ? You can keep the names, but everything is wrong or just weird but in a worse way :)) they'll love that-
But you know, in this economy (dragon age games), "pretty good" means itâs still better than half the other games in the franchise imo :)) congrats on second place Veilguard đđđ (canât wait to be cooked for this opinion-)
Before anything else, I need to rant about Varric- first of all, I'm really puzzled by his design. Why the beard ? And more importantly why isnât he blond ??? Game are you telling me he was box bleaching his hair all this time ?? If thatâs the case I'm mad he didnât have roots in dai. But more seriously, when he is alive he feels like a parody of himself :( dropping "Biancas" in every sentence. Is it a front ? Is he trying to live up to his fame despite his age catching up to him ? Maybe but well, we donât get to see more because after the first 30 minutes itâs Solas impersonating hours and he is. not good at playing Varric- I truly believe it would have been better to really kill him off 30 minutes in. Commit to this choice cowards, let us sit in his absence, let Rook be placed in a position theyâre not prepared for let them fail let them fall to get back up again stronger. Them being the only one seeing Varric could have been interesting, but the game does *nothing* with it. Itâs a cool creepy idea getting wasted because none of the people around Rook ever bring it up or allude to something being wrong, and worst of all "Varric" is never interesting. I never thought I'd see the day when I'm bored talking to *Varric* ! And the reveal isnât even worth the secrecy because you see it coming so you donât even really get the surprise effect- which even if I did wouldnât erase all the insipid discussions you have with either a forced and empty father/mentor figure or a badly written established character depending on if veilguard is your first game of the series. The game is missing a whole first act with Varric alive to be able to pull the trick it tried...
Last nail in the coffin (haha) were the extradiegetic narrations... while having stunning visuals, they're dogshit and make no fucking sense narratively. Is it Varric talking ? Why ? did he write a book like in DA2 ? No he's dead. Is it Solas then ? Well if it is who is he talking to and can he stop backsitting me !! The narrator Varric framing in DA2 was really good because it recontextualized what you were watching as 1) being in the past and 2) unreliable because itâs told by Varric, who loves lying, to an unfriendly cop lady who's interrogating him and basic rule number one is to lie to cops ! The whole narrative framing helped better characterize Varric and thatâs why it worked so well and made him the best little guy of the series (at least in da2- I'm not happy with what they did to him in dai). It also bothered to justify itâs existence ! Because I fail to see the point in Veilguard. Did we need to know the titans magic was definitely bad news the second itâs introduced ? Was it necessary to spoil the kidnapping of Taashâs mother ? Did I need to be recapped on what just happened minutes ago ? This, coupled with the quest markers placed every ten meters in what are essentially corridors I had to dig around the settings to disable, or the companions repeating infos again and again to make sure you remember it... game why are you treating me like I'm a fucking idiot. I am, donât get me wrong, but I donât like the assumption
Before getting to the characters, I will show some restrain for the only time in this rambling monstrosity and not talk about the story in excruciating details, what it does wrong (writing, coherence, being a sequel, lore...) what it does right (spectacle mainly) etcetc. But there is one aspect of it that I will quickly delve into :
You know how to write good villains ? Well you have to make them just so so so bad in every aspects, nothing to make you believe anyone would join or believe in their cause. Better yet if their cause is just "being evil", OR give them some sort of goo that is evilâąïž- like damn man the venatori canât even drink good wine (in a quest Neve say they drink "piquette", which in french is a word thatâs used for cheap disgusting wine) ! Give them *something* to make them a tiny bit interesting no ? Same for the Antaam.... or the elven gods.... or the darkspawns .... I miss the Arishok ;; even tho he dies inexplicably at the end of act 2 I feel like I didnât savor enough the droplets of nuances he brought. I know both inquisition and veilguard tried to dim his light, but I remember the guy was basically in the right but put in an impossible situation by his superiors and after years and years of being stuck in a shithole among people that hate him and his peers, the assassination of one of his men by the local church just made him snap- and isnât that crazy I can talk about DA2âs antagonist like a person with comprehensible motives you can empathize with ? You can even give him what he rightfully wants in the end and avoid to fight him (if Isabella didnât run- and you're willing to betray her) ! He was far from perfect, especially with the whole qunari plot in this game having some very uncomfortable islamophobic vibes, but at least he was a character. Why the Elven gods want to destroy and blight the world ? Because theyâre evil thatâs why now shut up and listen to the sauceless architect explain that they want to blight the 20 remaining griffins because fuck you
The butcher was a bit better and the de facto best antagonist of the game. Too bad you have one (1) interesting but brief chat with him, then he ?? Kills himself ? To give place to the governor who could have been great but ends up cartoonishly evil like the rest...
But without further ado,
He's an angel with a shotgun
Shit I've wrote down about this man... I wonât attempt to make it a coherent thought so you just getting it raw :
oh he's emo and an insomniac, just like me 4 real 4 real
Lucanis really is : what if we gave Zevran Anderâs problems ?
he's the fourth one to get to the home base, there is plenty of rooms left, why did he choose to sleep in the closet behind the kitchen what is wrong with him
his first quest is to go grocery shopping with him because he wants to make friends with everyone by giving them gifts ;; I am experiencing cute aggression
The wet bisexual with huge brown eyes who is in denial about being an absolute mess....... I can feel him bewitching me
itâs embarrassing how much this character is like catnip to me
he looks so throwable. Glad the designers agreed and gave this 5 foot nothing guy emo wings
his haircut is fascinating. The fuck ass mullet.
he described how he got possessed by talking about how itâs like eating sus meat and getting a tape worm
the demon looks like him if he had the personality of a fucking goblin
"I'm very expensive" stooopppppp
He got that poorly socialized overstimulated wet little dog allure
I think the Italian manlet is in denial about having water damage in his home
his friendship with Bellara is so precious ?? Theyâre just yapping about food itâs very pleasant- same for Taash just some very cute banter
everytime I expect him to do the classic toxic male thing of "I wonât talk about my problems, I wonât ask others for help" (no shame I do the same) and he doesnât I'm so thrown off- in a good way ! And I think itâs really interesting that he's more open to other companions then Rook, at least in the beginning, since you're kind of his boss
oh no the flirty dialogues- someone needs to call hr on my ass what is that
The little rivalry between him and Davrin is fucking pathetic. Come on boys you can be meaner than that I believe in you both ! and then you could make out sloppy style
I'm beginning to fear his tragic end might be a heart attack. My guy needs to drink liquids other than coffee and maybe sleep or he'll never see 40 but what do I know... at least he's eating well ?
his cousin betrayed him to bang an old woman (and peter cushing is there so I might betray his ass to bang an old man- who am I kidding)
bro tried to pull the move were you put your hand on the wall next to someone leaning against it... my guy is a Qunari almost as tall as Taash- Rook having to awkwardly bend his knees off screen to humor this man
am I going crazy, or does he have a little bit of a lisp ?
hello mullet boy itâs me the ps5 I am inside your brain
oh he is a funny drunk !!! Does this man have any faults ?? Apart from doing shots out of an espresso cup apparently
he has negative rizz this is perfect- I almost regret not being able to witness him trying to woo Neve
ok I knew he was bougie.... but a second villa ?? A private opera ???? Really made the right choice of romance here- and I am no longer feeling bad about looting his house
Entranced by the failed Viago seduction implications- did he just say "thanks" ? Did he take it as a threat ??
supernatural castiel intro scene ass visual for a casual chat
I'm beginning to suspect what I thought was a well paced slow burn romance... might just be a not a lot of content romance..... especially because I googled and learned that apparently you kiss peter cushing 12 times ???? You donât even have 12 romance focused conversations with Lucanis ??
I take back everything I've said, the mid finally romance scene was worth it đ
I am feeling very normal about the fact romancing him was a perfect echo of Anderâs quote "in 10 years, a 100 years, someone like me will love someone like you and there will be no templars to tear them apart", and that through *Anderâs* action ie starting the mage rebellion and forever changing the genre of this series toward more hopeful and high fantasy, a romance with a mage or an "abomination" is possible without violence- itâs such a perfect result for Anders ;; he might not still be around to witness it, my man had like 3 different things going on that assured him an early grave, but through organizing, through protest, through rebellion, he assured a kinder future for people like him and thatâs such a beautiful thing- a better future is possible, but happiness is to be fought for.
Anyway in true dragon age fashion his quest ending was trash <3 infuriating even <3 forgiving Illario was terrible, him becoming first talon was undercooked (because I cannot believe for a second he'd be happy about it), not being given a chance to even propose the idea to kill Illario was terrible- it was very obvious they sanitized the crows a *lot*, they are barely recognizable since we last saw them with Zevran, but this is too far. Kill the traitor, then angst about family loss you are the emo assassins faction act like it my god you canât even kill the ridiculously evil governor like come onnnnn why does everyone need to be so fucking nice-
Donât get me wrong, I *loved* that Lucanis was a very sweet and nice assassin ! But for the contrast to work better and be interesting, well he needs to actually be an assassin ? Zevran was intriguing and compelling thanks to a similar contrast that worked *because* this character had opinions and believes alien to us who arenât professional killers (at least I hope so-) ?? Or if you'll allow me a side step outside dragon age, the dark brotherhood in elder scrolls, especially oblivion, is a lovable rag tag group of weird outcasts that are very warm and welcoming to you and treat you like family, but they also joke about murdering kids and other atrocities because the unexpected contrast is what makes it fun ! To come back to veilguard, I *hated* the "I never killed an innocent man" line- if Lucanis had said it as a lie that would have been interesting, but I know the game meant it 100% straight and just no. Nous soufflames- why the insistence on sanding down the edges of the 'I kill people for money' job concept ?? Thatâs not going to make it noble in my eyes itâs just going to make it bland-
And I'm not talking about bringing the whole slave shit back, please no- but like the meanest guy there is your former boss/mentor thatâll gently sass you from time to time ? this is ridiculous. I loved Viago and Theia but come on. And itâs such a missed opportunity to, oh idk, give the player the chance to flavor their Rook ? Because the same shit goes for the Necromancers, they are so *so* nice like everyone else- why canât you pick a more "evil" or at least unsettling background when you are cooking your Rook ? Well itâs very obvious this game had some major rewrites and production troubles- but in a beautiful world, if your Rooks a Shadow dragon or Veil jumper ? They get the nice guy background. Grey warden or lords of fortune ? More grey (haha) or selfish flavor. Crow or Mourn watch ? A more creepy Rook or on a steep redemption act. But well, thatâs a lot of work and itâs obvious they had troubles- the sanitization on the other hand cannot be excused because itâs arduous labour...
But yes, the homogenization of your Rook makes your choice of faction kind of feel superficial- maybe itâs just the crows who got very little (although I highly doubt that), but it comes up so rarely... no one outside the crows is thrown off that you're an assassin, and you donât get a lot of special dialogues. Like when you speak to Neve after the assault of Weisshaupt and didnât save dock town, there really should be a crow option to say you selfishly saved your home (and I assume itâs the same with Lucanis if you chose the other option, but with shadow dragons)... same goes for your species like I think I got 3 or 4 qunari dialogue options (And it got pretty weird sometimes doing Taashâs quests or talking to them, because it felt like the game assumed I wasnât playing one) ? Like itâs not a DA2 situation were you had less options for Hawke because he was a more fleshed out character, but itâs also not as good as Origins because Rookâs background or race doesnât get as much impact... As us Orlesians say, your ass is left hanging between two chairs.
Bellara !!
She's a nerd she's a delight she's a pervert fujo she's an academic respected in her field she's annoying she doesnât know it but she yearns for the Poirot tv show starring David Suchet she's so nice she rules, I love her.
Everytime I spoke of a sword and shield combo character that I did not expect to end up liking, but they slowly sneak up on me and at the end I look back and they're one of my favorites... well she neither has a sword nor a shield, but she did sneak up on me because at the start I felt very neutral about her- idk what changed for her to end up top 2. Was it the very detailed and endearing character acting everytime you talk to her ? Her friendship with the Italian manlet I did not expect ? Her academic enthusiasm ? Being an unexpected pervert ? I truly donât know, but I love her now-
Her final choice tho- omfg her final choice- game wdym ???? Thought it would have something to do with oh idk her brother ?? But noooo, he conveniently dies. No no you, yes you, have to decide if you 1) want to keep the elven wikipedia even tho it contains dangerous knowledge like "yeah maybe our ancestors were terrible people" or 2) destroy Wikipedia. Like right now. Without asking anyone else. And this is bullshit- even when you choose the obvious one of keeping the archive, Rookâs answer is so shit ?? Itâs not "who tf are we to decide that" or "learning from our history is what prevents us from repeating it", no itâs some bullshit like "itâs what your brother would have wanted"- because this game believes that inherently evil people do exist :)) and will take advantage of knowledge do to evil- I hate this. Especially seeing as she's an *historian* ? What kind of historian ask you if they should destroy the only source of reliable knowledge they have of a lost civilization, their own ancestors on top of that, because "learning could be dangerous imagine if people get bad ideas from it ?"- disgusting.
And I might not be an expert on the question, being a dumb european and all, but writing a game were your fantasy elves that were clearly mostly based on native americans (an already dubious choice here), end up worse villains than their christian coded colonizers and *were* the reason for all the worldâs problems, especially a plague like apocalypse- on top of making it a possibility to get rid of said elve's history because it "could be dangerous" ??? Sure is a choice dragon age- it's also such a coincidence that all villains that are just evil and canât be reasoned with, the elven gods the venatori and to an extent the antaam.... well letâs say there's a running theme of not being white, or based on colonial white cultures. These you can murder as mindless ennemies just like the darkspawns. But as soon as a villain is white (the mayor, the Treviso governor, the first warden, illario, Aelia...) then they are given respect. Then you canât kill them no matter how evil, or itâs a "mercy kill" out of frame and everyone looks soso sad- a small mercy the anti woke crowd are so fucking dumb, otherwise they'd have found stuff they would have greatly enjoyed here.
She's the divorced detective she's the moment she's everything and she knows it !!!
Ok I need to get something out first and foremost then I can gush about how much I love her..... the only thing I knew about her before the game was that she was the "divorced detective" archetype... I *really* thought her story reveal would be that her and Aelia had a messy toxic lesbian divorce- so when that didnât happen and Aelia was just another boring villain I was very let down ;;
Anyway, I love that Neve is not rich. She lives in a poor area, she stresses about having lost her apartment, her very stylish clothes were gifted to her, she cares so deeply and is very involved in her community... She truly has that leftist aura and the ambient pessimism you get after loosing every major elections even the ones you won (excuse my french)- Anders and her top 2 gauchiasse dragon age companions, I love them <3
And in my game she truly had a terrible time how fitting ! Lost everything and got blighted along with the shadow dragons- she didnât die tho ! Small victories !
The choice of saving either Dock Town or Treviso was the best in this game because of how unexpected and hard it was to make. And you donât really care about the cities, the real difficulty is choosing between the two best companions (along with the secondary faction characters who are also the strongest of the bunch), with lasting consequences to back it up itâs great well done game ! Wish there was more like it
And ngl I am pretty curious and intrigued by the Neve/Lucanis romance. I'm sure itâs not developed enough in game to make it compelling, but there is potential here ! No matter your choice one of them will angst, there can be resentment that the other convinced Rook to help save their city and that means tension drama n things to overcome and you could also go deeper into the whole "mage-killer" bit (something the game sure didn't-) ! The classic detective/assassin ship is always fun, even if said assassin isnât the culprit itâs still a compelling dynamic to me- ok look the first thing that came to my mind when I learned about this ship was a murder party knife out type story (not an au) with Lucanis and Neve, where Lucanis *isnât* the one who did the murder and together they search for the murderer (bonus point if Lucanis had a contract on the victim and is salty someone got to it before him). Also he gets pegged by a beautiful divorced woman ofc..... Too bad I'm bad at writing oh well fjkf
I also really liked her being visibly disabled in a very casual way : no one comments on it or question her own judgement of what she can physically do, her competence or autonomy is never being questioned, you have no scene where said disability is exploited as a weakness for example she never falls because of her prosthesis, or no bad guy ever exploit it resulting in someone else having to rescue her or some shit- well to me it felt refreshing and a good way, but I am no expert. Also I really liked hearing her distinctive footsteps behind me, I thought it was a nice detail !
I should be honest and say I donât really remember her final choice- maybe something to do with trusting the guards or the Threads ? Who fucking cares fjkd bad choice sorry- I think because she was hardened so I didnât get a choice ? Sure hope so...
Although after reflection and much analyzing (staring at the pretty old man), my conclusion is that this is not any Peter Cushing, he looks like what Peter Cushing should have looked like at the end of Madhouse 1974 after fusing with Vincent Price in a very toxic homoerotic climax, but the 70s special effect team didnât have the technology yet to put Emmrich on the big screen... you get me ? Asking you like anyone potentially reading this saw Madhouse-
But enough about the good Cush.
His quest ending choice was absolutely the best one (not a steep competition-) ! I chose to save Manfred, obviously I'm not a monster, and it was such a wholesome and good end for Emmrichâs character arc ! But if you choose the more angsty one, it completely changes his charadesign ?? And offers an alternative conclusion to his character arc that also feels fulfilling in a sad terrible way :)) Thatâs so cool !
And speaking of Manfred, what a delightfully cute character with a strong presence in Emmrichâs story, that doesnât steal all his characterization but complements it so well :)) foreshadowing is a literary device
On the other hand his romance with Strife truly comes out of nowhere- always hype for old man yaoi, but he never talked about him before, you never (?) see them chat together- I'm all for him being a whore ofc, but a little set up would have been nice ? The timing in my game was very funny tho ! It happened the second Emmrich wasnât Rookâs second love interest anymore jfkd I went into the discussion thinking itâll be a little break up chat, but no papy can get dick faster then anyone and is asking me for date ideas
The fact he is this low, when I started playing these games because of his charadesign, isnât by any faults of his own (although I expected him to be hmm a tiny bit more hammer frankenstein coded but letâs not circle back to the "everyone is too nice" complain-), but rather should put into perspective how much I enjoyed the three characters above him <3
Taash !
I'm very glad they decided to include a non binary companion ! Now, if they could have written them as something other than a tutorial for the straights, or avoid linking their gender identity to "choosing" between their two cultural heritage because seriously what the fuck was that-
But letâs not get ahead of ourselves, and start with the good ! Writing a very immature and moody character and still make them likable is a hard thing to pull off, and they truly succeeded with Taash imo ! Sure they are awkward and snappy, but they are also funny, a perfect jock/nerd blend, enthusiast about the crows in a very cute way, very intense about their interest (dragons), and a bit intimidating when they want to be ! Couple all of this with their dysfunctional parent/child relationship that while being far from perfectly written, is an improvement from the last time dragon age tried this type of story if only by the fact itâs not introduced in a scene were you trick/convince the child to hear out their parents apology (sorry Dorian nation, but that was terrible-)... well thatâs a solid base for a character ! I am charmed, I am intrigued ! Their great charadesign is also a nice bonus
Unfortunately, Taash truly has the clunkiest writing out of the bunch- I will not comment on if Taashâs non binary characterization is well written or not, I'm cis so thatâs not my place, and because if it helped people discover something about themselves then thatâs invaluable. What I will say is that linking the questioning and discovery of their gender to their bi cultural heritage, on one hand the restrictive and backward qun and on the other the free and gay friendly rivain, and making the choice of one of said heritage the determinant of their transition ?? Oh thatâs bad. Thatâs terrible- why would you do that-
Another, and last, clunker to add to the pile is of course : "Dragons have queens not kings !!!" Are we at a womenâs march circa 2016 ? Am I marching with Katy Perry right now ? I donât like calling things cringe, thatâs such an uninteresting way to talk about things and is very overused... but I'm really at a loss for word to describe how these kinds of lines makes me feel outside of saying that itâs cringe. I'm sorry-
Harding !!
If only she had been more of a character in inquisition !! But well, itâs dai were talking about so of course she wasnât.... she was the lady that would describe a new area to you like there would be something interesting there-
But here she's very charming ! Talking to her is always a delight, she has a very cute design, she has the single funniest banter in the game with Lucanis '6000 gold is pocket change to me' Dellamorte and the conversation you have with her about how she lived the events of inquisition was very great characterization ! Why did she have no personality ? She was very young, didnât want to loose her job so she kept a lot to herself and said only what people wanted to ear from her. Who was she friends with ? The workers ! Or as a character I didnât like would say, "the little people"-
Her final choice was horrendous tho- very obvious, and the game trusts you so little that on top of telling you outright from the beginning the mysterious magic is bad, it even color codes the two answers as the bad red choice vs blue good choice. Itâs like they think I'll drown in a puddle
The dwarven lore and story beats used to be one of my favorite thing out of these games. How in Origins it was a political intrigue plot in Orzammar one of the best cities in the franchise, that lead you to some great horror elements the deeper down you went with rocks giving way to flesh, hunger and cannibalism. In DA2 you have Varric, an outcast that thrives outside of his societyâs expectations : be it in his relationship to his masculinity or how he chose to lead his life. Hell even in DAI you have the mysterious descent toward the unknown, deep dwarves with riffles, and a final place that felt magical in itâs impossibility.
In Veilguard what do we have ? Red vs blue. No ok thatâs not true, but the plot with the secretive dwarven society decked out in disgusting armor with feet boots really did not interest me- it didnât feel freaky enough (despite the feet), not to mention that if you played DAI's dlc the descent you already have a lot of the answers....
Davrin-
You know the cuckoo bird ? The one that lays one egg in another birdâs nest, then itâs baby becomes bigger and kills all the others ? The parasitic bird ? Assan is exactly that to me. But we'll circle back to the bird-
On paper, Davrin is a good character ! A dalish elf that chose to leave his community to join the grey wardens, the tragic soldier/artist flavoring, the whole monster hunter business that further shows us what wardens do outside of blights with him having a specific approach to it of wanting to create a kind of encyclopedia because he's a huge nerd that wants to "hmm actually âïžđ€" as much people as possible, how he views himself as a disposable weapon- he also has a really good design ! Being a black elf for once, but also a very beefy one at that and for this one I'm glad they ditched the established lore ! Just for him :) he gets the exception of being taller and stronger so that he can look down on his human rival <3
His outfit is also really nice, I love the subtle asymmetry as well as the color palette being rather warm in creams and oranges with blue accents, little pieces of armor rather then a full plate, and of course everyday is tits out friday ! Unfortunately for him, as well as for Emmrich and Neve for that matter, that means every piece of armor you find will be uglier than the first one djdjk suffering from success etcetc
But letâs bring it back to the "seeing himself as a disposable weapon" bit because that !! Is a very compelling character trait right here ! But well... we all know he doesnât get as much screen times as the others. They could have gone deeper on his relationship to his mortality, as well as his self scarifying tendencies- like after the first arch demon fell and he was surprised and not that thrilled to still be alive, I thought theyâll do more with that.... You get glimpses of an interesting character, then itâs back to insipid Assan shit.
The quest with Eldrin felt like such a breath of fresh air because finally ! We're learning something about Davrin and not just Assan, and itâs in a charming 'getting to embarrass him by talking to his mischievous uncle' scene ;w; when they give him some characterization he can be cool !! Too bad the game is focused on the marketable griffin, and giving Davrin such cop sounding dialogues when he talks to other companions- "seems like your brother fell in with the wrong crowd" is a line you ear in an 80s psa against smoking weed what is that. Why are you writing him like this-
His final choice isnât even about him, because of course it isnât why would it be, and I couldnât care less. Itâs the only one I chose by looking up which armor reward was the prettiest... this is such a shame. And speaking about shame, I couldnât find the source so I'll take this with a grain of salt, but words on the street about a developer commenting that they killed off Assan with Davrin, because they thought people wouldnât be sad if he died ? What do you even want me to add to this disgusting (if true) comment... I'm quite curious to see what the fandom did with this guy, canât be worse than the game- I know it absolutely can be, but rn I'm choosing hope. I'm choosing optimism. (Adding this after the rest of the yapping and having seen a bit of the fandom : Davrin fans I love you <3)
You know the whole "I'm doing 7 this time to not leave just one out that would be too mean UwU" ? I lied. I have beef with Assan and itâs targeted
I'll not drag this out longer than it already is, but on top of being a charmless little leach, it pissed me off that he's a griffin- it was kind of a big deal that they were extinct !! Symbol of a once great order thatâs dying out, and a literal example of one of the best Morrigan lines "if we donât preserve the extraordinary and magical we have in the world, all thatâll be left is the mundane" (I'm paraphrasing- itâs what she says near the end of dai before going in the elven temple to find the well). And insult to injury, Dragon age already have a pretty recognizable magical creature that has been closely associated to grey wardens for the past 3 games : mabaris ! They even got a redesign in inquisition so they donât look horrifying anymore- you can give Davrin a cute marketable mabaris ! Or if you want to go more in the monster hunter direction, and need a flying animal because every companion needs a ranged attack for some reason, a dragonling ! That way you also get to have a dragon in the main cast, dragon age. It wouldnât solve the problem of Davrinâs story not being about him and getting very little outside of his fucking pet, but at least it wouldnât also destroy the established lore and make the world of dragon age even more fantasy 101 than it already is. Also the dragonling could be easily tied to the (boring and mid) griffin plot very easily : the grey wardens started to domesticate them in the last 10 years. Why ? The first warden wants to make the faction appear grand and important after the end of the 5th blight and what better way than to once again get your soldiers to ride around on huge flying magical creatures like the wardens of old (make the grey wardens great again type beat-). Domesticating dragons is a very difficult and dangerous thing to do so they donât have a lot of them and the ones they do have are precious, the sauceless architects steals them, Davrin is left with the last one but is no dragon expert so he has to learn to care for it making mistakes along the way but growing closer to his charge. You then learn that the grey wardens drove the griffins extinct during the 4th blight and did fucked up animal abuse shit to them thatâs why the villain of the hour kidnapped the dragonlings to blight them (same as canon-), and at the end you're left with the "do we trust the grey wardens with another magical creature or are they going to eventually give these wild magical animals the same end as the last ones ? But is it safe to release them now that they were domesticated ?"
+
Spent like 2 hours in this game's great character creator and finally got to cook my dream mage qunari (tall for humans but short for a qunari, not visibly jacked with a healthy layer of fat, strong thighs huge ass anyway), so here's my crow Rook in a crunchy low resolution because I played on the steamdeck :))
My battle, my struggle, was finding solutions for him to not look too bald. I failed- I had to get used to the #hairloss look
Crucial detail tho... I was 70 hours into this game, level fucking 48, when I understood you could change your armorâs appearance ;; I am so dumb- this is the best feature- crying shitting throwing up why did I only understood that near the end of the game- I thought it was just to change your lighthouse fit- I just wore the crow trench coat the whole time waiting to get better armor ;; then I finished the crowâs quests and maxed out the shop and finished lucanis quests.... *then* I realized I might be missing something-
And finally ! Here's how the full companions tier list looks like !
Now if anyone asks me "hey do you like Fenris dragon age ?" for example, I can answer "moderately yes, you could even say he is my 21st favorite little guy" like a normal human being <3
And in for a penny and all that, here's my final thoughts on the 4 games after playing them all back to back for the first time in 2025/2026
PS : After being done with my deranged ramblings, while I was making the pixelart, I caved and checked ao3.... chocked at how little fics there is for Lucanis/Neve ? Lucanis/Viago I wasnât surprised there wasnât much, being just a vague throwaway line (although what was there was excellent, thank you fanfic writers <3)... but the Neve pairing really surprised me because itâs canon (depending on player choice yes, but she *is* in his head and you learn he finds her attractive) ? And ok maybe itâs a case of fandom hating women, but there isnât that much more with Davrin ?? The obvious enemies to lovers one ? Overall I expected more fics pairing up the companions together canon or not ? Like I get it people want to ship their Rook with the companions, and I *do* enjoy a bit of harmless gambling so I'm absolutely not opposed, but I guess I'm just surprised- (and a bit disappointed ngl)
every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz sheâs dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i donât want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
jacobvanloon
blakekathryn
janainaart
origamiaround
stormborns
