a rubber ducky floaty going down the river styx

this is mostly a collection of whatever catches my eye, makes me laugh, or otherwise amuses me.

[piesandswords]

Which mouse is the most murderous?

Jerry (of Tom and)

Reepicheep (Narnia)

The ones from Hitchhikers Guide

Pinky (of and the Brain)

Mickey (the CHARACTER not the company)

Voting ended onMar 27

[zeravmeta]

[thadeeliv]

[thetyrannosaur]

[colombiacaribe]

[standardissueplottwist]

[piesandswords]

[godsfavoritespecialangel]

The chances of your fish committing credit card fraud is low, but never 0

[tuxankhamun]

[stitchthisfiona]

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

[cleolinda]

[cleolinda]

[lotus0kid]

[lotus0kid]

[pomme-poire-peche]

[lotus0kid]

[sashaforthewin]

[jack-of-no-cows]

[ghirahimbo]

[piesandswords]

Why did Beau turn into a vampire when Bella didn't?

They both went to the bathroom before they left. Bella had a line, Beau didn't.

Female cabbies drive faster than male cabbies, so Beau got there faster.

Edythe is a more responsible driver than Edward.

The car that Edward stole (lava, purple) was faster than the #WomanCar (pink?)

Carine had better ethics than Carlisle and didn't drug a stranger on the road

The man that Carine drugged on the side of the road fought back (men fight)

Carine had WORSE ethics than Carlisle, drugged MULTIPLE people, took 10 minutes+

Archie is too gay to pay attention to traffic.

Beau's heart is More Powerful (bigger?) so it spread the venom faster

Archie just wanted Beau to be a vampire and lied to Edythe without her noticing

Woman Venom™ works faster because #Feminism

Renesmee's egg managed to ward off the vampire venom for a bit

Voting ended onAug 27, 2025

[standardissueplottwist]

could someone please drop the goblin emperor discord invite?

[standardissueplottwist]

Me: I'm not going to cry at the Wicked movie, the only song that brings me to tears is For Good, and that's not even in this half

The Wicked Score: *sprinkles in the beginning notes of For Good as Elphaba and Glinda's Friendship Leitmotif*

Me:

[adragonsoulart-blog]

Hey, the ACLU is getting people to send letters to your Reps to have Congress pass the No Kings Act.

This act would make constitutional amendments to ensure that even sitting presidents are held liable for their actions. That NOBODY is above the law.

Their goal is 150k messages sent and at the time of writing this they're about 2.1k off from that goal!

ACLU gives you a prefilled message that you can edit to send to make the process easier, and will send it out for you.

Tell Congress: America Elects Presidents, Not Kings

The Supreme Court declared that criminal law doesn’t apply when you’re Donald Trump or any other president using the powers of the office. D

This only takes a few minutes!

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Not unreality, not a joke: I have never posted such a thing before here but- Please do this one for whatever good it might result in.

[humunanunga]

168,428 signed out of 175,000. Just 6,572 to go!

[humunanunga]

Yesterday, over a thousand signatures were added. Today, a few hundred. Keep boosting this, maybe send this to someone with a lotta followers, share the link on other platforms, encourage others to do the same.

We're 96% of the way there. C'mon, just a little further.

[plutoarttv]

prometheus: hot take,

the greek gods: no give that back

[caats]

[feefal]

Angel manta ray (what if fish was bird??)

[feefal]

Wow the whole gang is here!

[bo-an-aro]

“sex/romance/empathy makes us human,” they say. awful. pathetic. what makes us human is the urge to set things on fire

[sullina]

you’re actually correct!

Cooking is the one thing that only humans do and can be directly linked to the increase in our brain size

[detrout]

Burning the mammoth flank just a lirtle instead of eating it raw gives grug more calorie to think. Grug thinking about color symbolism in silence of the lambs

[leveragehunters]

Behold, a (hu)man!

[kirkegarde]

The bird that torments Prometheus learned something

[shithowdy]

[metanarrates]

if you're cringing at the genre conventions of the genre you are writing in then why the hell are you writing in it. either have something substantial to say about those conventions or shut the hell up! i will not cringe alongside you at superhero powers and spaceship battles and big eldritch worms and bone magic. i came to this story to SEE that shit and I don't appreciate it when an author tries to pretend they're above the very things they're selling themselves on

[metanarrates]

stop wink wink nudge nudging me about how silly the genre is, asshole. i like that genre. I'm reading your story because I like that genre. your wink wink nudge nudging just tells me you're too unoriginal to deliver an actual critique and too irony-poisoned to unabashedly enjoy the clichés. again I ask: why the hell would you waste both of our times like this

[metanarrates]

honestly this is true even of genres I don't particularly like! i don't even enjoy romance all that much, but if I'm reading a romance novel, i expect there to BE romance novel trappings in there, and am therefore pretty fine with them existing. there are an awful lot of romance clichés that I hate, but it's still not cute or clever to include them just to laugh at them. why would you disrespect your own genre in such a substanceless way. say something true and beautiful NOW!!!!!

[thunderbottle]

they should add a fishing minigame to tumblr