Art Nerds Unite

Tell me art jokes, tell me history jokes, tell me art history jokes!

[p1ss]

[ejacutastic]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

[biszumletzten]

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

[demonsnakes-deactivated20160829]

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

[furbearingbrick]

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

[cluelessrebel1988]

One does not simply drive into Mordor. It’s black toll gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the great eye is ever watchful.

[yocalio]

The Mummy (1999) Dir. Stephen Sommers  

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

when vincent van gogh said “but you must love with a high, serious intimate sympathy, with a will, with intelligence, and you must always seek to know more thoroughly, better, and more”

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[that-twink-over-there]

Eat the rich

[artist-assassin-deactivated2021]

“After feeling remorseful, he surrendered to police the next day.”

absolutely fucking destroy the rich

[radiojamming]

I haven’t been able to get the full video but we just celebrated one of our steam locomotives turning 145 by chucking a chocolate cake into her firebox

[copperbadge]

Some spectacular dark energy in this post. 

[sassbewitchedmyass]

So, I moved recently. And my new neighborhood is full of kids. I met about 20 of them the day I moved in because they helped me chase down my dog when he got loose and I can already tell you, me and these kids are gonna be besties. They come over to play with my dogs at least once a day. A few little convos we’ve had so far:

(On the day we met)

6yo: My name Kendrick but you can call me KJ cause my friends call me KJ and you my friend now.

~

KJ: I’ll walk your dogs for 5$!

Me: Imma think about it, okay?

KJ: Ok ok, 3$!! But that’s the lowest imma go. What a deal right?!?!

~

9yo: You know my Mama’s got a boyfriend.

Me: That’s nice!

9yo: My grandmama don’t like him cause he ain’t got a job.

Me: Oh.

9yo: Do you got a job?

Me: Yeah.

9yo: *screaming across the yard* GRANDMAMA!! THIS GIRL GOT A JOB!

(I might be her new stepmom, y’all. Idk)

~

12 yo: You ain’t got a man?

Me: Nope.

12 yo: You got a woman?

Me: Nope.

12 yo: It’s just you and these dogs?

Me: Yep.

12 yo: Girllllll! You living the life!

~

9yo: *banging on my back door* HEY!! Open the door!!

Me: *opening the door, freaking out* OMG! WHATS WRONG!

9yo: Nothing. You got a popsicle?

Me: Ummmm...no.

9yo: You want one?

Me:???

9yo: *pulls a popsicle from behind her back* I think you need this.

Me: Thank you.

9yo: Alright. Imma see you tomorrow. Bye!!

Me:...okay

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Protect these kids at all costs

[zapdragon23]

I think you just became a side character in a kids novel

[petalstofish-deactivated2022041]

[gahdamnpunk]

That gap I-

[crazyintheeast]

It’s actually much worse then this. All you need to do is to look at their imdb pages to see that Adele Lim  has more credits and experience under her belt then Chiarelli .This is VERY important because the usual excuse when there is a massive difference in salary is that one party is more experience then the other and this is natural to pay them more. And yet here she is the one with more experience and yet with a drastically lower cut. This is both racial and gender discrimination and there is absolutely and utterly no excuse

[wetheurban]

Artist Harmonia Rosales Reimagines Classic Works With Black Femininity

[bloodytales]

These are extraordinary.

[theglycopeptide]

all you need to know about me is the 2005 version of pride and prejudice

[trip-wild]

May I hit y'all with a hot take

Uncle iroh has Hawaiian shirt energy

Sokka also has the same energy but no sleeves

Thank you for your time

[srsfunny]

Hospital T-Rex

[official-liberty-prime-deactiva]

Imagine being rushed into the ER and reading this as they push you through though

[king-in-yellow]

Lol when my appendix burst, I had initially refused to go to the ER because it was a Saturday night (which are always busy helltimes for ERs of course) - and when I arrived I was told there were eight people ahead of me. I agreed and just asked for something to drink and something for the nausea. They took my vital signs, looked at each other, and then whisked me back immediately to a room and within five minutes the ER attending physician came in (as opposed to a resident physician).

“Hahaha, holy shit, am I dying?” I asked him - because HOSPITAL T-REX IS CORRECT

[ionlylooklikeahipster]

Okay but the T-Rex has abs drawn onto it in pen.

[christopher-bryant]

P90 Rex

[shinysoroka]

My favorite Ragnarok headcanon is that the entire movie is a story Thor is telling the audience. That’s why it opens with a monologue, that’s also the reason of the sudden tone shift into comedy and that’s why despite all the horrible things that happen, it’s so endlessly optimistic. The real events that transpired were probably very similar, just much, much darker. 

[growingpaynes-art]

This really explains so much, like how characters like Loki and Hulk, and Thor himself, are so different from the other films- because we’re seeing them through Thor’s eyes. The dialogue is different as well, much more casual and shorthand with use of slang in place of the typical Shakespearean lines, because Thor is paraphrasing in his retelling of the events. I like to imagine that Thor’s audience is actually the asgardians on the ark at the end of the film, mostly families and children, so he’s ramping up the goofiness and drama (you are now meeting the grandmaster, please dont cut my hair, get help), using childish humor (the naked hulk), and poking fun at everything (surtur’s big eyebrow). They were all just extremely traumatized, so Thor is taking care of his people in the only way he currently can- taking comedy theatre tips from loki. 

[sizvideos]

[perissologist]

THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED

[lord-palmerston]

you missed the best bit

[nobodytoldthehorse]

Love logging on to tumblr dot com and seeing posts about why libraries should be Cancelled because they don’t pull problematique books

[nobodytoldthehorse]

Also let’s be real, Problematic Books are one of the strongest arguments for libraries’ continued existence?

Let’s say you need an outdated queer theory textbook that uses biphobic and cissexist rhetoric for your gender studies thesis, but you don’t particularly want to own that book.

Let’s say you need a primary source to strengthen your argument to your college as to why a certain political figure does not deserve to be a speaker at your graduation because they perpetuate hate speech.

Let’s say you and your friends want to hateread a book by your least favorite author but you don’t want to give him your money.

You deserve the ability to access that content legally without having to purchase and own it. And so does everyone else, no matter how suspicious you might be of their motives for reading a Problematic book.

[haunted-hideaway]

When I was doing my masters in library science, they reiterated over and over: there should be something in a library to offend everyone. Believe me. There are books in my library that I find offensive. But my job is to provide access. Not to question WHY people need stuff or to judge them. Libraries should function as a neutral space. We are providing information, which in and of itself is neutral. It’s what people DO with that information that matters. And even then, it’s not my place to judge.

[lyricwritesprose]

When I was in college, I was doing a paper for an African-American Studies class, and I found myself suddenly in need of info on exactly what sort of self-justification white people were using during the days of slavery.

And I found one in the college library.  An original slave-owner’s apologia from eighteen hundred or so.

Nasty stuff.  But studying the mechanics of evil is a useful pursuit.  One that has relevance in today’s world, certainly.

(My African-American Studies professor thought so too; he gave me an A.)

The point being, no matter how bad a book is, there is value in preserving it—if only to demonstrate, “This, this right here, this is a bad thing.“  Mein Kampf?  Worth picking through to note the psychology of a depraved leader.  (Did you know that Hitler framed every damn thing as a war, including farming, which he characterized as wrestling food from an unwilling land, or some such bullshit?  Might be a characteristic worth paying attention to.  Be cautious about leaders who use “war” rhetoric for things that aren’t actually wars, such as … oh, to pull an example out of a hat, how about “drugs.”)  Slavery apologia?  Leans heavily into Biblical justification, from the one I read, so maybe, just maybe, we should examine Biblical justifications very carefully.  Even the worst stuff teaches us things.

Which is part of what a library is there for.

[marvel-lous-things]

Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house

Peter: thank you, but I can’t

Bartender: why not

Peter:

Bartender:

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

[eldritchcannon]

Bartender, shook: oh, congratulations, boy or girl?

Peter, now in full-on panic mode: it’s an uh, spider