A Court Of Reading And Delusion

Mentally, I’m in Velaris

[ur-average-farp]

one of my favorite things about tog is ALL THE TROPES

enemies to lovers: pretty much every relationship in the series

fake dating: elorcan in eos

only one bed: (kind of) rowaelin in hof

found family: lysandra and evangeline

soul mates: rowaelin

secret identity: aelin/celaena

forced proximity: 78% of the relationships

[justgoghawaypls]

it’s always “want to fuck?” and never “i’ll bleed whatever color you tell me to”

[starfallserotonin]

I just finished the tandem read and I am UNWELL

[starfallserotonin]

Is anyone else feel illiterate when they have to say the TOG characters names out loud? Like suddenly I don’t know how they’re supposed to be pronounced and surely my brain is wrong (and it really was)

[starfallserotonin]

Abraxos taking injured Manon to Aelin’s court in the middle of the ocean is my new Roman Empire. . .

[iwillwalkthroughthefire]

[riaann]

they're a part of my soul now

[starfallserotonin]

The way reading The Assassin’s Blade makes every little thing in Queen of Shadows that much more meaningful … like why am I crying about lavender soap? Bffr

[velidewrites]

Cassian: Does my hair look good?

Summer Court guard taking his mugshot: Please stop asking

[starfallserotonin]

There’s nothing more difficult than having to act like you LOVE Tamlin to the friend you recommended read ACOTAR

[orphicauroras]

Cassian training the Valkyries be like

[starfallserotonin]

All I can think about is what the IC got Nyx for winter solstice, who won the snowball fight, and what Rhys got Feyre for her birthday this year.

[starfallserotonin]

Imagine Cassian teaching Nesta to ice skate on the frozen Sidra… she’s ridiculously irritated because she keeps falling and it seems so easy to Cassian.

So, he flies above her with his hands under her armpits to help her get the hang of it while she curses at him to let her figure it out herself

[leiaamidala]

𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒊𝒖𝒎𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒕—𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝑬𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍.

 ⊱❊⊰⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣⤞ art by @lamonyo (💜)

⤞ commissioned by me

⊱❊⊰⁣⁣⁣

Celebrating Rhys Week, Bonds Day. Dedicated to all my Feysand fam. 

Do not repost, please.

[starfallserotonin]

Shadowed feelings

Azriel x reader

Summary: as Nyx’s private tutor, you ensure the babe is getting the proper education. Even if Feyre and Rhys have you start months after he was born. Becoming part of the inner circle was a blessing. Except when it came to a certain shadow singer who secretly stole your heart. Desperately trying to take it back and push down your feelings don’t get you too far when you’re invited to Sunday family dinner in the middle of winter.

Warnings: talk of sa, angst, yearning for the other, fluff.

You couldn’t help but be a little jealous all the couples walking hand in hand by the Sidra, iced over from the cold of winter, as you strolled toward the River House. You knew you’d only find three more happy couples inside once you got there. It’s been a few months since you decided to cast your unannounced and unrequited feelings for the shadow singer aside.

You were new to the Inner Circle. Joining just after the high lady and lord had their babe join the world. The babes official tutor and instructor when he became of age. Having lead Velaris’ children and adult education programs, Feyre asked you to start being around more and more to help the babe get used to you. It only took the first year for the couple to decide they loved you and Rhys, Cassian, and Amren to learn your extensive education that they also decided to keep you around as a cartographer, linguist, and whatever professor like tasks they needed to be done. Years of studying anything and everything paid off. Not only was Nyx learning fast for a toddler, you were becoming more and more useful to the inner circle. But not only we’re you glad to be helpful to your court, but you were glad to have good friends — a family.

Breaking from your thoughts as you approached the River House, you looked up. Snow was falling slowly, but by the look of the sky, it would soon start to thicken. Kicking your boots on the door frame to free them of ice and snow, you enter the house and shed your scarf and coat off your shoulders before hanging them in the coat closet.

Laughter filled your ears as you entered the dining room. Your family sat at the table for your weekly Sunday night dinner. Feyre smiled at Nyx, who was sitting on Nesta’s lap across from her. Cassian had his arm around the back of Nesta’s chair staring at his mate. Nyx had picked up something sticky off his plate and was trying to smear it on the table, the house clearing it away before he could display his gooey art. Rhys laughed at his 2 year old. Elaine sat next to Varian and Amren, speaking to them about something botanical that I couldn’t quiet hear over Rhys and Cassian laughing. Mor sat across from Cassian and was throwing peas at the brute. Next to her was Azriel who was listening to what his brothers were laughing at. And of course, the only empty chair at the table was next to Azriel.

“Y/N! There you are,” Feyre beamed, “come sit down”. You smiled in response before taking your seat next to Azriel, who looked at you with soft eyes and a warm smile. You returned a tight lipped smile back, trying to battle the butterflies building in your gut down. A simple smile shouldn’t make you so girlish, but the way he looked at you… it sure had a hold on your heart.

Your plate popped onto the table in front of you and a fresh cup of peppermint tea. The house knew exactly what you needed to warm your cold bones.

“How’s Nyx doing with the color matching?” You asked as you took a bite of your food.

This launched Rhys, the proudest father ever, into a monologue about how he has the smartest child ever. Nyx knew all of his colors and was able to point to which color was asked of him. He said basic words such as “mama” and “dada” and “more”. Which was great as he had barely just turned two. The kid was smart, that’s for sure.

As Rhys went on, Feyre joining in on the newest thing Nyx could do, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to those wandering tendrils of shadow that you could feel brushing up your legs. This is why you didn’t want to sit next to Azriel. His shadows had a mind of their own and for whatever reason they had to be as close as possible to you whenever you were in the room. Az could, for the most part, control them but when you were this close to him — arms nearly brushing every time the other moved — it was like he couldn’t keep them away from you even if he tried. And what was worse was that you loved having them wrap around you, leaving cool chills wherever they touched your skin. You couldn’t help but adore the shadows that accompanied the male your heart so desperately wanted.

But alas, that male seemed to distance himself after a year of you two meeting. After he tossed a male, that was forcing himself on you, off of you at Rita’s. The male only got to smashing his lips on yours when your panicked eyes saw the spy master rip him off of you and toss him across the alley. His eyes met yours and something changed in them. For whatever reason he kept his distance afterwards.

“Y/N” Nesta pulled you out of your thoughts, “what’s Nyx going to work on next?” She smiled as she stood and rounded the table, placing Nyx in you lap. An instant smile came to your face as you hugged the babe close and begin to sway your body back and forth a bit while he played with your hand.

“Color categorizing and we’re going to work on some more words. See if we can get this little bat a little more vocabulary”, you booped the babe on the nose before tickling his side eliciting a giggle from him.

You couldn’t help but feel Azriel’s hot stare on you as you held Nyx. Not to mention his shadows that were now frantically circling up your leg and around your waist. Nyx even began to grab at them, they only persisted. While everyone else continued into normal conversation, mostly Cassian being extra loud and the rest of the inner circle poking fun at him for losing this years snow ball fight, you finally dared to steal a glance at the male who made your heart stop beating. Expecting to see his carved-from-marble-by-the-mother-herself side profile, you were shocked to see his heated gaze already on you. Quickly, turning away you put your attention back onto Nyx who was holding your hand tightly as he began to doze off in your lap. When the babe finally let his eyes close completely, you let yourself have another peak.

Only, he was still looking at you. Your eyes met his again, but this time you didn’t snap your gaze away. His eyes were slightly darkened but focused on your face. His cheeks were the slightest bit flushed and his lips were pulled into the slightest smirk. He didn’t shy away from your gaze when he was caught staring. Which was so strange. The quiet, broody, almost shy Illyrian had always glanced away so quickly every time you caught him staring over the past year. Why is he not doing that now? Those butterflies dared to flutter again. Being entranced in those hazel eyes did nothing to help your attempt to squash them down. Instead those eyes encouraged them to fly higher into your chest and what felt like the base of your throat. Your chest ached.

You had no idea how long your gazes held, but Nyx’s light snoring in your arms broke you away from those gorgeous eyes and whatever just happened between you and Azriel. Standing, holding onto Nyx tightly with his head rested on your shoulder, “I’m gunna put him to bed, I’ll be right back” you hushed to Feyre as you walked by with a hand on her shoulder. She touched yours and gave it a squeeze. Thank you, you’re the best Y/N she said into your mind as her mouth was full of her dessert. You smiled and walked up the stairs to the babe’s nursery. After setting Nyx into his bed, you turn to exit the room.

In the door, shadows crept at the frame. With a sigh you walk over to them and kneel down, letting them swirl around your outstretched hand. How did his shadows feel so affectionate toward you and he so cold? As if the shadows felt your heart ache, they pooled into your palm and wound around your fingers. “How about you tell your master to stop playing games and tell me what the heck he was staring at me for” you whisper sarcastically to the shadows, knowing they were silent even if they were sentient. Voicing your thoughts and feelings, even if only to shadows, was rather nice. You stand to your feet and carefully shut the nursery door behind you. The shadows now pooled at your feet fairly heavily.

“Come on shadows, let’s get you back to your master” you huff with an eye roll.

Everyone, minus Amren and Varian who must have already left, had moved to the living area and was drinking wine and talking about Feyre’s art studio. You sat down next to Nesta, who had surprisingly become a fast friend over the past two years. She whispered, “what’s with a certain someone’s shadows following you around?”. Before you could answer Mor plopped on there other side of you and added, “ya they’re like lost puppies”. All you could do was shrug and hiss at them to hush when you noticed Azriel standing and offering you a glass of wine.

“Thanks Az” you smiled tightly as you took the glass. He smiled back, quite warmly, earning you a pinch in the side from Mor and an elbow to the other side from Nesta.

—

After hours of you all talking and joking, it was finally time to leave as it was well into the late of night. You were the first to stand, thanking Feyre and Rhys for having you over and confirming you’d see them tomorrow afternoon for Nyx’s lesson. Feyre, Cassian, and Nesta all heading upstairs as you leave the living room and into the large entryway. Pulling on your coat and scarf tightly around you, you pull on the door. It didn’t budge. So you pull harder. And again, harder. “Hey, Rhys. Something’s wrong with your door” you call out. Both Rhys and Az walk into the entryway just as your final pull sends the door flying open, you with it. Strong arms catch you tightly, sending sparks shooting up your arms under your coat. Glancing up to meet those beautiful hazel eyes, you begin to mutter out a thank you when he lifts you up and sets you back on your feet, causing your cheeks to flush.

From next to you, Rhys looked at the large wall of snow and ice that covered the door way. A wall of white. Great.

“Well. Looks like you’re snowed in, teach” Rhys chuckled. “You too, Az.”

“Great”, Azriel breathed out in disbelief.

“Hey, you’re fine Az. Your room is there for you anyways. Y/N, we have one for you as well. Sorry about the storm, you two.” Rhys winked before he headed up stairs. You sit on the couch in the living room as you take off your coat and scarf in disbelief. How could you spend the night in the same house as Azriel? Your heart certainly can’t handle it. His shadows were already circling your feet when you tossed your warm layers onto the couch next you. The house instantly banishing them to the coat closet.

Azriel sat in the arm chair across from you in silence. Sipping his wine. It was killing you. It was so quiet and the weight of your feelings only made it harder to bare.

“You know, I can’t exactly tell you why I was staring at you earlier,” he spoke softly before sipping his wine. Shock was evident on your face. Glancing down at the shadows around your feet you groaned. Snitch. “You are the one that told them to tell me” he chuckled.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t think they would actually tell you”, you dragged your hands down your face.

“I’m not playing any games, y/n”

“You’re not? Then what are you doing? You have barely spoken to me in the last year. I thought we were pretty good friends before that night in Rita’s” your laugh that followed was dripping with anger. A year or trying to forget how hurt you were by him keeping his distance had made you pretty angry.

“Don’t be angry with me. It’s not like I wanted to” he looked down at his wine glass.

“Sure, Azriel. Believe whatever you want. But I felt like shit after. I thought you were ashamed that you had to stop that male because I couldn’t myself. Or that you didn’t want to be friends with me anymore or you suddenly decided you didn’t like me” you sigh, “what was I supposed to think?”

“I’m sor—“ he started to apologize but you cut him off. Annoyance and anger squashing down the butterflies from before.

“Nope. No apologies. Tell me why you ignored me, I deserve to know” your words were bitter and laced with the ice you felt coating your heart.

“I don’t think you want to know, y/n,” he ran a hand through his dark hair.

“Okay. Fine. Goodnight Azriel.” You huffed angrily. Instead of heading toward the stairs you made a b-line to the front door. You’d shovel your way out if you had to, you weren’t spending the night with this male under the same roof. Tugging on your coat and draping your scarf around your neck, you shove your feet into your boots. Throwing open the door to expose the wall of snow.

“Y/n, where are you going?” He asks in disbelief from behind you.

“Home. Duh.” You hiss back.

“How? Gunna shovel your way out?” He chuckles with his deep timber of a voice. A chuckle that could make you melt, if you weren’t so annoyed.

“Yup.” A quick and short response as you used your magic to summon a snow shovel into your palm. He seemed a bit shocked, probably forgetting that you had the ability to summon most objects. Azriel reached out and grabbed the shovel as you turned toward the door, pulling you toward him. “No. Azriel, stop. I’m leaving” you bark trying to pull the shovel back. He doesn’t budge. Groaning you drop the shovel before summoning another and turning again.

The clatter of the first shovel on the floor is all you hear before he grabs the second in your hand. “Come on, y/n/n” he pleaded. He never called you by your nick name.

With an irritated sigh, you respond “then tell me why” your free hand coming to your hip in a stubborn and sassy manner.

“I can’t”

You huff and turn back to the door, dropping that shovel as well, “goodbye Azriel”, but before you can summon a third shovel he grabs the sides of your scarf, spins you around and pulls you toward him. So close to him that if you inched forward the slightest you would feel his chest on yours. His eyes were closed and his breath hitched. You were too stunned by the close proximity to move.

“It’s because I was scared. Alright? I was scared of what I felt that night. That you wouldn’t feel it too” His eyes remained closed and his hands still held you close by the ends of the scarf. His shadows circled you both, heavy and thick with darkness, filling the entryway.

“What feeling? Anger? Cause I can assure you, Az, I’m pretty pissed right now”

“No, y/n, what I felt wasn’t anger.” His eyes snapped open and the look in those hazel orbs was like nothing you’d ever seen. Pure love and compassion danced in his irises.

Your heart skipped a beat and then felt like it stopped all together. As if a rope was tied around it. Then a tug. Your chest tightened. Another tug. your heart felt like it was shocked. The butterflies were back, but this time they felt like they had multiplied by a hundred. Your heart beat faster. Another tug. Your eyes welled with tears. Was this what you thought it was?

Azriel’s eyes searched yours, his scarred hands came up to cup the sides of your face. Another tug. Hope filled his eyes and he wiped away a tear that slipped down your cheek. Another tug. And then a snap that locked everything into place. Your heart opened the flood gates and love washed over your entire body. The tears freely fell down your cheeks. Az brushed away as many as he could.

Another tug.

This time, you tugged back. Any worry left on his face was swept away and replaced with pure joy and he pulled you into his chest and lifted you off of your feet into the warmest hug any fae could ask for. The hug of their mate.

His shadows danced around you both. You could hear them now, chanting softly in silky tunes. Mate, mate, mate. “I didn’t want you to know that it snapped in place for me the second I ripped that piece of scum off of you. In the violent act, my heart revealed itself. I was so scared that you’d reject me, the idea of having a scarred male who is tethered to his job is not exactly the ideal mate, I know.” He pulled away from the hug, setting you down, looking at his feet.

“Azriel, i am just as tethered to this court. I’m responsible for the high lord and lady’s child for cauldrons sake,” you let out a sweet chuckle before placing your hand on the side of his face, “I wish you had told me.”

His eyes met yours, sadness flooded them, “y/n I am so so—“

“No, no. Like I said earlier. No apologies” you smiled warmly. You understood. You really did. Love was scary. That’s why you shoved your feelings down for him before. Only now you realize it was your heart trying to tell you who he was. That he was your mate.

Standing in the entryway of the River House, the front door wide open, the chill of the icy outside air breezing in. It all faded away as you brought your other hand to the other side of his face. His eyes met yours. His shadows curled around you both. With a small inhale to give you the courage, you pulled his face down to you and met his lips with yours. Time stilled. The kiss started soft and gentle, like you were both trying not to break the other. But it evolved into something deeper, more passionate. It was the kiss to end all other kisses. The heat that warmed your body was his, the cold air from the open door had nothing on the warmth you felt from the mating bond radiating between you two.

Pulling away from him only when you both desperately needed air, you grabbed his hand in yours and pulled him out of the entryway.

“Where we going, angel?” He asked, sounding like a love drunk male.

“The kitchen, my mate.”

[starfallserotonin]

Dawn Court — aesthetic board

[starfallserotonin]

Day Court — aesthetic board