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Cosimo Galluzzi
$LAYYYTER
macklin celebrini has autism
Kiana Khansmith
blake kathryn
Jules of Nature
Xuebing Du
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
roma★
Cosmic Funnies
Show & Tell
Andulka
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Origami Around
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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Product Placement
seen from Portugal
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seen from Vietnam
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@starlightandsouls
Masterlist
AO3
Azriel x Reader
Fragile
A small continuation of @hauntedwitch04 's fic
Yours To Keep And Cherish
Part 1 Part 2
Bookshop Brawls
1+1=4
Part 1 Part 2 Dadriel Headcannons
Hand In Hand, We Live
Fallen
Prologue
Sweater Weather
Chocolate Cake
Home
My Angel
Wildest Dreams
Yours to Have, Yours to Break
Part 2: Yours to Keep, Yours to Guard
Azriel x Eris
Family Line
Part 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
thinking about shane and ilya being parents and how ilya would probably be the “fun parent.”
everyone says it, even before they actually had kids. and shane laughed along, agreeing, not understanding the true implication of it. but once their daughter is old enough and it actually becomes his reality, he no longer feels like laughing.
because he’s the one that has to always put his foot down. ilya is a wonderful parent, a responsible parent, but he struggles to discipline their daughter. ilya takes one look at those big brown eyes and instead of telling her no, says, “go ask your daddy.” so it falls to shane. he has to say no, he has to put her in time out, he has be the one to make her cry.
and how can shane fault ilya? he loves their daughter so much and she loves him right back. and shane knows there’s a part of ilya that is terrified of becoming like his own father, so in attempt to reconcile that, he’s the fun one. plus, it’s not like their daughter is naughty. most of the time shane can have fun with her too, teaching her, reading to her, playing with her.
but one day, when their daughter is six, it comes to a head and she screams, “papa would never tell me no. i hate you” in front of both shane and ilya. and shane freezes. their daughter runs off to her room, crying, and ilya is about to follow her when he realizes that she’s not the only one crying.
shane has slumped to the floor in silent tears and ilya is like, “no, no, sweetheart, she didn’t mean it. she’s just upset.”
and shane has to tell him, “yes, she did. she might not hate me. but you would never tell her no. you never have to. cause i’m always here to do it for you.”
and ilya has to sit with the realization that always being the “fun parent” has left his husband to be the “strict parent,” “the boring parent,” “the mean parent.”
And yes I DO think that Shane was velcro baby with Yuna and I think she let it go on just a little too long. In my mind, Shane is a rainbow baby several times over and Yuna just...never quite gets past that with how permissive she is of him as a young child. So yes Yuna IS going to pick up Shane from daycare at ten-thirty AM on a Tuesday because the teacher called and said he was having a difficult time calming down after drop-off. And yes there is a stretch of six months or so when Shane is six and struggling with nightmares during which Yuna and David do not have sex one single time because Shane is in their bed like clockwork by nine PM every night. And yes Yuna continues picking Shane up and balancing him on her hip until she literally cannot do so anymore. And she cries, somewhere where nobody can see her, the first time Shane doesn't reach out to hold her hand in the grocery store anymore--and he's already too old to have been doing it for this long but fuck. Fuck. And from the day she brings him home from the hospital to the night before he moves out of her house permanently at age nineteen, if he is sleeping under her roof, and if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she cannot go back to sleep without cracking open the door of his bedroom and checking to make sure his chest is rising and falling.
Sometimes, occasionally, on random nights, she'll wake up and she won't know why and she has to call him to make sure it wasn't some kind of sign. And she knows it's probably bad and she knows it's probably not fair to his sleep schedule or to whatever personal life he may be trying to have but she just can't help it. And usually she only has to call once for him to pick up, voice bleary and sleep-deep, and he'll just say, "I'm fine, mom, go to sleep," because he knows her so well, her velcro baby.
And then once or twice it's two in the morning and it takes three calls for him to pick up and by the time he finally does she's pacing in the hallway in front of her and David's bedroom and the sound of his voice, slightly out of breath and strangely awake for this time of night, strikes her with icy relief.
"Mom," he sighs, "Sorry, I'm fine, I was just--I was, uh, asleep. And I didn't hear my phone."
"Oh, that's okay," Yuna says, even though she can tell he wasn't asleep and isn't sure why he's lying to her. She's been encouraging him to, like, live a little. Go out for more than just team bonding. Be a little fucking wild--be a twenty-something in one of the most interesting cities in the world. Surely he knows she wouldn't judge him.
And then she hears a rustle of sheets and a clearing of a throat that sort of very clearly didn't come from close enough to the phone for it to be Shane's throat it came from. And as soon as she hears it she knows that she shouldn't have, and that she needs to forget she did, and so she does.
"A-anyway, Mom, I gotta get back to sleep," Shane says. "We're on ice first thing in the morning and Coach isn't gonna go easy after that shitshow tonight, so..."
"Theriault always makes it personal about Boston," Yuna muses.
"Yeah, well, it's Boston. So, um. G'night and I love you and tell Dad that I'll see him on Thursday after his, uh, banquet thing."
"Will do. Love you too, sweetheart." There's a beat during which Shane should be hanging up the phone, but he doesn't, because he can probably tell that she has more she wants to say.
"Mom," he says, a little impatient, but he doesn't hang up. Sometimes, Yuna is glad that Shane is her only baby, because she genuinely doesn't know where she would fit twice as much love in her body.
"Just--are you...I mean..." She wants to ask are you happy, are you lonely, are you WITH someone right now and if you are please just tell me if they take care of you--
But, of course, she can't say any of that because Shane really, truly is not the baby in her arms or the child wrapped around her leg anymore, and she has to make her peace with that even if it means not knowing if he's okay.
"You know you can always talk to me, right?" she says finally.
And Shane just sighs, still a little impatient and frustrated, but his voice is gentle when he says, "Yeah, mom, I know."
Heluu!!
I read cardiac tamponade after seeing you rave about it and when I say that that fic hit my nervous system like a mfing freight train phuuwee...I was FLOORED to say the least. I've read it four times now and have had multiple breakdowns over how well it was written and how it captured both ilya and shane just right. I read grin and bear it again after I finished CT the third time and my oh my, did it do a number on me lol...
So, imma need you to plsplspls recc some more fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 that are along the same premise of the cens unintentionally or unknowingly keeping shane at arms length and shane either crashing out or like shoving all the feelings deep deep down and trying to push through it ....
For anyone unaware, cardiac tamponade by @as-the-stars-foretold (based on a fantastic post by @hollanovhaunting) is an absolute masterpiece about Shane joining the centaurs and the team treating him like shit bc they think he forced Ilya to stay in the closet and made him depressed. Completely soul wrenching. I’m obsessed with it. And grin and bear it is my own fic where Shane crashes out at Ilya for trying to force him to be friends with Troy.
There are sadly nowhere near enough fics with this premise of asshole centaurs 😭 But I will do my best to offer some fics with a similar vibe to compensate for inflicting you with the Cardiac Tamponade obsession (I’m sorry and you’re welcome)
New Centaur by Masterless (M, 6k) - this is based on the same post CT was based on, so it’s very similar!
infiltrators by inarosaurus (T, 50k) - shane joins the centaurs without them knowing about his relationship with ilya. the centaurs aren’t assholes in the first half of the fic, but then things get angsty for shane bc of some misunderstandings. the centaurs will def piss you off by the end
Team Player by Deepsea_Princess (T, 14k) - shane gets sick and is convinced he shouldn’t burden ilya so ilya can focus on the team. it’s more the coach who is pushing shane and ilya apart than the team but as that flavor of shane angst you might enjoy
every corner of this house is haunted by fightingwithtruelove (T, 7k) - shane overhears the centaurs talking and thinks they are disgusted by him and ilya. this one is a complete misunderstanding and the centaurs don’t do anything wrong, shane is just very anxious and insecure
bone-deep ache by carpcatfish (T, 9k, WIP) - Shane struggles with adapting to the centaurs. again the centaurs don’t really do anything wrong, but they do unintentionally make things worse
so cute wrapped around my finger by justhockey (T, 2k) - this is all fluff and humor, absolutely no angst so def not what you’re looking for but I love it so I’m sharing it anyway. the cens confront shane about being too controlling and shane is very confused. very silly and cute, so a nice palate cleanser for this angst filled list lol
I desperately wish I had more recs with a similar premise but sadly this is all I have 😞 If anyone has any additional recs, please send them my way!!
If anyone wants recs with supportive centaurs, asshole metros, or with shane specifically confronting Troy, I also have some of those so feel free to ask!
Remember to leave a comment if you enjoy any of these fics ❤️
I present to you some Shangst! Tried to do ones I don’t see recommended as often so I feel like at least one of these has to be new to you. All include shane physically injured or ill, bc I too like to see him suffer. I didn’t even include non-hockey AUs or fics where his issues are mental, so I do have more recs if needed…
Northern Attitude by 6th_Street - shane takes a skate to the throat, and nobody knows about him and ilya yet
twenty stitches in a hospital room by hollidayparty - another skate to the throat fic
Across the Red Line by Wipandwonder - another one
There have been threats by gsmaxwell - kidnapped shane
To be known is to be loved by twentyfirstcenturyjane - something’s wrong with shane, only ilya notices
love you ‘til my lungs give out by scarlettroses - shane gets a very severe brain injury. I sobbed
We All Get Our Bell Rung A Second Time, Right? by shewritesstuffhere - shane gets a head injury from comeau. WIP
Crisp Trepidation by kriskringle222 - Shane gets in a plane crash and gets a head injury. WIP
Don't Poke the Bear by meetmebythelilactree - voyageurs are legit awful to shane
The Antidote to Loneliness by kmart1885 - shane gets cancer. WIP
Say You'll Haunt Me by eddiemunsterwashere - shane is in a very bad plane crash
Nowhere else to go by yhut2013 - kidnapped shane
Also you’ve probably read them but also 10/10 recommend all of the PrincessAmericaChavez criminal procedural fics
this is actually a goated fic list and ive been hoarding it to work my way thru them……i read love you til my lungs give out and almost PASSED OUT…….currently midway thru to be known is to be loved oh my god ddd…….
#myshane was a late talker. Like really late, like almost 5 years old and never spoke once late. Yuna and David were a bit worried about it but it’s not like he didn’t communicate at all, just not with spoken words. He could clearly understand what was going on around him, he nodded or shook his head when he needed to, he pointed at things he wanted or needed, he could already read pretty reliably, he just. Didn’t talk. They made a concerted effort to speak to him like a person, not just baby talk, and in both English and French, in the hopes that he’d understand both languages better, even if he wouldn’t or couldn’t speak them.
They were starting to get concerned about how he’d do when he started kindergarten in the fall, there had been a few late night conversations about if they should find a speech therapist if he was still non-speaking by the time he started school, but one day after they’re driving home from a Centaurs game, Shane suddenly pipes up from his carseat in the back,
“Mama, Daddy, I wanna be a hockey player when I grow up.”
It’s so unexpected that David slams on the brakes and Yuna spills the remains of her ginger ale on her lap. They both whip their heads around to look at the small boy happily kicking his feet in the backseat wearing the jersey that looks more like a tent on him (he’ll go through a growth spurt in a month or two and it’ll fit just fine) who has no idea he just did anything special.
Turns out, he was just waiting until he was sure of his language abilities and found the right thing to say. After that, he happily chatted away in perfect English and perfect French, pointing out cool rocks or asking about interesting things he sees when he runs errands with his parents, or (to Yuna and David’s both horror and delight) chirping players when they watch hockey together, pointing out their weaknesses and mistakes and just generally talking shit, even at 5 years old.
After the first week of Centaurs camp, Shane wants to give Ilya a list of things he’s noticed about other people on the team. Minor fixes on form and positioning, new play ideas, general team notes. He asks Ilya to consider giving some of that feedback himself or to Weibe, but the ask leaves Ilya confused, then very angry with Montreal yet again.
"Hey, if I have notes for the team, do you want a list or can I just tell you?"
"..."
"Ilya? Did you hear me?"
"Yes, I hear you, мой любимый, but I am confused."
"Confused? I know it's only been a week so far, but I promise the list isn't huge. It's just little things I noticed."
"I am just wondering why you would give me a list."
"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep, Ilya. I'm sure you noticed these things too. You are a great captain. I shouldn't-"
"Hey, hey, Shane, slow down. I am not upset that you notice things. You have best hockey brain, yes? This is good for our team."
"Okay, I mean, thank you, but what are you confused about then?"
"It is just...why are you making list for me? I thought you were getting comfortable with everyone."
"I am, I promise. They have all been great."
"Yes, so you will tell them these things yourself? I think they will be very excited to learn from you."
"But I can't..."
"What? Why not? You are talking fine right now."
"No, Ilya, what? I'm not the captain. You are."
"Yes, this is true. I am captain, but you are Shane Hollander. You are probably the most trusted veteran player in whole entire league for this stuff. Everyone wants to play like you."
"Even if that's true-"
"It is."
"Fine, but I still am not the captain. I can't just make corrections and give notes or ideas."
"Why the fuck not? Your opinions will matter most to me. You are always right on the ice. Was very annoying to play against you, but now, you are on my side. We would be stupid to not listen."
"Is this an Ottawa thing?"
"What? Respecting you? I think it is a thing everywhere except Montreal."
"Shut up. I meant the talking thing. Anyone on the team can just say something?"
"Of course! This is a Montreal thing, yes?"
"I guess I thought it was a professional hockey thing."
"So, what happened in Montreal? Only coach and captains can talk?"
"I mean, only me and Theriault could give notes or run drills or explain film."
"Not even Pike? He wears A for you?"
"No, captain and coach only. Hayden could only do it if I wasn't there, which never really happened."
"That is very tiring for you. Even more work on your shoulders than you already had to deal with."
"Yeah, it was, but that's just how it worked. I thought it was like that everywhere. I didn't know any different."
"Well, you can learn different now because everyone on our team can speak up. You will never have to carry everything alone again."
"That sounds nice."
"So, practice on Monday, you will give your notes, yes? I will tell Weibe you have thoughts if it makes you feel better."
"Oh, um, yeah, that would actually help a lot."
"Okay, good, I will text him. You have notes for everyone? We can make time in morning meeting before ice time."
"Are you sure? I don't want-"
"Shane, enough, please. Everyone will want to know what you think. You see things other people do not. You are also new perspective. It is good for me to hear what I have maybe been missing."
"I'm sure you have noticed all the things on my list."
"Maybe, but you should also be the one to share. You see game in different ways than I do. You see everything."
"I don't know about that, but thank you."
"You do. You were a very good captain. Montreal did not appreciate you."
"...thanks, baby."
"Of course, Любовь моя. I will keep telling you until you actually believe me."
A little thought about Shane finally feeling the effects of so much change happening in one year and Ilya's reaction to it.
Shane knew it was a bad choice, but it felt like the right one in the moment. All the rage and sadness brought on by Montreal had been shoved down. Losing his routines and perfectly arranged apartment was pushed to the back of his mind. The anxiety of not knowing how to be a husband was made second to the immense joy of being married.
At a certain point, Shane simply had to turn off his emotions because there were too many to process. A part of him knew that they would come back at some point, but that could be a problem for future Shane.
Ottawa healed so much of that hurt, and being married to Ilya was a dream, but Shane decided to function on the idea that ignorance is bliss while hockey took the forefront of his mind. And because of that, they won the fucking cup. He helped the Centaurs win the Stanley Cup in his first season on a new team with his husband.
Shane should be the happiest person on the planet. This was literally a dream come true. There had been so many celebrations - the nights out, the parade, the meet and greets, the interviews, the pure ecstasy of the win. It had felt better than any of his Montreal wins in the moment.
So, why did everything feel so heavy now? Why did the thought of getting out of bed for a run with Anya make him want to cry a little bit? Why couldn’t Ilya just hold him in a tight embrace all day while they pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist? Why wasn't the cottage his perfect hideaway from the rest of the world like always?
Ilya had been on top of the world since that final buzzer called the end to Game 7, defining their historic win, but now, it was overshadowed with worry. Shane was staying in bed later, allowing Anya in that bed with him. Shane wasn't eating anything unless Ilya put food in his hands, chewing with disinterest and fatigue. Shane, his sweet Shane, who was usually so full of life, was empty.
Ilya was at a loss. He knew Shane’s panic. He knew how to talk him down and breathe through it. He knew how to slow his heart rate and make calming adjustments. He knew a Shane having a Shane bad day.
Ilya didn’t know this. He didn't know a Shane that looked like himself. He didn't know a Shane having an Ilya bad day. And he was pissed about it because Shane Hollander-Rozanov deserved a summer full of love and happiness. They had just lived the best possible year of their lives.
All Ilya could think was that brains were so fucking unfair.
imagine this
after getting outed, dealing with the backlash, and just the stress of all the sudden changes, Shane starts to develop sleeping problems. He hasn't had a proper nights rest in what feels like forever. He has trouble falling asleep on most nights, and on the nights that he doesn't, he'll wake up in a cold sweat from the nightmare of his Montreal team turning their backs on him. It gets to a breaking point and he needs real sleep. He takes melatonin, regardless of the fact that it's the middle of the day, as a last resort method to induce sleep and the melatonin in combination with his exhaustion totally knocks him out.
Ilya comes home from his therapy session and the house is oddly more quiet than usual. Shane would usually greet him whenever he came home, or there would be at least some trace of him around the house, but it's just quiet. He calls out for Shane but no one responds. Shane's shoes and his car are still here so he hasn't gone out. Ilya calls out for him again, but once more, it's just silence. Logically, he knows Shane is probably just taking a nap in their room. He knows he's been having trouble sleeping for a while but Ilya just can't shake off this familiar feeling of dread. He goes up to their bedroom and the scene he finds sends him back to his 12 year old self. Shane is motionless on the bed with a bottle of pills on the bedside table. All logic leaves him as he's greeted with the familiar sight. He doesn't stop to think what the pills might actually be. All he can think about is how he found his mother in a similar way all those years ago and he goes into a panic. Was the outing too much? Could he not take it anymore? Was his love and support not enough? All these questions brewed in the storm in his mind as he's thinking that he just lost the love of his life.
He runs up to Shane yelling his name and frantically starts checking his body all over. Shane jolts awake and as the two lock eyes, they both just stare at each other in shock. Ilya begins to sob and he embraces Shane as if he would drift away if he let go. Shane has no idea what's going on as he's still waking up from his post nap haze but he also embraces Ilya and begins to rub circles on his back in an attempt to soothe and comfort him. They eventually both fall asleep in each others embrace.
pen you love to hurt us (me) with shallergies posting..... anyways going off of current scenario of shane having a reaction at a metros party, how would ilya react??? would he be at a game and unable to get away in time to get to shane? would he be able to but would shane tell him he should focus on the centaurs (who by this point are on an upswing) and he cant afford to miss a game? if THAT ends up being the case, ilya would be torn between being with his team who he has gotten closer to or being with his boyfriend who has been struggling with HIS team and has essentially just been POISONED but told him not to come!! i think ilya would once more choose shane but im turning over the emotions at play from both of them......
MAN if we're going the route of shane doesn't want to tell ilya because ilya made so many sacrifices to make this work and now it's going to shit and shane doesn't know what to do about it (especially if he's at the point of knowing that ilya is having a hard time), 100% i buy him just. not telling ilya. maybe not actively lying because i don't think he would want to, but it gets announced that hollander is out on injury reserve and ilya (who watches his games and knows DAMN well shane hasn't been hurt in any of his recent ones and also hasn't heard anything about shane being sick even though they talk regularly) immediately texts shane like, "what's going on? what happened? are you okay?"
and shane tries to play it down with a "had a stupid reaction. it's fine. just standard recovery. i'll be back by the end of the week."
and ilya (understandably) is like "wait, where did you have a reaction? you went somewhere new or something?"
and now shane is being EXTRA shifty because he does NOT want to get into this and again! how the fuck do you tell your boyfriend, "hey, you're having a rough time, and you moved up here to be close to me so i could stay on my team, but it turns out that my team may or may not actively be fine with seriously hurting me, so congrats! it was for nothing! you uprooted your whole life for me and it meant ✨nothing✨." and i feel like shane cuts the call short with just, "i'm really tired and my head hurts, can we talk later?"
and ilya is obviously a little suspicious because why?? is shane suddenly being so evasive?? especially when ilya's only thought is "oh, a place must have changed their ingredients or a restaurant now isn't safe." but he's also seen shane post-reaction before and does know that he's exhausted after so yeah. of course. feel better. he'll check in later.
and shane finally admits it was at a team bbq and ilya is ??? i thought you didn't eat at any?? and shane has to admit that it was at hayden's and now ilya is automatically furious because his immediate thought is that hayden wasn't careful enough and now shane is trying to defend hayden while also not having to tell ilya the truth.
and now it's a weird thing between them that they're deliberately not addressing, and meanwhile shane is also still processing what this means moving forward while trying to pretend this is all fine.
BAD TIMES FOR EVERYONE. EVERYONE GETS ONE.
Slooooowly chipping away at the fic currently titled "shallergies party poisoning" inspired by this post so here's a little snippet from the prologue for motivation:
"What is the worst thing that could happen if you ate dinner with the Pikes like you used to?" By this point in their therapeutic relationship, this will be a familiar game. What's the worst that could happen? What would happen if the worst happened? What's the most likely thing to happen? "I could eat something I'm allergic to and go into anaphylactic shock and die." Leon will do one of those things Shane appreciates about him so much: ask a direct question. "Do you think that's a rational or an irrational fear?" Heart racing in his chest, Shane will dig his fingernails into the meat of his thighs and say, "Well, I didn't die, obviously, but the other part. That stuff did happen."
I have a lot of cleaning to catch up on this weekend and I also decided to make a dress but! I really, really want to get this done. So I am going to make a commitment to getting it done enough this weekend. Hold me to that.
Shane makes a noise that starts as a snort and ends as a wheeze. "Nobody tried to murder me." Jackie's noise sounds a lot less pathetic. "Well, they could have! I am fucking furious. That was fucking scary, Shane. You could have died." "Swear jar." "Don't fucking deflect."
Ok so I read your shallergies fics and first of all: magical, show stopping, stupendous, thank you for your talent.
Second of all!!! In one of your fics you have like an almost throw away line where Hayden mentions he’s had to stop the other Voyageurs/Metros players from fucking with Shane’s food and like. Now my mind is rife with the ✨possibilities✨ of that scenario. Like. One of them adds peanuts or something to something Shane thinks is safe as a prank and Hayden doesn’t catch it and suddenly Shane is in anaphylaxis and everyone is freaking the fuck out. The next time Ilya plays Montreal that one player gets laid the FUCK out for some reason.
combo-ing with @pitrosa just because both of y'all were getting to the same DELICIOUS possibility of a wild amount of angst.
like the idea of someone fucking with shane's food at a party at jackie and hayden's place not because they know shane is allergic but because they're shitty and i 100% buy some bigoted asshole seeing it as a way shane is just trying to be special and other. so they knowingly do something like stir in some peanut butter or mix in some coconut oil. literally just something they see easily available in this one minute window in the kitchen they have when they're just being an asshole.
and even beyond just the nightmare of now shane has a reaction and this is one more thing that the team didn't know about previously and can spin into "so you didn't trust us?" IGNORING WHAT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED HERE, the fact that like. now shane isn't safe eating at events. or even fucking. being at events, tbh. like GOD the isolation of your team is cold to you now and you don't know which one of them fucked with you and you don't know that one or more of them won't do it again to hurt you. and it's not like any of them are going to fess up and own it because bigots are cowards and ALSO (even though shane wouldn't do it, i don't think) this is now like. pressing charges level.
and it's ONE MORE FUCKING THING that shane was afraid of!! and then it happened to him!!! what a fucking HEINOUS contribution to his anxiety getting worse while also feeling so isolated because even if hayden and jackie are equally PISSED and still invite you over when it's just y'all and you KNOW the food is safe. what the fuck are you even supposed to do here?
you are once again the kid alone at the allergy table, and this time it's because everyone else (it feels like) put you there on purpose.
also adding to this is that i know hayden would be fucking LIVID about this and ready to square the FUCK up with an asshole. like it's enough that they fucked with shane, but they also did it in HAYDEN'S house. where he has tried for years to make shane feel comfortable. he invited everyone into his home and they hurt his best friend, who has priority in being here over everyone as far as he's concerned.
and stuff with jj is SO complicated with the ilya of it all, but jj is shane's friend and i don't think?? was bad about him coming out?? (just being with ilya and not telling jj about that??) (if i remember correctly??) so we also have jj now angry on shane's behalf. and yeah, maybe he might be hurt that shane didn't tell him, but your friend having to go to the hospital has a way of kind of lining priorities up.
which means we now have blatant dividing lines down this team of who is falling on which side in a way that maybe wasn't even the case when it was about shane being gay. because this is a tangible and real thing that someone has used to hurt shane *could* use to hurt shane again. (and again! don't know exactly who it was!) and like it is NOT shane's fault. but i 100% see him feeling like it's his fault (and maybe even hearing that it's his fault from other people because well cap isn't keeping the team together now, is he?)
also thinking of the awful moment when Shane realises he's having a reaction and it's a bad one, this is dangerous, and there's people everywhere and he KNOWS Jackie wouldn't be so careless and she knows what to do but he can't see her right now and he doesn't remember if his jacket is on a hanger in the entry or with the pile in one of the guest rooms and okay, wait, there's an epipen in the kitchen because he's here so often, if he gets that he just needs to find Hayden to call an ambulance for him—meanwhile the guys are watching Shane Hollander start wheezing and turning a very alarming colour and his face is swelling up and he's stumbling past people and crashing into furniture and it's genuinely scary, it's actually terrifying, what the fuck? and the Pikes are dropping everything and zeroing in on him because right, they've always been like this, fucking weird, if Hollzy wasn't gay they'd all think he was fucking Jackie, but right now she's holding his face in her hands like he's made of glass and Pike is forcing him to sit on the floor and he's on the phone and looks like he's about to punch a motherfucker and when Jackie climbs into the ambulance with Hollander the house has been deathly silent for five minutes as everyone realises, whether they know what happened or not, that another line has been crossed and there's no going back
GOD shane in the middle of fucking anaphylaxis having to try and think of "gotta get out of sight gotta get out of sight gotta get out of sight" because the vibe with the team is already Fucking Weird, and he sure as HELL isn't going to have THIS happen in front of them.
but like. you can only hide anaphylaxis so fucking much.
so the worst of it happens out of sight with jackie helping shane into one of the guest rooms on the first floor while hayden goes to grab his jacket for him.
and also the double whammy FURY in the aftermath of now someone has hurt hayden's best friend in his home AND scared the hell out of his children because they had to watch uncle shane get so sick and are now upset because he had to leave the house in an ambulance with mommy. and the distribution of labor in that choice was jackie also being pissed and knowing, "either i'm going in this ambulance, or i'm catching a fucking charge today." and hayden being left to try and work out what the fuck just went down here because he's equally furious but at least has some level of knowing all of the guys here, but now he's trying to get updates on shane, calm the kids down and promise them uncle shane is okay and yeah they can maybe visit him later if he feels up to it, and also work out who the fuck decided they wanted to die today.
and with all of this?? like HELL is the person who did it thinking it was just a mean ass prank going to speak up. because this is now "maybe catching a charge for poisoning cap" territory and also a FURIOUS hayden pike is visibly ready to throw hands. time to keep it to yourself and SKEDADDLE.
GOD 100% I think hayden and jackie would be like YEP THAT'S DONE with hosting, but now??? soooo??? where is hosting going to happen?? ain't going to be shane's house.
and now showing up at someone's house when they host is a fucking STATEMENT, especially if it's someone who is especially notably Not Cool with shane.
and the way shane would still be taking the blame for this!! both from the shitty ones on the team and also feeling like it's his fault!! because the team is literally splintering around him and what the FUCK is he supposed to do about it!!
and the growing tension!! certainly doesn't make him feel LESS like someone is going to fuck with him!!
YOU STOP THAT
TWENTY MINUTE TIMEOUT IN THE SANDBOX D:<
god and the EXTREMELY complex feelings shane would have about the rookie in the aftermath.
like NO of course he doesn't want this kid's career nuked because he was stupid and ended up being a patsy for fucking with shane-
-but also. he did do it.
like yeah the kid hero worshipped him in a way that was a little overwhelming but also?? kind of a relief?? when it felt like so much of the team was icing him out?? and yet when it came down to shane or the rest of the team, the rookie sided with the rest of the team to fuck with him. and he didn't KNOW it was serious, but he also didn't know it WASN'T.
and shane being so fucking angry that he knows he's supposed to forgive the kid here, but why does he ALWAYS have to be the one forgiving? why does he just have to take it on the chin and keep going and keep his head up and don't snap and don't not smile when you're supposed to and don't ever let that mask slip, young man, because it won't take much for those cheers to turn to jeers-
and even when he's trying SO FUCKING HARD why does it feel like he's still fucking FAILING.
Now imagining Ilya learning about Shallergies in Sochi, when he hears from Svetlana that Hollander is scratched from the final US-Canada match due to a medical emergency, AKA almost dying via cross-contamination after the men's figure skating short program, and is now recovering at a local hospital.
Well, shit, man, you yelled at your totally casual fuckbuddy and he went and almost died on you.
listen i ALMOST gave him a reaction in sochi, but buddy only got one olympics before the nhl decided to be a killjoy
i didn't want to take it from him
hear me out: Shane has a reaction after Ilya ghosts him. They fuck for the first time, Ilya ignores some texts because he’s Going Through It and the next time they’re supposed to see each other Shane isn’t there. He’s not playing. He’s really sick, they say. Had to be taken in an ambulance. Came out of nowhere. And Ilya can’t find out a damn thing because he’s the one who ghosted Shane, he’s got a game to play in half an hour and nobody has any answers. He just has to wait.
I really like role reversal aus, just a fun thing to explore how different the characters and their dynamics would be if we switched something about them
Most common I've seen in this fandom I think is switching their draft pick order, but let's get more funky!
Bisexual Shane x Gay Ilya, they would be totally different characters and I wonder
Experienced and Confident Shane x Inexperienced and Eager Ilya, hot hot hot
And, one thats been diabolically ping-ponging in my brain for a while...
Toxic and Abusive Family Dynamics Shane x Stable and Supportive Family Ilya, when the danger of Russia and the safety of Canada are not total and absolute, and everything gets murkier...
I really like that last one
Maybe it's because I'm writing about it at the moment, but I'm just thinking about Shane and the little town near his cottage.
It only has one of everything. There's a butchery and a bakery and the tiniest supermarket you could possibly imagine – basically a slightly expanded convenience store. There's a florist and a curio shop.
There's one mechanic who ends up servicing more snow plows in a year than cars. The cinema only seats about 50 per theater, only has two theaters, and only gets the latest movies at least a month or two after the rest of the world does.
There's a goodwill and a hardware store and a sporting goods store that only sells the entry-level stuff or the high-end stuff because those are the only two groups of people who shop there. There's a cheap motel and a luxury bed and breakfast. There's a diner whose menu hasn't changed in fifty years.
There's a church that only a fraction of the town attends, but whose hall everyone uses for every possible event you could imagine: support groups, dances, birthday parties, weddings, anniversary celebrations, wakes, preschool concerts.
Shane knows everyone in this town. These people have watched Shane grow up, and adore him. Even though he only spends a few weeks there every year, and they don't have any real claim to him, when he goes pro it feels like one of their own makes it big. When it's rumoured that the new big lakeside mansion that's going up is Shane's, the town is buzzing with it. They hope it means he'll be back more.
And he is. He can only spend summers there most of the time, but wherever there's a gap in his calendar, he likes to escape to his 'cottage' for a few days. Shane knows when he goes back and people are excited to see him, it's not because he's Shane Hollander, MLH Star – it's because he's little Shane, David and Yuna's boy, now all grown up.
When rumours start spreading that for the past few summers he's been spotted bringing someone to the cottage with him, and that that someone looks a lot like Ilya Rozanov, a whole town meeting is called where it's collectively decided that no one is to breathe a word of this to anyone. This is Shane's town and they refuse to betray him. If there's even a hint that someone might start spreading rumours, they get blacklisted from every shop in town. They take this shit deathly seriously.
When it all comes out, they're not surprised when Shane shows up to escape. But this time he has a surprisingly polite and friendly Russian hockey player in tow, who looks absolutely thrilled to be hugged and fussed over as he's introduced as Shane's fiancé. Shane tells them that they've come to their cottage for a few days to escape the media circus and regroup, and Shane thought it was about time Ilya got to meet the people of his favourite place in the world.
When Shane and Ilya are invited to the line dancing night they've organised in the church hall that night, Ilya's surprised when Shane agrees enthusiastically. And as he and Shane fumble their way through the first few dances, collapsing into each other in a fit of laughter as they try to catch their breath, Ilya just looks at Shane and brushes a strand of hair out of his face.
"It was never just the cottage, was it?"
"No," says Shane. "This town has always been home."
"Then I'm glad I finally got to see it."
A few years later, there's a bigger buzz than ever as whispers fly that Shane and Ilya have been spotted pushing a baby buggy around town. Shane feels an indescribable warmth as people excitedly talk about Shane and Ilya's baby girl.
"Iris," he smiles, introducing his daughter to his favourite town in the world, knowing that these wonderful people will help raise her the way they helped raise him.
@heatonice I have no self restraint and too much free time. I apologise...
Ilya is feels something ugly crawl up his throat after the first time shane scores for Ottawa. He doesn’t see ecstatic delight that always blooms on Shane's face even when they're simply passing pucks in the rink attached to the cottage, Doesn't see the easy confidence that shane usually carries himself with on the ice, Doesn't see THE shane hollander's victory smile.
What he sees is desperate relief creeping up on Shane's face and it makes Ilya feel like he ate rocks for lunch.
His husband, one of best players ever to grace the ice, amongst the most decorated players in the league...stares at his own hands in disbelief....
Like he didn't know if he could still do it....
Like he needed permission to be there....
Like he had to prove his worth....
And Ilya promises himself....never again... never.ever.again.
