A couple weeks ago, a student told me I have "the soul of a unicorn and the mind of Hamilton."
It might the weirdest but most uplifting compliment anyone's ever given me. I can't stop thinking about it.
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@starlightsoftness
A couple weeks ago, a student told me I have "the soul of a unicorn and the mind of Hamilton."
It might the weirdest but most uplifting compliment anyone's ever given me. I can't stop thinking about it.
i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless
#shark skin is actually covered in tiny barbs #aka teeth #they are literally a swimming tooth
I suddenly have the urge to grate cheese on a great white
wouldn’t that make the shark a
grate white
This post got weird
This post started with fucking hairless sharks. Weird wasn’t a destination so much as a jumping off point.
I’ve never been so surprised not to encounter the word “smooth” in a text post
i was having a conversation with my friend about my new apartment and i told her "i would trade air conditioning for a dishwasher" and she looked stunned, and so now i'm curious about y'alls preference
would you rather have
a dishwasher
air conditioning/hvac
i have no stakes in this matter (results)
getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes
one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."
My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.
For the people in the notes going "why is Boston like this": a) the insults are a way to show you have no ulterior motives when helping someone (and don't need to be thanked or repaid), and b) Boston was settled by the Irish
also the Italians. mixing Irish and Italian sociocultural attitudes had the effect of multiplying the Sass Levels by the power of infinity, in the sense that you get all of the clever dry wit of the Irish and all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians rolled into one very stereotypically overly-friendly American package.
also worth noting that who you are to them doesn’t matter. they’ll talk to strangers like that and will also talk to their best friends like that. they’re just Like That.
More from the notes:
“Ugh can’t stand babies they cry so much!”
That tiny Human spirit has shat himself 4 times today if you’d shat yourself 4 times by noon you’d be in hysterics too
He fell asleep in his bed, at home, and woke up at the goddamn grocery store with an overhead light in his face if that happened to you you’d become The Joker
Poor guy’s only been here for like a dozen weeks he doesn’t even have a favorite show to distract him yet he’s just raw-dogging reality unfiltered with no goddamn Blorbos to rotate whatsoever
Something I love about Maia The Goblin Emperor is that despite being profoundly lonely and intensely critical of himself, it’s clear right from the start that he’s absolutely sharp as a tack when it comes to people, which causes him to both latch onto any sort of affection he receives while also holding it at arm’s length. This is a man who repeatedly has the thought “Well this is a blatant attempt to manipulate me, but I don’t mind it so long as they’re pretending to be nice”
there should be a term for characters you personally don't care about but you defend them anyways because the way people treat them is really uncomfortable. like ok this is a very middle-of-the-road character for me but the fandom's either been super misogynistic, racist, etc. about them or harassed innocent people who try to genuinely explore that character warts and all, and i find that more annoying than the actual character.
May you have the confidence of a medieval bestiary artist drawing an animal he has never seen, never will see, and hasn’t got the slightest idea of what it looks like
May you have the confidence of a medieval bestiary blogger posting animals from renaissance paintings they've never looked into, never will look into, and haven’t got the slightest idea of what a medieval bestiary even is
“marginalia”
hey @feminist-mina-harker please elaborate on the chameleon bestiary rant
Okay, since you asked for it, here is the chameleon bestiary rant.
This is a chameleon from a lavish thirteenth-century bestiary, Bodley MS 764, produced in England c. 1240.
'Haha', you say, 'look at those idiot scribes! They drew a rainbow horse instead of a lizard!'
That's when I hit you over the head with a baseball bat and tell you to shut your fucking mouth.
Because of course this illuminator had never seen a chameleon--the vast majority of chameleon species live in sub-Saharan Africa, with a few in Asia and one in the southernmost part of Europe. Only a very few people had the ability to travel extensively during this time, and it was extremely risky to do so even if you were one of the tiny percentage who had the means.
Instead, they relied on descriptions--written, not verbal--from the few people who had traveled, such as this one:
'The chameleon is not all of one colour, but is multi-coloured, like the pard. It is able to vary the colours of its body very easily, whereas the bodies of other animals cannot readily be changed in this way. The chameleon-pard is so called because while it is like the pard in having white spots, its neck is like that of a horse, its feet like those of an ox, but its head is like that of a camel.' (Richard Barber, 1992, pp. 67-68)
'But Lucy,' you would say, had you not been thoroughly concussed with the baseball bat, 'chameleons don't look like leopard-horse-ox-camel hybrids! That's crazy!' And if you had said this, I would beat you over the head again, and say yes they do, if you think about it for more than thirty seconds.
Let's start with the first part of the description: 'it is like the pard in having white spots.' You see those little white spots around that central stripe? Check.
Second: 'its neck is like that of a horse.' That dorsal ridge is pretty reminiscent of a mane, and when they stretch their necks, you can see the resemblance to the musculature of a horse:
Check.
Third: 'its feet like those of an ox.' You see those bifurcated toes, and the tiny claws at the end of them? That's an extremely distinctive feature of chameleons, and well worth describing. You know what other animal has bifurcated feet and would be very familiar to the medieval people back home in England? An ox, with cloven hooves:
Look at the claws at the end of chameleon toes and tell me you don't see the resemblance. Check.
Fourth: 'its head is like that of a camel.' This one's a little confusing until you remember that some camels have heads with prominent ridges/bumps, like this:
Looks like a smaller version of the crest on our second lil chameleon, no? Check.
'But Lucy,' you'd interrupt again if you still had all your teeth, 'that might explain the description, but not the drawing--they got it all wrong!' To which I would reply that the description was all these illuminators had. They couldn't have conversations with the travelers directly to gather what exactly they meant by 'feet of an ox' (bifurcated) or 'head of a camel' (crested)--they only had the words themselves.
So you end up with this image, which very much does have the white spots of a leopard, the neck of a horse, the feet of an ox, and the head of a camel.
And since they didn't have any other guidance as to size, body shape, tail, etc., they improvise those based on the animals the description said it resembles--the body shape of a horse, the tail of an ox, etc.
In conclusion, don't be mean to medieval illuminators. They were not stupid, they were not overconfident; they were simply doing the best they could with the information that was given to them.
And if you have a problem with that, my baseball bat is always ready.
Okay, I really feel I should step in and say something. Much as I appreciate this defense of the artist, I must address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the giraffe. foreshadowing
First off, as I've discussed before on this very weblog, bestiaries were not based on traveler's tales. They copied and paraphrased previous authoritative Classical works, with additions, omissions, and alterations creeping in as copies were made of copies. In the case of MS Bodley 764, the primary sources were an earlier bestiary and On the Nature of Things by Rabanus Maurus, along with Gerald of Wales, Hugh of Fouilloy, and Peter of Cornwall as other sources. Meanwhile, the bestiary's obsession with finding the etymology of names is a holdover from Isidore of Seville, another major source. And ultimately all bestiaries owe their existence to the Physiologus (Barber, 1993).
And things got confusing! Because as mentioned, the process of copying and rewriting previous authors led to all sorts of confusion. I've already talked about how a sea monster evolved from Aristotle's account of the elephant filtered through a Latin translation from an Arabic translation from the Greek.
Classical authors were well aware of what chameleons look like. Aristotle talks about the chameleon having a lizard's body, with descending ribs and a backbone that sticks up like a fish. He describes its face as apelike, its tail as long, its feet as divided into two parts - in fact, he goes into detail about how the feet have five toes, with the ones in front having three in and two out, the ones in the back having three out and two in. He even describes the chameleon's bizarre turreted eyes (Aristotle, 1862). Hm, I should look into a newer translation of Aristotle, come to think of it.
But that's not the point. The point is that at least as far back as Aristotle, people knew what a chameleon looked like. Above is the chameleon Aristotle would have been familiar with, the common chameleon (the chameleon posted further above is from Madagascar). I guess you could say the spots look leopardy? Either way, the description still seems... wrong.
Let's take a look at it then. There's something fishy about it. Don't worry, I'll highlight it.
"The chameleon is not all of one colour, but is multi-coloured, like the pard. It is able to vary the colours of its body very easily, whereas the bodies of other animals cannot readily be changed in this way. The chameleon-pard is so called because while it is like the pard in having white spots, its neck is like that of a horse, its feet like those of an ox, but its head is like that of a camel. It is a native of Ethiopia." (Barber, 1993, pp. 67-68)
What gives? What animal are we talking about here, a chameleon or a chameleon-pard? And why does it live in Ethiopia? We just said chameleons are found in Europe!
And this is where it starts to make sense. These are two separate accounts, one about a color-changing animal called a chameleon and one about an Ethiopian animal called a chameleon-pard. You probably know it by another name.
That's right, the giraffe (Giraffa camelopardalis). See, the name's right there! Because it was seen as having spots like a pard/leopard (that's another thing to discuss) and otherwise camel features! These are two different animals!
The last piece of the puzzle comes from the source of this information. In this case, Bodley 764 copies almost verbatim from Isidore of Seville.
"The chameleon (chamaeleon) does not have one color alone, but is speckled with a diverse variety like the pard. It is named thus... The small body of the chameleon changes with a very easy transformation to whatever colors it may see, while the larger body size of other animals is not as suited to an easy transformation. The giraffe (camelopardus) is so called because while it is speckled with white spots like the pard (pardus), it has a neck like a horse, ox-like feet, and a head like a camel (camelus). Ethiopia produces this animal." (Isidore of Seville, 2006, p. 252)
And there you have it. Isidore of Seville describes the chameleon and the giraffe in sequence. Our bestiarist followed his lead, but took "camelopard" to be "chameleon-pard". And, as far as I can tell, the artist either treated them both as the same animal, or just illustrated one of them (the chameleon-pard).
Either way, this confusion of the chameleon with the camelopard/chameleon-pard led to, for instance, this depiction of the chameleon in the Ortus Sanitatis, accessed here.
On the other hand, other sources give us a more reptilian chameleon, such as Valenciennes 0320 (Cantimpré's Liber de natura rerum, accessed here).
References
Aristotle, Cresswell, R. trans. (1862) Aristotle’s History of Animals. Henry G. Bohn, London.
Barber, R. (1993) Bestiary. The Boydell Press, Woodbridge.
Isidore of Seville, trans. Barney, S. A.; Lewis, W. J.; Beach, J. A.; and Berghof, O. (2006) The Etymologies of Isidore of Seville. Cambridge University Press, Cambridge.
Not a manuscript, but relevant to our interests (alas we do not have an illustrated bestiary in our collection, but perhaps someday)
>First, we’ve discovered that about a quarter of all the internet connection in or out of the house were ad related. In a few hours, that’s about 10,000 out of 40,000 processed.
>We also discovered that every link on Twitter was blocked. This was solved by whitelisting the https://t.co domain.
>Once out browsing the Web, everything is loading pretty much instantly. It turns out most of that Page Loading malarkey we’ve been accustomed to is related to sites running auctions to sell Ad space to show you before the page loads. All gone now.
>We then found that the Samsung TV (which I really like) is very fond of yapping all about itself to Samsung HQ. All stopped now. No sign of any breakages in its function, so I’m happy enough with that.
>The primary source of distress came from the habitual Lemmings player in the house, who found they could no longer watch ads to build up their in-app gold. A workaround is being considered for this.
>The next ambition is to advance the Ad blocking so that it seamlessly removed YouTube Ads. This is the subject of ongoing research, and tinkering continues. All in all, a very successful experiment.
>Certainly this exceeds my equivalent childhood project of disassembling and assembling our rotary dial telephone. A project whose only utility was finding out how to make the phone ring when nobody was calling.
>Update: All4 on the telly appears not to have any ads any more. Goodbye Arnold Clarke!
>Lemmings problem now solved.
>Can confirm, after small tests, that RTÉ Player ads are now gone and the player on the phone is now just delivering swift, ad free streams at first click.
>Some queries along the lines of “Are you not stealing the internet?” Firstly, this is my network, so I may set it up as I please (or, you know, my son can do it and I can give him a stupid thumbs up in response). But there is a wider question, based on the ads=internet model.
>I’m afraid I passed the You Wouldn’t Download A Car point back when I first installed ad-blocking plug-ins on a browser. But consider my chatty TV. Individual consumer choice is not the method of addressing pervasive commercial surveillance.
>Should I feel morally obliged not to mute the TV when the ads come on? No, this is a standing tension- a clash of interests. But I think my interest in my family not being under intrusive or covert surveillance at home is superior to the ad company’s wish to profile them.
>Aside: 24 hours of Pi Hole stats suggests that Samsung TVs are very chatty. 14,170 chats a day.
>YouTube blocking seems difficult, as the ads usually come from the same domain as the videos. Haven’t tried it, but all of the content can also be delivered from a no-cookies version of the YouTube domain, which doesn’t have the ads. I have asked my son to poke at that idea.
fastest reblog in the west
Yeppers. :)
reblogging for study later AND to spread the info.
Seriously, get and run PiHole if you can. It changes your internet experience so much for the better. I get shocked when I visit a website when I'm someone else's network, by just how many ads the internet is flooded with now. Take back control.
It wimdy
thank you so much @mugwomps my goodness
Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.
“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”
“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”
speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.
i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.
so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.
and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.
so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.
so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.
and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.
everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."
and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.
i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.
the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.
people keep pointing out how bewildering this must have been from her point of view and it's making me laugh to tears. i never considered it. i had such a solid plan in my head. i went downstairs to find something to dump on the bed and when i saw the tomato soup i knew it was perfect because it has a distinct smell that would cover anything else and a color which would do the same.
i was so focused on my mission that in the 14 years since i've never once considered what it must have been like for her to decide to trust me because she had no other options, sit there in anguish for three minutes, and then watch me walk back into the room and dump soup on everyone.
“As you read a book word by word and page by page, you participate in its creation, just as a cellist playing a Bach suite participates, note by note, in the creation, the coming-to-be, the existence, of the music. And, as you read and re-read, the book of course participates in the creation of you, your thoughts and feelings, the size and temper of your soul.”
— Ursula K. Le Guin
this means that every person brings themselves to every piece of art. it means we all experience a different piece of art. each time we return to a story we are creating a different story. rereading is good actually
i feel very stongly that elizabeth 100% would have sworn darcy to eternal secrecy about the fact that he had already proposed once unsuccessfully when she accepted, solely bc you just KNOW mr collins' smug ass would be like, "oh ho ho! huh! so apparently it IS the usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept when he applies for their favor! hm! interesting!" and then she would be honor-bound to leap over lady catherine's dining table and strangle him
what super expensive indulgence would u get for urself if u suddenly came into a bunch of money?? assume all bills/mortgages paid, all friends helped: what treat are u buying just for u?? for me it would be a quilted lambskin chanel bag in iridescent pink
Happy Dot in the I Day to all who celebrate
Today is Tuesday and also July
But sometimes never