⌦ .｡.:*♡ jjba + aot blog | ✎ ask box open! have an idea? I'd love to hear it :3 𓆩♡𓆪 professional jean enthusiast 𓆩♡𓆪 kakyoin's muse 𓆩♡𓆪 jotaro's mermaid 𓆩♡𓆪
Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”
So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”
Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.
Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.
it’s so special to me that so much of fan culture is textual analysis for the love of the game. like thank god there are people in my phone who are also thinking about this thing i love so much that they are writing transformative fiction as character studies and setting clips of the show to music with theme-relevant lyrics and writing long text posts analyzing every line of dialogue like!! yay!!!
On one side, they dedicate their heart… and on the other side, they are cool ✨ …And safe ! 💦
Dear Tumblr people, I’m catching up on my 2025 art here, so I would also like to introduce you to my pillow keychains! All of them have two different designs (104th + School Castes)! Their height is 10 cm, they are super soft and they still are ready to find a new home in my shop! 🙇♀️🥰
thinkin about… tall and sexy southern!eren yeager who’s got tatts running all down his broad, sun tanned arms. southern!eren who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty with the grime and dirt from the garden he’s been building for you in the backyard over the past couple of days. southern!eren who’s emerald green eyes greedily find yours as he pulls his hair into a messy half up half down to guzzle the tall glass of homemade lemonade you made for him just like he asked because you’re his pretty little housewife who loves to cook for him. you’re dressed in that pretty pink polka dot vs set, your freshly done quickweave in pin curls that make you look like a doll. you’ve yet to take off your babydoll makeup look.
after eren finishes the glass you’re boasting about your day in the city with your girlfriends and flashing your 2000s french tip nails in his face with the biggest grin on your pretty face. “i wanted the base colour to be something like dnd’s ‘ballet slipper.’” you said, “you know that baby pink color i was showing you the other day, rennie? i got em on my toes, too.”
eren was leaning on the door of his truck, but even while doing so, he stands so tall in front of you, staring at you, his girl, lovingly as you talked his ear off, then pulling him into the cute cabin style house you to called home to eat dinner while it was still hot.
“you had fun today, baby?” he askes from behind you, his large hands rubbing little circles on your hip bone while you made the two of you dinner plates. you nodded, excitedly plopping yourself at the cute little circular wooden dinner table. eren listened carefully to you while you continued to talk, and he wondered if, in the back of your mind, you knew how much he truly loved hearing you speak. even if he didn’t show it as much, southern!eren couldn’t get enough of you.
@𝒫𝑅𝑅𝐼𝒩𝒞𝐸𝒮𝒮𝐵𝒜𝐵𝒴𝒟𝒪𝐿𝐿 2026 ⸻ please do not steal my work of feed it to ai, thank you!
warning: nsfw lol! spice is a lot... spicier than my eren one...
includes: general, personality, appearance, friends, as ur bf, spicy
inspired by my jean kirstein fic: cherry flavoured!! can be read on wattpad and ao3.
a/n: these are MY personal headcanons, if you don't agree with stuff that's fine lol, it's a headcanon for a reason. i don't normally write smut/spicy stuff so if it sounds awkward its cause im probably bad and just awkward abt it LOL. this is a lengthy (very long) post. wc: 5.6k
general/random!
⟢ half german (dad), half french (mom); jean is french for douchebag btw (slap aot ref LMAOO).
⟢ knows how to speak french; not a lot he's close to being fluent but he only speaks it with his mama. never speaks it in front of people usually, including his close friends because he's lowk embarrassed that his accent sounds weird asf. (it doesn't he sounds so so so sexy)
⟢ however if he's tried, pissed tf off, drunk, he will start talking in french / mix his sentences (canadian francophone core lowk)
⟢ his voice is deeper in french and there's A LOT more emotion and like just general yearn in his tone cause french is just such a romantic language (saying this as someone who is fluent in french LMAO)
⟢ once again we got ANOTHER mama's boy. loves his mom to death, even if he lowk used to be SUCH an asshole to her in front of people smh. calls her maman (french for mom), or mama (<3).
⟢ that one time he was an asshole to her in front of his friends after she called him jean-boy is one of his life's biggest regrets and to this day he apologizes for it and feels SO guilty abt it
⟢ nerd. nerd. nerd. man is a NERDDDDDD A LOSER NERD. he LOVES classic novels (oscar wilde, jane austen, emily bronte, fyodor dostoevsky).
⟢ at first he lowk only started reading classics like the picture of dorian grey to look cool and mysterious but he soon realized that classics were actually really good and he genuinely enjoyed them
⟢ cinema buff. loves classic films like LOT trilogy, the godfather, scarface, fight club, whiplash, etc. BUT he also secretly loves romcoms and tragic yearning romances like la la land, pride and prejudice, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, 10 things i hate about you. but also loves other movies that would be on a teenage girls fav movie list like beautiful boy, interstellar, little women, lady bird. also brokeback mountain stan. he cries every single time he watches that movie.
⟢ he would not like timothee chalamet. i said what i said. even though he really enjoys the guys acting.
⟢ lowk a performative male without really noticing it or trying. it's just like built in him to be a genuinely attractive guy to women. (just never the women he actually likes unfortunately) like HE IS the female gaze.
⟢ lowk a raging bisexual icon but he often confuses feelings of romance for those of stronger platonic friendships (case in point marco- but lowk jean was genuinely in love with marco but just didn't have the balls to say anything or admit it to himself but everyone lowk knew it...) (also found armin very very attractive even after learning he was a boy and not a girl LMAO. we love jearmin in this household)
⟢ LOVES music. over like 200k minutes on his spotify wrapped. his fav artists/bands would definitely be cigarettes after sex, the arctic monkeys, jeff buckley, radio head, the smiths, the cranberries, frank ocean but also tyler the creator, a$ap rocky, drake, kendrick, carti, kanye, central cee, and unironically he enjoys taylor swift (only her older songs and some songs from ttpd, hates the new taylor). again seems performative but it mostly isn't- he's just naturally like this. he likes everything.
⟢ with that said he had a shit ton of playlists and will make his friends playlists for their birthdays or just randomly and would probably burn them onto cds. but he might chicken out and not give them it cause he feels like it's lame.
⟢ has multiple pairs of headphones on him at all time. wired. airpods. over-ear. his fav is however wired, but he usually has an airpod in one ear at all time playing music.
⟢ unironically team jacob, team stefan, team second lead male love interest (cause he relates asf)
⟢ would be VERY into pop culture and celeb gossip but tries to be lowk abt it. he knows the ENTIRE phoebe bridgers paul mescal daisy edgar jones thing and is invested to the point where he follows a gossip page
⟢ he'd have a public ig account where he follows everyone from school and uni and stuff but he'd also have a close freinds/spam acc with like 12 followers where he just shit posts and posts vlogs and videos of his friends and pics of himself.
⟢ he would have a tiktok and he'd probably post fit checks and hockey stuff probably. stuff like this LMFAO and also this
⟢ would be very close friends with everyone but especially sasha and connie who are like his younger siblings, marco who is his rock, and eren who he will never admit to liking but he genuinely cares very very much for him. would also notably confide in armin when he needs a proper no bullshit answers and advice. him and ymir would get along well enough (drinking + smoking buddies), but ymir thinks he's a pretentious rich douchebag LMAOOO and also he probably has tried hitting on historia at some point so that doesn't help.
⟢ black coffee. no milk, no creamer, no sugar. straight black coffee. he likes hot black coffee in the winter or when it's cold he'll sometimes put a little butter in it cause his throat gets sore easily. in summer he loves iced americanos and connie and sasha make so much fun of him for it cause plain black coffee is so yuck
⟢ knows how to cook. helped his mama in the kitchen growing up (only child core) and will often cook for sasha to show he cares for her <3
⟢ athletic. i've seen a lot of people say he'd play football and i can sorta see it but lowk I feel like he'd be just so so so much better at ice hockey. i feel like he'd be known for being very graceful for a hockey player. he just gives off canadian (specifically french-canadian) hockey bro vibes but he's the least douchebaggiest on the team of exclusively douchebags
⟢ chews a lot of gum as well since he always needs to make sure his breath smells good
⟢ he would love cats. would specifically have a black cat with like green eyes
⟢ very very nice neat handwriting. knows how to write in cursive.
⟢ studious asf. very competitive about his grades. when he was younger he used to flaunt the fact that he was so smart because he studied hard, but as he got older he was more quiet about it.
⟢ he would probably study psych (abtr reference...) or business (i feel like his dad would be a business owner/own a law firm perchance). however, he doesn't really even enjoy what he's studying. he tried to convince himself that he did but it was lowk just because the degree would provide him a secure future... he craves stability... but...
⟢ his true passion it art. he loves to paint, draw, sketch all of it but he never pursued it because 1) his dad discouraged him and told him it wasn't a safe career and he'd never make it in the industry 2) he genuinely thinks he's not any good- not trying to humble brag or fishing for compliments or reassurance; he GENUINELY does not think he's good. he's very secretive about his art, not a lot of people know he even does it and he gets very defensive about it and will even get mad if you try and bring it up in front of others, especially his parents.
⟢ also with that said, he doesn't have the best relationship with his dad. i feel like his dad was always just busy with work and was never around much (which is why jean is so close to his mom) but his dad also expected a lot from him and jean genuinely looked up to his dad growing up and wanted to always impress him so he'd study really hard and try to get the best grades and he was always pushy with people cause he wanted to act better than everyone else but it was lowk just because he wanted his dads attention...
⟢ more on his family; he's not like super rich considering he lives in trost, but his family is def comfortable compared to a lot of his friends families.
⟢ a pretty big car guy. him and eren probably worked at a mechanic shop in highschool/uni (jean more for fun since he didn't really need a job). him and eren would talk about cars a lot. ymir and him too probably since i imagine ymir as a mechanic hehe
⟢ want's a big family. because he was an only child + he grew up around sasha and connie's families that were big and they had a lot of siblings and he was always lowk jealous cause sasha and connie weren't his real siblings and they had actual siblings </3
⟢ would be the best dad ever. so supporting and loving and spoils them rotten. would be a fantastic girl dad specifically. he wants a daughter more than anything in the world.
⟢ took piano and horseback riding lessons as a kid.
⟢ FATASSSSSSS. eats so so much. especially omelets. he loves omelets. but his nicotine addiction in the recent years has killed his hunger </3
⟢ loves loves loves ice cream. his fav dessert. a nice big scoop of expensive ass vanilla bean ice cream after a long day MMHMMM.
⟢ cigarettes > vapes. he hates people who vape and thinks they are posers asf and pussy cause just smoke the damn cigarettes vapes are terrible for u.... (cigs are also just as bad but hey)
⟢ thankfully u can like 90% of the time not smell the cigarette smoke on him. he's very clean and careful abt it.
⟢ drinks. he likes beer but he prefers whiskey or bourbon.
⟢ likes flowers a lot.
appearance.
⟢ this specifically his how i feel like he'd look. also this. and this.
⟢ i specifically always imagine him to look like a mix of jeff buckley and a little bit of chase crawford (specifically him in gossip girl as nate archibald LOL)
⟢ TALL. SO SO SO TALL. (taller than eren ofc and ALWAYS makes sure to point it out.)
⟢ not pale but also not as tan as eren. he's very sunkissed??
⟢ would have lots of moles/birthmarks on his body
⟢ body is muscular but on the leaner side. in between how lean eren is and how buff reiner is because he plays hockey.
⟢ lanky asf. legs for days and long arms
⟢ big veiny hands, but they are more like delicate looking (??) and his fingers are slender. he has pretty hands. i like hands.
⟢ you would think that he has callouses but his hands are SO fucking soft and they smell really nice
⟢ fun fact: french men tend to be pretty hairless.. jean doesn't get a lot of hair on his arms/legs/chest, however he has a happy trail 🤤
⟢ with that in mind, he also lowk struggles to grow out his facial hair like eren but he actually keeps it and doesn't just shave it off- he's probably on menoxidil and has an extensive beard care routine for that fuckahhh goatee. (connie and sasha have both pointed out how it looks like pubes on multiple occasions)
⟢ smells REALLY good. citrus, vanilla, warm musk, sandalwood- he would just smell so so so amazing. i wanna lick him.
⟢ takes A LOT of pride in the way he looks. if he sees a mirror he is unfortunately the type of guy who will stop and stare at himself and will fix his hair
⟢ long thick eyelashes that are naturally curled that im totally jealous of
⟢ showers twice a day. this bitch is CLEANNNN
⟢ his hair would be that ashy blonde color a lot of french people have but in the sun it sometimes comes off as a strawberry blonde <3
⟢ mullet. yes. ofc. over grown in the back, occasionally gets it cleaned up. reference image for when it's grown out 🤤 vs fresh cut
⟢ the prettiest honey brown eyes. like this super nice light golden color and if ur up close there's flecks of green so they are technically hazel
⟢ BIG ASS NOSE. LONG. POINTY. HAS THAT BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BUMP ON THE RIDGE... MMMMMMMMMMM (exactly like this.) so so so so so so sexy
⟢ is just so so so pretty and perfect looking and attractive oh my lordddddddd
⟢ dresses very very nicely. a lot more put together than connie and eren who tend to dress for street ware. lots of button up casual dress shirts (sleeves rolled up to the elbows so u can see his veins YAS GOD!!!!), crewnecks, quarter zips. when he does wear tee's they are more fitted. will wear grey sweats and zip ups during exam season. lots of neutral colors, greys, browns, but he wears darker shades of green, reds (maroon would prob be his fav color icl), navy. no yellow. never any yellow. he dislikes yellow clothing.
⟢ i don't think he'd get any tattoos tbh. if he ever did get one it would be very very very meticulously planned out. he likes the idea of tattoos and how they look, he just isn't sure abt them on himself.
⟢ not a huge jewelry person. has a couple of rings and chains. i see him as a gold person tbh... would have a gold chain. maybe a dog-tag?
⟢ not really appearance but lowk his aura is just so sexy. like he just screams sexy. like just looking at him or being near him MMMMM turns literally every girl ever on (me. im every girl)
⟢ sasha and historia have painted his nails in the past and he's open to doing it again. yes. bisexual confident in himself icon rmr?
⟢ doesn't really blush but when it's cold his nose gets red. when he's embarrassed his ears are bright red.
personality
⟢ can come of as THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE EVER. idgaf what anyone says this man is just so sassy and stupid he just seems straight up mean at times...
⟢ specifically he is a loud, judgemental, sharp-tongued asshole who says what everyone else is thinking- often without thinking twice about it himself. he doesn't care if what he says will hurt someones feelings in the moment- especially if he doesn't know this person, dislikes the person, or specifically if he finds the person attractive he will be an even bigger jerk cause he's so stupid and doesn't know how to express himself LMFAO
⟢ he's very very very blunt. rarely ever sugar coats things and gets straight to the point.
⟢ a flirt. so so so flirty. flirts with everyone. and he's SO damn good at it. he's naturally very charming to the point where it's annoying. often the flirting is a defense mechanism, an ego boost, and sometimes he just genuinely enjoys the banter. not a sleazy flirt for sure.
⟢ very pessimistic. he's a realist for sure. likely his worst trait. always thinks of the worse case scenario and assumes that things won't go the way he wants them too. it's not that he's hopeless- he's just practical.
⟢ teases people a lot hehe. he just loves to poke and provoke people (him and ymir often gang up on eren, connie, and reiner) for literally no fucking reason other than to get reactions LMFAOO
⟢ similar to eren, he's VERY hot headed. gets angry very quick HOWEVER unlike eren he's verbal first. he explodes emotionally, raises his voice, snaps, but he's not usually the type to get physically violent unless something REALLLLLLLY pisses him off.
⟢ i feel like he doesn't like arguing. he's actually not a very confrontational person, he's just hotheaded. he literally gets into arguments by accident. he finds it difficult to talk about his feelings and put into words what he's thinking about- it's hard for him to articulate his feelings. he also often realizes what he meant to say later on when replaying and overanalyzing the argument LOL
⟢ swears. so fuckin much. "jesus fuck". "fuck you you dumb fucking fuck". "oh for fucks sake." however he's also very mindful and respectful and will almost never swear in front of his parents or people older than him
⟢ swears in french when he's super pissed off.
⟢ when he's comfortable/drunk he's very very loud and outspoken and always has something to say, but very often he gets quiet all of a sudden and zones out. i feel like he gets emotionally overwhelmed easily and just checks out. he's so emo.
⟢ playful asf. jokes to cope!!
⟢ gets easily embarrassed and will hardly show emotions cause he wants to be mysterious so fucking bad. he wants to act nonchalant asf and be like black cat energy naturally like eren, mikasa and levi, but he's just a big golden retriever. he radiates good boy/dog energy so bad
⟢ a diva with an attitude problem.
⟢ overthinks everything for NO REASON BRO. he's always thinking and thinking and thinking- i lowk do think this man would be depressed for literally no reason because he just ruminates so much. canonically jean has a lot of guilt, survivors remorse, pressure, self-doubt, and fears of inadequacy and i feel like all these things can translate into a modern au even if marco (the fire that started jean's character growth) isn't dead, i feel like he'd still be like this...
⟢ very prideful and likes to flex how good he is at things. will loudly boast how good he is at things. can come off as pretentious and self absorbed because of it and lowk... he sorta is... so fucking self obsessed but if i was jean kirstein i totally would be too. HOWEVER that was how he was younger to like 11th maybe 12th grade. in university he's definitely toned it down a lot more and has learned when it's appropriate to do it and has limits. but when he's with like eren or reiner? you best believe he's prideful and so full oh himself.
⟢ easily flustered. this man tries so hard not to get flustered but fails miserably.
⟢ so incredibly caring and thoughtful. he notices a lot of things and has mental lists of the things the people he cares about likes/dislikes. in fact, i feel like he'd have a folder in his notes app for it.
⟢ a natural leader. he would be captain of his hockey team. despite the fact that he's so pessimistic- somehow, it just works. probably because he actually cares deeply for every guy on the team and knows them inside and out and is somehow able to put his pride aside and say meaningful things. (that scene in the rumbling arc where he tells reiner that their scouts </3)
⟢ yearner. yearner. yearner. he yearns like no other. like hello he was into mikasa FOR YEARS despite her never once showing ANY interest in him even after eren was out of the picture. and marco? jean YEARNS for him. everything jean does is in the memory of his dearest friend and soulmate.
⟢ however jean fixates and idealizes. he sees the very best in people to a fault unfortunately.
⟢ i seriously don't think jean would be an f-boy. yes he flirts a lot but it doesn't mean he sleeps around. when it comes to actual real emotional and physical intimacy, he's cautious as fuck. he's not the type to sleep around with random people to pass time or treat sex like it's meaningless. oh, and he's terrible at casual relationships. casual sex, friends with benefits, situationships? the bane of his existence he HATES it.
as your boyfriend <3
⟢ falls in love slowly but its irreversible. he doesn't even realize it's happening at first. he starts to notice small things abt you without even trying, wants to spend more time with you, wants to reach out and touch ur hands, your arms, your waist and he just can't understand why. he'll blame it on the fact that he's just physically attracted to you, but obviously it's SO much more than that. and by the time he eventually clocks it, he's already fucked. when jean loves someone- it's permanent. you will always own his heart even if you break it a million times over and over again.
⟢ LOVES drawing you. has sketchbooks FILLED with drawings of you.
⟢ makes playlists for you. multiple playlists. a new one for every date. for your birthdays. when you have an important test coming up. anything and everything he just loves showing you he cares in this way.
⟢ doesn't seem outwardly clingy but he's always around you. like he's ALWAYS right there. sitting beside you. standing just a little too close. leaning in when you talk. his eyes follow you wherever you go.
⟢ however pda is his kink of all kinks. he adores pda but like very subtle pda. not enough to make people uncomfortable and ick them out and shout at you guys to get a room, but just enough to let everyone in the room know your his. he'll pull you by the waist onto his lap when the gang is sitting together, and wraps his arms around you and buries his head into your shoulder. kisses you so much- not full on makeouts (though he loves to do that in front of everyone too), but forehead kisses, kissing the top of your head, kissing your hands. all of it. he adores when you kiss him first too.
⟢ touch starved. like he literally is like a starving man. hands are constantly on you tbh. if you guys are sitting at side by side at dinner, his hand is on your knee. if you guys are just sitting he grabs your hand and rubs his thumb over your wrists pulse point. when you initiate touch he melts instantly.
⟢ yearnerrrrrr yearn yearn yearn. he'll flirt, joke, try and act nonchalant but trust at night he's replaying ur conversations in his head over and over and over again, overthinking everything he said, remembering all the microscopic little things that you did and wondering why you did those things.
⟢ overthinks the fuck outta your relationship. (before getting together and when you're together as well) jean will convince himself you don't feel the same. and then he yearns even harder. it literally causes him physical pain because he wants you so fucking bad.
⟢ "NOW I WANT SOMEONE BADLY!!" this song is his fucking anthem when he's in love with you so bad.
⟢ a major big fat slut for eye contact. eye contact turns him on so bad oh my god. if you're talking to him and holding eye contact the entire time or if he's telling you something and you guys are holding eye contact trust me that man is rock hard.
⟢ gets flustered in a VERY humiliating way that bruises his ego, especially if you tease him like "hmm jean, don't tell me you like me or something?" his ears go bright red. jaw tightens. he's suddenly very aware of his body and the way he looks and his hands especially- he'll cross his arms over his chest, make fists, shove his hands into his pockets. and he avoids eye contact but keeps glancing back at you while getting increasingly more flustered all the while trying to play it cool (fails miserably) and says things like "fuck off"
⟢ MR DARCY HAND FLEX. MR DARCY HAND FLEX. MR DARCY HAND FLEXXXXXX
⟢ so affectionate in private. so so so touchy it can almost be overstimulating. always grabbing onto your waist, hips, ass. wraps his arms around you, pulls you onto his lap, makes your lay down on top of him, loves putting his head on your chest or lap. he NEEDS to be close to you.
⟢ loves when you touch him absentmindedly. your hand touching his arm while you talk. tracing shapes on his chest. running your hands through his hair. it makes him relax and feel so at ease. sometimes he'll close his eyes without realizing and you lowk freak out and think you put him to sleep with how boring the conversation was.
⟢ loves the sound of your voice and your laugh. loves when you imitate the way he talks like you try to make your voice deeper and shit. LOVESSSS how you talk to pets, specifically his cat who he refers to as your daughter the minute your guys are official.
⟢ with that in mind he literally talks to his cat in a baby voice and would say shit like "ur mama's comin' over tonight so you gotta be good, alright?" hes such a fucking dork omg
⟢ will kiss you a couple of times and then take you out on a date and then when he's absolutely certain your feel even a fraction of what he feels for you, he begs you to let him be YOUR boyfriend. more than you being his, he NEEDS to be yours. your one and only. so he would specifically ask "please let me be your boyfriend" not "please be my girlfriend." PATHETICCCCC
⟢ calls you by your name cause he loves your name so much. but he does also love calling you baby, lover, my love, pretty girl, MY pretty girl, beautiful, my lover, angel, all sorts of names. he also loves calling you pet-names in french!! mon cheri (my dear), ma bell (my beautiful one), ma biche/ma bichette (my doe, ob reference perchance?) and also mon petit chou = my little cabbage. that one probably weirded you out at first but it's actually really cute.
⟢ everyone knows how he feels about you. it's painfully obvious. he's ALWAYS staring right at you. when he talks to you his voice get's softer. he's always checking in on you, asking if you're okay- something he never really does with anyone else.
⟢ he's also always smiling around you but not that cocky smirk he has with everyone else, not it's like a pathetic down bad boyish grin.
⟢ remembers EVERYTHING about you somehow. things you don't even remember about yourself.
⟢ JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS SOOOOOO JEALOUS. and hes SO fucking petty about it to holy fucking shit. imagine you guys are at a party and some guy is hitting on you, you don't really realize it- or maybe u do- well the minute jean sees it he will infact walk over and wordlessly pull you into his arms by grabbing your waist/hips or he straight up grabs your face and kiss you while looking RIGHT at the guy. and he'd smile afterwards and be like oh hey, who exactly are you? bonus points if he knows the guy and pretends like he doesn't remember him LMFAO.
⟢ very possessive as well. you're his. you BELONG to him and he belongs to you. no one else.
⟢ protective as fuck normally ofc but especially when it comes to you. if something happened like you getting into an argument with someone. he will push and push and push until you finally tell him what happened and he won't give up no matter how much you tell him to fuck off. it's so annoying but ugh he just loves you so much he wants to fix everything and take care of you so bad.
(case in point, aot chapter 116)
⟢ the reason why you even avoid telling him what happened 90% of the time is cause you alr know he's somehow gonna get involved in the mess and make it even worse cause hes so fuckin stupid omg
⟢ hates arguing so so much. but with you, he actually tries. he doesn’t shut down or dodge the issue the way he usually does with his friends. when you’re fighting, he wants to get to the root of it instead of pretending everything’s fine, because he cares about you more than anyone else. he actually tries to explain how he feels, even when he doesn’t have the right words and he gets really frustrated because of it. In the heat of the moment, he might snap—say something harsh without thinking—but the regret is instant. He backtracks immediately, voice breaking, apologizing over and over, practically begging for your forgiveness because the idea of hurting you or losing you terrifies him.
⟢ with that said—if you’re genuinely pissed at him, he's a complete pathetic mess. all that pride and ego is GONE. he’ll literally drop to his knees in front of you, hands settling at your hips, forehead resting against your stomach and then he'll looks up at you with tears glassing those stupidly pretty honey-brown eyes—begging. It’s embarrassing. It’s pathetic. he doesn't care though. all he cares about is how bad he needs your forgiveness. he can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t even breathe right knowing you’re angry with him. Every second stretches until it hurts. (Think Art Donaldson in Challengers—that bedroom scene.)
⟢ has so so so much respect for you. only ever has amazing things to say about you. he quite literally worships you. he sees you as the only source of light in his pathetic, miserable life and you are perfect, you can do no wrong literally 99% of the time
⟢ he would never break up with you first tbh and if you did break up he would be in denial until you finally tell him to leave you the fuck alone and then he would try SOOOO hard to hate you but he literally is incapable of it and it makes him so angry so then he lowk just starts hating himself LMFAOO
⟢ wants a life with you the moment he realizes he's in love. and yes, even though he wants kids and a big happy family and all that shit, if you don't want kids that's fine too. he'll do whatever you want as long as you stay by his side.
⟢ domestic intimacy is lowk his fav!!!! he LOVES cooking with you, grocery shopping, studying side by side, sitting in comfortable silence.
⟢ he loves when you wear his clothes around the house or outside.
⟢ when he first realized he liked you he'd literally get hard just thinking about you. your voice. your laugh. your scent. your smile. your eyes. YOU. you are his biggest turn on ever. nothing has ever gotten him as hard as you do.
⟢ at night trust he just repeatedly gets hard replaying your interactions with him that day he's so pathetic holy shit
⟢ but just cause he's pathetic DOES NOT mean he's pathetic in bed. that man is big. i'm talking stallion sized easily 7, 8 maybe even 9 inches big when he's rock solid. like ik that's unrealistic but this is jean kirstein were talking about.
⟢ so big that the first time you felt it you got all nervous and he said something like "i know you can take it my pretty girl."
⟢ rough. possesive asf. hands on your neck, boarderline choking you out (consensually ofc), leaving marks everywhere, using you until your literally shaking, unable to even speak. he has the most stamina out of like any of the aot men and i will die on this hill.
⟢ praise praise praise. he loves to praise you so so so much. literally worships you, whispering sweet nothing constantly.
⟢ his lips would be on yours like every 5 seconds. he loves loves loves kissing you.
⟢ he wants to be able to see your face. hes a missionary and cowgirl fanatic.
⟢ he's so so so needy. literally always in the mood. there has never been a time where you wanna do something and he's NOT in the mood.
⟢ he loves getting you on your knees, burying his hands in your hair and face fucking you until your a mess, your eyes a red and so so so watery, your gagging- he lovessss hearing you gag on him. he has one hand cupped on your face, brushing away tears tellin you you're doing such a good job for him and that you're makin him feel so so so good. AHHH
⟢ when it's his turn to make you feel good, he will literally hold you down and keep going while you beg him to stop saying it's too much. his hands are big like i mentioned and he has long pretty fingers that always hit the right spot perfectly and he is a tongue god holy fucking shit.
⟢ he will tease tf outta you. constantly ruining your orgasm, not letting you cum, leaving you a completely mess to the point where you can't even beg anymore and then he'll smile and be like "what do you want me to do baby?" he loves having that bit of control over you.
⟢ will rip your clothes off and have you stand while he sits at the bed and just stares and stares and stares OR the other way around, you on the bed squirming BEGGING for him to touch you and him just watching you in utter awe
⟢ kissing your thighs and arms and stomach and just any parts of you you may be insecure about and whispering sweet nothing about how fuckin perfect you are.
⟢ loves to fuck you in unconventional places. the bedroom is fine but the thrill of fucking you in a tight dark space, in the car, in the kitchen, the bathroom, THE SHOWERRRRRR. if ur in the shower he begs PLEASE LET ME INNNNN
⟢ your legs resting on his shoulders.
⟢ big nose..... hehe..... sitting on his face- WOAHHHHHH WHO SAID THAT
okay enough im going crazy i love jean kirstein so fuckign much. i think i know/imagine things about him more than people ik irl...
chapter 1 of the aot band au! also on ao3 if you want to read it there! I include song links here on tumblr but not on ao3. I think it's more immersive w this format... but that's just me!
chapter tws include floch being an asshole, implied/speculated toxic relationship, provocative music, suggestive/adult themes, one line about connie's junk
Chapter 1: Cruel Summer
The music in his car is always so loud. Typically you don’t mind but you’re already feeling a tension headache developing between your temples. As if stretching a rubber band in your brain isn’t painful enough, Floch decides to snap it against your head as he yells, “Babe, get out! We’re here.” At least the Britney Spears song, I’m a Slave 4 U, stops playing. Not that you don’t like Britney. You just don’t like Britney when she’s blasting at full volume in your boyfriend kia stinger.
As you step away from the red car, paint chips peeling off the car door, you have to race to catch up with Floch. His music is playing so loudly you can hear it even though his earbuds are snug in his ear. Now he’s listening to Ride by Sir Mix-A-Lot. Of course he is. He’s bobbing his head offbeat as you reach out to grab his sleeve. You don’t know why you’re so scared to get his attention. You’ve been dating for five months now and it’s felt pretty great until recently.
“Hey, slow down. I don’t know where we’re heading.” You manage to tell him, gently snagging his baggy sweatshirt sleeve and also successfully pissing him off based on the scowl he wears.
“What the hell? Why are you so damn slow? Just walk, babe.” Floch responds before yanking his arm away. He then walks faster as if to spite you. As if he wants to lose sight of you. You shake that thought from your head, physically due to the persistent panic now running through you, as you run to catch up with him. Glancing back with a simper, Floch grins further when he sees you run after him. Is he doing this to make himself feel better? Surely not…
Those anxiety riddled worries dissipate as you enter a retail store inside the mall. Thankfully, the lights are dim. Not all too luminous, more closely resembling a club with twinkling stars hanging from the ceiling adding enough light to see but not grow ill from the fluorescent lights like they have in universities and offices. It’s a creative lighting fixture and honestly you can get behind it. While you appreciate the gentle luminosity of the store you’re pulling by Floch, his hand wrapping around your wrist possessively. As we fully enter the establishment, music filling my ears and it not being Floch’s, I realize it doesn’t match the quaint, elegant atmosphere established.
Hi, I’m a Slut is playing on the intercoms. Grandmas looking at shawls with their husbands furrow their brows with disgust, mothers cover the ears of their young adult children as if they haven’t heard that word before while their husbands crack up at the licentious lyrics. Amidst the disappointment and disgust, one boy with tanned skin and an overgrown buzz cut is grinning. He’s even chuckling; his hand covering his mouth as he elbows a brunette besides him. The retail employee laughs so hard he leans forward against the counter, the girl beside him with her dark brown ponytail swaying back and forth as she wobbles with her guffaws too, and cackles like a hyena at the harmless prank he’s pulled. The girl besides him smacks his back, prompting him to begin coughing and sputtering and laughing in between his asphyxiation.
It seems like it’d be fun to work here. Of course Floch disagrees, somehow knowing exactly what you’re thinking to ruin your minute joy. “Fucking morons. Let’s go buy something hot and sexy for you to wear to this concert, babe.” His hand tightens around your wrist as he pulls you to the section with more provocative - not exactly lingerie - garments. Dresses with large slits at the hips, shirts with keyholes to expose cleavage, skirts so short it’s amazing they aren’t accused of being belts. Not exactly what you typically… not what you’ve ever worn. “Damn babe, this would look so good on you.”
Floch groans as he says the words, making you bite back bile, while holding up a hanger. Draped on the hanger is a sweater with a massive keyhole in the front to expose your chest down the length of your sternum. What the fuck?
“I don’t know about that.” You tell him with a small chuckle as if it’ll lessen whatever response he’ll have to you indirectly saying no. He hasn’t always been this way… at least, you don’t think he’s been this way your whole relationship.
“Well, I know.” Floch interjects, grinning. His expression is so coy and sly. So often he is smug and presenting himself with delusional confidence. “So let’s try it on, baby.” Before you can protest, or maybe even change your mind and agree to please this asshole, you’re led to the changing rooms. Suddenly it feels like all eyes are on you when Floch snides, “can’t wait to see some skin,” before pushing you inside the confines of the stall.
Twisting the knob to leave and talk to him like a civil person, you discover you can’t open the door. From the outside Floch is tapping his foot, one hand texting on his phone with a grin, while his other hand is holding the doorknob on the other side so you can’t open it. Superman by Eminem is now playing after the prolonged silence (besides those two people at the register dying of laughter) following the more provocative track that greeted you and your boyfriend.
It’s ironic, you guess.
Taking a look at the sweater, you can’t help but sigh. The fabric is heavy and hot and haughty. Pretentious but poorly made. Strands jut out from the stitch and it’s clear some poor, underpaid individual likely made this and then this store added a crazy markup. With a cheek of the tag you confirm your intuition when you see it’s marked for $179. As the sale price. Hell no.
“Floch, baby, c’mon let me out,” Chuckling awkwardly, you jostle the knob to indicate you’re serious. “This thing is itchy and expensive. Let’s get something better. It’s also crazy hot right now, so I don’t want to wear a sweater.” You explain, hoping that he’ll be compassionate and understand that.
Silence.
It’s jarring whenever he’s silent. Not just lately but actually… the entire time you’ve dated him. He likes to talk. He loves to blabber and ramble and narrate. Whenever he’s radio silent on you it means you’ve pissed him off. It means you’re in the wrong… maybe it doesn’t. He’s locked you in a dressing room and now you want to apologize? He should say sorry this is psycho behavior!
“Baby?” Repeating it once more, the pet name coming from your lips like first nature despite your frustration growing with him.
Silence.
“Floch!” You can’t help but shout. It’s fucking stressful to be in a tiny stall that smells like feet holding an itchy sweater that costs way too much for its quality level. “This isn’t funny!” Despite your best efforts your voice grows shaky and it causes your volume to rise.
You recognize the song playing. Or perhaps you’re just tuned back in on the stereo outside the door. Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift.
Thump!
He fucking kicked the door of the dressing room. Instinctively you back away and your back hits the wall behind you. The music in the background is just white noise, insignificant and mildly irritating as you freak the fuck out, as you stare in shock at the door as if your hurt expression transfers through the wood.
She’s damn right. Here you are, your last month of summer break from college, being fucking trapped in a dressing room by the man you introduce as your lover. Perhaps that’ll be the next song playing while this nightmare persists.
“Let me out, Floch! You’re acting crazy!” At your words Floch bangs the door once more, making the frame jump with you and the wood splinter. “What’s making you do this?” You ask shakily as your anxieties, your fears, are heightened by the fact you can’t see him.
“Make me, little bitch.” Floch's voice rings out and you can hear his smug expression.
Before Floch can respond like a kind, polite, and lovely boyfriend would - or how a cruel, unkind, and crude boyfriend would - there’s another voice outside the door. The voice isn’t very deep but it isn’t high either. Perhaps it’s a tenor? The inflection of the speaker implies he has an accent from not around here. His voice sounds confrontational. Or maybe Floch’s bitterness is corrupting this stranger.
“What the fuck are you doing?” The new voice asks presumably Floch, his voice deepening when he swears. “We have a rule against fucking locking people in closets. Formed right now cause no one has done this weird shit before.” Continuing, the voice then comes closer. You’re beginning to place it. The bravado matches those jovial but obnoxiously loud laughs heard from the retail worker with the fuzzy buzz cut. “Step away from the door.” He warns, pitching his voice lower as if to sound scarier.
It’s also odd he locked you in a fucking dressing room. So you’re allowed to push your fists in the air in victory, like you’re the one who punched him, when you hear his loud footsteps while stumbling.
Until you hear his nose fucking break.
It sounds like a can of soda being popped open; maybe a firecracker blowing or those little pop-its that can burn you or - holy hell he punched Floch! You’re giddy. Giddy in the way you’d cheer when your favorite sports team wins against all odds. Odd how you’re celebrating an injury to the man you love.
The door is easily opened from a small twist of the wrist while holding the doorknob. Kitty Kat by Megan Thee Stallion is beginning to play after a lot of radio classics.
Know what’s also beautiful? Stepping over him. As you do so, Floch grabs your ankle. He mumbles something unkind that you can’t fully hear but you ignore him. Nothing beginning with ‘you treacherous-’ will be worth hearing from him.
Perhaps it’s fitting? The energy certainly is as you step out. Once you’re free, holding that ugly, inadequate sweater, you’re greeted with the retail worker standing over Floch while blood gushes down his face like a waterfall.
It’s a beautiful sight.
Now standing beside the retail worker, his friend watching from the register with an enthused grin, you can see the name on his tag. ‘Connie S.’
Connie? There’s a Connie in the band you love. He typically wears a hood so you’ve never seen his haircut - not even online. With angular black eyeliner and ash smeared across his scrawny but sculpted chest as he plays the drums with his entire being. He’s feral; fucking insane. The way he breaks his drumsticks every performance and they sell online for more money than splintered wood could ever be worth. His energy is absolutely contagious but you wouldn’t mind catching it. At least a little.
When he pulls back his outer layer you can confirm it’s Connie Springer. The Connie Springer who tears up stages across the United States, eliciting enthusiasm across all metalheads, embodying earnest appreciation for the poetic, powerful expression it is to bangs wood against… wood. You digress. His tattoo is a complete sleeve on his right arm, the hand he always wears a glove on when he’s playing at a concert from the clips you’ve seen. Full of black ink with pops of indigo and scarlet, the shades popping brilliantly against his sienna skin, his tattoo is the embodiment of his characteristic chaotic energy he carries with him during every performance. From afar it does look like random shapes and cool patterns paired together, but you’re sure there’s more to it. Tattoos are so permanent! He must of thought hard and long and deeply-
“You’re staring, hon.” Connie says with a boyish grin. It’s sweet and genuine unlike Floch’s. “You okay? The guy you’re with seems to have issues.” You nod as he speaks, dazed a little at the thought of him being Connie; the drummer for Paradis. “Did you need help finding something… or?” Sheepishly - yet slyly still - smirking, Connie sweetness and playfully and you see now, flirtatiousness, is not lost on you. “Did you need someone?” He teases, removing his uniform dress shirt that he had on outside of a tank top.
Holy shit.
“Oh you’re studying his tat.” The brunette at the cashier says from behind you resulting in a small flinch. “Didn’t mean to scare you!” She apologies with a genial chuckle. So genuine. “He only got that because his bandmates did and he wanted to prove Jean was weak for crying when he got his back tatted.”
Jean? Like Jean Kirstein from Paradis? Holy heck.
Giggling again, you realize how beautiful Sasha’s laugh is. It’s saccharine and mellifluous; it’s honey to a sore throat. “Oh, I’m Sasha by the way.” She finally says with an honest smile and a friendly pat to your shoulder.
Like a deer in headlights you stare at their interaction. Sasha, the one with a bit more sense - or perhaps just intuition - of the two, chiding Connie for being ditzy in only the way your closest friends can. She’s stylish. The effortless type of stylish. She’s in a large baggy maroon t-shirt with a camo print hoodie underneath with the black hoodie peaking up. Her brown hair is tied back with a black ribbon, a necklace loose around her neck on a thick leather strap but the gem is hidden under her shirt, and green cargo shorts that end at the knees. If anyone else was wearing something like that they’d look crazy. Sasha… makes it work. Her sunglasses have little sparkly stars on the rim; they’re rhinestones that catch the light beautifully. She’s serving cunt in camo… how does she do it? Crew socks with little pigs on them and black, hunter-green, and white sneakers complete her oddly pleasing attire.
“I’m Connie!” The boy exclaims proudly as if he didn’t hear a word.
Sasha chuckles. “Dude, where were you?” Her words prompt Connie to shrug, playful and at ease. It’s so metal he just punched a man unconscious and now he’s here jiving. Chatting as if this was any old day for him.
“The merch from our first ep,” Connie repeats once more as he realizes the weight of that. The merch they sold because they were given a discount from a buddy and dive bars were desperate for some live entertainment and haggled for 40% of their merch profits. Back when Mikasa was banging holes in the drums themselves with her own sort of stoic intensity instead of Connie splitting the branches he thumped against the percussion with his kinetic passion. You’ve been a fan since Paradis performed their first ever setlist composed of Dio covers, makeshift comedy routines from Connie when the dingy sound of the equally dank bars would give them trouble, and Jean competing with Eren because back they were fixated on only one of them writing the lyrics. The significance of the shirt you’re wearing makes him dramatically clutch his heart through his tank.
Connie on the other hand is a hot mess. Literally and figuratively. His hand runs over his buzz cut, sighing when he can’t yet run his hands through his hair seductively like everyone else in the band. No thirst edits of him including that clip… yet. His armpits aren’t shaved and whenever he lifts his toned arms you can see tufts of ashy brown hair. He has more body hair than hair on his head, maybe, if you combine his hairy legs too. Connie’s in sweatpants you realize, not exactly what you’d expect from a rock star or a retail worker on shift, and you can’t help but notice that imprint. Your eyes are torn from it, thankfully because your cheeks started to develop a cherry tint, due to Connie flexing his arm muscles when he snaps as a thought comes to him. The sound snagged your attention too… you guess.
“Your shirt man, it’s our first album!” Connie finally realizes, staring straight at your chest. You give him a pass since that’s where the bulk of the design is.
“Don’t make it weird.” Sasha jokes, elbowing Connie as he remains in his theatrics.
“No! This means everything!” The boy argues with a bashful grin on his face. He really does seem flattered. It’s cute… it’s making your lips curl into a delicate smile.
“I just… really liked the design.” You begin, fiddling with the hem of the black shirt. A lion stretches proudly, extending itself as it arches its back, in a field of gladiolus flowers awaking from a nap. They only printed these t-shirts in black. There’s a line from their song from that ep, Waking Lions, that’s written below the lion and in the gorgeous bed of sun kissed, passionately purple flowers. The line, in a gradient white and purple that’s beginning to fade off, says: I wanna stand up, a hundred feet tall ‘cause fear will never lead the way. I’m waking the lions in me.
Those two see right through you. Especially Sasha. She urges me to continue, to even ramble, with a shift in those chocolate irises. “Okay… I also really loved the songs. Especially Waking Lions! I’m so glad that’s the song you decided to model the ep’s art off of and also that you made merch!” You find yourself ramble, rattling on about what you really thought of the lyrics. How the art is so cute compared to what a metal-core band would be expected to produce. The way their first album, even if only housing three songs, was revolutionary in your eyes.
“Yeah, Jean wrote Waking Lions and he’s the one with the art degree. So Eren lost the battle on having When the Lights Come On be the star of our first ever original recording.” Connie rubs his hand over his fuzzy head, his pointy canines revealed as he smiles. “He won the war and got to be the lead vocalist though!” He adds with a chuckle like he recalled a memory. Probably how the two bickered endlessly about who that title goes to.
“Connie’s playing tonight at the Garrison if you want to come. Bet they didn’t sell out!” Sasha teases with an upbeat tone in contrast to Connie’s pretend pout. They’re a fun duo. Seeming to have energy that feeds off each other in a positive feedback loop. “You seem like a huge fan too. So,” Sasha stands besides Connie and the two glance between each other like they’re plotting, scheming. “Would you want to go with us? I’ve been looking for a new concert buddy, since Connie can’t head bang with me when he’s on stage!”
Laughing at Sasha’s comment, you nod your head almost immediately. You were going to attend with Floch, since giving you two tickets for the balcony - which is the worst spot since you’re into moshing and they’re typically more expensive - was his attempt of being nice, but he’s entirely shown his true colors. Or perhaps you finally removed your rose tinted glasses and took those pivotal steps out of your ivory tower.
“I’d love to go with you guys. My date is knocked the hell out, thanks Connie,” Sasha snorts a laugh and Connie throws up a peace sign, “so I doubt he’ll want to take me. Or even go himself.” Smiling with appreciation, you add quickly, “thank you guys so much for the invite.”
Connie slinks his arm around your shoulders while Sasha gives him and you a high-five at the same time. Nice, it’s crisp. “Yo! I can’t wait!” Connie exclaims with enthusiasm – the same enthusiasm that infects the crowd from insipid to invigorated in no time. “First, let’s get you a cool outfit for free. Cause once my boss sees I knocked his ass out I’m fired.”
“I’m getting a cool outfit too!” Sasha excitedly agrees, reassuring you naturally. “I’m always asking Constance to slip me a free dress but he never does.” Pouting when Connie yells for her to never call him that again, Sasha begins to peruse the racks of clothing surrounding you three. And I guess Floch but he’s literally down for the count.
Connie, with the cutest opportunistic grin, adds, “I’m already gonna get fired. May as well make this a concert worth remembering down to what you wore!”
Sasha begins shopping with Connie’s last paycheck as her credit card, and Connie has his arm around your shoulders in a friendly way. It’s as if you’ve known him for years. Like the three of you are best friends reunited, you find yourself agreeing with a nod of your head.
howdy guys! started a band au fanfic for aot featuring Connie, Reiner, Marco, Jean, and Eren as the band Paradis. in this story you're a fan of the band since the get, proudly calling yourself an island devil; which is the name for those who rock out to their nu metal albums.
the story will contain adult themes, references to Christianity and religion, drug use (smoking, alcohol consumption, nothing one would call "extreme"), references to mental health issues, toxic pairings/couples (floch x reader), minor violence, profanity, sexual content, other relationships happening adjacently, and lots of mutual pining but being stupid about it :3
hope you cheek it out and enjoy!! will also post here :3
fugio is such a funny ship like dont get me wrong i love them but giorno’s majestic ass catching feelings for someone??? and it’s this incredibly angsty feral teenage boy wearing a cheese suit???? like okay sure
thinking about going to pride with jotaro. at first he hates how loud it is. it doesn't really bother him because of sensory issues, he's just pissed he can't hear you over loud music and the rowdy crowd. but then he sees how happy you are. how you're smiling and accepting compliments from those around you, even effortlessly acknowledging a component of their outfit you love too. jotaro sees how... blissful this is for you. and he realizes that this is a special day for you. a day where you can truly feel seen – where you can be yourself free from so much judgement – and jotaro feels like he's seeing you in a whole new light. sure jotaro still isn't in love with everything that pride festivals are but he is in love with you. that gleam in your eyes, the hope in your voice, the enthusiasm seeping from all aspects of you. when he lifts you on his shoulders and eats a snow cone with you; when someone asks to take a picture with you or for your phone number. jotaro won't admit it easily but... he's having fun because you're having fun
also great to go to pride with cause if anyone does anything remotely evil his ass will protect you SO well <3
As a queer teen, I am strictly apposed to the KOSA bill. I have linked a bunch of information on the bill in this carrd. I have included several articles and videos on the topic, and links to petitions you can sign.
