Phantasmagoria

23, stuck in the early 2010's, local girl trying to have a good time on this floating rock we call Earth.

[wavingtovirginia]

Virginia Woolf’s bedroom  

[starryeyedseeker]

If I don't move out and have my place looking like this what was it all for

[byjove]

It is so interesting how often guys who try to manipulate their spouse (or long term partner) into an open relationship against their will try to use the justification/guilt trip of “I didn’t get many dates in high school/college and I want to make up for lost time.” or whatever. Which is essentially saying ‘You are pretty much the only woman on earth charitable enough to fuck me and love me and I don’t think you’re enough.’ and then she is coerced into the open relationship and women still find him repulsive, even more so now that he is a grown man with a wife trying to hit the clubs. I can’t imagine having something good with somebody for YEARS and deciding to ruin it because I did not get laid in high school.

[starryeyedseeker]

This was kinda healing for me, imo, because I was lost with what I wanted in dating and secretly dreamed of a romance as lovely as the ones in my books when I was a little girl but was too scared of wanting that because of the commitment bit. It's nice of course, but it was sobering to remember that if I get that and I'm ruining a healthy and loving relationship because no one wanted to shag me in high school ... Well, that's just idiocy.

[mahoushojoe]

people in the global south: hey isnt it so fucked up how america basically dictates world geopolitics and can directly fund and endorse our murder and displacement no matter who is in charge and how the system fundamentally prevents people from changing that and that americans who feign allyship make no effort to change that?

some annoying fucking white person with hufflepuff in their bio: so you're telling me you want me to vote for trump right. is that what you want. you want me to vote for the orange man. you're a russian bot aren't you

[wandering-koyote]

🩷🖤💛

[starryeyedseeker]

My wife ❤️

[starryeyedseeker]

By the way, saying this from first and second hand experience. Those annoying corporate bootlickers who want more hours in the office? They have a shit home life. They are not happy with the people they're supposed to be the happiest and most relaxed with. Because NO one with a healthy community and home life wants to spend more time in the office than at home.

[xavrdolan]

Uncle Yanco dir. Agnes Varda

[nearer2thee]

my shrine to anïs nin

[starryeyedseeker]

Brb, building one of my own- (OP this is gorgeous!!)

[televisionenjoyer]

NOOOO THE SIX ORGASMS PERIOD HACK GOT REBLOGS DISABLED JUST AS I TRIED TO REBLOG IT whatever. I'm trying that next period.

[televisionenjoyer]

Rescued media. Fuck it.

[thyhonesteheorte]

objectively my relationship with my dad is worse. but my mind apparently doesn't care about logic because my relationship with my mom hurts so much more. because she at least knows stuff about me. while the connection between me & my dad has been entirely 'off' since i was like 12, me & my mom are constantly 'on' & 'off'. one moment i think she's no better than my dad and the next i'm reminded exactly why she's so much better. if i had to choose to live with one of them for the rest of my childhood i'd choose her without hesitation. (kinda random but indian parents really need to start normalizing divorce lmao) in the end, my dad mostly stays out of whatever happens to me and doesn't interact and i'm fine with it now because i don't really like the person he is, but my mom doesn't stay out of it. she's objectively a better person. she's there, she listens, but also she makes things so much worse. well at least she's got more tact than my dad. i feel like the reason it hurts more with her is because at times i actually have hope whereas i've given up when it comes to my dad. my dad doesn't have expectations to meet so he can't disappoint me any more but i know my mom and she is a much better parent than him and sometimes i expect a healthy interaction and when it doesn't happen i'm left disappointed and hurt. idk i'm just rambling atp

[starryeyedseeker]

Finally found my own hurt in words

[sirius-you-know]

you think you've broken the cycle but then you notice yourself scrolling Tumblr looking for posts relatable to share your trauma

[starryeyedseeker]

Ouch-

[starryeyedseeker]

I'm by myself. My blouse is mostly undone. The coffee is almost ready. I'm recalling lines from the Myth of Sisyphus. I'm dancing to Urge Overkill. Everything is fine. Everything is good.

[starryeyedseeker]

It's been a bit over a year since I posted this. The world is going to shit.

My country is at war, and I hear of people I've lost. I wear cedar bracelets and I can't shut up about it. I'm in my last term of university, but it's so overwhelming and I only have enough determination to strong-arm it until December.

But it's another night and my blouse is mostly undone. The coffee is ready. Najjar is much thicker than I remember. I'm recalling lines from the Myth of Sisyphus and I Survive (Laila Baalbaki). I'm dancing to Urge Overkill and Mariya Takeuchi. Actually, I hop around a lot these days, including tonight, regardless of whether it forms a "consistent" aesthetic or not. The lovely thing about the years is that I know now "consistent" is overrated.

Everything is not fine. Everything is not good. But in my little sphere at night, within this over-caffeinated body and nothing holding up this soon 22-year-old spine but sheer fucking spite and determination... It is. I'll have to face the world again in the morning, and that's how I feel everything is not good.

But in this instance it is. And in the next instance, it won't be. I remind myself, everything passes. The good and bad alike pass in a cycle, like two divorced parents and their kid. And that's the way it is.

How do people in this country drink their coffee so watery? I'll have to introduce my Canadian friends to Turkish sometime. I could do with a guest. No, I'd enjoy one greatly.

Fuck, I turned 22 and I wonder if I'll ever grow over 19.

[starryeyedseeker]

Men can’t even help their mothers by cleaning and collecting the trash because she’s sick, I’m fucking tired of being alive in this shithole I want this to be over

FOR FUCKING REAL!!!

And it gets worse if you're a fellow girl. You'll have these same men barging in while you're studying/working and go: "Go help your mom" as if they have zero connection to her. Bro, you're watching TV, go help your wife/mother 💀

I'm so sorry you feel that way about your surroundings. I wish I had something more comforting to say, but the fact that I couldn't take it to the point where I left the country far, far behind me shows you I do not. I can only hope that some joy comes in the door for the mothers and sisters of the house.

[starryeyedseeker]

Most people when they see someone they love/get horny over: Omg love me fuck me rearrange my organs make me your catboy in a maid dress

Lebanese people:

BURY ME✨✨

[lecoindecachou]

The fact that tumblr is cheering for fucking Iran really says it all and shows y'all need to shut up forever about the Middle East. We get it, you think the only good Jew is a dead Jew. But aligning yourselves with the Islamic Republic? Fucking really?

[starryeyedseeker]

It's easy to cheer for a murderous regime if you're never going to live there and crave some moral high. Funny how they were all about letting victims of any atrocious crimes 'speak and advocate for themselves' until it's Middle Eastern women or Jews. Fuck them.

[royxart]

Yes, my Lady

Kuroshitsuji crossover just because~

[pet-goblin]

call me a bluetooth earbud the way i repeatedly fail to make connections with the readily available persons waiting to pair around me

[philosophybits]

“At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face.”

— Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus

[starryeyedseeker]

And it's terrifying at first but by the stars is it lovely in the end.