Hiya! My name is Jay or Smiles! He/they/she/steam/cog/hatch pronouns! DNI: Transphobes, Pedophiles, MAPs, Queerphobes, Zoos and other nasty people who fit in such criteria. {Writing Requests are: OPEN}
The Amazing Digital Malpractice Lawsuit, chapter 3: Darkness and Light
Pomni and the other five digital circus survivors wake up to find that the nightmare they’ve been living for the past several years was an experimental therapy gone wrong. Though much of what they experienced was an illusion, the deaths of the abstracted were very real. It is now up to them to seek justice while trying to reintegrate into their mundane lives.
This is not a direction that I think the show will or should go- it’s just a canon-divergent AU that I thought I could tell an interesting story with.
---
“Alright, Dad,” Gloria said, herding Arthur into his bedroom and turning on both the lights and the two bedside lamps. “I have practicum and then night classes, but… I’ll check on you first thing tomorrow. There’s no-prep food in the fridge, so please don’t try to cook, or drive… Just… try not to get hurt, okay? And call if you need anything.”
“Get hurt? Why would I get hurt?” Arthur asked, cocking his head.
Gloria looked close to tears. “We’ll… talk later, okay? I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Arthur was about to offer to talk about whatever was bothering her, but Gloria left before he could.
Arthur tried to get his bearings. He was in his room. Right, it was about twelve-thirty on a Sunday- he had some downtime. That was a good thing, too- his head was feeling kind of fuzzy for some reason. Maybe he was getting sick. He found an old National Geographic magazine he’d never gotten around to reading and started paging through it. It was hard to actually finish any article, though- his mind kept drifting off.
Yep, must be coming down with something. Eh, might as well go out and water the plants.
When Arthur turned off the lights and stared into the dark room, something occurred to him.
I was just at the circus. Then another thought occurred. How did I get back here? And where are the others? Did they get out, too?
Arthur stepped into the dark room and closed the door to let himself remember. Within half a minute in darkness, he could recall the image of lending Gangle his phone, and sitting with Ragatha in the waiting room. Ragatha had mentioned Pomni and Zooble, too. And Jax...
Arthur rushed to open the door, certain he didn't want to remember more of that. Right. They all got out safe. Time to go tend the garden.
The garden was already green for early Spring- full of pollinator-attracting plants, and butterfly-feeding plants, and plenty others that Arthur was too mentally scrambled to remember the purpose of at the moment. He thought he remembered that the raspberry bushes were for eating, but after tasting one of the leaves, he was having second thoughts. He hadn’t spent very long with the watering hose before the sun started to set. Odd- he felt like he’d only tried to read for about half an hour before giving up. He checked his watch- 5:37.
Had he just spent most the last five hours just… spacing out in his room? That was odd. Queenie would’ve usually checked on him if he disappeared for that long- seeing if he was losing himself in a coding marathon like she kept telling him to quit doing on the weekends. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen her in the house, either. Where was…
Oh. Right.
Her name wasn’t Queenie. It was Emilia. And she was close to dead. Comatose… and somehow, it was because of him.
A butterfly flew by, and Arthur watched as it flittered towards the sunset. Before long, it’d probably be dark enough out for him to remember how he’d done that to her. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.
That night, after hours of tossing and turning in a brightly-lit room, Arthur turned off the lights in hopes that his guilt would be kinder to him than his circadian rhythm. It wasn’t. The dark brought back everything.
At 4:24 that morning, Arthur grabbed his phone, turned its brightness all the way down, made a recording of everything he remembered, and sent it to Bella. He owed her that much. Then he turned on the lights and finally fell into a light, unrestful sleep.
A few hours later, Arthur was awoken by his cell phone ringing. He picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Arthur. It’s Bob.”
“Who?”
“Uh, The CEO of C & A. You know, the place you work at.”
“Oh.”
“So… we reviewed your therapy tapes, and it seems like you’ve had a change in circumstances. We’re offering you to keep your job and start working from home effective immediately. And of course, we’ll cover any medical expenses caused by this whole… ordeal- both yours and your wife’s. Does that suit your new needs, there, Buddy?”
“Uh, sure! Sounds good to me!” Arthur answered groggily. “Wait, is there a catch?”
“Nope! For now. We know you’re going through a lot right now. We’ll… talk about that part later, alright?”
“...Okay.”
“Great. Great. Talk to you soon.” With that, the phone call ended.
The next time he was in darkness, Arthur would wonder whether he’d have agreed to keep working with C & A if he’d been in his right mind. Stay involved in the company that had disabled him and effectively killed his wife? It was ridiculous. And the whole thing seemed designed to shut him up legally, even if that hadn’t been said yet.
But… there weren’t a lot of jobs that would hire someone who couldn’t think straight unless they were in darkness, and Arthur had been doing well for himself, but not could-choose-not-to-work-again-in-his-life well. Emilia’s hospital bills could wipe out his savings, and there’d be no putting Gloria through med school if he was on disability. There was… much to consider about what his life would look like going forward, both in the short and long term. It might be time for another recording, too.
-
Felix wiped down their station with corrosive-smelling disinfectant. Their next client was a little late, but that was all the better- maybe they’d have a no-show and get to grab a quick coffee.
Someone approached the chair. Dang, no coffee then.
“Um. Hi. Is this… Felix?” came a small voice.
“Yep. That’s me.” Felix turned to look at the girl. She was short, thin, nervous-looking, wearing a fuzzy white sweater, and clutching a sketchbook way harder than necessary. Ninety-percent chance, this was her first tattoo and she was definitely going to scream while getting it. “So, what do you have in mind?”
“I was… hoping for this.” The young woman turned the paper. On the other side of it was a smiling white mask, framed with red ribbon.
It immediately dawned on Felix: if they’d seen a woman who looked like that at any of the fast-food places they’d checked… they would have asked if she remembered Zooble from the circus.
“...Gangle?”
The girl smiled wide. “Zooble!”
“Oh my God! How did you find me?” Felix asked, voice practically at a squeal.
“Long story short, I heard about you guys from a friend.”
“Wow. Small world, I guess. What’s your real name? Mine is Felix.
“Lizzie.”
“Great to actually meet you. So, you still want the tattoo?”
“Well, n-not that one. Maybe just a little heart in the most painless place possible?”
Felix’s eyes narrowed slightly. This was… a lot more daring than they knew Gangle to be. “You sure? The cancellation fee is less than going through with it.”
Lizzie looked hesitant. “Well, um… I could get it started, at least.”
Lizzie sat down, and, once they decided where the tattoo should go, Felix got to work inking a little heart onto the back of her shoulder. She took it surprisingly well, keeping nice and still. “So… gotta ask. If you found me through a friend, why come here instead of just getting my number?”
“...To be honest, even after I got your phone number, I was a little scared that someone… y’know… normal, would pick up the phone, and I’d just end up sounding like I’d completely lost it.”
“Ha. Makes sense. I got into some weird conversations while looking for you.”
“Yeah. Plus, I'm a sucker for a meet-cute,” Lizzie admitted. “So… I already know about the lawsuit. Arthur’s the first of you guys that I met. But I can’t wait to meet the rest of you.”
“Yeah, we’ll add you to the group chat. We’re actually meeting in person in a few days, so your timing’s good.” The two talked until the tattoo was done, topics shifting from art to current events to places they wanted to take each other now that they were in the real world.
As Felix applied the second skin to the completed heart, they asked a last question. “Hey, there’s something I need to ask you that I probably shouldn’t ask while on the clock. I get off work at six. Can we talk then?”
Lizzie smiled awkwardly. “Yeah. Wanna meet at the cafe across from here?”
“Sure thing.”
With that, Lizzie left. Felix took a deep breath as they gave themself a look in the salon mirror. It’d taken them most of their life to love what they saw in it, and they did, but they knew it was an acquired taste. They didn’t do a damn thing to hide it anymore, either- no shapewear to look perisex, no hat to hide the dyed hair, leather sleeves rolled up to show their soft, hairy, tattooed forearms. That was for the best- if they weren’t a match to Lizzie, better that they find out now.
She’ll let me down gently. That’s the only mode she comes in. Still, it had been nice, even once, to touch her real-life skin.
Come six, Felix made their way over to the cafe. Lizzie was already sitting at it, with one croissant and hot chocolate in front of her and one for the empty chair across from her. She looked like she was expecting bad news.
“Hey,” Felix said, sitting down across from her. “Uh, thanks for buying.”
Lizzie smiled but couldn’t meet their eyes for more than half a second. “Hey. No problem.” There was a half-second pause. “So… Do you want to keep dating now that we’re out?”
“Yes,” Felix breathed, their body flooding with relief.
A shaky smile spread across Lizzie’s face as she wiped a tear from each eye. “Y-you sure? I mean, you know how my life is out here. I’m not exactly a… success story, or a-”
“Hey, shut up! Not another word of that. I loved you in there, and I love you out here. We can figure out the rest.”
“Th-thank you, Felix.” There was a beat of silence as the two took each others’ hands. “There’s one other, much less stressful thing I wanted to ask you.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“You look really strong. Do you work out?”
“I mean, I’m no expert, but yeah.”
“Could we… work out together? I wouldn’t know how to get started on my own.”
“Sure. Why the sudden interest?”
“Well… remember when Jax tossed me by the mask and I flew like a frisbee because my body didn’t weigh anything? Or when I didn’t want to go on that shark-riding adventure, so Caine tied me into a bow and tossed me in? Or when the gloink queen stretched me out and used me as dental floss? Yeah, that’s why.”
“Ugh, yeah, that makes sense. I still have nightmares about my limbs falling off, and showing myself the physical stuff I can do without breaking does help with that. Does tomorrow work? I could pick you up at-”
“No!”
“Huh? Why?”
“Well… I’m kind of staying with my mom right now, and don’t want my mom to know that we’re hanging out. So, I’d prefer to meet you there. Sorry.” With each statement, she shrank back a little more.
“Is it because I’m not a man? I can do a pretty convincing boy mode.”
“No, she already knows I’m gay. It’s because…” Lizzie gripped Felix’s hands harder. “Well, she got a really bad first impression of Arthur and Jax, and she doesn’t really want me to hang out with digital circus survivors, and you’re, well…”
“Covered in tattoos, piercings, and other things that make me look like a bad influence?” Felix finished for her, taking no apparent offense.
Lizzie blushed. “Well… I know that you’re the most stable one out of all of us. But yeah… with her, you’ll have two strikes against you before you say a word. I don’t want to put you through that.”
“That makes sense. Hey, I’m really glad you found me. The more of us survivors can stick together, the better.”
The two talked a bit longer. At the end of it, they kissed and went their separate ways..
-
It had been decided that every Sunday night, the circus survivors would meet up. It would be an opportunity to exchange information and to talk in-person about how re-integration to the real world was going. One by one, the group trickled into Christine’s apartment, sat at her table, and filled their plates with delivery pizza and ceasar salad- first Felix, then Bella, then Lizzie.
“So, how’s everyone adjusting to this whole, ‘maintaining a body’ thing?” Bella asked in her ever-cheery tone. “Because I know it was an adjustment for me.”
“Yeah, it’s a whole thing,” Felix concurred. “My first night back, I forgot that eating was, like, not just recreational out here. Now I have reminders on my phone for everything- showering, brushing teeth, all of it.”
“It was really scary driving again for the first time,” Lizzie admitted. “But hey, I’m here, right?”
Through the whole thing, everyone was nodding and smiling. Christine felt like she should say something to kind of “bring the meeting to order.” But she wasn’t sure what- or if they could start until Arthur got there. “So… is Arthur coming?” was what came out.
Everyone quieted down. Christine nearly winced- it was like she’d poured a bucket of cold water over the function
“No,” Bella said, looking worried.“He said that he’d just be a liability. I offered that we could keep the lights low and he could bring his sunglasses, but he said he’s not sure he’s ready to be in darkness that long, either. He did give me two recordings to share with you, though.”
“Well, let’s hear it,” Felix said.
Bella sighed and pressed play.
Hello. This is Arthur. I’m going to tell you everything I know about what C & A did to us, as well as my role in it. First, though- I’m sorry for my behaviour back at the clinic. Heh… all of that circus silliness is a lot less funny out here, isn’t it? I’m still learning how to live with what happened, but I learned to prefer the dark and the memories once. I can do that again.
Anyways, C & A is a cutting-edge tech company whose current focus is on AI and VR. I am a programmer for them- primarily a bughunter.
I didn’t have extensive involvement with the therapy we were supposed to receive- and trust me, what we went through was not what we were meant to. But I was tasked with fixing a bug with it. You see, in the trial, one of their one hundred participants had experienced brain death due to emotional and existential overwhelm. I designed what amounted to an “eject button” that removed participants who were close to what we came to call “abstraction” when we were in the circus.
There was a long silence.
They… they should have checked. There should have been checks and balances in place. Or… technicians watching, or something…
I sent them the wrong file. Instead of the updated code for the AI therapy program, I sent them the code for another program that I’d been repairing- a versatile digital circus game program made for children. The program was nowhere near complete. Y’know, I’d been debating whether I should put the eject button in that one, too, just in case… but kids were supposed to be able to come and go from it as they pleased, and it was supposed to be a lot less emotionally intense than therapy. It was never meant to be a bunch of us trapped there, thinking we could never get out. And you know… I had time to think it over, or so I thought.
I was so confident that I’d made the VR therapy safe that I decided to go through it with my wife. She wouldn’t have tried it if I hadn’t been there supporting her… There was a sniffle.
I’m sorry. This really was all my fault.
…No. No, that’s wrong. C & A was always an experimental, deliver-quick-and-fix-later sort of company, and there've been some near-misses in the past… but I didn’t think they were so shoddy and understaffed that they’d have no one watching us in real-time. I thought we’d learned from… last time… not to let a single point of failure become so catastrophic. Even the amount of time compression should have been a warning sign- it was supposed to compress hours or days, not years.
I shouldn’t have trusted this company with myself and my wife. But I think we have a chance at suing them for gross incompetence. That’s all I know. I’ll… keep you updated.
For a moment, the group was silent, food untouched.
“Wow. All this from a mis-sent file,” Felix said.
“Yeah. And he’s right,” Bella agreed. “A mis-sent file shouldn’t have been allowed to lead to this.”
“So… what’s in the other tape?” Christine asked.
Bella sighed. “While he was in the light, he agreed to keep working for them.”
“After all that?!” Felix snapped.
“Well- yeah,” Bella said, her voice getting defensive. “He thinks that being an insider for a bit longer could help us with the court case. And, anyway… not a lot of places are going to hire someone who can only work from home, and he just lost his wife’s income. He’s having a hard time, okay?”
“But… what if they get to him while he’s in the light?” Lizzie squeaked. “They could make him sign an NDA… or even testify against us.”
“Yeah, I worry about that, too,” Bella admitted, looking down at her lap. “He said he’ll keep his phone off during the day and only communicate with C & A by email while he’s in the dark, but I don’t know. I don’t think we can trust C & A not to find a way to manipulate the light version of him.”
“What can we do about it?” Felix asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve been checking in on him every day, and that includes asking him if C & A has done anything. Between me and his daughters, it must be annoying having so many people worrying over him. But I don’t know what else to do.”
There were nods, and for a little while, the only sound was the clink of silverware. “Any luck finding Jax?” Bella asked Christine.
“No.” Her voice had a finality to it that said there wasn’t much else to say on the subject. The video she'd made still had zero views.
“Wanna… go back to laughing about how it’s been readjusting?” Bella asked, forcing a smile.
“I guess,” Christine said. “I feel like I should be bringing out Cards Against Humanity or something. Cheer things up, y’know?”
“I’m game,” Felix said. “Anyone have more updates on the court case, or should we get started?”
No one had anything to add, so Christine went to get the game.
—
Elsewhere, and not too long after, Arthur and his two daughters were having a somber pizza dinner in a hospital cafeteria. The sight of Emilia hooked up to numerous machines, and the doctor’s explanation that only one of the abstracted had recovered brain function while three had died, didn’t make for a cheerful atmosphere. In the hospital room, Arthur had turned the lights off, held his daughters close, and offered comforting words and promises not to become a burden to them if there was any way to avoid it. Under the fluorescent lights, he stared forward blankly as he ate, looking like he could tell from social cues that he was supposed to be uncheerful but didn’t remember why. He’d kept his shades on- he’d promised he would whenever they were around- but apparently the lights were too bright here for that to keep him lucid.
A young woman in nurse’s scrubs made her way to the table, speed-walking. “Is this Gloria and Rosalind?” She asked. She seemed a bit out of breath, like she’d rushed to find them.
“Yeah, that’s us,” Rosalind answered.
“I have new information about your mother’s condition,” the nurse stated professionally. “As you know, this is really uncharted territory for us, and we don’t really know what the prognosis is. But you should know that one of the, um, ‘abstraction’ patients just woke up.”
—
One good thing about being a circus survivor? “Normal” felt really good to Lizzie. It was a perfectly average overcast day, and she was taking the long way home to listen to her playlist of Jpop, extended anime theme songs, and whatever other cringe she would only ever listen to alone. Traffic was… average, but it didn’t stress her like it had when she’d first gotten out of the circus. Working out with Felix had been… well, mildly embarrassing, but also reassuring. Ten pounds was always ten pounds. She didn’t suddenly get cartoonishly strong or weak because it would make for a funny moment. The rules in this world were grounded. Consistent. Steadying.
When Lizzie got back to her mom’s place, a strange man was there, sitting on the couch across from her mom. He was bald, bearded, very tall, and very heavyset- imposing enough to swallow the dainty room. A pin decorated the breastpocket of his suit: the white and blue C & A logo.
“There she is,” the man said, getting up to approach Lizzie, getting just a bit too close. “We were just talking about you.”
“No, we weren’t,” her mom argued. “Unless you mean, talking about how his company will never touch you again.”
"At least let her make that choice herself,” the man said gruffly. He reached out to give her a handshake that Lizzie weakly reciprocated. “My name is Ed, and I’m a consultant for C & A. I understand that your experience with C & A’s VR therapy was rather traumatic for you. So, we wanted you to test out a new technology of ours that can remove all your memories of it. For free. In no time at all. It’ll be like nothing happened. Sound good?”
“N-no,” Lizzie stammered. “H-have you offered this to the others?”
“I apologize, but that’s confidential,” the man said.
“Alright, you have your answer,” Lizzie’s mom snapped. “Now go.”
The man nodded, still looking at Lizzie with something sharp in his eyes. “Sure. Well, here’s my business card. Contact us if you change your mind.” He handed Lizzie a plain-looking C & A business card. “Have a nice day.” With that, Ed left.
—
Once word of this meeting reached the group chat, it was decided that Arthur needed to leave C & A as soon as possible. If they had technology like that, they could easily take Arthur’s memories and cripple their case. And if it was as shoddy as the VR circus was, it very well might kill him.
I could leave now, Arthur messaged, but then we might never find Jax. Are you okay with that?
Christine thought back to the man she’d seen at the clinic- scrawny arms and collapsed veins. If she never found him, she’d have no way of knowing that he was okay. No, she messaged. I’m sorry.
I have a last-resort way that we could find him, but it’s a doozy- the kind of doozy that we should only talk about in-person.
The group met in person as soon as possible. Huddled in Arthur’s darkened bedroom, with blackout blinds on the window and only a candle for light.
“Alright. I’m afraid that this doozy of an option isn’t quite legal, and it’ll hinge on your urban exploring skills. But it goes way beyond finding Jax. It could help us to connect with the family members of all the abstracted. You see, there’s one witness to all of this that knows everything about all of us- even things we haven’t said out loud. He’ll be an immense asset to our case if we can break him out.”
“Break him out? You mean they're… holding a witness prisoner?” Christine asked.
“In a way,” Arthur stated.
“Shouldn’t we just go to the police, then?” Bella asked.
Arthhur sighed. “Unfortunately, they’d be no help. The prisoner isn’t legally a person, so C & A is within their rights to keep him.”
By now, the whole group was staring at Arthur in horror.
Please stop trigger tagging with #epilepsy tw/cw/warning/etc.
I need every single person to understand how horrible tumblr’s tagging system is
I go into the tag for epilepsy and its all flashing lights. We can’t use our own tag because people without epilepsy fill it up with improper warnings.
Use ‘flashing’ in place of ‘epilepsy’ in your tags. You aren’t warning people of epileptics, you’re warning us of flashing lights. Please please tag properly. Epileptics say this endlessly and constantly and it’s ignored. You are risking lives by doing this.
Here’s proof of what I mean:
THIS POST IS 100% OKAY TO REBLOG, I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE WITHOUT EPILEPSY TO ESPECIALLY DO SO!
🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨
omg im one of your favourite followers 🥹 tyy
(in order of rn)
Wet (i LIVE this one)
how to make crows cry
war isnt murder
Mr brightside
mitti ke bete
*other ones that are just as important but i cant fit all of them in 5 and i feel like more people should know them(not in order)
Just a girl
girls just wanna have fun
labour
dont cry for your daughters eve
feed us your girls
Ghar kab aaoge
all the dhurandhar songs lmaoo
NPC by cavetownnnn rhahhh
devil town :33
For us
SAILOR SONGGG
Update: im too lazy for this shit so um ignore if youve already been involved(if ur close to me and not tagged its because i think youve alr been tagged xx)
@kurobkasa @moro-thekebab-noodles @walking-mushroom @whackybird-offical @jess-is-toolazy @deltasimaginaryland @evelyn3377 @the-king-of-kaumidy @random-indian-girl (tag pipes i forgor her url ;-;;;) @fancysheepnacho
I’ve had these saved for a long time and unfortunately don’t know the source either, but here are the other tutorials from this artist if anybody is interested!
I'm gonna make a post with all of the 'stick figure violence' adjacent images I have. if anyone knows any similar ones I'm missing PLEASE SEND ME THEM. I have an unhealthy obsession with them.
