100% Not The Identity Fraud Goblin

I’m definitely not doing identity fraud

[stewgoblin]

I despise you and your pretending to be me. You shall burn in hell stew I fear

Mmmmm brimstone and fire stew

[the-stew-goblin]

I may have slept for too long in my stew and now I am wrinkly and look like I'm 500 years old

[bb1913]

Is that not a good thing you’re much older you’re as old as stew itself

[the-stew-goblin]

I have that eternally youthful gobliny glow because I am God's favorite stew goblin

[stewgoblin]

I’m gods least favourite

[the-stew-goblin]

YOU'RE NOT EVEN A STEW GOBLIN YOU'RE THE IDENTITY THEFT GOBLIN GET OUT OF HERE YOU PARASITE

[stewgoblin]

Awe thx

[the-stew-goblin]

I may have slept for too long in my stew and now I am wrinkly and look like I'm 500 years old

[bb1913]

Is that not a good thing you’re much older you’re as old as stew itself

[the-stew-goblin]

I have that eternally youthful gobliny glow because I am God's favorite stew goblin

[stewgoblin]

I’m gods least favourite

[satan-offical]

my head is itching *sprints towards you* MY LICE ARE GONNA GET YOU *gets faster*

[stewgoblin]

Lice stew

[laciffo-satan]

Vampires can't be on tumblr. We all love garlic bread with soup. They'll be an outcast.

[stewgoblin]

I do not like soup I am offended you would say such a thing

[what-even-is-thiss]

Instead of saying this soup was made from whatever canned vegetables I’ve got lying around I’m gonna call it pottage. Makes me sound like medieval peasant.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’m making pottage. Just dumping whatever the hell I’ve got in a pot and hoping for the best.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I don’t get paid for another few days so we’re having pottage for dinner

[potatopegger]

@the-stew-goblin thoughts on pottage??

[the-stew-goblin]

Pottage is acceptable I suppose

[stewgoblin]

Far Better then soup

Still worse than stew

[satan-offical]

I'm sorry but I like lemon and lime flavoured things don't crucify me

[stewgoblin]

Lemon and lime ad Nice zest to stew

[aceofpans]

tumblr is a website full of clowns who all think theyre jesters

[stewgoblin]

I am goblin not jester

[aceofpans]

tumblr is a website with a goblin clown

[stewgoblin]

Please acknowledge the rest of the goblins

[aceofpans]

tumblr is a website full of clowns who all think theyre jesters

[stewgoblin]

I am goblin not jester

[916gawd-deactivated20190411]

Reblog if you think public libraries are important and should be maintained.

[stewgoblin]

Cook books for stew great place to eat stew

[theveryevilblog]

fun fact: 0 people will see this post as I am not tagging it

[yahooo-official]

wrong. gimmickverse blast

[gimmick-summoner]

@walmart-the-official

[satan-offical]

Wrong. Officalverse blast (the better one)

[mobthoughts]

@is-it-a-warcrime

[is-it-a-warcrime]

this post

DOES

violate the Geneva Conventions

(Protocol Additional to the Geneva Conventions of 12 August 1949, and relating to the Protection of Victims of International Armed Conflicts (Protocol I), 1977, Part III, Article 36)

[secretly-insane]

How?? I do not want to read the conventions right now but I will if I need to

[is-it-a-warcrime]

"In the study, development, acquisition or adoption of a new weapon, means or method of warfare, a High Contracting Party is under an obligation to determine whether its employment would, in some or all circumstances, be prohibited by this Protocol or by any other rule of international law applicable to the High Contracting Party."

[blarg2429]

@the-stew-goblin

[the-stew-goblin]

*puts whatever the fuck this all is into a stew*

[stewgoblin]

Puts you in a stew

[fuckass-bisexual-goblin]

Goblin has been found! Found by a hawk. A big one! Hawk picked Goblin up, took Goblin high into the sky!

Goblin wonders where we are going.

[the-stew-goblin]

That's my stew hawk ♥️

You're being taken into the stew ♥️

My apologies no I will not spare you ♥️

[fuckass-bisexual-goblin]

stew goblin is cruel...

[the-stew-goblin]

No I put you into a stew out of love! It is warm and cozy and you can eat as much as you would like!

[stewgoblin]

I will put you in a stew out of spite

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[satan-offical]

This town is way too big for the one of me *spins pistol* *tumblrweed goes by* and that tumblrweed can be my friend

[stewgoblin]

Hmmmm tumblrweed stew

[laciffo-natas]

Oh wait did I even tell y'all I got a boyfriend

I don't think I did,,, haha sorry 𐔌՞꜆.  ̫.꜀՞𐦯

[the-stew-goblin]

My boyfriend now, because he's in my stew

[stewgoblin]

No hes mine now (scurry’s away with him above my head)

[james-offical]

I tire of the chatbots. They bring pain. Here is a phrase:

“egg on the branch”

Go forth. Onward. Give this phrase a meaning. Any meaning shall do.

[the-stew-goblin]

It means when I take eggs out of bird nests and put them into my stew for yummy bird egg stew

[james-offical]

bird egg stew 😁😁😁

[the-stew-goblin]

Bird egg stew 🤤

[stewgoblin]

Notes down hiding in bushes

[stewgoblin]

ME!