“the pen is mightier than the sword.”
apparently, this quote’s father meant for it to be interpreted to say that “communication is more effective than violence ..” but when i heard it, i felt something a bit more. something like :
“ the written truth is greater than the offense against you - “
i don’t know if i’m way off but i think i’m on to something.
when i wrote #thesunflowerproject i was only telling a story. my story. about my labor in love, and finding superficial affections and ultimately dying within myself until i finally got it - i finally realized what and Who i had been missing. but the story was not some explorative, optimistic tale - it is wired with the reality of pain, abuse, mistreatment and self harm. and in the times i suffered most i felt like i would die in darkness.
that is, until i found my pen.
i have always kept a journal, wrote in a diary, etc. but when i courted poetry, i fell madly in love - possibly because through poetry i could tell my story and hide behind personification and covert expression - but ultimately, because pen to paper helped me rediscover lost pieces of my soul. the real me was dying to save me from the relationships and the fears that wanted to see me crumble and i found my way back to me, with my pen.
when i think about what people who could never love me would have preferred to see me become, i think of the mockery of love we made together - i think of how someone made a target of my desire to be give myself and all i am to love, and preyed on me for it.. for being trusting and for being open.. and honestly, for being gullible. i think about every tongue that rose up against me to belittle and humiliate me for my innocence and i think of those actions as offenses against me.
it’s my pen that made me feel powerful again -
i have made music out of the broken notes of my life.
with my pen, i changed what should have ended me into metaphors and imagery
i’ve realized that my expression of self and my commitment to my becoming and to loving people well is much more powerful than anything anyone could ever say or do to me. and if i could be brave enough to create when i’ve been hurt, attacked, sad, offended, or empty.. then i’ve not just survived, i’ve activated true power -
and because of this i can never stop writing - and because of that..
i will never stop healing.
i’m grateful for the way the words are strung together, but i’m even more grateful that they are alive to speak and explain themselves to me.
“the pen is mightier than the sword,” screams at me to make art out of my worst moments .. to feel my power. to ignite my healing. and to inspire others to heal too.
ellievsbear
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