he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Cosmic Funnies
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Stranger Things
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
𓃗
occasionally subtle
🪼
Discoholic 🪩
tannertan36
Janaina Medeiros
Not today Justin
Claire Keane
Love Begins
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NASA
hello vonnie
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Origami Around
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@stonedasamartyr
I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF
This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.
Then bring me luck
the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work
submissive in the way a livestock guardian dog is submissive to the sheep it kills wolves for
being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent
[a ticket reads that a customer wants their burger cut in half]
-"What the hell why are they so picky??? That's like for kids. That's like something my DAD would-- wait i don't have a dad-- that's like something my MOM would do"
-"BRO WHY ARE YOU CUSSING ME OUT IN SPANISH???" for some reason shouted so loudly that customers still in line all start laughing
-i open the restaurant and notice the kitchen is still kind of dirty and try to glean who closed last night, and i overhear two of the boys talking about yesterdaay
me: "so, you helped in the kitchen last night?"
IMMEDIATELY: "IT WASNT ME I JUST DID THE FRYERS LAST NIGHT"
me: "I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING YET"
i accidentally tripped over a gas line while trying to clean behind the stove and made a loud fear noise and the kid helping me clean the kitchen goes "dude your screams scare me. They remind me of when i accidentally step on my dog's tail"
the Real Adult in charge went to go give someone a break in another store and I'm chilling in ours for a bit and 5 mins one of the girls rushes up to me like "DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE AN ATTIC?"
I did. I have never seen the attic so I go check it out and there's already like three of them up there
me: the fuck are you guys doing???
clerk: they wanna do the grimace challenge up there
one of them has never heard of vampires
update about this one because another coworker wouldnt let it go: he insists he's Heard of them but thought they were, quote, "like, really big bats"
Clerk 1: dude don't mix that isn't it like toxic? What are the chemicals you're not supposed to mix--
me: WHAT'S IN THE SINK.
Clerk 2: We're trying to clean the sink
me: Which cleaners did you MIX
Clerk 3: All of it
me: DRAIN IT.
[one brief emergency explanation about never mixing cleaners and what mustard gas is]
Clerk 1: oh yeah didn't they use that during like world war two
Me: yeah man it's like, a war crime now. It's just such a horrible way to die that we can't use it anymore
Clerk 2: wait fr???
Clerk 3: ohh. What about opium?
Me: ...what?
Clerk 3: like the opium war.
Me:
[one brief emergency explanation about what the opium war was later]
Explained to the two boys helping me in the kitchen why we submerge our lettuce at night to help it keep. They proceed to have a conversation where one is absolutely messing with the other by trying to convince him that both lettuce and reptiles are living things that need to be soaked to survive, and are therefore related. he speaks with so much conviction and just keeps doubling down and the other one just gets increasingly angrier and I'm just trying not to crack up over the fryers
and then the exasperated kid whirls around at me and goes "IS LETTUCE REPTILES???" and I lose my fucking mind
I run this place with one other person who i Do Not Like and the kids are well aware of our stupid restaurant manager beef and love to gossip
They keep moving shit to inconvenient locations and I hate it and keep having to move shit back, then once on my day off they decided to call in help and move my Entire Fucking Kitchen around and I was real fucking pressed about it for like the rest of the week (put off opening the next morning to move all the big ass machines and fryers back my damned self to establish territory or whatever)
A week later one of the really sweet girls who helps me in the kitchen goes "hey I have a confession. me and (other kid) were there while they were moving your kitchen and we knew you'd hate it. I was going to say something"
"Oh no worries, it's not really your responsibility to go between us like that"
"no no, I was going to tell her to at least ask you about it first but then I was like 'hmmm....let's see how this plays out'. for the drama."
"...ok I guess I should probably be mad but that's actually really fucking funny"
today i turned around and saw this
More people should abandon Internet discourse and get into observing/engaging with local politics. I say this not because local politics often offers more meaningful opportunities for effective praxis (although it does), but because local politics often offers just as much highly toxic and entertaining petty drama.
I highly recommend city council meetings. You might make yourself an informed voter and active community member or something. You also might get to watch an ongoing soap opera of old men ready to murder one another over trash collection ordinances, and unlike the Internet, none of them can effectually tell one another to kill themselves no matter how hard and how clearly they are thinking it.
tags from coloredcompulsion:
“Could you be the chosen one?”
“I am very much the guy who’s here.”
*walking into the morgue to find body parts scattered across the floor* oh my god who closed last night
Or just at the bar i work at tbh
[Transcript:
Reddit user "TheBirminghamBear" makes a comment that reads as follows:
I consider myself a pretty imaginative person.
But I cannot, and will never be able to comprehend how anyone gets worked up when a person wearing a suit comes in one day and now is wearing a dress and says "I'd like to be called 'she' now."
I mean the amount of mental energy people have spent getting worked up about this is just fucking batfuck insane.
We are creatures born of voidstuff that bootstrapped consciousness out of *nothingness* and in the infinitesimal span of 2000 years went from pushing around a stone wheel to landing a rocket on the fucking moon.
And yet hundreds of millions of people spend their entire fucking lives fighting against a tiny percent of people that would just like to be called a she instead of he or vice versa.
What a fucking waste. It's pathetic. The Protectors of Public Bathrooms? The Purity of Pronouns Police? Fucking juvenile. Depraved, sad, meager little fools.
It makes me livid beyond the inhumanity and cruelty of it. Like, I would like to lie, and tell you that my anger is entirely on behalf of the trans community, that this is entirely out of empathy for them, but that's only a half truth. Only half of my outrage is on *behalf* of them, the other half is a purely selfish fucking fury at how fucking *pathetic* these bigots are. How sad, meager, nonsensical, and preposterously fucking *stupid* this entire mainstream political anti-trans movement is.
It makes me livid because it's just so fucking beneath our potential as a species. We could be terrforming planets right now, and people like Sophie Wilson are essential to us having the societal capacity to do the work.
And yet we're bogging people like her down in laws focusing on what fucking bits she has and what she wears relative to those bits. Alan Turing did more than nearly any human alive not ONLY to WIN WORLD WAR FUCKING TWO, but to advance the entirety of human technology, and he was harassed his entire life because he liked to fuck men.
So insignificant. So completely, entirely irrelevant to the grand scheme of the cosmos and we are just swarmed and consumed by the weight of these fucking ignorant, meager little losers and their sad, delerious little missions.
These cosmically myopic pissants with a mere fraction of the intellectual capacity of someone like Sophie or Alan Turing are standing around in their filthy fucking mobs protesting people like her, harassing people like her, using the power of government office to attack people like all, and for *what*? Because she was born with a dick but now as an adult prefers to act and dress as though she weren't?
That's *it*. That's *all*. It's so irrelevant to these idiots' lives, so inconsequential to them, so.intensely personal to her and her alone, and yet they just screech and froth and drag our entire species down under the weight of their inanity and stupidity.
Entire political parties full of ivy-league educated opportunistic, psychopathic charlatans and all their ideologically sympathetic propaganda networks are whipping up our worst and stupidest and pointing them at these ordinary, normal people who did nothing wrong for no other reason than because they're a convenient minority to victimize at that moment.
For fucks sake, if you, whoever you are, are among these bigots, take a fucking look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why you want to spend this precious, brief span of your existence being *this* sad and pathetic.
The purity of a fucking pronoun? The safety of a public bathroom? The sancitity of children's sports? Are you fucking serious? You are an adult and *this* is what you think matters? This is what you think constitutes using significant amounts of your time and energy fighting against? These are not real. These are not the serious concerns of a serious human being.
You people are being hooked by the fucking balls by con men and dragged around the streets made to hold a fucking bullhorn for them, shouting bloody fucking panic about *bathrooms* being invaded? Do you ever stop to look around at what a fucking clown you're being made into? Do you? You have one life and you waste it like this?
Sophie Wilson was born with a condition that made her physically and psychologically uncomfortable by the gender norms related to the genitalia she had at birth.
Despite the public fucking spectacle people like you have made of this very simply-addressed issue, she found her peace, she transitioned, and despite the pain of the condition, and the pain of simply *being* trans in an environment this pointlessly fucking hostile, she went on to build essential components to the technology YOU people use to spew fucking hate at her.
That's what she did. Contributed to the good of all mankind. Tell me again how *your* useless, bigoted asses are going to save reality by preventing her from using your bathroom, clowns.
She advanced human knowledge, and yet if she were in modern-day Texas they would want to throw her in jail for wearing a dress. It. Is. Pathetic.
**EDIT**: It's good to go on a rant against transphobia every now and again. As a cis person I don't have many opportunities to converse with these transphobes on a regular basis. I start to forget they exist.
Then they come screeeeeeching in to tell me how misplaced my anger is, because, GASP! Did I know that *people out there were asking them to use different pronouns?!*
The inhumanity of it!
Meanwhile in hellacapes like Florida and Texas they are passing laws to make drag shows illegal, they are calling trans individuals pedophiles in statr houses and trying to pass laws making it illegal to dress "in clothing different to that of the gender assigned at birth."
But yes, YOU are the ones who have had your life upended, what with the, maybe *one* trans individuals you ever actually encounter in real life, who requests you respect their dignity as a human and call them a he even if they were originally born a woman?
You people sound fucking preposterous. I want you to know that. I've listened to five year olds throwing tantrums and screaming blood murder for not getting to eat a whole pack of Oreos and they sound more reasonable than you people.
You know what? I don't believe in the science behind transphobes. I don't recognize you exist. I think you must be making this up. You're not real, so I don't validate your existence. You all agree with me deep down. No one has ever shown me science saying transphobia is a legitimate state of being. So, I invalidate your existence. Thanks for agreeing with me.
Like, I know you SAY you don't believe in honoring other people's pronouns, but you're just making that up for attention. Deep down you really do believe it. I know. 100%.
I'm just asking to you to look at yourselves in the mirror. Just stop and fucking look. You are adults. With access to the internet. You could do anything.
And you are spending significant time and mental energy worrying about the safety of public bathrooms. One guy said calling a transwoman a she would lead to the collapse of the Oxford dictionary.
Do you people hear yourselves? Have you taken just one fucking moment in your adult lives to honestly assess the things you believe in? Do you take a pause to just *look around* at the sort of fucking losers you're standing beside? People banning drag shows? People calling gay people groomers? These are the same people behind segregation. The same people behind satanic panics. Jordan B fucking Peterson. These are your peers on this. This is your peer group. A pack of fucking losers.
For the sake of making something of the rest of your life, just please honestly listen to yourselves and ask yourselves if this is really what you want to be.
End Transcript]
the war on christmas took a dramatic turn today after the main unit of papal marines was caught encamped by several divisions of grinch cataphract
Unpopular Opinion: Eddie Brock is the worst Venom.
If you want an evil Venom with a grudge against Spidey, use Scorpion, Mac Gargan needs something to do.
If you want a good anti-hero Venom, use Flash Thompson’s Agent Venom.
Imagine having this much hatred in your heart
YOUR DRAGON NAME
last two letters of your first name
middle two letters of your last name
first two letters of your mother’s name
last letter of your father’s name
mine would be Urlelan. Reblog and tag this with yours!
I love this because half of the people are getting amazing, fantasy names and the other half are getting unpronounceable ones.
GOD IN HEAVEN
Joe biden is not calling for a ceasefire, hes calling for a ‘pause’ so that ‘hostages can get out’ and then atrocities can continue. Palestine will survive and thrive again, but the united states is allowing and encouraging this right now in real time. Call congresspeople. Write letters.
>wine enjoyers be like 'this one is so very dry'
>taste it
>it's wet
One must wonder how this came about.
NYC STUDIO AVAILABLE $1950/mo UTILITIES NOT INCLUDED
Wanna be nosy? Here's your chance.
0: Height 1: Virgin? 2: Shoe size 3: Do you smoke? 4: Do you drink? 5: Do you take drugs? 6: Age you get mistaken for 7: Have tattoos? 8: Want any tattoos? 9: Got any piercings? 10: Want any piercings? 11: Best friend? 12: Relationship status 13: Biggest turn ons 14: Biggest turn offs 15: Favorite movie 16: I’ll love you if 17: Someone you miss 18: Most traumatic experience 19: A fact about your personality 20: What I hate most about myself 21: What I love most about myself 22: What I want to be when I get older 23: My relationship with my sibling(s) 24: My relationship with my parent(s) 25: My idea of a perfect date 26: My biggest pet peeves 27: A description of the girl/boy I like 28: A description of the person I dislike the most 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend 30: What I hate the most about work/school 31: What your last text message says 32: What words upset me the most 33: What words make me feel the best about myself 34: What I find attractive in women 35: What I find attractive in men 36: Where I would like to live 37: One of my insecurities 38: My childhood career choice 39: My favorite ice cream flavor 40: Who wish I could be 41: Where I want to be right now 42: The last thing I ate 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately 44: A random fact about anything
Colombia!!!
update:
Lula for Brazil 🇧🇷
And yet again the "backwards underdeveloped countries" are the only ones with a fucking spine and moral fiber on earth
the Brazilian foreign minister, in the UN Security Council, warned that the UN will be "remembered—and blamed—for it's inaction and apparent unwillingness in stopping this bloodshed"
anywhere humid and tropical is almost guaranteed to have scarlet millipedes (Trigoniulus corallinus), a successful invasive species thought to have originated in Southeast Asia.
more so than any of the other little millipedes I come across, these seem to be constantly copulating, even out in the open in daylight like this pair in Miami. in captivity, I’ve noticed T. corallinus males will attempt mating with any millipede they can catch, including male Narceus many times their size, who are typically unimpressed with their tiny suitor’s gentle, rolling tickles.
only a pair of the same species, though, can mate successfully, and this is for mechanical reasons: millipede genitalia are often shaped so that a male’s gonopods (modified legs used to deliver sperm) can only connect with a female of the same species. this makes the gonopods a vital source of identifying characteristics for diplopodologists!
eagle: so what do you think about stigmata
prometheus: you know we're in a pre-christian myth, right? like that word doesn't exist yet. your dumb joke is anachronistic.
eagle: stigma talons in your flesh
