Sometimes I want to write a piece from the other side of infertility treatments for people like me who didn’t get there. Who know the end is in sight because the money is running out or the thought of going through even one more cycle is too soul-crushing to bear.
No one really wants to read something like that–it’s not what most people want to hear. When they’re Going Through It, folks need to be reminded that you *can* kick infertility’s ass and walk away from all of it with a baby in your arms. I know I did.
But I would tell people who are just about to reach their fork in the road that even though it feels like it sometimes, all is not lost. You may feel like your doctors failed you, or that maybe you’re less worthy because you’ve watched what seems like every infertile person have their dreams fulfilled and you’re still at square one. You may feel angry and bitter at all of the work you put into making this thing happen and you’ve still got nothing to show for it. You may be terrified at the idea of never having kids or overwhelmed at starting down a brand new path to parenthood after all you’ve been through.
But when you climb out from the wreckage that infertility has made of your life, you might be surprised at how relieved you feel to move on. If you still want to be a parent, you’re going to find another way there. And if you decide, fuck it, we’re gonna be childfree, you’re going to make a wonderful life for yourself.
But above all else, you are not defined by whether you can make a baby. You are good and strong and beautiful and it may not seem like that right now but I promise it’s true. And someday in not too long you’ll believe that. You’re going to be ok.
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