stories-and-kittens

22 years. From Germany. Try out the ''tag for reference'' :)

[sandmandaddy69]

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

[ferret-on-pancakes]

[its-your-mind]

[theotherendcomics]

Dammit, Donald, stop staring 

[rozecrest]

hey don’t cry. spiro the bald eagle failing at catching a crab, okay?

[delphinidin4]

Tons more at the source!

[yeoldenews]

A few of the more creative spellings of Christmas I’ve come across while looking for Dear Santa letters in old newspapers this year.

[stories-and-kittens]

merry chrysler

[pancakeke]

I tried combining the 🥺 emoji with all the other emojis and these ones were the best

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

Goncharov Lore Thus Far, based on the top tumblr post results

Main cast are Goncharov himself, his wife Katya (née Michailov), and Andrey 

One side character is named Mario Ambrosini. He is described as a “sad boi” and is involved in gambling. 

Set in Naples and involving a drug ring/mafia. The plot seems to involve Russian organized crime attempting to get a foothold in Italy. 

There is a Boat Scene. Katya survives via resourcefulness. 

Andrey and Goncharov have a substantial amount of homoeroticism. Andrey also has an internet in Katya. This forms a true love triangle. 

At some point, Katya threatens to shoot Goncharov. This is framed as a Girlboss Moment. 

There is also a Beer Bottle Scene. 

Katya fakes her death. 

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

heavy clock symbolism. A pivotal scene occurs at a clock tower, there is a grandfather clock in the background of some sets, etc 

A supporting female character named Sofia makes an appearance, wearing a cocktail dress. Katya protects her at some point. They’re both in the Boat Scene. At one point they buy fruit together in a marketplace. This is lesbian shipping fuel. 

The villain, likely Mario, has a sidekick named Icepick Joe. Joe commits a final act of heroism before being left for dead— after being killed by an Icepick. Perhaps he turned against Mario and was killed in retaliation?

Goncharov, played by DeNiro, has a very distinctive manner of walking. 

Katya’s brother, Valery, makes an appearance. 

[moreofahorse-deactivated2024121]

from posts I’ve witnessed (only mentioning things I’ve seen >5 blogs post about) - there is an Anchovies scene, and fish symbolism also plays a heavy role. at some point Katya is seen near a fish bowl full of goldfish, and this is important to the Boat Scene as well. - Goncharov and Andrey have homoerotic tension, and this is used to further statements about the cycle of repression and violence

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

The story involves Goncharov losing himself in a downward spiral. It is a tragedy of unbecoming.

There’s a Bridge Scene. This is the one with the clocktower chiming in the background.

There’s a scene involving a tank of anchovies. 

Icepick Joe has a traumatic backstory 

Katya betrays Goncharov AND Sofia. She’s well-intentioned, but it all comes crashing down, ending in her losing them both— losing Sofia emotionally and inadvertently causing Goncharov’s death

There’s a shootout in Pompeii in which Mario destroys historically significant architecture. This is representative of the destructive nature of nationalism.

[shanastoryteller]

when I was very young my mother told me “they’re going to try and teach you that we came from monkeys but that’s not true and you shouldn’t listen to them because we were made from god” and she was my mom and I was like 7, so I pretty much just went “okay, noted, anyway”

anyway like 2 years later evolution comes up in class and one of my classmates goes “is this the we evolved from monkeys thing?”

and I’m on Red Alert. this is what my mom told me about!

the teacher replies, “well, we share a common ancestor, but we didn’t evolve directly from apes. if you go back way before apes or people existed, you’ll find a different third thing we both came from. we know this because of things like fossils”

and I was like whoo! dodged a bullet there, good thing my 4th grade science class isn’t trying to teach us we came from monkeys and instead figured stuff out using fossils and taught us that instead :)

Instructions Unclear, Ended Up Believing In Evolution Anyway

[whatbigotspost]

I’m sorry. I just. I just love farting stepdad so much 😭 Like use what you have available to you.

[flagellant]

I cannot fucking believe how much I'm losing my mind right now over soy sauce history. I'll tell all of you about it after I finish this essay because I need to un-distract myself enough to finish it but what the fuck? What the fuck is going on? I'm losing my fucking mind.

EDIT: if this is in your recommended page before you askme any questions about updates or whatever please just check the tag i'm using

[cock-holliday]

People who switch pronouns in songs to no-homo the situation are so funny. The idea literally never even occurred to me as a kid. Couldn’t be me. I am a woman scorned. I am a man who had his heart broken. I am a guy who hates his hometown. I’m a country boy, I’m a city girl. I’m a slut. I’m addicted to cocaine. It’s a song, man.

[artfulgruesome]

Guys GUYS

BIG NEWS

You’ll never believe what I shelved last night at the library!!!

I couldn’t believe we had this! It’s not even that big of a library but one of the librarians must really know their stuff!!!

[floofhips]

🐌 Slurgel > Slurker > Inbrainia

🐜 Pyrant > Formicide > Causticeps

🐋 Whubble > Wharpoon > Cherubaleen

Concept for starters that change their main typing after being infected by a parasite, a mushroom, a ghost...

[welshaphrodite]

No, no, NO! You don’t understand! If they were going to make a movie called “Goncharov” it would have to be a modern REBOOT of the 1973 film. Then everyone would have the right to consume the media while simultaneously complaining about how “it isn’t as good as the original” or “I can’t BELIEVE that they left out the iconic part XYZ”. We get to watch the film and preserve the original. Everyone wins.

[darksilvania]

Agathized (Rock/Gound) & Opalized (Rock/Ice) fossil pokemons

During the formation of a fossil, due to the minerals in the area, a fossil can become agatized or opalized, this means that the resulting fossil can have parts made out of agathe or opal, giving them an iridiscent look

Due to this process, this 2 fossil pokemons after being revived had some of their body parts completely replaced by the minerals

The Agatized fossil (Rock/Ground) is based on the Doedicurus Clavicaudatus

The Opalized fossil (Rock/Ice) is based on the Elasmotherium Sibiricum

[curiosity-cat]

i see your “goncharov can’t be made into a real movie cause that would ruin it” and raise you; someone does make a real version of goncharov but films 3 or 4 different versions of each scene/plot point, and than mashes them up to create like 30 different versions of the same movie. it’s released in theaters under the guise of being a perfectly normal film, but every person who goes to see it sees a slightly different version, which will just increase the confusion and amount of unconnected lore. is that possible? probably not. but it would be hilarious.

[psychedelicflyingshark]

We need like a month where nothing happens and there's no repercussions we all just stay in bed and hibernate and nothing goes wrong