Stray Kids Ramblings

{ a soft '00 liner with a tendency to ramble | updates maybe once a year, my b}

[straykidsramblings]

jamais vu. [han jisung]

han jisung x fem!reader | college!au | best-friends-to-lovers

word count: 6.9K

genre: angsty fluff

warnings: light violence (because of soccer)

summary: Jisung had a bigger problem than college gnawing at his heart; he had to watch his best friend fall in love with someone that wasn’t him. // “jamais vu: the phenomenon of experiencing a situation that one recognizes in some fashion, but nonetheless seems unfamiliar”

i.

Finally finished with his last class of the day (and, really, of the week), Jisung pushed open the double doors of the music building before strutting out. He slowly reached for the headphones around his neck, preparing himself for the long walk to the Math and Science Complex. With a feel-good song pacing his walk, he practically skipped to the red brick building where his best friend, [name] [last name], would be getting out of class.

She was well worth the extra walk.

The campus of SKU wasn’t the most beautiful on the planet, but it felt like it even at three in the afternoon. His surroundings always seemed brighter whenever [name] was involved. Jisung felt his heart swell as he looked around at the trees and the sky. At times, he forgot he was walking. It truly felt like he walking on air.

By the time he had reached the Math and Science Complex, [name] was exiting the building, looking around for who Jisung assumed was him. Jisung was just across the road, grinning to himself. Pulling his headphones down, he was about to call out to her when a guy Jisung could not recognize waved goodbye.

The action was simple and innocent but stopped Jisung in his tracks. He couldn’t stop the look of annoyance that dawned on his countenance as he watched [name] smile softly, her [eye color] eyes lingering on the stranger’s figure as he walked away. 

Was she biting her lip?

“[name] [last name]!” Jisung yelled. It sounded more angry than he thought he was, shocking the poor girl and poor by-standers.


[name]’s eyes widened as she ran across the road with every intention to hit him. Jisung knew that, all previous irritation disappearing as [name] devoted her attention to him once more.

“What on earth were you thinking?” [name] hissed, nearly hitting him with her Statistics textbook. That would’ve hurt. “You are so embarrassing.”


“You love me,” Jisung argued, wiggling his eyebrows at her. He found his usual spot on her left side.


She scoffed with a shake of her head, but she couldn’t stop the smile that spread on her cheeks. “Yeah, and you hate me.”

“I do not!” Jisung faked a dramatic gasp, placing his hand over his heart.


The two of them settled into their own pace, ignoring the other college students that passed them by. The walk to their frequent study area, also known as Chan’s apartment. It was on the opposite side of campus, closer to the music building, but Jisung never mentioned the extra walk he took to pick her up. After all, walking with a friend was better than walking alone. 

“So, you gonna introduce me to your boyfriend?” Jisung asked. He tried to make his tone light-hearted, but he was genuinely curious--and possibly concerned.


[name] rolled her eyes, but Jisung caught the small smile that she tried to bite back. “Jeno’s not my boyfriend. He’s just someone I sit next to in Stats.”

Jisung hummed in return, clearly unamused. They had come to a road crossing where Jisung paused for less than a second just to make sure [name] wouldn’t get hit. [name] couldn’t care less, crossing the road, daring the cars the to hit her.

“But you’re interested,” Jisung teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He really did have a bad habit of digging these kinds of holes for himself. 


[name] shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess? I mean, yeah, he’s attractive, but he’s also super popular. He just feels out of my league.”

Jisung scoffed. “With an attitude like that, yeah!” 

His outburst at least got a laugh out of her although she probably didn’t believe him. Meanwhile, he tried to ignore the weird constriction around his heart.

It must’ve been allergies or something.

Dozens of conversations passed them by as they walked through the popular pedestrian walk on their way to Chan’s. [name] hugged her Stats book closer to her chest as the next wave of students crashed into the street. She inched closer to Jisung. 

Physical touch was something that was fairly normal in their friendship, but, for whatever reason, Jisung found himself paying more attention to how close [name] was. He could actually smell the coconut shampoo she used. He could trace her face like a map, from her [eye color] eyes that reflected the sun to the bridge of her nose and lastly to the shape of her lips that he found himself going back to.

He blamed it on allergies.

Reaching out to grab her free left hand, Jisung playfully started swinging their arms. 

“It’s such a beautiful day out today!” he exclaimed. “Let’s study outside today.”

[name] smiled at Jisung’s random actions and at the thought of actually enjoying the weather. She wouldn’t mind being outside after being in buildings all day. 

“I’m fine with that, but we should probably tell Chan we’re not coming over,” [name] advised with a slow nod as she formulated her thoughts properly. “Wanna go to Felix’s coffee shop?”


“Oh yeah, he’s working today, so we can get a discount!” Jisung cheered. Sensing the look of disappointment on [name]’s countenance, Jisung sheepishly smiled. “I mean, we can give him tips...?”


“You know how I feel about exploiting discounts from friends,” [name] laughed at Jisung’s reaction.


Jisung groaned. Man, he loved her, but she was frustrating sometimes. They were college kids! They should exploit any resources they had! Still, he gave in.

“You’re just saying that because you work in a five-star restaurant,” Jisung grumbled. 

The two walked past a clearing, taking a right for Felix’s rather than a left for Chan’s.

“It’s not five-star, but I do know better than a guy who works at a records shop,” [name] chided.


Jisung pouted, but he was still enjoying himself. He supposed that just proved that they were best friends. Everything was fun.

The colorless sidewalk revealed steps up to Felix’s blue cafe. While it did not belong to Felix Lee, it still held the same name of “Coffee and Dessert Felix”. Felix thought it was his destiny. The small outdoor patio had one last empty table, so the two of them put their backpacks down as placeholders while they ordered inside. The inside of the cafe was styled like a house, complete with a stone fire pit, black and white pictures that Jisung could only assume was old New York, and strings of lights lighting up the inside like the starry sky.

Felix greeted the two with a smile as bright as the lights. “Welcome! Usual, or do you two want to try something adventurous today?”

“I’ll have my usual, iced Americano,” Jisung informed Felix. He leaned over the counter, smirking as if he had said something fancy. He could feel [name] roll her eyes.


“Bro, mind the space,” Felix chuckled, taking a step back. He looked at [name]. “For you, [name]?”


“Surprise me,” [name] requested.


Felix shot her a wink before accepting Jisung’s credit card for payment. With a quick hand swipe, their order had been paid for, and Felix went to work on the drinks themselves.

Jisung and [name] waited by the counter, quietly conversing about how their days were, how classes were. Since they largely had different classes, it wasn’t common that the two would see each other except for planned occasions such as their study sessions. Jisung missed his best friend, he understood that they were still close. While he had made new friends as well, he still considered [name] his best friend, and he had faith that she did the same.

Felix placed two cups down on the counter in front of the two. Pushing the blue one closer to Jisung, he explained [name]’s drink to her. 

“Okay, so I made an iced mocha with half chocolate and half caramel. If you don’t like it, let me know, and I’ll make you something else.”

[name] giggled, taking the cup from the counter as she and Jisung started walking to the porch. “I’m sure I’ll love it. Thanks, Lix!”

Jisung and [name] walked back to their table, drinks in hand. When they were finally able to sit down, Jisung stretched. He was fully prepared for a nap. So, laying his head down on his one of his notebooks, he was about to until [name] interrupted him.

“We’re still going on our trip, right?” [name] asked, laughing at her friend while she pulled out her own notebooks.


“Of course!” Jisung agreed, perking right up. “It’s the weekend, and that means no responsibilities!”


“More like less responsibilities, but I get what you mean,” [name] countered. “Are Chan and Changbin still coming?”


Jisung shrugged. “As far as I know. What about Lia?”

“She’s all packed up and ready,” [name] answered, tapping her pencil on the table.


Jisung’s face paled as a forced smile naturally came over his face.

“Let me guess,” [name] deadpanned. “You haven’t packed yet.”


Jisung tried to “cute” his way out of the situation, offering her his biggest smile. She wasn’t buying it, and he knew that; they’d been friends for too long for that to work anymore.

“Ji, we leave at six!” [name] scolded him.


“I know! I just... forgot,” Jisung mumbled, a pout coming over as he couldn’t look her in the eyes.


[name] tried to stifle her giggles but to no avail. “I’ll help you pack after I finish rewriting my notes for my Stats class.”

Jisung huffed. “The only woman who’s allowed to touch my drawers is my mother.”

[name] pulled a disgusted face before retorting, “Who said I was going to? Never mind then, you can pack by yourself, but, if you’re not packed by six, we’re leaving you.”

“I apologize for my impertinence, my queen.” Jisung quickly begged, “Please help my unworthy self pack my necessities.”


[name] shook her head, the smile tugging at her lips. “You’re so dramatic. Just let me finish first.”

Jisung was pleased with himself. One of the favorite parts of his day was being able to make her laugh. Laying his head as comfortably as he could back on his notebook, he tried to fall asleep to the soft jazz music that Felix always played. He couldn’t fall asleep though. Jisung blamed it on the caffeine now in his system, but he kept staring at the way that [name] was so focused on her notes, her skin glowing like glow under the bright sun.

ii.

Jisung knew he was pushing Chan’s buttons when he kept asking how much further the older boy had to drive, but he never anticipated that his punishment would be gathering all of the wood for their bonfire by himself. With a huff, he walked back to their campsite for the fifth time with his newest bundle of sticks.

“Is this enough?” Jisung growled, throwing the sticks down in front of Chan.


The older boy was sitting on a log, drinking a water bottle, as Changbin, Lia, and [name] finished setting up the second tent. Chan clicked his tongue. “You know, Jisung, I think you need like five more.”

Jisung glared at Chan which only caused him to laugh.

“Relax, Jisung, this is great,” Chan promised. “In fact, we might have too many.”


Jisung flipped a switch somewhere inside of him. Taking a seat next to Chan, he gloated, “Yeah, well, never underestimate us Han’s stick gathering skills.”

“Wow, you’re really scrapping the bottom of the barrel,” Changbin snorted, walking over with the two girls of their group. “With that kind of ego, I’ms surprised he hasn’t suffocated us all.”


“Don’t be mean,” Lia warned although she was laughing. “He’s just serving his punishment.”


“You guys are cruel!” Jisung cried out. “Can we just make s’mores now?”


“Do you know how to make a fire, Ji?” [name] taunted, crossing her arms over her chest. 


Jisung pouted. “It can’t be that hard.”

Chan sighed, rising from his seat on the wooden log. “You guys can go explore. I’ll start the fire and start dinner too.”

Jisung immediately cheered, jumping up to grab [name] by her hand and running into the woods. He didn’t care about the fact that they had left Lia and Woojin; he didn’t care about the fact that he had to dodge the branches that blocked his route. He had one goal, and that was to go back to the same river that they visited on their annual camping trip. 

Coming to a stop at the clearing, the two arrived side-by-side, fingers locked in a bond that could never be broken. The rock that they stood upon stood feet above a deep crevice in the river. The deep blue of the waters called out to them, the same rope they used to jump in hanging from a tree.

“We’re back!” Jisung shouted into the open air, earning a laugh from the girl beside him.

“Well, let’s go,” [name] urged. With a jump, she latched onto the rope and released herself into the river like a cannonball. 

Jisung released a low whistle. With a shake of his head, he smirked before following her example. The old rope groaned under the weight but faithfully stayed intact while Jisung threw himself. He could hear [name]’s cheering as he plunged into the waters. The shock of the cold hit him, and he desperately swam upwards. When he resurfaced, [name] was laughing. He shook his hair out, splashing droplets of water everywhere around him.

[name] was swimming around in the water, checking over her shoulder to see where Jisung was. The boy let out a hearty yell.

“Could’ve told me it was cold,” Jisung laughed. 

He could hear [name]’s giggles as she reached the shore closest to her. Jisung followed shortly after. When Jisung arrived at the small plateau [name] was sitting on, she took the opportunity to splash his face with water. Jisung retaliated with a shake of his head, earning a squeal from the girl. Hoisting himself up, he positioned himself on [name]’s left. He could feel almost feel her shivering. Their feet and knees dangled in the cold water.

The girl let out a soft scoff. “You think Changbin and Lia are going to be bitter that we left them?”

Jisung pondered for a moment before ultimately shaking his head. “Nah, they’ll be fine.” He nudged her left shoulder with his right, his countenance donning a playful smirk. “Besides, we’re best friends. We do stuff like this all the time.”

[name] returned the smile and the nudge. “You’re right. Which is rare.”

“Hey!”


While their laughter died out in the spacious woods, they sat comfortably in the silence that followed. Jisung kicked his legs under the water lightly until [name] gently rested her head on his available shoulder.

The action wasn’t anything new; they’d fallen asleep in that position multiple times. It was comfortable. It was home. Still, Jisung couldn’t help but acknowledge that it felt different this time. He was scared by the sudden thump in his chest, one so hard that he thought he was having a heart attack, but he was more scared that she had heard it.

It didn’t seem like she did.

“Jisung,” she started softly, her voice barely above a whisper.


He hummed in response, resting his head against hers. 

“You know I want to tell you everything, right?” She left the question hanging in the air.


He didn’t like where this was going. “Yeah, of course. I want to tell you everything too... but I also understand that there are some things even best friends can’t talk about.”

He could picture her smile as she adjusted her head ever so slightly. “I’m glad you understand.” She let out a laugh, burying her face further into Jisung’s neck. Her hair tickled him. “We really just jumped into the lake with all of our clothes on.” 

Jisung could feel his body shake with laughter (or was that the hypothermia setting in?). “Yeah, we did. We should probably go back and warm up before we die.”

[name] hummed. “In just a minute. We just got here. We might as well enjoy the view for a little while longer.”

Jisung made no movement to get up. If he was being honest, he was freezing, but the slight sun that peaked through the trees and [name]’s faint body heat were enough for him. As long as he was able to stay in that time in that place with her, he’d suffer anything. 

When the drowsiness started settling in, Jisung knew it was time to go. Gently stirring a half-asleep [name] awake, Jisung rose to his feet. As [name] was still adjusting to being awake once more, Jisung slowly led her back to the campsite. She took slow steps behind him, loosely holding onto the back of his shirt while Jisung led the way.

By the time they had returned from the woods to the campsite, Chan, Changbin, and Lia had already made dinner. Jisung was excited to say the least. [name] even perked up at the smell of food.

As they all sat down around around their campfire together, Jisung felt the warmth and comfort that he could only feel with his friends. Seeing all of their smiles together made the stars above them look insignificant. He wished the nights like these would continue.

“He did?!” Lia’s shrill shriek of delight cut into Jisung’s nostalgic episode. His attention was now completely captured by Lia’s joyful giggles and [name]’s failed attempts to quiet her.


“Lia!” [name] whispered harshly. She offered the three boys a sheepish smile before turning her attention back to her friend.


“Oh my gosh, this is amazing,” Lia gushed, clapping her hands together excitedly. “So, did you say yes?”


“Lia, we’ll talk about this later,” [name] answered, eyeing the boys one last time.


“I’m guessing we’re not allowed to know about this?” Chan chuckled, motioning to Changbin and Jisung.


Lia clicked her tongue, wagging her index finger at them. “This is top secret girl talk!” The smirk never left her face as she turned back to face [name] next to her. “I’m getting every single detail.”

“Alright, alright,” [name] sighed. She glanced around, anywhere other than the boys’ faces. Her eyes lit up; she must’ve thought of an idea that would change the subject. “S’mores?”


It worked for Chan and Changbin who immediately erupted in cheers. Lia was still giggling to herself as the four started unpacking the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers.

“Oh, the roasting sticks are still in the car,” Chan recalled. “Rock, paper, scissors?”


“I’ll just get them,” Jisung volunteered.


He wasn’t planning on taking no for an answer, having already risen from his seat to grab Chan’s keys and walk over. He could feel his feet and his heart dragging with every step that he took further away from his friends.

For the second time that day, he felt disconnected from [name]. The thought alone pulled at his heart. He felt a lump in his throat, thinking about Lia’s comments. If his suspicions were correct...

This would be the first time in Jisung’s life where he wouldn’t be a part of [name]’s.

iii.

“Guys, did you hear? Someone’s dating Jeno!”

“Who managed to get Jeno’s attention?”

“Is Jeno the soccer player? He’s cute.”


No matter where he went on campus, Jisung could hear that stupid name. Over and over again, girls gushed over him like a broken record. It was possibly the most irritating thing he had ever encountered.

Especially because of the girl dating Jeno.

Jisung was making his Friday walk to the Math and Science Complex to pick [name] up when he heard the campus’s gossip even through his headphones. In fact, he had been listening to it for the past week. It was the most excruciating week of his college career.

When he reached the Math and Science Complex, he didn’t see [name] at first. Genuinely taken aback, his mind immediately went to the worst case scenario. What if she had gotten kidnapped? She would be so scared--

Nope, apparently, that was the second worst scenario. The first one was happening in front of him.

[name] walked out of the doors of the Math and Science Complex hand-in-hand with Jeno, star soccer player and one of the most wanted men on campus. She was smiling at some joke Jeno had probably said, not even paying attention to the stares the two of them earned. What hurt the most was the look that Jeno was giving her because it was the most conflicting thing Jisung had ever seen. Jeno looked at [name] as if she was the most precious person in his world, like he really cared about her. 

As [name]’s best friend, Jisung was supposed to be happy that someone loved his best friend almost as much as he did. Yet his heart was a mix of pain, rage, and misery.

Was this jealousy?

“Han Jisung!”


[name]’s voice was the only thing capable of snapping him out of his thoughts that quickly. Immediately finding her, Jisung felt his heart swell. He could feel his lips naturally curl into a smile as she waved at him from across the road, but it slowly left as she started walking to him with Jeno.

They ran across the road, [name] tugging a laughing Jeno along. She came to a stop in front of Jisung, giggling with Jeno. It stung even worse when Jeno put his arm around [name]’s shoulder.

“Jisung, this is Jeno,” [name] introduced. “Jeno, Jisung is my best friend.”


“Hey, man! Nice to meet you.” Dammit, he had good manners, but Jisung would rather die than admit that he thought Jeno had a pretty smile.


“Nice to meet you too,” Jisung forced out through his grinding teeth. He turned his attention to [name]. “You ready?”


Jeno looked at [name]. “Are you guys heading out somewhere?”

[name] laughed. “Oh, Jisung and I always study together on Fridays.”

“Sounds like fun,” Jeno chuckled, turning his gaze from [name] to Jisung. 

Jisung couldn’t detect sort of malignant intentions which only irritated him more. He felt his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach and his skin crawled.


Jeno placed a soft kiss on [name]’s forehead. “I’ll see you after practice.”

[name] agreed, watching Jeno run off after the people whom Jisung assumed were his teammates. With a content sigh, she turned back in Jisung’s direction and started walking. She didn’t even check to see if Jisung was following her, what a terrible friend.

Jisung was most definitely pouting as much as he tried to deny it.

“Going on a date?” Jisung pondered, unable to look in her direction.


“Yep,” [name] informed him, “we’re going to get dinner and go bowling. Doesn’t it sound fun?”


Jisung scoffed, “Not if he’s sweaty and gross. You sure you want to go out with that?”

[name] lightly smacked his right arm. “He’s gonna take a shower, dumb-dumb.”

Jisung puffed his lips forward. Unfortunately, he was still walking loyally at her left side as there wasn’t a knife in his heart.

“Speaking of which...” [name] trailed off, holding her arms behind her back. She slowly looked into Jisung’s eyes. “Could you help me get ready?”


He was torn between pride and disappointment, but he wasn’t about to show the latter (more than he already had). 

“You value my opinion that much? I’m honored,” Jisung returned with a grand bow.


At the very least, she laughed. “Lia’s busy. But, yes, I do value your opinion too.” She playfully bumped his side with her own. “They say the second date is just as important as the first, if not more.”

Jisung watched as her smile slowly disappeared from her face. He could only sigh as he realized his status. “Nervous?”

“More than I’d like to admit,” [name] confessed.


Jisung swallowed his jealousy only because she needed him. He wanted nothing more than to wipe that sad expression off of her face and replace with a smile.

“My little baby’s all grown up,” Jisung cried dramatically, wiping away fake tears with the sleeve of his shirt. His actions earned a smack from the girl, but it also rewarded him with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. He definitely likes you.”


“How can you tell? You met him five minutes ago,” [name] argued, kicking her feet against the gravel they were walking on.


“Guys can tell,” Jisung replied with a cheeky grin. “We can tell because of the way we look at someone we love. And I saw the way he looked at you. I’m not saying he loves you, but he definitely likes you. So, don’t worry, and just be your usual sunflower self.”


She thanked him quietly, and, for a while, they walked in silence. This time, they walked back to [name]’s dorm in order for her to get ready for her date. But during the time that they were walking, Jisung realized that he was actually the sunflower and that his sun was slowly leaving him. 

In the two hours that passed, he found himself helping her pick her outfit, fix up her hair, and even doll herself up in makeup. When she told him to wait outside for her, he listened with only a single, drawn-out complaint. Then, she came outside, and everything made sense.

He waited outside her dorm, his back leaning against the wall. He heard the door before anything, and, as she stepped outside, Jisung felt his whole world fall into place. She looked beautiful, the way her shy smile only got bigger as he was at a loss for words. She went to bite her bottom lip, averting her gaze to the ground.

“Does it look okay?” she asked softly.


Jisung couldn’t even speak at first. He wanted to memorize the way she looked and tattoo it on him somewhere. Maybe that was an exaggeration, maybe it wasn’t.

“Pretty...” He hadn’t even used his vocal cords, so, when [name] clearly didn’t hear him, he cleared his throat. “I said--”


“You’re beautiful.”


The unwanted voice destroyed Jisung’s fantasy as he turned to see Jeno walking up to them.

“You think?” [name] asked with a small giggle.

He revealed a bouquet of [favorite flowers] from behind his back, earning a small gasp from [name] and an eye roll from Jisung. If he really liked [name], he would’ve known to get her a stuffed [favorite animal]. Flowers just end up dying anyway; what a way to be dramatic.

“They’re beautiful,” [name] murmured, accepting the flowers into her hands. Looking at Jeno, she smiled. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” Jeno replied. He turned to Jisung this time. “I’ll have her back before midnight.”

Jisung merely nodded with a short “see you” to [name] before the two left him behind. He watched as they walked away, their back turned to him, Jeno on [name]’s left side where Jisung used to be. He felt his heart crack when Jeno laced their fingers together and [name] smiled at him.

That should’ve been him.

The thought lingered in his mind until it slowly made its way into his heart. It thumped--one beat, two beat--and he realized the truth, the reason his heart ached.

A lump formed in his throat as he kicked the concrete below his feet, dragging himself all the way back to his dorm. He tried to deny the tears that threatened to spill, but the thought of [name] laughing because of someone that wasn’t him caused a singular tear to drop.

He loved her.

He always had.

He just didn’t know.

And now, she was falling in love with someone else, someone that wasn’t him.

iv.

In the month that followed, Jisung slowly drifted away from [name]. He knew what he was doing, but he needed the time to heal even if that meant hurting the person he cared about the most. Their Friday study sessions were overrun with dates with Jeno, and Jisung had found excuses not to pick her up after her classes. His role was slowly being filled by Jeno anyway.

Chan and Changbin had tried to talk to Jisung about it multiple times, telling Jisung that [name] had asked why he wasn’t responding to her texts. He merely brushed the topic off, returning to the book he had been pretending to read. Lia would walk by with [name], calling his name, but Jisung pretended he couldn’t hear the two with his headphones on.

It was childish if he was being honest, but he needed it. It was time for him to move on.

That was how he ended up going to a mixer with Minho on a Thursday night. If he was being honest, he wasn’t paying attention to what the two girls in front of him were gushing about. His mind was too preoccupied with [name].

She was at one of Jeno’s soccer games, probably wearing his number and cheering him on. He imagined her laughing, shouting, and having fun... without him. She probably looked cute, jumping around excited whenever Jeno had the ball. She probably sat right in the front to get the best kind of view but ended up regretting it because of the die-hard soccer fans sitting behind her.

“Ji.”

The familiar nickname interrupted his train of thought as he looked up with interest for the first time that night. It was the girl in front him. She was definitely pretty, but, to Jisung, not as pretty as [name]--and he didn’t like her saying that nickname.

“I’d prefer if you called me Jisung,” he tried to say as politely as possible. 

His expression must have been a little too serious as the girls in front of him slowly leaned back. Minho elbowed Jisung’s left side lightly, causing Jisung to take of a sip of drink.

He had been spacing out all night. He really shouldn’t have been there, but this was the only way for him to move on. The restaurant’s white noise was his only relief.

“Jisung, let’s talk outside for a bit.” Minho wasn’t asking.

Jisung complied, following the older male to the darkening outside. The sun had already set. The game must have almost been over. He wondered if they were winning and she was happy.

“Dude, just go tell her,” Minho told him, leaning against the stone of the restaurant.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Minho scoffed. “You know I’m talking about [name].”

Jisung swallowed whatever was in his throat. He couldn’t tell if it was anger or fear or both. Whatever the case, the look on Minho’s face was enough for him to tell the truth. There was no point in lying to Minho--he’d pick it out in a second.

“She has a boyfriend,” Jisung answered in a low voice.

“Not that I’m supporting home-wrecking, but, if you like her, you need to tell her. [name] will do what she wants with that information, but it’s literally killing you, man. At the very least, this is for yourself to move on.”

In some sort of twisted way, Jisung could see Minho’s logic. He didn’t want to disturb the happiness [name] had found, but there would be no other way for him to move on. Nothing else was working

“But we’re here right now,” Jisung argued, trying to find some sort of desperate way out of the situation he was finding himself in.

Minho laughed. “Trust me, they won’t miss you.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I just need to grab my car, and we can head over to the soccer field.”

When they walked back inside, Jisung followed Minho silently. He gave a quick nod to the party they were leaving before climbing into Minho’s car. They weren’t too far from the soccer field, but Jisung felt like time couldn’t move slower.

Was he actually about to confess to his best friend at her boyfriend’s soccer game?

It sounded ridiculous in his thoughts, but it was happening in his reality. He could hear the cheers from the stands as Minho pulled into the parking lot beside the field. He could hear his heart beating out of his chest as he walked up to the stands. He could hear it drop when he saw the middle of the field.

The score was only 1-0 for SKU, but the field had gotten too heated. The other team’s players had started a fight in the middle of the field. Benched teammates started running towards the center where Jeno was being held back by four of his teammates. The other team’s number 11 was also being restrained but not quite as well. 

There, in between Jeno and number 11, for whatever bizarre reason she would explain to him later, was [name]. She looked so small among the giant soccer players, desperately trying to calm her boyfriend down.

And that’s when Jisung started running towards her.

Multiple smaller fights had broken out in the circle that had formed, and [name] was at the heart of everything.

Oh, he was definitely going to yell at her for that later, but his priority was to get her safe first before--

“You’re 32′s girl?”

Jisung was just close enough to hear the question but not close enough yet to reach her. Jeno’s number that she had worn so proudly now became a target. The next thing he heard was her scream, and that was all he needed.

He broke through the middle of the crowd where he saw [name] on the ground, terrified with a giant soccer player towering over her. She was flinching as he yelled horrible insults at her, her boyfriend, and her school.

Where was Jeno?

Jisung didn’t really care about the whereabouts of Jeno, but he did care about [name]’s safety. He ran to her, pushing past the guy who was scaring her to help her stand. He was fully prepared to fight the man who had touched his best friend, but the moment she grabbed his shirt, he knew whom he needed to prioritize.

“Ji...!” Her voice was hoarse, and it broke his heart.

He hushed her gently, reassuring her that he was here, helping her rise to her feet. Jisung sent the man one last glare before pushing past him once more. He didn’t pay attention to the shouts of anger as campus security ended up stepping in and calming the situation. The only person he cared about was the girl who was sobbing into his side as he held her close.

He managed to walk her to a quiet, secluded park before she collapsed on a bench. Her quiet sobs turned into wails as she gripped onto his shirt like a lifeline.

Rebuking her would have to come later as angry as he was.

“You’re okay, [name],” Jisung whispered softly. He pulled her closer to him, holding her like the porcelain he knew she was. “I’m here. Everything’s going to be okay.”

He repeated like a mantra until she quieted down. He traced shapes with his fingers along her back as she let out choked hiccups.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, slightly pulling himself away to properly look at her face.

Even under an old lamppost, even with puffy cheeks from crying, even though he couldn’t tell what was snot and what was tears, she was still the most beautiful girl in the world to him. The last one made him chuckle.

“No,” she answered. Her voice was hoarse from crying. “...but I want a tissue.”

Jisung laughed softly. “Here, just use my shirt.”

[name] shook her head. “No, I’m gross.”

“Just let me.”

He gently took his long sleeve (he was so glad he had decided to wear a button down shirt and look somewhat nice for the mixer) and wiped away the combination of liquids on her face. She shut her eyes naturally, reminding Jisung that she really did trust him completely. It also reminded him of how much he had probably hurt her.

“I needed to wash this shirt anyway,” Jisung explained with a shrug.

[name] sniffled, opening her eyes slowly. She turned to face forward, her arms still shaking from the experience she had just had. Jisung didn’t mention the lack of Jeno in that moment. The pained expression on her face indicated that she had probably already thought about it. In the silence, they sat under the stars. For a while, neither of the two moved until [name] gently laid her head Jisung’s shoulder.

The action, despite its old frequency, surprised Jisung, but he didn’t move. They sat in the comfortable silence, in the other’s company. It felt different than normal, but it felt right.

v.

Despite the new level of intimacy they had experienced the night before, Jisung and [name] still treated each other like strangers the next day. They had only passed by each other once, but they refused to look at the other. Jisung only glanced back at her as she walked between Lia and Jeno to a place where he wasn’t.

At the end of his last class, Jisung turned to go to Chan’s apartment instead of the Math and Science Complex. He walked slower than usual, enjoying the sun on his face. The music from his headphones drummed into his ears as he came to an intersection in the road. He couldn’t quite explain it--he blamed it on his lack of sleep from the night before--but he chose to take the right to Felix’s.

Upon arrival, he was greeted by a confused Felix.

“Where’s [name] at?” the bartista wondered aloud, checking behind Jisung to see if she was just running late.

“She’s got plans with Lia or something,” Jisung lied. “I’ll just take an iced americano.”

“Actually, Lia cancelled on me. I’ll have the Lix specialty.”

He recognized her voice, but he didn’t believe it was her. Jisung turned around to see a smiling but clearly winded [name]. Walking up to the counter, she handed Felix her credit card.

“On me today,” she said to Felix while looking at Jisung.

“You got it,” Felix said before he turned to make their drinks.

[name] cleared her throat, avoiding direct eye contact with Jisung now that her dramatic entrance had lost its effect. “Can we talk?”

Jisung didn’t want to say yes. He could’ve walked out even without his coffee, but he knew he wouldn’t. He really was wrapped around her finger.

“Yeah,” was his reply as Felix place their drinks on the counter in front of them.

The two walked to the table they had sat at weeks earlier, the table still empty and waiting for their return. They sat at the same spots, but instead of [name] working and Jisung sleeping, they faced each other, too scared to say anything.

“Thank you for what you did yesterday,” [name] began. “I don’t think I ever properly thanked you.”

“No problem,” Jisung answered before he brought the straw of his drink to his mouth. Was the taste more bitter than usual?

[name] sipped her own drink. They were both trying to decide what to say until [name] finally just snapped.

“I broke up with Jeno today.”

Jisung nearly choked on his drink. “What?”

“I broke up with Jeno today,” [name] repeated slowly, a nod with every pause.

“Okay, smartypants, why?”

[name] pursed her lips, taking another sip of her drink as an escape. After a moment, she softly mumbled, “Because... he helped me realize something.”

Jisung didn’t need to ask what; he knew she’d get there eventually. Instead, he let the soft cafe music encourage her to continue.

“He’d always had some sort of jealousy because of you, but, today, I realized that he wasn’t jealous because of how close we are,” [name] continued. She wouldn’t look him in the eye; her fingers fiddled with the plastic cup on the table in front of her. “He was jealous because he could tell that I, um... well, I like you.”

In the moment she had said that, Jisung felt like he was going to throw up--but in a good way. All the nerves in his body switched between relaxed and tense, but mostly tense. He could feel heat not only rise to his cheeks but also to every limb in his body. He was sure that, if he hadn’t been sitting, he might’ve fallen to the ground.

Yet everything finally felt right.

“That might be really weird coming from your best friend because I know we have this unspoken rule not to fall in love, but I didn’t realize it either until today when Jeno and I got into a fight,” [name] hurriedly explained, waving her hands around uselessly as some sort of explanation.

The smile on Jisung’s face spread as he leaned over the table to kiss her. It was soft and tasted like the bitter coffee he had just drunk, but it was worth everything that they had been through so far.

He pulled away for a second, revealing a cute [name] with her eyes still closed from the kiss, and he placed another one on her forehead.

“I like you too.”

It was [name]’s turn to be shocked as she slowly parted her lips in some attempt to say something back. She couldn’t think of anything, but the smile that tugged at her cheeks said that all that she needed to.

[straykidsramblings]

What if i told you i cried bc of what if? ❤️

I would tell you that I’m sorry, that not my intention, I hope they were happy tears, and I’m also sorry because I wanted to make it longer but I wasn’t sure how.

[straykidsramblings]

supermarket flowers. [what if]

seo changbin x fem!reader | alternative ending to supermarket flowers.

word count: 1716 words

genre: fluff, soft angst

summary: angels wear white.

Standing in front of a crowd of people that had all of their eyes on him was not what made Changbin nervous. The people who slowly walked in pairs down the aisle covered in a blanket of snow was not what made Changbin nervous. The quiet pause of the acoustic guitar that caused everyone in the room to stand up like a chain reaction was not what made Changbin nervous.

Felix stood at his left, smiling to himself as he shifted his stance. He nudged his friend’s arm lightly, earning a small jump from the man.

“Cold feet?”

Changbin scoffed, his nerves loosening ever so slightly at the childish provocation. “Never.”

Felix shrugged. “I can always take your place if you get scared.”

“In your dreams.”

The large brown doors standing across from Changbin at the end of the aisle cracked open. In the brilliant white light of the day, Changbin almost thought he had ascended into heaven.

That’s what she made him feel like every time she stepped into a room.

Felix cleared his throat one last time. “If you hurt her...” He didn’t have to finish his sentence.

Changbin couldn’t tear his eyes away from the door that slowly revealed the love of his life.

“I’ll accept any punishment that God sees fit,” Changbin promised, taking a sharp inhale. “Now, be quiet. You’re ruining her moment.”

The doors fully opened themselves, showcasing [name] [last name] in her full beauty, brilliantly dressed in white. In that moment, it was just the two of them. Hyunjin wasn’t by [name]’s side to walk her down the aisle; Felix wasn’t shuffling back to his place next to the other groomsmen. When Changbin finally met [name]’s [eye color] eyes, it felt like the moment when they had first met.

She truly resembled an angel in that moment, then and now.

[name] tried to suppress her smile as she clutched Hyunjin’s arm. As everyone’s eyes landed on her and the women in the crowd tried their best to quietly whisper about her appearance, the music picked up. Changbin felt the tears well in his eyes as he watched her take slow steps towards him. 

After all of this time, she was about to become his for the rest of eternity. He was the one who would bring her happiness, the same kind of life-saving happiness that she gave him however many years ago.

The walk was tantalizingly slow, and, even as the hot tears silently cascaded down his cheeks, he couldn’t look away.

Happiness was finally within his grasp, and her name was about to be [name] Seo.

Hyunjin came to a stop before the officiant. Planting a soft kiss on [name]’s cheek, he gave her hand one last reassuring squeeze before walking to his rightful place as best man. The bride handed her [favorite flower] bouquet to her maid of honor, sharing a knowing smile between the two of them.

Changbin extended a hand to her which she graciously accepted. Stepping into her place across from him, [name] smiled softly. She brought her hand to his cheek and wiped away his tears. She may have laughed at him, but her own [eye color] eyes struggled to contain the teardrops of joy that threatened to spill.

Changbin held her hands in his own. Bringing them quickly to his lips, he kissed them softly, not caring about the hushed cooing from the crowd.

“I was made for loving you,” Changbin whispered to her.

In that moment, while she was in his hands, Changbin truly felt that all of the suffering of his life had been worth it. 

As long as she was his.

[name] threw her head back as she laughed, squeezing his hands a little tighter. “Vows come later, Bin.”

He smiled back at her before nodding to the officiant to let him proceed.

“Dearly beloved...”

Changbin couldn’t believe his eyes or his ears. The world was disappearing around him, the same way that it did when the two of them first met. Here she was, standing in front him, holding his hands gently, staring at him with beautiful [eye color] eyes soaked with tears. 

She truly was the love of his life.

He knew he should’ve been paying more attention, but he couldn’t stop trying to make her laugh. It seemed she knew him too well because she narrowed her eyes at him whenever he began to goof off. The ghost of a smile on her lips betrayed her as she bit her bottom lip. Changbin reciprocated the action, attempting to suppress any giggles of his that might ruin the ceremony. She’d be angry.

“The couple has prepared their own vows,” the officiant announced, glancing between the two. “Shall we begin with the gentleman?”

Changbin cleared his throat. He was about to reach for the notecard with his vow in his pocket, but he decided he didn’t need it. Having [name] standing in front of him in that beautiful white dress reminded him of all the words he needed.

He rubbed the outside of her hands gently with his thumb. A part of it was to reassure himself in front of the crowd that watched him intently. Seeing her reassuring smile was the small push he needed to move forward, and he knew that she would always be there for him.

“My sweet, beautiful angel,” he began. “When you graced me with your presence eight years ago, I honestly did not believe that this day would ever come. Eight years ago, you appeared to me, drowned in the lights of the city, and I sincerely thought I had entered heaven. Eight years ago, you saved a lonely boy who didn’t believe in the love of humanity. Eight years ago, you proved that boy wrong and inspired him to become the man that he is today. [name]... you truly are the reason I am alive today. You gave me love. You gave me hope. You gave me a home. I believe with all of my heart that you are my purpose for this life. I was made for loving you, and I promise to fulfill my duty as your husband for the rest of my life... as long as you’ll have me.”

The smirk on his face and the wink he sent to [name] had the crowd chuckling, and [name] threw her head back in laughter. Even Changbin’s flirtatious humor couldn’t stop two stray tears fall down her cheeks. Looking at the love of his life, Changbin slowly brought his hands to her cheeks, brushing away the tears with his thumbs.

[name] pursed her lips, sniffling before trying to recite her vow. She struggled, sniffling once more as a playful pout decorated her beautiful countenance. She hiccuped, “You’re supposed to be the crybaby out of the two of us.”

The people laughed again, and Changbin laughed with them, remembering all of the times that he had cried during their movie nights and even while just listening to music together. Taking a deep breath, [name] restarted.

“Changbin,” she said with a small laugh. “When we first met, you filled this hole in my heart that I never fully realized I had. The first time we touched, I felt something more than the typical movie sparks. It felt like I had finally come home. I knew, in that moment, that we were destined to be something. You’ve stood beside me through everything since the first day we met, even on days when I thought you would leave me. Now, I face the future, unsure of what it may hold, but confident that we are in this together. Changbin, you truly were nothing less than a gift to me back then, and you are nothing short of a miracle to me right now. I love you with all of my heart, and I promise to keep loving you from here on out now officially as your wife.”

Changbin swallowed the lump that had formed in this throat. “I love you too.”

The following words from the officiant flew over Changbin’s head as he stared deeply into his lover’s eyes. The next thing he registered was a small tug on his suit jacket and the laughter of the crowd. Changbin finally let go of the hands that he was planning on holding onto for the rest of his life.

“The rings, sir,” the officiant snickered.

Changbin grinned, thanking the young ring-bearer for his service as he took the wedding ring he had picked. He ruffled the top of the boy’s hair. “Thanks, bud.”

[name] let out a lighthearted scoff at Changbin’s actions, causing the boy to raise a brow.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Seo. I was distracted by your beauty.”

[name] held up the ring for Changbin. “I’m not Mrs. Seo just yet,” she teased.

Changbin snickered, his nose wrinkling as a small sign of amusement, but slid the ring on [name]’s finger without another word. [name] mimicked his actions shortly afterwards, sliding the ring up on Changbin’s left hand’s fourth finger. The next words were words that Changbin never wanted to forget.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

That was all he needed. 

In one fell swoop, he stepped closer to her and captured her lips with his own. The crowd was cheering and clapping, but all that mattered to him was the way that their lips melded together like two were missing pieces of a puzzle that finally found each other.

If he was being honest, every kiss with her was like that.

He loved it.

Finally pulling away to look into her eyes, Changbin whispered under the hooting and hollering of the crowd, “I’ve been dying to do that.”

Expecting a retort, Changbin could only smile when she whispered back, “Me too.”

Filled with joy, Changbin lifted [name] off of her feet, causing both the crowd and the bride to burst out into laughter. [name] threw her arms around his neck, holding onto him as he walked down the white aisle. With the people throwing [favorite flower] petals at the two of them, it truly did seem like too good of a happy ending for Changbin, but he was so grateful.

“She’s all mine!”

[straykidsramblings]

stray kids as ed sheeran lyrics.

[credit to original owners for gifs!]

“and all of the voices surrounding us here, they just fade out when you take a breath,” - Bang Chan, Tenerife Sea

“and if you’re broken, i will mend ya, and keep you sheltered from the storm that’s raging on now,” - Kim Woojin, Lego House

“she’ll make me shiver without warning, and make me laugh as if i’m in on the joke,” - Lee Minho, Cold Coffee

“i hope that i see the world as you did cause i know a life with love is a life that’s been lived,” - Seo Changbin, Supermarket Flowers

“and you will never know just how beautiful you are to me... maybe i fell in love when you woke me up,” - Hwang Hyunjin, Wake Me Up

“i could try to smile and hide the truth, but i know i was happier with you,” - Han Jisung, Happier

“i fell in love with the sparkle in the moonlight reflected in your beautiful eyes, i guess that is destiny doing it right,” - Lee Felix, Barcelona

“Oh you can fit me inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen, next to your heartbeat where i should be,” - Kim Seungmin, Photograph

“i could look into your eyes until the sun comes up, and we’re wrapped in light, in life, in love,” - Yang Jeongin, Afire Love

[straykidsramblings]

how stray kids say “i love you”.

[based on “one hundred ways to say i love you”; gifs belong to their owners!]

nb: I have a “little” writing project in the works and I’m hoping to make good progress on that soon, so, for now, please accept these headcanons.

Bang Chan: “It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

I feel like we could see this coming from a mile away tbh

But seriously, Chan is usually producing or working on something, but he constantly reminds you that he’s always available to you if you ever want to talk or, if he can, meet up. gosh, whatta workaholic.

He knows he’s really busy so he wants to be there for you as much as he can even if it’s only over the phone, especially because you’re always there for him and supporting him.

Even if it’s when he’s sleeping, he won’t mind you calling him. He’ll pick up the phone and talk as long as you want. He will never make you feel like a burden, and he never wants you to feel troubled bc he a busy bee.

Woojin: “You didn’t have to ask.”

Ngl, this one was weirdly more difficult to choose but I ended up with this one largely for two reasons.

One: Woojin is really observant about things to the point where you two can communicate without words.

Two: Woojin also has a really good memory so he remembers your habits when you’re about to do something or want something, and he remembers what you like in general.

He’s more than willing to do whatever you want or get whatever you want, but please pay with chicken kisses. 

Minho: “Can I kiss you?” [+ “I love you.”]

Lee Minho is a shy and awkward babyboy who has trouble speaking in front of crowds and making friends; in this essay i will--

seriously, though, this little bias wrecker probably has trouble expressing exactly how he feels sometimes so he ends up either showing it through his actions or being super direct.

He knows he loves you and he either tells you that directly or in his kiss, but he always asks before he goes to kiss you. It’s out of respect for your privacy and consent, but sometimes he wishes he could surprise you with a kiss. Just out the blue.

It’s the worst when you’re concentrating on something, and he’s just kinda staring at you with this adoring look until you finally look up and there’s just this pause before “...can I kiss you?” *cue me, screaming*

Changbin: “I’ll walk you home.”

um i’m kinda soft for tough!changbin but I also know he’s babyboy pt.2

anyway, when he’s not being super soft and cute, he actually is a pretty protective boyfriend, and it’s partially due to the fact that he has a sister, loves his momma, and his dad taught him to protect them.

If he can, he will always take or walk you home, especially if you live in the city. Even if he knows you don’t really need it whether that’s because it’s only a block away or because you are fully capable of taking care of yourself, he walks you to your door to make sure you get in safe.

Also loves the little thank you kiss (read as: kisses) he gets, ngl

Hyunjin: “I brought you an umbrella.”

mayhaps i partially chose this because of this exact segment on weekly idol BUT that’s also just who Hyunjin is; tbh i wanted the other gif of him with the umbrella with his little eye smile but i couldn’t find it

he’s 100% willing and wanting to go out of his way if it makes a part of your life a little bit easier, so it’s more like the umbrella thing is more of an example of what he does to show he loves you. 

he does the same with bringing you lunch or coffee or really just anything that you may need in your day and he (usually) shows up with perfect timing, it’s kinda creepy sometimes but he has good intentions

but it also just shows that he’s thinking about you constantly and he wants to help make your life easier.

Jisung: “I want you to be happy.”

i usually avoid gifs with words on it but this one kinda actually works?

okay, we all know that our little goofball is always making people laugh and wanting them to enjoy themselves especially when they’re not exactly having a great day, but it goes beyond that

Jisung knows what it’s like to really be struggling with something, so he wants to be able to help you anyway he can. He doesn’t joke around when it comes to something serious, and he proves that to you.

There are multiple ways to make people happy, and Jisung wants to make you happy any way that he can whether that is just making you laugh or having deep conversations at 3 a.m.

Felix: “That’s okay, I bought two.”

yes. you would be correct. This is largely because of what he puilled on Hyunjin at the airport and Hyunjin was like “it was so cool, like a drama!” but there wasn’t one that expressed exactly what I wanted

to explain, Felix loves being your first for things. It’s his cute way of being involved in your life and making important memories with you that you’ll remember for a long time.

so, if he finds out that you’ve never gotten something, he’ll try to be all suave and cool about it and get it for you without you noticing until BAM he pulls out this line like a tsundere male lead in a romcom kdrama

it’s the same thing with places. you’ve never been to a certain restaurant? he makes a reservation. you’ve never ridden on a train? he buys tickets.

Seungmin: “I was just thinking about you.” 

Seungmin is a man of few words because I feel like he’s just a thinking type, but he’s soft and cute to you

this’ll be his way of saying i love you after he first realizes he does. you’ll be meeting up for a date or something and he’ll see you in the distance looking all pretty and cute and he’ll just think “wow i am in love”

but he pretends like he didn’t notice you a while ago and you’ll finally find him in the cafe y’all were meeting at all out a breath because you ran to get there and he thinks you’re so cute so he just says that

he keeps saying that instead of “i love you”, even if you two are just cuddling on the couch and you ask what he’s thinking about cause he’s so quiet, until you finally realize and respond “I love you too”

side note: wow Princess Bride feels and I didn’t even think about it

Jeongin: “It’s not heavy. I’m stronger than I look.”

ah, yes. the maknae. I feel like he’s more baby to me than others because he’s younger than me, so I might a bit biased about his?

anyway, Jeongin recognizes that he’s babied by the other members and other people, and while he appreciates it, he also feels like he needs to prove himself a lot because of that.

so one way that he ends up doing that is by treating you like royalty tbh. his baby is not going to lift a box or open any doors (except the fridge door. he tried one day and you insisted that no, he would not)

He knows that you can take care of yourself, but he just wants to prove that he can be helpful to people too instead of relying on others all of that time. It can be a little tiresome, but it’s kinda sweet and he means well. 

[straykidsramblings]

helplessly. [yang jeongin]

yang jeongin x fem!reader feat. ‘00 line | high school!au

word count: 5.7K

genre: fluff

summary: Jisung is the worst person in the world to have find out about your crush, but, apparently, he’s also the best.

High school is infamous for being dramatic, tortuous, and a little bit crazy, but [name] [last name] was proud to say that her high school experience consisted solely of the last attribute. She had the '00 liners (as they so loved to call themselves that) to thank for that. At the very least, she was grateful that her life was never boring and that she always had Jeongin and Seungmin to keep her grounded. Unfortunately, it seemed as though the other three shared enough crazy to make up for Jeongin’s, Seungmin’s, and [name]’s rationality. Today, much like the rest, was full of events that [name] [last name] would have never expected to occur if she was not friends with one, Jisung Han.

The two of them were waiting for the other four in the room their photography club used, avoiding the ceaseless noise that the cafeteria offered. The six of them would always have lunch in their clubroom. Lunch, after all, was a meal best enjoyed in quiet. Unfortunately, Jisung had a knack for ruining that. This time alone, he had managed to scare [name] by throwing the door wide open and dashing inside. Her heart skipped a beat, but, after realizing that it was just Jisung, she resumed reading.

“So,” Jisung chirped, taking a seat on the desk in front of [name], “rumor has it that somebody has a little crush on someone else in our friend group.”

[name]’s head snapped up from her literature book, fully prepared to refute any rumor Jisung had crafted. The grip on her book tightened as she slowly met his gaze from her seat.

“Can you believe that someone broke our sacred policy of ‘no romance’?” Jisung scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest in fake disappointment.

“Jisung, I don’t know what kind of stories you’ve thought up, but do not think for a minute that I like one of you,” [name] assured him. She was lying through her teeth, but there was no reason to let Jisung know that.

Yet, somehow (probably because they’ve known each other the longest out of their friend group), he knew. He suddenly seemed even more intrigued in [name]’s facial expression. It was then that [name] knew that she had messed up.

“Oh,” he pondered, bringing his hand to his chin to stroke his nonexistent beard. “What is this, I sense? A sudden need to defend yourself even though I never said that you were the one with the crush?”

“Well… I am the only girl in our friend group,” [name] attempted to fix her rookie mistake. “It would make sense for rumors to say that I have the crush. If any even existed—Jisung, this is ridiculous!”

“Au contraire, my distressed friend!” Jisung clicked his tongue three times. “Boys have feelings too. It’s perfectly conceivable for one of us to have a crush.”

She knew that, but she needed a scape goat. It appeared as though her scapegoat had just jumped out of the window.

Before she could get another word in, the very source of her distress entered their clubroom. The light scent of cotton candy hit her nose as the youngest male in her friend group sat himself on the desk to [name]’s right. His brown eyes glanced between [name] and Jisung as if trying to decipher what they could have been talking about. [name] could already feel herself staring at him, Jeongin Yang. Simply his presence managed to distract her from any previous topic her mind was on.

“What’s going on?” Jeongin asked with an innocent smile that made [name]’s stomach do flips.

“Well, [name] here—“

“Was wondering if you all wanted to do something this weekend!” [name] interrupted Jisung. “Cause, you know, it’s been a while since we’ve done anything fun, and, with all of this stress from school, I think we deserve it.”

Jisung’s eyes widened as he slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together. As he looked between [name] and Jeongin, she knew he knew. She cursed herself mentally, but Jisung could be dealt with later. Jeongin was the person she needed to be careful around.

Jisung brought a hand up to his mouth, exaggerating the surprise on his face in an attempt to draw Jeongin’s curiosity. Thankfully, his efforts were in vain.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun,” Jeongin agreed, directing his smile to the girl in front of him. “What’d you have in mind, [name]?”

She tried to ignore the beating of her heart as she stammered. “I, uh, well…”

“She’s letting me, yours truly, handle it,” Jisung interjected as he jumped off of the desk with a flamboyant bow. “And I have many plans for us.”

[name]’s Jisung intuition was flaring; oh, that boy was most definitely up to something. The smirk he tried so hard to hide revealed all of his intentions. She shot him a warning look, but he chose to ignore it. His gaze was focused on Jeongin, searching for an answer of some sorts. However, Jeongin was smarter than Jisung gave him credit for. Well, that, and it was no secret that Jisung was the most mischievous crazy in the group.

“I don’t think [name] would actually let you plan our hangout considering the fact that, last time, she had to pick us up from jail,” Jeongin reminded the other two.

“It was only holding! And I still think visiting the swim club at night was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made,” Jisung defended himself, crossing his arms over his chest indignantly.

“You should consider yourself lucky that [name] had a girls’ night out and didn’t get dragged into your mess.”

“A mess that you went along with.”

“Okay, guys,” [name] interjected, knowing that, if she let them argue, they would continue for hours. “So, Saturday. Let’s say we meet up at the park by Seungmin’s apartment at… 9 tomorrow morning?”

Jeongin chuckled which only made her heart flutter. Even though she’s heard that sound so many times before, it still had such a powerful effect on her. She truly was helpless.

“You, Seungmin, and I will probably be fine, but do you really think the rest of them will willingly get up before 10?” Jeongin teased his older friends.

[name] pursed her lips. “Okay, so… we push it back to noon and get lunch first?”

“Sounds like a good start! I’ll take over from there,” Jisung insisted. “Maybe we can get pineapple on our pizza.”

The peculiar suggestion made both Jeongin and [name] raise an eyebrow but for different reasons.

Having been best friends longer than the rest, Jisung and [name] had crafted their own “secret language” as Jisung liked to call it. He prided himself in the fact that he had created most of it (which is probably why the words were quite strange and, well, extravagant, to say the least). But “pineapple on pizza” (as strange as it was) was their way of saying, “I have a plan!” This phrase was most commonly used when Jisung had come up with a prank or when they needed to come up with escape plans after the pranks failed and Seungmin was pissed. With this knowledge, [name] began to worry. She sighed, staring into Jisung’s eyes in an attempt to figure out what he was planning their day would look like. With the information he now had, she couldn’t trust him not to make some elaborate scheme that would end up with Jeongin avoiding her for the rest of their lives. But best friend code was best friend code, and best friend code trumped everything else.

“I don’t know about pineapple on pizza, but, if you’re not gonna get us killed or in jail, I guess I’ll let you decide what we’re doing,” [name] sighed unenthusiastically.

Jisung was unbothered. “Great!”

“What’s great?”

Seungmin’s voice from the doorway interrupted the flow of the conversation (much to [name]’s relief). Seungmin, Felix, and Hyunjin had all finally arrived, carrying lunch and snacks for everyone. Jisung almost knocked over a few desks in order to reach the three faster. [name] grimaced. She had been ruined the moment she had first replied to Jisung.

“Alright, spill,” Jeongin chuckled.

“Spill what?” [name] asked, turning her [eye color] gaze from the loud group of boys to the boy who made her heart beat so loud she was sure he could hear it.

Jeongin gave her a suspecting look. “I’m not that dumb, you know. You and Jisung are always planning pranks, so what’s going down on Saturday? Can I be a part of it for once? I promise I’ll keep it a secret.”

It was [name]’s turn to laugh (mostly from relief). “No, we’re not planning a prank for Saturday. We really just wanted to hang out.”

Jeongin didn’t buy it, and she knew that. He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring into her soul as if it was visible to him. [name] elected to avoid eye contact in case any nervousness surfaced on her countenance. She pretended to be heavily invested in whatever the group of four boys by the door were whispering about, but, in reality, she couldn’t stop thinking about how intensely Jeongin was looking at her. The fact that he had styled his hair differently today didn’t help her. Normally, he was just considered “the cute one” with his apple-like, refreshing innocence and cloud-like, soft bangs.

Well, today, Jeongin had decided to part his bangs to the side, revealing the forehead that [name] had no idea would affect her in such a way. Who knew a forehead could make a such difference?

Finally, Jeongin relented. He motioned for the other group of four to walk over with the food; [name] could finally breathe properly. With Jeongin’s attention diverted elsewhere, [name] chanced a glance at the taller boy. His smile was contagious, spreading to [name]’s own countenance. She wondered if he would ever smile like that for her.

Lunch flew by faster than [name] would have liked, but it was hard to keep track of time when the cute boy next to her was so distracting. Who could blame her? Hearing the sound of the bell signaling the beginning of their next class, the club members swiftly cleaned up any major crumbs and threw away their trash before running off to their respective classes (or elsewhere). Having already taken the required electives to graduate in their previous years, Jisung and [name] went home earlier than the others in the group. They were walking side-by-side on the sidewalk when [name] eyed Jisung.

“So,” the girl began with a skip in her step. Turning her head to the left to look at him (Jisung always insisted on walking next to the road), her best friend seemed a little bit too excited. “Care to explain why you pulled a ‘pineapple on pizza’ on me earlier?”

Jisung wiggled his eyebrows at her. “You’ll find out on Saturday.”

[name] elbowed him. “Nope, that’s not how pineapple on pizza works! I trust whatever plan you claim you have, but you have to spill all of the details. Otherwise, it doesn’t count.”

Jisung sighed in defeat. “Fine. I’ll tell you. So, to get you to finally tell Jeongin that you have feelings for him—“

“I do not.”

“Whatever you say, doll. Anyway, the other boys and I are going to help you two get nice and cozy. You know, going to a theater and subtly have you two sit next to each other, you both go for the popcorn at the same time, and bam! Sparks fly! We could go to a ferris wheel and force you two to get your own pod so you can have a little privacy, if you know what I mean. Or you could go the dramatic route, and we can go to a haunted house, and you can act all scared, so he’ll save the day and sweep you off of your feet. Heck, we could even take a trip to the beach, and you can offer to get us shaved ice only to be hit on by a bunch of narcissistic flirts, and then Jeongin could get all jealous and be like, ‘Hey, back off! She’s mine.’”

“Yeah, I don’t like that last one. I don’t like any sort of involvement with narcissistic flirts, and I don’t really think that it’s healthy to confess to someone when he’s jealous…”

Jisung jumped up, pointing an index finger close to [name]’s face. If it was anyone else, that person would no longer have that finger, but, with Jisung, this kind of behavior was typical.

“Aha! So, you admit that you like Jeongin.”

“…I was just saying that as a general statement, not specifically to Jeongin. I haven’t admitted anything.”

[name] kicked at the pavement, the sound of her old shoes scrapping against the concrete (she needed new ones anyway, so no harm done). The scenarios ran across her mind like an old movie. While the idea of finally being able to tell Jeongin about she felt was enticing, she did not really trust Jisung, Hyunjin, Felix, and Seungmin (three out of four were known as the crazy ones) to be able to manage it all without everything falling apart. There was also the fact that Jeongin could completely reject her, thus leaving her heartbroken and dejected and awkward. That was not an ideal outcome. But [name] had decided long ago that the issue of her heart had to be dealt with in some manner, some time soon. At least, that way, she’d be able to have closure on the matter.

A scene of her and Jeongin watching the city at night from the top of the ferris wheel crossed her mind once more. It definitely seemed ideal in her mind, but would reality produce the same scenario? Or rather, would Jisung produce the same scenario?

“Okay,” [name] finally agreed much to Jisung’s surprise. “But you cannot leave me alone entirely. I won’t know what to do if I’m just alone with him. That would be so embarrassing and awkward, and it would seem like a date, and I don’t really want to put him in that position.”

Jisung reassured her with a flippant wave of his arm. “Not to worry, we’ll be there for you the whole time. Just promise that you’ll wear something nice.”

Despite planning on listening to his advice, [name] rolled her eyes as she quickened her pace back to her house. Unfortunately, Jisung followed right in step with her. And, even more unfortunately, he followed her all the way back to her house. After all, they were next-door neighbors. That may have the best and worst thing about their friendship.

On Saturday, [name] woke up to the sound of Jisung’s ringtone. She didn’t even know she had fallen asleep. She spent most of the night before worrying about what Saturday would look like, but, apparently, blankets have this innate magic that can coax people to sleep (especially multiple blankets at once).

“Hello?” [name]’s voice drawled as she propped herself up on her elbow lazily. She was still under the seduction of the warm blankets.

“Dude, please do not tell me you just woke up. It’s almost noon already, sleepyhead! Hyunjin’s up before you,” Jisung yelled through the phone.

The news shocked [name] awake as her [eye color] eyes flashed towards the clock on the nightstand. Sure enough, it was 11:45. She jumped out of bed and ran to her closet, pulling out potential clothes and throwing the others onto her bed. Jisung was still yelling into her ear.

“The only people we’re waiting on are you and Jeongin ironically enough,” Jisung chuckled. “Don’t stress about it too much, and just make your way over here as soon as possible. I can’t promise where the four of us will be, but we’ll make Jeongin wait here for you. Just think of it as phase one.”

His voice sounded cheerful which only irritated [name] more.

“Absolutely not! Jisung, you butt! You literally live right next to me, and you didn’t even bother to check on me?”

[name] was fuming until she finally found a decent outfit that still managed to match her style. Throwing the clothes on, she ran to the wall mirror and checked to see if her hair needed adjustments. While she worked through her bedhead issues, she checked to see why Jisung hadn’t responded to her last question. Unsurprisingly, he had hung up to avoid the confrontation.

“Typical Jisung,” [name] growled as she grabbed a pair of shoes to match her outfit.

Her eyes flashed towards the makeup in the corner of her room, typically untouched unless the occasion called for it. Did today’s occasion call for it? After all, makeup in moderation never hurt anyone, and Jeongin was worth looking nice for. [name] bit her bottom lip as she debated with herself. Finally relenting with a huff, she grabbed the products she wanted and applied them as fast she could in her bathroom. While not an expert, she managed makeup fairly well (Jisung would let her practice on him when they were bored), and even she couldn’t hide the smile on her face when she looked in the mirror. With just that little touch, she felt confident enough to make her way out of her front door.

[name]’s feet carried her as fast as they could to the original meeting spot--the park next to Seungmin’s apartment. For years, their group had been coming to the park and hanging out; thus, this made the park the automatic meeting grounds. However, when the park was within her [eye color] eye’s view, she noticed a considerable lack of people at the park. In fact, the only person waiting there was Jeongin.

He hadn’t seen her yet, his fox-like eyes gazing down at his watch. [name] instinctively hid behind a large tree trunk. Her heart skipped a beat (or two), and he was the reason. Taking shallow breaths, she attempted to calm herself but to no avail. The thought of Jisung helped her though because, once she remembered how Jisung mentioned he had a plan, all of her nervousness turned to absolute rage. 

She took a deep breath and growled as she pulled out her phone and called her partner-in-crime. It didn’t take long for him to pick up.

“Jisung, where are--”

“Why are you hiding?! Go get him already!” Jisung demanded through the speaker in her phone.

[name] immediately examined the area around, searching for any indication of a lurking Jisung. Unfortunately, he had been accustomed to hiding well in order to watch his pranks succeed or fail. He was good.

“I can’t go out there by myself,” [name] hissed. “If you can see me, why are you hiding? This is supposed to be an all of us outing, not--” It finally registered with [name] what exactly Jisung had had in mind. She vaguely remembered that he had mentioned it while she was in a state of panic. “You were going to leave us to go on a date! The one thing I told you not to do!”

“Well, we figured the best way for you two to bond would be if you just kinda, sorta went on a date,” Jisung answered timidly. “Just don’t keep him waiting any longer or else he’ll get suspicious!”

She growled, but the thought of going on a date with Jeongin won her over. “Fine!” [name] finally consented. 

While she was upset that Jisung would pull this kind of stunt, her stomach had butterflies at the thought of going on a date with Jeongin. With deep, soothing breaths, [name] reminded herself of how pretty she looked just minutes earlier, how much confidence she felt swelled up in her. She liked her outfit, she liked her hair, she liked her makeup, she liked the boy: today would be great! And with one final preparing breath, she stepped out from behind her wooden shield.

“Jeongin!” she called out, strolling up to him.

At the sound of his name, Jeongin looked up from his phone. A bright smile appeared on his lovely features.

“There you are, [name],” Jeongin exclaimed. “I was just about to call you. I was getting worried.”

“Wor-Worried?” [name] stammered. “Well, you know, I just kind of, uh, accidentally slept in. In my defense, Jisung could have very easily woken me up.”

“Speaking of Jisung, do you know where he and Felix are? They told me to wait here for you, but I haven’t seen them since,” Jeongin pondered, glancing around the immediate area. He suddenly recalled, “Oh, by the way, Hyunjin and Seungmin won’t be able to make it. They said something about being emergency fill-ins for a baseball game?”

[name] nodded slowly. Was this really happening?

“Yeah, I haven’t heard anything from Jisung since he told me not to keep you waiting,” [name] said, playing with her fingers. It wasn’t a total lie, but she still wouldn’t meet his gaze.

Jeongin hummed when the sound of [name]’s phone went off. Fishing out her phone with an apologetic nod towards Jeongin, she checked the lock screen.

JiScrat: Hey, Babochka! I’m really sorry, but I completely forgot to tell you that Felix and I have supplementary lessons today, so we won’t be able to make it. Have fun with everyone else though! I’ll send a picture of the day I planned.

[name] was ready to curse that boy (How lame of an excuse is that?!), but she remembered Jeongin standing next to her and refrained herself. She cleared her throat and forced a strained chuckle. 

“I have just been informed that Jisung and Felix forgot they had supplementary classes, so I’m guessing that they won’t be joining us either...” 

[name]’s voice trailed off, quiet as a whisper. Pursing her lips, she kept her gaze toward their feet. As much as she wanted to see what kind of expression Jeongin had on his face at that moment, she couldn’t bear to look. Her fear won over her desire.

“Looks like it’s just you and me then.”

At the sound of Jeongin’s reply, [name] shot up. He didn’t seem upset or uncomfortable at all. Granted, they had been friends for a while now, but, with the situation playing out like this, anyone else would’ve at least been suspicious! Instead, the boy simply smiled at her. [name] felt like time had stopped in that moment. She stared with doe-eyes. He had parted his hair again; it suited him a little too well. Jeongin had to prompt her out of her trance with a question.

“Did Jisung ever tell you what he had planned?” Jeongin asked with a tilt of his head. 

“Kind of,” [name] admitted, pulling up her phone once more. She opened her chat with Jisung, hoping that whatever previous texts they had shared weren’t too embarrassing. At the very bottom of the page was the picture he had promised. “He sent a picture.”

Jeongin moved to stand behind her, only causing her heart to flutter. She hated how easily he affected her, and she was terrified that he would notice her loud palpitations. He peered over her shoulder to look at the picture with her. [name]’s grip on her phone tightened, her breathing turned shallow. Her mouth was dry.

“Let’s see... picnic by the Han River,” Jeongin read off of the screen. “Sounds like fun, but I didn’t exactly bring food.”

“Me either,” [name] managed out. Getting those words out at the very least helped her find her voice. “Maybe we can pick something up?”

“Ramen?” Jeongin suggested as offhandedly as he could. His voice faltered just enough to give him away.

[name] giggled at his childlike excitement. No matter how grown up he looked, Jeongin was still Jeongin. “Yeah, sounds good!”

The two began their walk to the Han River, figuring it would be easier for them to find a convenience store closer to their destination. Maybe it was because [name] was so used to Jisung that she didn’t even notice Jeongin maneuvering his way to the roadside of the sidewalk. It was little things like that and him matching his pace with hers that only made her fall for him more. 

The Han River wasn’t terribly far from the park, but, then again, time flowed differently when Jeongin was around. By the time the river had come into view, the two were so lost in a world of their own that they almost forgot to eat. It took a not-so-subtle text from a person who was supposed to be in supplementary classes. The familiar notification sound caught her attention. She came to a stop on the sidewalk, Jeongin naturally stopping next to her. 

“Why is Jisung texting me? He’s supposed to be in class,” [name] muttered under her breath with a huff. Jeongin chuckled quietly at her irritation.

JiScrat: Hey, Babochka! How’s the date going? Is Jeongin treating you properly?

[name] hid her phone as quickly as possible as the rush of heat hit her cheeks. Jeongin tilted his head questioningly as he stared at her. 

“Are you okay, [name]?” he asked, a slight pout on his lips as [name] turned away from him.

“Yeah,” [name] lied through her teeth. “Yeah, just peachy.”

Jeongin raised an eyebrow at her response, clearly unconvinced. “So... what did Jisung say?”

“He, um, well, he,” [name] stammered. She met his eyes for only a second and realized that she didn’t want to lie to him. “Well, he just asked how the picnic was.”

“I don’t think an innocent question like that would’ve gotten that kind of response out of you,” Jeongin countered, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” [name] admitted. She fiddled with the closest thing she could, her fingers. “Well, you see, he kind of phrased it differently in a really weird context, and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable...”

Her companion smirked, a smirk that only his older college friend, Minho Lee,  could’ve taught to him. “What? Did he call it a date?”

[name] stared at him with wide [eye color] eyes. “...did you see?”

Jeongin laughed out loud, returning to his innocent personality. “I guessed right. Calling this a date doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t?”

“Why would it?” Jeongin shrugged. His contagious smile never left his face. “Come on, we can treat it like a real date. I’ll treat you to ramen, and we can ride bikes up and down the Han River.”

He extended his arm towards her which she hesitantly took. Her heart was racing at the simple contact, but she did her best not to show anything. With a small smile, [name] accepted his offer, finding their paces naturally syncing to each other.

They found a convenience store fairly quickly (they are supposed to be convenient, after all) and bought plenty of snacks for their little picnic, not forgetting Jeongin’s important ramen, of course. Jeongin made sure to grab the corn chips he had been craving, the kind that Hyunjin always shared with him. With a giggle, they were on their way to the park when a thought occurred to [name]. 

“Jeongin... how are we supposed to picnic if we don’t have a blanket to sit on?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at the boy who walked to her left. 

Jeongin hummed, scanning the park with his fox-like eyes. They twinkled when a solution came to his mind. “How about we just sit on the stone steps that lead down to the river?”

[name] rolled her eyes but followed the boy to location he had in mind. It would have to work. On the bright side, everyone else was smart enough to bring blankets to sit on, so they were all on the grass. This way, the two had some form of privacy. 

Carefully setting their feast on the steps within arms reach, the two began to eat. It didn’t feel awkward, probably because of the numerous times the two of them had eaten lunch together before. If anything, it felt more intimate than usual as the two were allowed to focus solely on each other instead of Jisung and Felix being loud in the background. The thought brought warmth to [name]’s cheeks. That was the point of this accidental date, for Jeongin and [name] to be alone together. And truth be told, she did feel significantly more comfortable than at the beginning of their date at least.

“I feel bad for the others,” Jeongin commented in between corn chips. “They’re really missing out.”

“On what? Eating junk food and sitting on hard steps?” [name] questioned with a knowing smile. She took a bite of the ramen between the two of them, the warm noodles nearly melting in her mouth. 

“No, getting to spend quality time with you,” Jeongin responded. 

[name] nearly choked. She did her best to play it cool, make it seem like she was normal, but the rapid heart pounding in her chest told a different story. 

“Although, I guess I’m also glad they’re gone, so I can have you to myself.”

When did Jeongin gain the confidence to say such things? Was it Minho’s effect?

“We don’t usually get to talk as much as the others,” Jeongin recalled with a regretful glance. “But I like being able to spend time with you like this. It helps me get to know you better.”

And suddenly, [name] forgot what it meant to be casual and couldn’t stop focusing on the fact that Jeongin was so close to her. She did her best to eat, but it was hard when he would watch her for a second and chuckle to himself.

“You know, you’re kind of a messy eater,” Jeongin commented. He raised his hand to gently brush away the crumbs of corn chips from the corner of [name]’s mouth. 

[name] was fully prepared to retort to his comment and would deny any accusation otherwise (most likely from Jisung), but she felt helpless when Jeongin smiled. As much as she didn’t want to get her hopes high, she couldn’t help but wish that he only looked at her like that. 

“Is there something on my face?” Jeongin asked, tilting his side to the side. 

[name]’s [eye color] eyes widened. “Nope, no, you’re good. I was just, uh, thinking, you know?” She was screwing things over for herself; she had to think of something else to talk about. “So, why bikes?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why would we ride bikes up and down the Han River? I mean, it’s kind of a specific idea.” It was meant to be simple smalltalk to fill in any awkward silences, but his answer had caught her off guard.

Jeongin’s brown eyes lingered on her for a second longer than normal when he shyly averted his gaze to the steps. His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

“It’s my dream first date.”

[name] furrowed her brows, tilting her head to the side. “Well, why would you want to waste that on me? Shouldn’t you save something that special for someone special?”

“We-Well... why can’t you be someone special?”

“Because I’m [name]?”

Jeongin groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “Why are you so difficult?!” With a pout on lips and his cheeks red from embarrassment, he faced her once more.

“I’m trying to tell you that I like you! I’ve been trying to get you to realize that this whole time! I want to go on a real date with you, go on a picnic, and ride bikes,” Jeongin confessed, running a hand through his hair. “And I don’t think I’ve been trying to hide my feelings for you, but, wow, you’re really clueless.”

[name] struggled to comprehend the truth behind Jeongin’s words, and the pieces of the puzzle slowly came together. So, when Jisung first confronted her about one of the people in their friend group liking someone else... he was talking about Jeongin liking her? He did seem genuinely surprised when [name] had indirectly admitted that she liked someone and was even more surprised when he figured out that it was Jeongin. And then this whole set up date happened... Jisung, you sly dog.

Jeongin hid his face in his hands again, muttering to himself. “This was definitely not the way I wanted to confess. I was supposed to tell you after the bike ride. Gosh, I really goofed--”

“Jeongin,” [name] called out to him.

He met her soft smile and kind eyes, and his heart skipped a beat in his chest.

“I like you too.”

A wave of relief crashed over the both of them as the reality of their situation panned out before them. Then, [name] let out a healthy laugh, causing the boy to jump back in response.

“What?”

“A couple of days ago, Jisung had come up to me and said that someone liked someone else in our friend group,” [name] confessed, “and, at first, I thought he had figured out that I liked you. But now, I’m guessing that he found out that you liked me which also explains why you were so curious about what we were talking about.”

Jeongin’s lips formed a pout as he furrowed his brows. “He overheard me telling Felix and made a mad dash for the clubroom, yelling for you. You can understand why I was concerned.”

“Oh, yeah, trust me. I get it,” [name] agreed with successive nods. She let a small laugh before pursing her lips. “So, should we clean up and go rent bikes?”

Jeongin returned her smile as he jumped to his feet. He extended his hand to her. 

“Shall we?”

“Mission accomplished, boys!” Jisung cheered as the ‘00 liners watched Jeongin and [name] from a grove of trees. His eyes beamed with pride as he straightened his posture. “As always, my plans never fail.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes as Jisung’s words floated in one ear and out the other. “[name]’s still gonna kill you, you know?”

Jisung scoffed. “You’re just jealous that you’re not Jeongin.”

Seungmin didn’t reply as he directed his sight back on the young couple. The sound of Hyunjin munching on banana chips filled the second of silence between the group before Jisung’s phone went off. Recognizing the distinct text tone, Jisung prepared himself for a verbal beating from his beloved best friend.

rama-rama 🦋: thank you.

Genuinely surprised by the short but sweet text, Jisung clutched at his heart. Felix peeked over his shoulder.

“Wow,” the boy commented, “that’s weird.”

rama-rama 🦋: but you’re still a butt.

“Oh, there it is!”

Despite the strange way that Jeongin and [name] ended up confessing their feelings for one another, the two did have Jisung Han to thank.

[straykidsramblings]

YALL YOUR HOME GIRL JUST PASSED HER THESIS PRESENTATION, I’M REALLY DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL FOREVER.

THIS MEANS I CAN WRITE FOR AS MUCH AS I WANT NOW WITHOUT FEAR OF FLUNKING.

[straykidsramblings]

there’s no way. [hwang hyunjin]

hwang hyunjin x trainee!fem!reader

word count: ~3.2K words

genre: light angst

summary: “honest feelings and bad timing make the most painful combination.”

nb: if you want a song to get you in the feels, this is the song I wrote to. don’t worry, it has a (kinda) happy ending.

Anyone who knows anything about the world of K-Pop knows that the road to becoming an idol is tiresome. Trainees will train for years, and some of them may never even see the light of debut. Hyunjin Hwang considered himself so incredibly lucky that Bang Chan had given him an opportunity, and he refused to do anything that would risk his chance to become an official idol.

Even if that meant losing [name] [last name].

The two had been friends since their trainee years, both of them having been accepted at the same time. They had met on their first days at the company where [name] mistook Hyunjin for an already debuted idol. He quickly corrected her mistake with a delicate blush dusting his cheeks. They’d been close ever since.

While their group of friends all hung out together, anyone who knew Hyunjin and [name] could tell that there was something special about their relationship. It was in the stolen glances from across the room. It was in the smiles that appeared on [name]’s face when Hyunjin made a reference to something only they knew about. It was in the way their bodies naturally flowed together during dance practices. You didn’t have to know them to see that their bond was much deeper than anyone else’s.

She knew that he loved her; he knew that she loved him.They both knew to never admit their feelings. If they did, the consequences would be dire. Fate and Time were cruel like that, giving people honest feelings for each other but not giving them the right timing. So, they kept their distances just enough.

When Chan proposed the position in a boy group to Hyunjin, [name] was the first person to hear about it. The same night that Chan had asked Hyunjin to join his group, [name] and Hyunjin rendezvoused at a park near the company. From his text, [name] could tell that Hyunjin was thrilled about something, so she ended up buying ice cream for the both of them. She was happy for him, really, but the churning in her stomach was not from the usual butterflies she had around him. Something was different this time.

“[name]!” Hyunjin’s voice cut clear through the otherwise silent area.

The girl stood from her swing only to be nearly knocked down by the full weight of Hyunjin. He crashed into her with a laugh, throwing his arms around her. [name] stumbled back as she tried desperately to keep her balance and the plastic bag with their ice cream.

“Why, hello to you too,” [name] giggled. She returned his embrace, holding him a little bit longer and a little bit tighter than most friends usually would. He smelled like cinnamon and oranges.

Hyunjin removed himself and skipped over to their usual swing set. Taking his place on the left swing, he waited patiently for [name] to take her seat.

She rolled her eyes. “You know, I was already sitting there before I was attacked by a bear.”

Hyunjin only smiled at her as she shook her head. In the midsummer night’s weather, the seat was almost disgustingly warm, but she didn’t mind since it meant sitting with her best friend.

Hyunjin peeked his head out from behind the swing. “Guess what?”

[name] copied his actions with a giggle. “What?”

Hyunjin couldn’t contain the smile on his face. At this point, [name] could only guess what had happened to him.

“Chan asked me to be in a group with him!”

And there they were: the words that [name] had been, unfortunately, afraid to hear. She wouldn’t allow her smile to falter. 

“Oh my gosh, congratulations!” [name] cheered. “I’m so happy for you, Hyunjin! This is a dream come true.”

“Well, there’s a catch,” Hyunjin admitted.

[name] held up the plastic bag she was still holding. “But first, ice cream.”

Hyunjin grinned as he took the bag into his own hands. He fished out his favorite ice cream bar, the one that [name] always got for him, before handing the girl her own. The vexing sound of wrappers unraveling interrupted the air, but the sweetness that came afterward was worth it.

[name] bit into her ice cream before reminding Hyunjin of their conversation. “Okay, so, what’s the catch?”

Hyunjin hummed, finding his way out of his ice cream and back to reality. “Here’s the thing. It’s through a survival show. The potential boy group is picked out specially by Chan, and, if we beat the girl group and prove ourselves to J.Y.P., then we can debut.”

“Hyunjin, that’s amazing!” [name] cheered. “And, before you begin, don’t even think of getting eliminated. You’re an amazing dancer and rapper and, if you allowed yourself to try it, I’m sure you’d be a great singer too.”

Hyunjin huffed, all of his energy leaving him as he quietly kicked at the ground beneath his feet. “But... what if Chan only wants me because of my looks?”

[name] shook her head with a sigh. “First of all, Chan’s not that shallow. You know that; we all know that. It’s Chan. Second of all, you are worth so much more than your face. I’m not saying that you weren’t blessed with good looks, but I’m just saying that there’s more to you than just that. You’ve trained for so long, Hyunjin. You deserve this chance.”

Hyunjin offered her a half-hearted smile. She knew that words could only do so much in order to cheer him up, but it was the least she could offer him. Sometimes, it was the most she could offer him although she desperately wanted to just hold him instead his anxieties were at ease.

“You think I’m blessed with good looks?” Hyunjin teased, a sly smirk appearing on his attractive countenance.

[name] made a movement to punch his arm, earning a giggle out of the boy. They both knew she would never hurt him.

“You already know what I think...” [name] mumbled mostly to herself.

Hyunjin probably heard her; his ears were sharp enough to have heard her, but he didn’t respond. After all, what would he say? What could he say? And with this opportunity for him coming up, they both knew that something would change between them although neither of them wanted to admit it. Unfortunately, they also both knew that they could no longer avoid the subject.

“Hyunjin?’

“Hmm?”

“About us...”

“What about us?”

A huff escaped [name]’s lips, her [eye color] eyes staring longingly at the ground, hoping that things could be different.

“You know that this changes things, right?”

There was a pause.

“...yeah, I know.”

And that was the end of it. Neither of them wanted to say more. They ate their ice cream in unbearable silence before Hyunjin walked [name] home. The walk back to [name]’s house was uncomfortably silent. The two couldn’t even look at each other, but they walked closer to each other than they ever had before. Their arms brushed with every step. Their fingers loosely slipped past the other’s.

With [name]’s house in sight, their paces began to slow until they could no longer avoid a departure. They whispered their usual goodnights to each other at her front door. Hyunjin began to walk away; [name] reached for her doorknob.

“[name]!”

Hyunjin’s voice stopped her in time, slowly turning her around with a racing heartbeat. He was so close yet so far away from her, and she wanted nothing more than to run into his arms.

“Yes?” was the soft reply.

Hyunjin bit his bottom lip. “...sleep well.”

Her heart sank at the words, but Hyunjin’s eyes exposed himself. She knew what he had wanted to say, and that alone was enough to make her smile.

“You too.”

The day was March 20, 2018: five days before Stray Kids debuted and Hyunjin’s birthday. The day was all too important to [name], but, instead of celebrating, she sat on the cold floor of the dance practice room with a towel covering her head. Her mind was too distracted by her thoughts to even recall the choreography she and Ryujin Shin were trying to learn. Her companion seated herself next to [name].

“You know,” Ryujin drawled, taking a sip from her water bottle, “it’s not like you can’t see him.”

[name] sighed, pulling the white towel off of her sweaty hair. “You know I can’t.”

Ryujin clicked her tongue. “Look, it’s literally his birthday today. That’s more than enough reason for any of us to see him, to talk to him, to congratulate him. This is literally the perfect time for you to go see him, and none of his fans will be able to get any dirt on you. You’re still friends, after all.”

[name] turned her head towards her friend, obviously refusing her friend’s advice.

Ryujin groaned, repositioning herself to face [name]. “Oh, come on, [name]! I mean, honestly, when was the last time you two talked? In person. Not over text or even phone call.”

[name] attempted to protest, but one look from Ryujin shut her down. “Just before the survival show shooting kicked off.”

“Exactly!” Ryujin exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “Just think about it. In five days, he’s going to debut, and he’ll be even busier than ever before. The likelihood of you two being able to see each other is--”

“Slim, I already know,” [name] huffed. 

Ryujin reigned herself in. The look on [name]’s face was enough to tell her that she had touched on a sour subject. Not only were they still trainees, but, with Hyunjin debuting, he would move to an entirely different section of the company, specifically for debuted idols. He would be even further out of her reach than he already was. 

He had always been just out of her reach.

“Look, Ryujin,” [name] began, earning the attention of the dancer. “I’m not upset about you wanting me to talk to him. I’m not upset that he’s debuting. I’m happy for him! He’s finally achieving the dream that he worked so hard for. But that’s all the more reason that I shouldn’t visit him. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t reach it. Even if their debut is so close, I don’t want him to start with a bunch of rumors flying around about him and some... girl. That’s not fair to Hyunjin or his fans.”

“But is this fair to you?” Ryujin countered.

[name] was quiet for a moment, contemplating how to best respond to Ryujin’s question. “I want to say it doesn’t matter, but it does. Dating isn’t allowed at this company until three years after you’ve debut successfully. Everyone knows that. If anything, this decision will probably end up being a good thing for both of us. We’ve always been close to that edge, but, with his debut, we won’t have to worry about the agency keeping a close eye on us. We can finally just relax and focus on ourselves.”

Ryujin sighed in defeat with a shake of her head. “Sometimes, I really respect how mature you are. This should be one of those times, but I just feel so bad. I mean... you love him, [name].”

“I know.”

“And he loves you.”

“...I know.”

And yet, despite what she had said, [name] found herself thinking about Hyunjin even more than usual that day. She blamed his birthday. And so, she ended up buying his favorite ice cream and a special present. Before she could regret it, she went to the dance practice room that he was always in.

Hyunjin truly was stunning when he danced, his body flowing perfectly in tune with the music. It was like he was made for it. 

She didn’t know what had possessed her when she knocked on the door. The sound caught his attention, stopping him mid-music. His brown eyes only widened when he identified the girl standing in the doorway. In a rush, he nearly tripped over his feet while running up to her.

He stopped directly in front of her, neither of them breaking eye contact. The sweat glistened on his forehead, and his shallow pants were the accompaniment to the music that was playing mindlessly around them. [name] barely managed a smile, much less a voice.

“You’re working, I’m sorry,” [name] forced out hoarsely.

“No!” Hyunjin immediately responded when [name] turned to leave. “No, I actually, uh, just finished.” He was struggling to steady his breathing to no avail. [name] couldn’t tell if that was because of his exhaustion or possibly because of her. His eyes flashed to the bag in her hands expectantly. “So, what’s up?”

“Right, um,” [name] began, fumbling around with the two plastic bag in her hands. “It’s-It’s not wrapped or anything, but, uh... well, happy birthday, Hyunjin.”

She slowly offered the bag to him, and he accepted it with a small chuckle. When he opened it, he laughed, a sound [name] had unfortunately not heard in a long time.

“My favorite ice cream,” Hyunjin observed. “In March.”

[name] shot him a glare, but the smile on her face indicated that she wasn’t upset.

“And, what’s this?” Hyunjin picked up a small, velvet box.

“Well, I know you always have your cross one, but I bought this one for you too. You don’t have to wear it if you really don’t want to, but I was thinking... maybe, one day, on the right day, that you would.”

Curious, Hyunjin opened the box to reveal a silver necklace with a small pair of angel wings. He lifted the long chain up gently to view it in the light, a soft smile decorating his features. The smile was contagious, spreading to [name]’s own face.

“Do you like it?” she asked sheepishly.

Hyunjin returned his gaze to her [eye color] eyes. “I love it.”

[name] turned her smile to the wooden floor beneath them. “I’m glad.”

A silence filled the room, neither of them sure of what to say next. Hyunjin had lowered his arm, still clutching the pair of wings as if they were made of porcelain. He kept his eyes on her, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. She wouldn’t. He knew he had to be the one to break their silence.

After all, he had accidentally overheard her conversation with Ryujin only hours earlier. He had been passing by their practice room to get to his own when he caught [name]’s figure out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t help himself but watch for a bit through the door that had been left ajar. It had been months since they’d actually held a conversation, and he just missed her so much. 

His heart broke when he watched her stop in the middle of the dance, letting the red wall of the practice room support her weight as she slid to the ground. She looked so lonely. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, but he knew he couldn’t. When Ryujin sat down next to her, Hyunjin was planning to leave, but, when the first words came out of Ryujin’s mouth, his feet planted themselves outside the door. 

He had heard what she had said. In truth, he wasn’t expecting her to actually stop by, but he had hoped that she would. And she did.

“Thank you,” Hyunjin whispered. “I didn’t think you would come.”

She couldn’t return his soft gaze. “I didn’t think I would either.”

“But you did.”

In a moment of bravery, he reached out for her hand. Slowly linking their fingers together, Hyunjin felt a wave of electricity and relief flow through him. Oh, how long he’d been dying to touch her. 

[name] knew she should’ve pulled away, but she just couldn’t. She’d been waiting for so long just to talk to him, never mind touch him. At this rate, she would become too greedy. While she made no effort to hand his hand, she didn’t pull away either.

“Yeah.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “I did.”

For the first time since they’d stood face to face, [name] lifted her gaze from the ground to look at him. She regretted it the moment after. His eyes glistened with love as he smiled at her as if she was the only thing that mattered in this world. Her chest tightened; her breathing hitched. Yet she couldn’t look away. He captured her every thought.

She didn’t even realize he had begun to lean in until her own eyes had closed naturally. Before they could reach each other, the image of Hyunjin’s debut crossed her mind. In a moment of realization, she pulled back her hand from Hyunjin’s hold and placed it on his chest.

“Oh, sh--” Hyunjin exclaimed as he realized what he had done. “I’m sorry, [name]. I didn’t mean to--”

“No, no, that’s not why I stopped you,” [name] told him with a wistful laugh. “You know that we can’t do this.”

Despite their proximity, neither of them made any motion to step back. [name] stayed quietly in Hyunjin’s loose embrace, resting her hands on his firm chest. The familiar smell of cinnamon and oranges wafted into her nose. He smelled like home.

“But I want to,” Hyunjin finally admitted. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do this.”

[name] scoffed. “Yes, I do.”

For the first time in a long time, the silence that followed was comfortable. They merely enjoyed being near each other while Hyunjin’s music played in the background. Eventually, with a smirk, the dancer started swaying to the dance music, [name] following along with every step he took. 

The reaction was so natural. It had reminded her of their trainee days when they would stay later than the others to practice “just one more song” before walking home together. Looking back on it, while [name] really did want to practice more, it was also just another excuse to stay with Hyunjin.

For the minutes that passed afterwards, it truly felt like they were in a different world, a different time. It was just them--no company, no debut, no scandals, no worries. But it was all too good to be true.

“How about this?” Hyunjin proposed while they swayed absentmindedly. She hummed in response, urging him to continue with whatever thought he had. “This necklace will be like our silent little message. I’ll debut and become a huge star, and you’ll debut and become a huge star. I’ll count down the days, and, on the first day that we can finally be together, I’ll wear this necklace instead of my normal cross necklace. That’ll be our signal. If you still feel this way at that point.”

[name] laughed out loud. They really did think alike.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” [name] confessed.

Hyunjin broke out into a grin. “Promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

[straykidsramblings]

head over heels. [han jisung]

producer!han jisung x fem!reader feat. 3racha | college!au

word count: ~3.7K

genre: fluff

summary: Jisung falls head over heels (quite literally) for a girl and finds himself struggling to cope with the situation he’s placed himself in.

Jisung wouldn’t be able to tell you what possessed him to go running that morning, but that was just about the best decision he’d made since he chose Music Composition as his major at SK University. Maybe it was the fact that Chan had been talking about needing to go back to the gym. Maybe it was the fact that Changbin always wore muscle tees in the studio because, as he claimed, “it was too hot.” (Honestly, spring wasn’t that hot of a season.) Maybe it was the fact that Jeongin, the youngest of their friend group, had abs. Whatever the reason was, Jisung Han found himself on a run at 7:19 on a Tuesday morning.

As he stepped out of the dorm building, he immediately put in earphones before he faced any awkward silences. Jisung was a musically-oriented man. He also used this as an excuse to always be listening to some kind of music. Once the earphones were in, Jisung was out. Stretching lightly, he took one last deep breath before breaking into a steady jog.

He started out fairly okay. After all, Jisung had typically made healthy choices in life. It wasn’t that he didn’t work out. It wasn’t that he didn’t have stamina. It just wasn’t enough.

His course consisted of a lap around the [distance] campus. This early in the morning, Jisung was confident that no one would even be up to see him. The only people who would be awake are the suckers who had an 8 a.m. class. At that point, they’re usually too dead inside to even pay attention to him. He was off to a good start, pacing himself properly in order not to exhaust his stamina.

The cool air was nice against his skin as he ran. With the sun rising steadily, his surroundings shined with a golden glint. Jisung did enjoy the in morning jogs. Unfortunately, he wasn’t always awake at this time of the morning. Jisung was not exactly known for being a morning person after all.

He was about halfway around his course when he met her. He was just passing the neighboring town’s park when his brown eyes caught sight of a dog across the road. He supposed he had forgotten about people walking their dogs until it was too late to turn back. However, the girl who was walking the dog really caught Jisung’s attention.

She was captivating. Her hair color switched between two different colors depending on the angle of the rays of the sun. [eye color] eyes laughed lovingly at her dog as he pranced around in front of her. Her lips were curled into a smile as if she genuinely seemed to enjoy life. She seemed so at peace and content with life that Jisung couldn’t help but stare. He knew it was a little bit creepy, especially at 7:43 in the morning, but he just couldn’t focus on anything but her. He didn’t even notice he’d slow down his pace significantly to look at her for a little bit longer (again, he promised he was NOT a creep).

Was she his age? She looked it. Did she go to the same Uni? Hopefully.

As Jisung kept pondering over the unanswered questions, the girl finally noticed the intense stare that wouldn’t leave her alone. She turned to his direction.

The moment that their eyes met, Jisung felt his heart leap in his chest. She was looking at him; she was actually looking at him. She was just as gorgeous as he thought he was.

Jisung must have had some expression on his face because the girl started laughing at him. Jisung managed an awkward smile back. He was never this nervous around other girls who were only inches apart from him, but this girl walking on the other side of the road made him feel like he was about to have a heart attack. And then she waved. Jisung raised a shaking hand to wave back at her, but he felt himself fall before he was able to stop himself.

The next thing he remembered was staring up at the sky. His earphones had fallen out, so he was able to hear the bark of a dog coming closer to him. He shut his eyes as his mind registered the pain signals his body was sending.

“Are you okay?” a worried voice asked.

Hearing an unknown voice, Jisung slowly opened his eyes to see the girl of his dreams observing him with a concerned expression.

“Wow, you’re amazing,” Jisung mumbled.

“What?”

“…amazingly kind,” Jisung covered up to the best of his abilities with a small chuckle. He cleared his throat as the girl helped him sit up. He tried to act as natural as possible. “I guess this means I’ve fallen for you.”

“Well…” the girl started, clearly not wanting to explain. She was looking at something a little ways ahead of them. Her dog sat patiently beside her. “You fell for something.”

She bit her bottom lip (something Jisung found absolutely adorable) as she refrained herself from laughing. It was only then that Jisung had the mind to look at what she was looking at.

It was dog poop. Jisung had slipped and fallen because of dog poop. He could still see the streak his shoes made.

The embarrassment ran to his cheeks as his expression changed into one of terror. That was enough to ruin the girl’s failed attempt at not laughing. Although her laugh was beautiful and made Jisung wonder if that was the sound he would hear upon entering heaven, he wanted nothing more than to run away. He couldn’t look at her straight in the eyes.

“So, uh,” Jisung began although he didn’t exactly know where to go from there. “I’m probably just gonna go home and clean this.” Anything to get out of this situation.

“I’m so sorry,” the girl laughed apologetically. “I really shouldn’t be laughing.”

Jisung rose to his feet. “Oh, no, no, no. It’s okay. I would be laughing too if I were in your shoes. But the problem is that I’m in mine, and mine have dog poop on them so…”

Her laugh at his joke almost made the entire thing worth it. Almost.

“I’m just gonna go then,” Jisung forced a laugh before setting back on his course. He debated taking his shoe off, but then he would be walking around without any form of defense. He wasn’t sure which one was worse.

The girl waved goodbye to him, her dog happily standing on his four feet. She was smiling—at least that was good. Jisung decided to go back to the dorms as quickly as possible with as little damage as possible. Curse morning runs.

Jisung avoided working out for a few days after the incident. Instead, he poured more of his time into the studio that he shared with Changbin and Chan, two of his friends. The three of them often collaborated on songs. Their ultimate goal after Jisung (as the youngest) graduated was to form a trio of producers. While he enjoyed their company, his mind kept wandering back to the beautiful girl he had seen that one morning at 7:45 that morning. He didn’t even catch her name. Maybe that’s why he found himself walking one Friday morning in the park where he had met her.

He figured he could play it off as an 8 a.m. class on Friday, but he supposed he dressed a little too nicely for that. Most students with a morning class were dressed is sweat everything; Jisung elected to dress in a crewneck sweatshirt, his best pair of jeans, and his new Converse. Casual, but not sweatpants. Sweatpants were the epitome of indifference.

He tried to look as casual as possible, sticking his earphones in without actually listening to anything. His active eyes constantly glancing around at the area around him, he also occasionally checked his watch as naturally as possible. The time was 7:30, a little bit earlier than the last time he had met her, but he had faith that he would meet her again. Maybe her dog would do him a favor and insist on being taken out early.

He heard her before he saw her.

“Whoa, Milkshake, slow down!”

He assumed Milkshake was the name of her dog. Preparing himself mentally, he relaxed his muscles down to a casual stroll. He slowly put his hand into his pocket and began to whistle. He heard her angelic laugh as she approached him, his heart skipping a beat.

“What’s gotten into you, girl?” the girl laughed.

He felt the dog sniff around his feet, prompting him to a halt. The girl stared at the dog for a second longer before glancing up at the person that her animal had stopped. Judging by the enlightened expression on her face, she seemed to have remembered him.

“You’re the guy who slipped on dog poop,” the girl recalled. After realizing what she said and seeing Jisung chuckled awkwardly, she tried to play it off. “And the funny guy! I wish I could’ve talked to you longer before.”

That definitely managed to make him feel better.

“I’m guessing you have a class since you’re not dressed to run?”

Jisung cleared his throat, removing his earphones to hang them around his neck. “Oh yeah, I’ve got this dumb 8 a.m. class on Fridays. It kinda sucks.”

The girl hummed. “So, I’ve heard. I was careful not to take any.”

“Oh, so do you go here too?” Jisung asked, possibly a little too excitedly. He yelled at himself in his head.

The girl nodded with a smile. She didn’t seem to mind. “Yeah, but I live really close by, so I just live off campus. It’s cheaper on my family that way too since they don’t have to pay for room and boarding.”

Jisung tried not to let his excitement get to his face as the two began to walk side-by-side together. It was so natural too, Milkshake trotting ahead of them. Jisung was careful not have any more mishaps.

“Oh, I’m [name], by the way,” she introduced herself. “[name] [last name].”

“Jisung Han,” replied Jisung.

“You know, if you’re heading to a class, I can walk with you. If you’re okay with that, of course. I would be out walking Milkshake anyway, so, if you don’t mind the company, I’d love to keep talking.”

The nervousness was starting to set in again. The effect she had on him was really no joke. His palms were beginning to feel clammy, so he rubbed them against the side of his jeans as nonchalantly as possible. He wasn’t sure if the lump in his throat would make his voice crack or make him cry. He couldn’t maintain eye contact with her for too long in case he wouldn’t be able to look anywhere else again. He would be tempted to only look at her. How could one person be so perfect to him?

“Yeah, I’d love some company!” Jisung exclaimed, attempting a smile. It felt forced, but did it look it?

“Great! So, where are we headed?”

“Uh…” Considering the fact that Jisung was actually not on his way to an 8 a.m. class, the question required more thought than most. “The Math and Science building.”

He was doing this to himself.

“Oh, really? What are you studying?”

“…biochemistry.”

Jisung, a producer, knew next to nothing about biochemistry. He had no idea what possessed him to say that. He wanted to blame it on the way that she was making him feel, but, instead, he knew it was because of his own stupidity.

“That is so cool, Jisung!”

And suddenly, his mind was only filled with thoughts of her.

“I’m an English major myself. I’m not really one for mathematics and sciences, but I’ve always wanted to be good at them,” she continued, not noticing Jisung’s struggle to keep his lies alive.

He forced a laugh. If he explained the truth now, it would be simpler. “It’s kind of tough, but I enjoy the work.” He really was just trying to screw himself over at this point.

The two continued talking about themselves and their hobbies, their likes and their dislikes, anything that managed to come up. They discovered that they did not have many mutual friends, but, after sharing a couple of funny stories about their different friend groups, both of them agreed that they would definitely need their close friends to meet each other. The walk to the Math and Science building seemed too short, but [name] and Jisung were both too talkative to end it there. They exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch with each other and soon found themselves falling into a routine every Friday morning. As much as Jisung wanted to become closer to her, he hated lying to her.

“Chan, what do I do?” Jisung cried one day when he, Chan, and Changbin were all chilling in a studio together.

Legs dangling off of the edge, Jisung was lying on the couch in the back of the studio as Chan was tweaking Changbin’s rap demo. The rapper had only stepped back into the studio room as Jisung started his complaining. Jisung kicked defiantly.

“I didn’t mean to lie to her, but one thing lead to another, and, now, I’m knee-deep in lies. But there’s something about this girl. She’s different from any other girl. It’s like every crush I’ve ever had up until her was just leading me to her. She makes me so nervous, and I forget what I’m trying to say when I’m trying to say it. But she’s so kind and lets me take my time. And she’s absolutely gorgeous too with the most adorable laugh which really doesn’t help because I find myself staring at her, and that’s considered creepy. The last thing I want to do is creep her out, and—“

“Chan, please tell him whatever he wants to hear so he’ll shut up,” Changbin hissed, resting his head on his palm as he sat down on the free side of the couch. He was clearly exhausted from long nights of studying and producing. They all were.

Jisung pouted but turned to the oldest nonetheless. Chan, on the other hand, released an exasperated sigh. “I mean, Jisung, what else is there to do but just tell her the truth? Just explain everything to her. From what you’ve told us about her, she sounds like she’d understand.”

“I know…” Jisung mumbled with a huff. “I’m just scared and embarrassed, I guess. Scared because I don’t want her to hate me, and embarrassed for lying in the first place.” He released another sigh, beating himself up mentally. “I didn’t mean to lie. I just get so nervous around her.”

Changbin shifted his head to look at his friend. Jisung looked miserable, staring up at the ceiling with his arms going in every direction. His legs kicked rhythmically against the side of the couch in an attempt to amuse himself. Every ten seconds, his face would contort into a distinct expression of terror or sadness. Changbin could only guess his thoughts.

“Well, it hurts to see you like this. So, if you don’t tell her, Chan and I always can.”

“No!” Jisung shot up with a start. “Telling her myself is bad enough. I’m not about to let my friends tell her in my place.”

“Then, get your act together and tell her!” Changbin barked, making a move to kick the younger boy off the couch. He didn’t actually, but Jisung moved to defend himself.

Jisung looked to Chan for support but found none. He huffed once more, sitting up straight. The time was coming. He’d have to tell her eventually.

“Jisung!”

[name] calling out his name made Jisung’s heart skip a beat. He began to panic. It wasn’t Friday. On second thought, he wasn’t anywhere near the park. He was walking back to the cafeteria from the studio. Jisung had never turned around quicker.

“[name]…!” Jisung returned with as much feigned enthusiasm as he could. His lie was falling apart in front of him (although that was kind of what he needed??). “Wha-What are you doing here? I thought the English department normally stayed on the east side of campus.”

“Well, I was in the area, visiting my roommate, and I figured I’d stop by and see you.”

She smiled. Why was she smiling?

“Uh… so, how’d you know I’d be here?”

[name] motioned towards the same building that Jisung had just walked out of, the one that houses all of the studios that all musically-inclined majors used.

“My roommate is a Commercial Music major,” [name] admitted.

Wait.

“So, I’ve kinda known who you were since we met. You, Changbin, and Chan are pretty popular among the female student body after all.”

Jisung felt like he was facing his first exam in high school. He could not wrap his mind around what exactly was going on or how popular he really was.

“But-But-But—“

“So, I know you’re a Composition major, I know you don’t have an 8 a.m. class for biochemistry, and I know that you lied to me about everything.”

“Not everything!” Jisung exclaimed in a panic. She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. “I, uh, meant it when I said I fell for you.”

When [name] crossed her arms over her chest, Jisung knew he wouldn’t have much time to explain, but he had to tell her the truth.

“Okay, the truth is… I’m really not good around girls. I mean, I don’t think I was terrible. I didn’t flirt nearly as much as Minho, but that’s not the point. I’m nervous around girls, and then I met you, and that nervousness hit me like a truck because you’re so different than any other girl I met. The first time we met, I was so embarrassed, but I wanted to see you again. So, I thought of an excuse to be there around the park without looking like a crazy stalker—I’m not a stalker, I promise—but I was traumatized because of the, um, incident from last time. So, I figured the safest way to casually run into you again would be if I had an 8 a.m. class in that area, but none of my classes are over there, so, one thing led to another, and I’m so sorry that I lied. I’m not trying to justify my lying, but to explain, I was so nervous around you. And then, the more I got to know you, I started developing feelings for you, but I didn’t want you to hate me for lying to you. I really didn’t mean any harm.”

[name] stared at him for a good minute, silently taking in Jisung’s confession. Underneath her intense gaze, Jisung felt a lump form in his throat. The heartbeat in his chest sounded louder with every second that passed. He wanted to look away from her [eye color] eyes, but he felt that, if he did, she’d be gone. That was the last thing he wanted.

“Is there anything else that you lied about? I mean, how do I know you didn’t lie about half of the other stuff we would talk about?”

“No!” Jisung insisted. “Everything else I said was true. I really do love cheesecake, but I’m thinking I’m falling in love with chocolate more. I really do need glasses, but I prefer contacts although I always feel like I’m going to poke my eye. And yes, I really do shriek every time. I really do have trypophobia, but I enjoy general horror like jump scares in movies and haunted houses. The list could go on, but I’m sure you don’t want to listen to me talk, so the last thing I’ll mention is that I really do want to spend time with you and get to know you more because I like you.”

He couldn’t stop the words before they had come out. His eyes widened. He supposed that was out in the open.

It was the first time he’d gotten a surprised reaction out of [name], but it vanished in an instant. She smiled at him, the same angelic smile that he had seen weeks ago. Maybe she didn’t hate him.

“Well, I’m glad because I like you too, Jisung,” [name] confessed with a small giggle. She clicked her tongue. “Although, I’ve kind of had a crush on you since before we met.”

“What? How?”

“Like I said, the three of you producers are pretty popular on campus! And I’ve seen you working hard in the studio when I would visit my roommate. I thought you were pretty cute. Next thing I know, you’re waving to me when you’re on a run, and then you’re tripping over dog poop. I suppose I have known this entire time that you were lying about your major, but I’m glad it was just due to nervousness. I didn’t think it could be anything else, but I wanted you to be the one to tell me yourself.”

Jisung wasn’t sure what to say at this point. He just stared at her with brown eyes widened ever so slightly. He took in everything about her, searching for any indication of how he should react. The amused smirk on her lips made his heart flutter. Her [eye color] eyes shimmered with mischief. While she stood in a defensive position, she didn’t seem angry at the slightest.

“Are you sure you’re not an Acting major?” Jisung finally asked with a small laugh.

Her bright giggle filled the air around them as she relaxed her stance. “No, I’m an English major.”

“So,” Jisung cleared his throat. Now or never, Jisung. “What does a Music Composition Major have to do to get a date with an English major?”

[name] hummed, pretending to ponder. Or maybe she was genuinely thinking. Jisung couldn’t tell. “Well, you’ve already slipped on dog poop for me… so, let’s say we’re equal.”

“Dinner tonight?”

When she smiled bashfully, Jisung knew that he was hooked.

“Pick me up at 7.”

Maybe Jisung was still afraid to go on runs, but he couldn’t help but be grateful because it allowed him to meet [name].

[spearones-blog]

there’s so many new skz blogs now o m g

rb if you post like, 95% stray kids content, I’m tryna find my mutuals lol

[straykidsramblings]

stray kids as lauv songs.

sometimes I forget I have this blog, so does this count as content? N E WAY, I was inspired after the Hyunjin solo live where he danced to Paris in the Rain and this happened. Is it quality content? I don’t know, but it’s content?? I think? To explain a little bit, I matched Stray Kids with some of my favorite Lauv songs. 

can you smell the songfics? mayhaps i’m addicted

Chan: the other

// When there's nothing quite wrong but it don't feel right Either your head or your heart, you set the other on fire //

Chan is the love that gets stuck somewhere along the road. At first, it was as if the stars had aligned in some perfect formation that allowed you two to meet and fall in love like you were living a fairytale story. And with him, that’s what it felt like: magical. But something went wrong somewhere, and he can’t figure it out. No matter how long he obsesses over memories, he can’t figure out what it is that he needs to fix it. He knows that something is wrong, but he doesn’t know what to do. His heart is saying one thing, and his mind is saying another, and he really doesn’t know what he should do. Goodbye may not be the easiest choice, but it may be his only. I’m also thoroughly convinced that he would be the one to be caught between thinking and feeling, but maybe that’s just me.

Woojin: breathe

// I've seen your soul grow just like a rose Made it through all of those thorns //

Woojin is the love that grows along with you whether or not you can recognize it. He’s honestly a constant support beam; he always cheers at whatever events you participate in or things you’re involved in. He loves being able to share these moments of growth with you. The times that you two go through together are both bliss and torture. No relationship is without its struggle, but you two manage to work through the trials together and become stronger because of it. He’s always by your side as a lover and a friend. Breathe is actually a breakup song about a boy needing to separate himself from his love in order to find himself. But there’s something about this song that convinces me that they find their way back to each other. A love so great doesn’t end that easily.

Minho: chasing fire

// It's like dancing when the song's already over Moving without getting any closer //

Minho is the love that addicts you no matter how it burns you. No matter how much you two claim to dislike each other, you can’t deny the attraction between you two. Your passion is as fiery as your personalities, but those same personalities will be the reasons you two end up clashing. You two just inevitably burn each other. But no matter what happens, he finds himself chasing you again. You two may annoy each other to the very ends of hell, but he always comes back to you. The timing might be completely off. It might be you two clinging to some sort of a love that you know you once had but can no longer feel. But he wouldn’t trade you for anyone else. He doesn’t want anyone else. He only wants you. 

Changbin: superhero

// 'Cause they say if you love her let her go And they say if it’s meant to be you’ll know //

Changbin is the love that most people never realize they have. He didn’t realize it either until it was too late. He’s the kind of person to lose himself in what turns out to be less of a priority, but he’s also the kind of person to recognize his mistake. He’ll take the time to reflect on what he’s done and genuinely apologize. He’ll make sure to make it up to you, but he’ll also give you the time and space that you need to heal. If you decide that you don’t want him back... well, as much as he loves you, there’s not much he can do about that. You saved him, and he saved you. You two saved each other, and that’s the beauty of the relationship. But not all superheroes get happy endings. While he misses you, he knows that, if you two are truly meant to be, you will come back to him (even though he really doesn’t deserve you). He met a superhero. He lost you. He wants you back. 

Hyunjin: there’s no way

// We just dance backwards into each other Trying to keep our feelings secretly covered //

Hyunjin is the love that attracts you like a magnet. Loving him is a whirlwind of emotions all at once, and, no matter how far apart you’re driven, you always find your way back to each other. There’s a constant push-and-pull feeling between you two, almost like a dance. Truly like a magnetic: when you’re on opposite sides, you’re put together, but you can’t actually show that you love him. You want to love him, but you can’t. He wants to love you, but he can’t. Just when you two can finally reach each other, you’re pulled away again. You want to touch, but you can’t. It’s the kind of love that takes times and persistence, but the shared glances across the room tell the story of a love that is destined to be. The hardest part is being able to reach other. 

Jisung: paris in the rain

// Getting lost late at night, under stars Finding love standing right where we are //

Jisung is the love that exists no matter where you are or what you are doing. It’s being in love no matter where you two are and no matter who’s watching. Anywhere becomes romantic; you don’t need fancy cars or expensive restaurants to know that he loves you. He knows that you love him back (although there are some days where he cannot fathom why on earth someone as perfect as you would even bother with him). People tell him that that feeling of being in love--the “honeymoon” stage--eventually fades away, but he’s convinced that that’s not the case with you. You make him fall in love with you again every day. It’s in the small things that you do--the way you laugh, the way you encourage him, the way you kiss him, the way you tease him. It’s everything about you, and he knows that he doesn’t care about anyone else’s opinions when all he needs and all he wants is right in front of him.

Felix: never not

// There's a room in my heart with the memories we made Took 'em down but they're still in their frames //

Felix is the love that lasts for a lifetime. It’s the kind of unforgettable love, the one that only comes once in a lifetime, the one that makes you fully believe in soulmates for the first time in your life. It’s the kind of love that makes you believe in magic. It’s the kind of love that convinces you that you really can love someone for as long as you live. It’s the kind of love that squirms into every corner of your thoughts, but you don’t mind because, well, it’s him. But, as beautiful as it is, it’s just as tragic. It may have been inevitable; it may have been a choice. But, even if you two do decide to end things, no matter what the reason is, he will never not think about you. After all, he can’t. For as long as he lives, for as long as he loves.

Seungmin: easy love

// But that would be too easy, love And I don't want no easy love //

Seungmin is the love that is difficult. As contrary to the song title, the love between you two is not easy in any sort of way. The easier solution would be for you two to find other people. But he’s a little bit too stubborn for that. After all, no life is without its challenges; you just happen to be his. His love for you is what makes him stay through everything, all of the trials that life throws at you. You have this kind of effect on him that no one else really can, and, frankly, he’s addicted to you. Still, he’s in love with you and only you, and nothing can really change that. He could try to leave and just walk away from you, but he knows that he won’t be gone for long. You know it too. Because, while he’s more on the savage side of Stray Kids, he is still very affectionate to the people that he cares about. He may struggle to show it sometimes, but he truly is in love with you. 

Jeongin: i like me better

// Midnight into morning coffee Burning through the hours talking //

Jeongin is the love that you find in your best friend. Adventures are a must with pictures all along the way. The air around you two is filled with contagious laughter as you find amusement in the ordinary. You two are just better when you’re together, and that’s something no one can deny. Pulling faces at each other from across a room, showing up at each other’s houses with “borrowed” hoodies to return since the smell has left, fighting over the last slice of pizza. But also crying in each other’s arms, confiding in each other when you’re scared, spending countless sleepless nights together just talking to each other. You’re his best friend and yet so much more than that. You complete him in ways he can’t explain, and he loves himself when he’s around you. Because you bring out this side of him that no one else had ever been able to. 

[straykidsramblings]

supermarket flowers.

bad boy!seo changbin x fem!reader feat. 00 line | modern!au

word count: ~9K words

genre: angst; light fluff

warnings: violence; mention of death

summary: Changbin didn’t believe in angels until he met her. She was one weird angel.

i.

Man, I really screwed up this time.

Delivering one final kick to Changbin’s abdomen, his attackers rose to leave his broken and bruised body in the cold, dark alley. Changbin struggled to rise from the filthy ground. First, he needed to focus his mind. Everything was much too cloudy from the intense beating he had received only minutes earlier. Every muscle in his body ached as he situated himself upward into a sitting position. He hissed as pain shot through his abdomen.

All of this because of some stupid bike that I didn’t even take.

To his left, he heard the sneering of the attackers as they left on their motorcycles; to his right, he heard the bustling of the city. He knew the city-dwellers could see him, and he also knew that they didn’t care. Changbin attempted to take a deep breath, only to feel a striking pain in his abdomen region. He tried his best not to regurgitate whatever food he had in him. After a couple of seconds had passed, the impulse had subsided, and Changbin rested his eyes.

Maybe today will finally be the day…

He let the fatigue, pain, and emptiness wash over him. Changbin was fully expecting to never open his eyes again until he heard the voice of a unknown girl all too clearly.

“I’m not just going to ignore someone who needs help!” she cried out, presumably to a friend. Had she been talking about him?

“[name], that looks like Changbin Seo!” a male voice answered her, erasing any doubt in Changbin’s mind that she had been referring to anyone else. “People like us do not get involved with people like Changbin Seo.”

Changbin almost managed a laugh at the words that he had just caught. After all, it was only the typical excuse people used to not help him, to walk by and carry on with their lives and attempt to make themselves feel better. No one wants to be involved with a delinquent.

“Well then, maybe we’re not as much alike as we thought, Jisung,” the girl answered her friend. 

No one but weirdos.

He figured she would leave if he just managed to play dead (that wasn’t hard; he practically was), but her quiet footsteps only sounded more clear with every passing second. Judging by the sound of multiple pairs of feet, there must have been several people in her group. Having not opened his eyes, Changbin couldn’t tell the exact number of people, but he knew exactly when she had reached him. The natural body heat that radiated off of her warmed his side. It was only then that Changbin realized that he had been cold.

“Changbin Seo?” Her voice was as gentle as water as she whispered to him. Changbin allowed several seconds to pass, not reacting in the slightest. She’d have to leave at some point.“I don’t think he’s conscious.”

For a time, Changbin couldn’t hear anything. He knew she was still beside him but had no idea what to expect from her until she placed two warm fingers on the side of his neck. They wandered aimlessly.

Her guessing turned frantic as she called out to another of her party. “Felix, I can’t-I can’t find a pulse.”

That’s because you’re looking in the wrong spot.

“Here, let me,” Felix offered. 

Another pair of feet jogged to Changbin’s free left side. Felix’s hands were not as gentle as [name]’s but definitely more expert. He managed to find Changbin’s pulse in a matter of seconds, [name] waiting anxiously on the other side. Her hands rested on Changbin’s left arm. He couldn’t tell if her grip was to reassure him or herself.

Felix announced, “He’s got a pulse. He’s alright.”

Changbin could almost see the relief on [name]’s face albeit he had no idea what she looked like. He couldn’t help but wonder why she cared.

“Seungmin, call an ambulance. Quickly, please,” [name] directed towards another member of her friend group.

Alarm shot through Changbin at the idea of being admitted to another hospital. He would rather show them that he was, in fact, conscious instead of going to a place that reeked of death to him. 

He grunted as he used what little strength he had left to grip onto [name]’s wrist. One of her friends shrieked; another tried to yell a warning. Changbin could feel the girl’s natural impulse to pull away, but he held his grip. He couldn’t let go, not until he told her.

“No hospitals,” Changbin muttered. Every word pained him to say. “Please…”

At his voice, [name] stopped reacting. Changbin couldn’t tell what she was thinking, so he chanced a glance. Perhaps, that was the best mistake he’d make in his life. Finally opening his brown eyes, he looked up to see an angel descending from the polluted sky above him. Her hair framed the sides of her face. [eye color] eyes stared down at him with an emotion he couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t exactly pity, it wasn’t fear, and it wasn’t guilt. He felt a tug on his heartstrings as he slowly registered what she was feeling. When was the last time someone had looked at him with sympathy, with compassion? Changbin couldn’t remember.

“Okay,” she answered, her voice as soft as when she first spoke to him. He released his grip on her wrist, and she held his right hand in hers. “No hospitals, I promise.”

As a smile dawned on her features, Changbin felt himself give in to hope. The warmth transferred from her fingers. Exhausted after fighting a physical and mental battle, Changbin fell into [name]’s chest as he blacked out. The last thing he remembered was the feeling of a will to live.

Perhaps one more day wouldn’t hurt.

The couch Changbin woke up on was much softer than the cold ground he fell asleep on and almost as soft as the chest he fell into.

The memory shocked him awake as he shot up. He did not recognize the apartment he was in. Compared to his own, this place was much warmer. The curtains were pulled back from the windows, actually allowing light to enter the room. The black couch had decorative gold pillows (heck, Changbin even had a blanket on top of him). Whoever lived here must have liked plants. Black and white pictures hung on the walls, held by black frames. On the coffee table next to him, Changbin noticed the only color photograph of a boy and an almost familiar girl whom he came to recognize as [name]. The white walls suddenly seemed to enclose him. Although the colors were so similar to his, there was something about this place that made it seem… lived in.

He tried standing, only to fall back into the couch that he had found himself on before. He did not have the strength he was used to. No one else seemed to be home at the moment. Now was probably the only time that he would be able to make an escape. Standing up this time was more of a success although his body ached in the process. In the silence, Changbin’s ears twitched as he caught the sound of a door opening.

Emerging from a bedroom was a sleepy girl, clad in a sweatshirt that was definitely too big and sports shorts. Rubbing her eyes as an attempt to wake herself up, she waddled over to the kitchen and got herself a glass of water. Her back turned toward him, Changbin watched with fascination; she had completely overlooked him. 

Changbin recognized the girl as the angel who had saved him yesterday, same hair, same [eye color] eyes… he assumed. He was about to sneak out when her head snapped upwards. Changbin naturally flinched because of the sudden movement. He watched her glance around at her surroundings, sensing that something was quite out of the ordinary. Finally, she turned around to meet his gaze. 

Changbin felt like he was suddenly under a microscope as her [eye color] eyes examined every part of him. He didn’t move. Maybe it was the fact that it was in the early morning, but Changbin couldn’t read her at all. Nothing about her stance, nothing about her countenance, nothing about her eyes expressed fear. Finally, breaking the silence between them, she smiled the same smile that he had seen last night. There was something about that smile that threw him off, and he couldn’t quite explain it.

“Oh, you’re awake!” she cheered, setting her glass of water on the countertop by her hip. “I figured you’d try to leave as soon as possible.”

That was my every intention.

Changbin stayed silent, not wanting to reveal anything more than necessary. He had no intention of staying. He’d never have to see (or bother) her again. Still, he was curious. 

“Aren’t you scared?”

The question escaped his lips before he could stop it. Keeping his exterior as cool, calm, and collected as possible, he watched her head tilt to the side, her hair following suit. 

“Of you?” He nodded. “Do I have reason to be?”

Well, considering the fact that you’re alone in an apartment with a known delinquent whom you found literally half-dead yesterday, yeah.

Due to her sudden giggles, Changbin wondered if he said that aloud. No, it had to have been in his thoughts. She was just weird. Or maybe his expression gave away more than he had intended.

“Besides, I have Hyunjin,” she answered with a wink.

Hyunjin? Who the f—

“Here, I’ll go get him,” she offered, skipping to another room. “Hyunjin!”

They stayed in separate rooms, Changbin noted. Not that he cared. He was just interested (unless that meant caring).

Changbin wondered why he made no action to leave during the small gap of time she gave him. Instead, he sat back down on the couch and waited to see what kind of “Hyunjin” would wake up. He couldn’t say he was surprised when he did see him. Tall, strong, and handsome, Hyunjin walked into the living room groggily, following the sound of [name]’s pattering feet. He was dressed in grey sweatpants and a white shirt and a silver necklace (Changbin wasn’t sure if he slept with it on or if he had taken the time to put it on). To his side was a small dog that [name] scooped up into her arms.

“Good morning, Kkami,” she cooed to the small animal. Rubbing her nose against its, she released him back to the ground. “Changbin, this is Hyunjin.” Hyunjin waved sloppily, leaning his head to rest on [name]’s shoulder. He clearly did not want to wake up. “And my name is [name]. You said no hospitals yesterday, so we just brought you back to our apartment. There weren’t any bad injuries, so, as long as you’re not bleeding internally or something, you’re all good.”

Hyunjin nudged her with his elbow. “[name], you can’t just say that kind of stuff.” He talked in a hushed voice as if he was afraid that Changbin could hear him. Looking at him for a few seconds longer, Changbin could detect that he was at least uncomfortable around him unlike his counterpart.

“Why not? It’s a genuine concern,” [name] shrugged. She was just too carefree, wasn’t she?

Changbin watched the bickering go back and forth between the two. It was almost as if they forgot he existed; they probably wouldn’t have even noticed if he just walked out of the front door right now. It was clear that the two were completely comfortable around each other, a luxury Changbin hadn’t felt in years. Looking at them closer, the sweatshirt [name] had on was most likely Hyunjin’s.

 His thoughts were interrupted by a small weight that had landed on his lap. The dog, Kkami, stared up at him. Changbin didn’t even know that he was smiling and petting the animal until he heard [name] exclaim. 

“Kkami likes him!” she cried, running over to the couch and sitting down next to Changbin before Hyunjin could grab her. “Isn’t he just the cutest little thing?”

Although her attention was completely on the dog, Changbin couldn’t help but notice how close she had gotten to him. The physical contact was the bare minimum, their shoulders touching with [name]’s face a little bit closer than most people because she was interested in the small dog on his lap. Still, with most people steering clear of his path before he was even close to them, Changbin hadn’t seen someone so relaxed with him in a long time. This girl really was weird. 

He caught eyes with Hyunjin who had walked around to the other side of the couch. Although he didn’t sit down with the other two, Changbin could tell he was already outside of his comfort zone. He directed his question toward him.

“Are you two dating?”

[name] was the first to laugh. “No way! Hyunjin and I are like brother and sister. We practically grew up together. It’d be too weird for us to be dating.” 

Judging by Hyunjin’s smile, [name] was speaking for both of them. Changbin didn’t feel relieved exactly, but his curiosity definitely went away. 

“Anyway, why don’t we all eat something? Hyunjin’s mom visited yesterday and brought us a bunch of side dishes. She’s the best cook. You’ll love it,” [name] assured him, rising from her spot on the couch. “I’m sure it hurts for you to get up right now, so just sit tight. We’ll get the stuff for you.”

Changbin really did have every intention to leave, but he found himself staying for breakfast and then lunch and then dinner. His body was still too sore to be able to escape, so he also spent the night. Hyunjin allowed him to sleep with Kkami in an attempt to make him feel more comfortable and assured. Changbin supposed it did help.

The process repeated for several days which was much longer than Changbin had expected in the first place. The days turned into weeks even after he had healed, and the weeks turned into months. For whatever reason, they didn’t kick him out or even indicate that he was a burden. At times, he did leave for a couple of days, but he would always find his way back to the small apartment, and they always welcomed him back as if he had just gone to the grocery store. Every time he walked through the front door (using the spare key that they hid in a plant just outside the door), he would breath a sigh of relief. With every day that passed, Changbin felt the tension in his body loosen. He was beginning to consider the small apartment his home which was both scary and exciting.

He learned that Hyunjin and [name] were still in university and that they both worked part-time (along with the other friends that Changbin had met the night they found him). At first, their friends were hesitant to open up to Changbin, but [name] reassured them all many times that Changbin was “quite the opposite of all of the rumors.” He visited them at the cafe rather frequently as he didn’t really have many other places to go. [name] always served him a hot americano with whipped cream that Hyunjin claimed was the best drink on the menu. He drank it without complaints. Clearly an easily distracted girl, [name] would often converse with Changbin instead of making drinks for the other customers. Although her managers would joke that she was going to get into trouble, no action was ever taken.

Changbin learned a lot about [name] [last name] in those months.

[name] was just as stubborn and trusting as she was the first night he had encountered her. Unbothered by rumors or stereotypes, she carried on in her own carefree, happy-go-lucky way wherever she went. She was the kind of girl who attracted everyone’s attention when she stepped into a room. She was the kind of girl whose smile lit up the room and elevated everyone’s spirits. She was the kind of girl who was not afraid to speak her mind no matter the consequences. You never knew what to expect from her. She was completely unpredictable.

And in turn, [name] learned a lot about Changbin Seo in those months.

Changbin was just a misunderstood boy with a lonely background. Having to fend for himself in an already cruel world, he fell to petty crimes just to survive on the streets. The night that she had found him, he had been falsely accused of stealing a bike from a gang. He couldn’t attend college because he couldn’t afford it, but rumors spread even on the college campus. But he wasn’t like the persona that the university portrayed him as. At first, he was quiet, hesitant, and, although he kept asking if [name] was afraid of him, he was the one who was afraid of her. He knew she could see the fear in his eyes whenever she left for classes or work, the fear of being abandoned. She always smiled at him, the same smile that threw him off so many times, and promised to come back. After he had finally opened himself up to her, he revealed that he was quite goofy and a little loud. But she never called him annoying or stupid or useless. She made him feel loved.

And he knew he loved her in return.

Was it possible to fall in love with someone who you weren’t even in a relationship with? Changbin had no idea. He only knew that he hadn’t felt this way for anyone else. If love wasn’t the word to describe this feeling, then there was no word to describe this feeling.

ii.

The day was supposed to be just like any other day, but, thinking back on it, Changbin supposed things had been working out too well for him. The sun shone bright, unbothered by the clouds that threatened to hide it. He even welcomed the noise of people as they walked on the streets in the small city. With the autumn breeze, the weather was perfect for his daily dose of hot Americano with whipped cream, and he was also looking forward to seeing a certain barista. Each of his steps was light as he reached the familiar cafe. He’d become accustomed to the stares as he opened the door, letting the warm air hit him like a truck.

Changbin fully expected to be greeted by [name]’s loud voice and was only disappointed to hear Felix. Where was she? Had he gotten her shifts mixed up?

“If you’re looking for [name], we don’t know where she is either,” another male answered his unvoiced question. It was Seungmin.

“She was supposed to be here about an hour ago,” Jisung recalled, leaning onto the counter as Changbin stood to say his order. Suddenly, he gasped, “Speaking of which, Hyunjin was supposed to be coming in with her, but he’s not here either. Do you think they decided to play hooky together and go on a date?!”

Seungmin smacked the back of his head. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Jisung pouted but didn’t say anything. Knowing Changbin was going to get the same drink he always did,  he went to make it as Seungmin punched the order into the register. With a huff, Changbin paid for his drink, knowing that Jisung didn’t know the right amount of whipped cream to put in like [name] did. As he took his receipt from Seungmin’s hands, a winded Hyunjin ran into the cafe, earning the stares of customers and workers alike. His expression was enough to set Changbin on edge.

“[name],” he began. With every step forward that Hyunjin took, Changbin felt his heart beat harder. “She’s in the hospital.”

Time and space around Changbin stopped. Compared to the intensity of his heartbeat only seconds earlier, his heart had practically stopped. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t understand anything. No one else seemed shocked.

“Judging by your reaction, it looks bad this time,” Seungmin commented.

This time?

“Normally, there are signs when something’s about to happen, but this was just out of the blue. We were walking, and-and, all of a sudden, she needed to use the building next to us for support. Her legs were shaking real bad, and she looked nauseous,” Hyunjin recalled. His right hand was coiled around his left wrist, gripping it tightly in an attempt to steady his shaking. “She’s been fine for so long that I wasn’t expecting this at all. I-I tried to grab her before she fainted, but she hit her head against the brick. I picked her up and ran to the hospital as fast as I could.”

Changbin couldn’t understand what Hyunjin was saying at all. [name] [last name], the upbeat girl who lived without a care in the world, fainted? She’s in the hospital?

“She’s been fine for so long”?

“What’d Dr. Kang say?” Felix asked, walking back to the counter after delivering an order.

Changbin had never felt so distanced from their group. Jisung, Felix, and Seungmin listened closely to Hyunjin’s words with fairly level heads. Meanwhile, Changbin couldn’t even grasp the idea of [name] needing to go to the hospital.

“She said that [name] would be okay, but they’re gonna keep her for a couple of days just in case,” Hyunjin answered. He wouldn’t look anyone in the eyes. “God, I feel so stupid. I should’ve made sure she was taking her medication.”

“Okay, what the hell is going on?” Changbin finally asked.

The younger boys paused as if they had finally remembered Changbin’s existence. Jisung was the first to speak.

“She didn’t tell you…?” he questioned, glancing at the other boys as if they had answers.

“Again, tell me what?” Changbin demanded. He could hear the urgency in his own voice, and he was only more frustrated when none of the other boys would explain anything. Finally, he turned to Hyunjin. “Take me to her.”

“I-I don’t really think—“

“Let me see her, dammit, Hyunjin!”

Changbin’s voice cracked as he shouted for the first time around them. He didn’t even care about the stares that the other customers were giving him. He was scared, scared that he was about to lose the only light he had left in this cruel world. He didn’t want to be alone again. He couldn’t lose her, and all of this talk about hospitals, fainting, medication—knowing her apparently go-to doctor by name—was terrifying. He balled his hands into fists in an attempt to hide his shaking. He steadied his voice before speaking again.

“Please, Hyunjin,” Changbin begged. His wide eyes sparkled with tears. “I need to see her.”

Hyunjin was clearly reluctant but agreed to take him nonetheless. The silent walk to the hospital was unbearable. Changbin’s mind was rapid, thinking of any and every possible situation that could’ve explained what was happening. He thought of better ones; he thought of worse ones. The latter, he tried to ignore, but they were desperate for attention. He wasn’t even watching where he was walking, but he didn’t need to. The grave expression on his face was enough to make the crowds part for him.

The sound of sliding doors was the first thing that distracted Changbin’s mind from his thoughts. Next was the sound of nurse telling the duo where they needed to go without even needing a prompt from Hyunjin.

In those moments, Changbin remembered why he hated hospitals. The white walls trapped him in this building of death. He could hear people crying as they mourned over the loss of a loved one or a loss of hope. The negativity ate at his heart. His breathing turned jagged, his head started ringing, his heart kept beating so noisily, but everything came to a stop when they arrived at room 325. Opening that door was the hardest thing he’d done.

“I already told you, Dr. Kang,” [name]’s light voice laughed. He’d never heard her sound so strained before. “I’ve been taking the medications properly.”

“Hyunjin says otherwise,” another female voice, presumably Dr. Kang, rebutted. “Speaking of Hyunjin, I’m guessing that’s him now.”

At this, she looked at the entrance of the door fully expecting Hyunjin, only to be greeted by the sight of a stranger.

“Oh.”

Hyunjin’s voice came from behind Changbin. “It’s okay, Dr. Kang. He’s actually here for [name].”

“Someone’s here for me?” [name] asked with a giggle, finally turning her head to look at the door of the room. “Oh.”

When they made eye contact, Changbin felt his heart plummet. [name] had an IV attached to her arm as she sat in the hospital bed. A mountain of pill bottles sat on the stand beside the bed. Her [eye color] eyes looked sunken in. He’d never her look so fragile, so exhausted. It was hard to even imagine her as the same person who would wake him up by balancing slices of bread on his face or plopping Kkami on his chest.

“Hey, Binnie,” she offered with a sheepish smile.

“How’s she looking, Doctor Kang?” Hyunjin asked as he and Changbin finally entered the room.

The doctor cleared her throat. “Well, compared to last time we had her in, she’s worse. Too much so. We’ll need to keep her here longer than originally expected. We’re going to start a new treatment and, hopefully, try to get a surgery done.”

Hyunjin cast his gaze to [name]’s figure, but she only smiled at him. “Thank you, Doctor,” he murmured.

“Of course,” the woman responded. “I’ll keep you updated as we progress. But, [name], I’m going to need your help as well.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

With one last glance and a sympathetic smile towards Changbin, the doctor left the room. Hyunjin had taken a spot on the edge of [name]’s bed, adjusting the bed to let [name] rest against it while sitting up. Changbin watched from the entrance of the room as the two conversed casually, sharing dumb jokes and staring into each other’s eyes. He couldn’t stand it. It wasn’t because he was in love with her. [name], as a human being, had a right to love whoever she wanted in any way she wanted. The problem was that [name] didn’t seem to love herself.

“Is that it?” Changbin interjected, immediately putting an end to their conversation. When they turned their attention towards the door, the guilt in their eyes pushed him over the edge. “Do I get to hear all of this talk about treatments and surgery and not get a damn explanation about what the hell is happening?”

He wasn’t screaming; he’d never scream at her. But he sure wanted to release the anger he was feeling somehow. Eventually, he settled on digging his fingernails into his palms. The shaking had returned. Staring at the bed, Changbin cursed himself for ever beginning to care.

For the first time since they’d met, [name] looked at Changbin with an emotion close to guilt. She cleared her throat before glancing towards Hyunjin.

“Hyunjin, would you leave me with Changbin for a bit?” she requested with a soft smile. Sensing that Hyunjin was still hesitant, she reassured him. “I’ll be okay. No one’s dying yet. Why don’t you get yourself some water? You’re still a bit shaken up from earlier.”

Hyunjin gave her hand one last squeeze before leaving. The two were finally alone. Changbin had never wanted to run away more than in that moment. He wanted to know, but he didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to hear the words come out of her mouth.

“It’s a beautiful day outside,” [name] commented, interrupting Changbin’s thoughts before he went down the rabbit hole too far. “Why don’t we walk around?”

The smile that always confused him had taken its spot on her countenance once more. Changbin felt he would finally be able to decipher its meaning if he kept looking at it, so he averted his gaze to the window.

“Are you even able to walk around? You fainted, and you have an IV in your arm,” Changbin huffed.

“We could always take a wheelchair. And this,” she referred to the IV pole, “is movable.”

At the suggestion, Changbin found himself helping the girl into a wheelchair and pushing her down the crowded halls as she dragged her IV along. The notes from outside conversations overlapped each other, creating dissonance in Changbin’s ears. He tried to block out the noise. He blinked at the colorless venue he walked through, trying to find any sort of amusement from it. The inside air chilled his lungs. However, despite his hatred of hospitals, Changbin felt secure, and he knew that was due to her. [name] had her way of making everything seem better than it actually was, including Changbin himself.

[name] hummed to herself as the duo walked to the garden just out of the hospital. Her [eye color] eyes watched all of her surroundings with interest, anywhere but Changbin. The sun reflected in her eyes. Her feeble hand on the IV pole shook ever so slightly.

“Osteosarcoma.”

Changbin continued pushing the wheelchair around the walkway they were on. In fact, he didn’t say anything for a while; he just wanted to let her continue.

“That’s my condition. It’s not uncommon in my family, but, most of the time, we catch it early enough to simply remove the tumor before it becomes malignant. Mine happened to come a lot later than most of the others.”

“Does that mean we can still fix it?”

[name]’s pause clawed at Changbin’s heart, suffocating him. She avoided the question.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve had an accident. I just figured it was because of stress from college or lack of sleep… I don’t how far the cancer has spread. Doctor Kang is running a test with me later today. Honestly, Bin, I can’t promise anything.”

The two completed several laps around the garden in silence. Neither of them wanted to speak. Changbin was too angry to. He was angry at Hyunjin and the others for not telling him earlier. He was angry at her for pretending like everything was fine when she was suffering. He was angry at himself for allowing himself to, once again, care about someone who was only going to leave. So, on their way inside, back to Room 325, Changbin had come to a decision.

When they arrived, Hyunjin was waiting inside for his best friends. Upon hearing the door opened, he jumped up to help [name] get back to bed. In the mean time, Changbin stood by the door. He needed to keep his distance; he wouldn’t come any closer to this.

“Why did you save me that night?” he asked as Hyunjin adjusted [name]’s blanket. “Why would you make me live and make me care when you were the one who was going to die anyway?”

“Changbin!” Hyunjin snapped, a fire unfamiliar to his character sparking in his brown eyes. “Stop. She’s not going to die.”

“I wish I’d never met you,” Changbin spat.

No.

He didn’t mean it.

“I wish you would’ve just let me die back then.”

Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

She was the reason he was alive.

[name] stayed silent as she listened to him spit empty words of anger into her face. He knew (and she knew he knew) that she didn’t believe a single word that was coming out of his mouth. But she didn’t correct him. Not once. Instead, she offered him an apologetic smile.

“I never intended for this to happen. I’m sorry, Changbin.”

The smile on her face only made Changbin hate himself more. Her eyes were filled with the same guilt that he had witnessed earlier, and her smile was half the size of normal. She was in pain. He was in pain. In a fit of immature rage, he marched out of the door without so much as a look back. As he stomped out of the stupid hospital, Changbin knew he could no longer deny what that smile had meant from the very first time that they had met. He hated himself not realizing sooner that, with every smile, she was telling him that she loved him.

It had been a month since Changbin had seen [name]. Hyunjin mostly stayed at the hospital with her, only coming home occasionally to find Changbin diligently taking care of Kkami for him. The two didn’t talk much. Although they themselves had been close friends, Changbin’s outburst at the hospital had put a strain on their friendship. However, although Changbin refused to specifically ask, Hyunjin would always update him on [name]’s condition. Eventually, Hyunjin had had enough.

“You should at least go and see her,” Hyunjin began as soon as he stepped through the door.

Changbin hated how he wasn’t surprised. “I don’t deserve to.”

“This is where I try to drill into your brain that you do deserve to, but that’s not the important part for right now. [name] wants to see you.”

“It’ll only make it harder for us.”

“Oh, cut the crap, Changbin.” Hyunjin had finally cracked. “The girl you love could literally die any day now, and she wants to see you, but you’re refusing to go because you’re afraid.” He released a sharp sigh. Changbin had been planning on interjecting, but, after discovering that Hyunjin had known about his secret crush, he was too shocked to. “Listen, I understand that you’re scared. I’m scared too. I’m losing my best friend. But she wants to see you. She wants to be with you! I can only fill in that void so much. Please, Changbin. Just stop by.”

Only stopping to pet Kkami, Hyunjin left to go to work, leaving Changbin alone with his thoughts. He didn’t want to admit that Hyunjin was right, but, after staying stuck in his own pit of self-pity, he found himself walking to the door. He distracted himself during the walk by listing all the pros and cons and visiting. This could only do so much for him. As he passed the stores next to the hospital, a supermarket caught his eye. Flowers were on full display at the front, most likely for others like him who were on their way to the hospital completely empty-handed.

Dammit, I don’t even know what she likes.

“Well, I hope she likes sunflowers,” Changbin muttered to himself after purchasing a bouquet inside.

He was stuck at the front of the hospital, sunflowers wrapped in his arms like a swaddled child. He knew he didn’t want to go inside, but the strange looks from the people around him convinced him. To stall time, he asked the nurse at the desk what room [name] [last name] was staying in. To not surprise, she was still in Room 325. With a soft word of thanks, Changbin trudged to [name]’s room.

He could hear the seconds hand tick as he waited anxiously outside of the door. What if she was asleep? What if she was awake? What if she threw something at him? What if she didn’t want to see him? What if she did want to see him?

The sound of rapid beeping broke any spiral of thoughts that was forming in his mind. Now, he had only had one thought in his mind, and that was protection. He threw the door open, ignoring the scream from the nurse just outside. Right in front of his eyes, he witnessed [name]’s heart monitor failing. He didn’t even care about the fact that the sunflowers had fallen to the floor as he ran to her side.

“Nurse! Doctor Kang! [name]’s unstable!” Changbin cried out for anyone within the vicinity. He knew that they probably received alerts if something was ever to go wrong, but he needed to yell. He needed to get it out before it consumed him.

The rush of nurses that entered the room nearly overwhelmed him. In merely an instant, he was pushed to the side as they pulled the bed to wherever it was that they were going. Mindlessly, Changbin followed. The restlessness of the hospital only became white noise around him. He couldn’t even hear his own heartbeat. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion except Changbin. He hadn’t even seen her for the last month. He hadn’t even told her that he loved her. He hadn’t even said goodbye.

“We’ll need to perform an emergency surgery for Patient 4419,” Doctor Kang announced as she walked down the hall. She was clearly confused and in a rush. “I don’t understand. She’s been in a fair condition since she arrived. I don’t understand…”

The doctor’s voice trailed off as she entered into the surgery room, a place Changbin knew he wasn’t allowed in. Just like that, his angel returned to the white, blinding lights.

iii.

It had been a week, a week since the surgery, a week since Changbin had left the apartment. If he was more honest with himself, he would admit that being in the apartment was both torment and salvation to him. It was one of the last pieces of her that he had… and he hated that.

As Changbin lay on his couch, Kkami rested on Changbin’s chest, rising up and down with his steady breathing. Subconsciously, he wrapped his arm protectively around the dog. Hearing the lock unlatch at the door, he could only assume that Hyunjin had come home from work. How he was able to return to work so quickly, Changbin had no idea.

“Have you eaten yet?” Hyunjin asked without so much of a greeting to him or a glance at the couch.

Changbin supposed even Hyunjin was still suffering. He didn’t know why he had bothered to ask whether or not Changbin ate. They both knew the answer to that. Changbin answered him with silence.

“I’m going to go see her today,” Hyunjin announced. They hadn’t talked about her for the last week. “I’d like you to come with me.”

Changbin didn’t react. It wasn’t that he wasn’t listening; it was that he didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to see her. He desperately wanted to see her, but he knew that he had no right to. After the way that he treated her, he couldn’t bear to see her. After the things he said, he was too ashamed to speak to her. After deserting the last person he cared about, he didn’t want to leave her again.

Hyunjin walked up to the back of the couch, peering over the side to look at Changbin. To avoid the younger boy’s gaze, Changbin turned his attention towards the coffee table to his right. He remembered too late that the supermarket flowers were still slowly withering away on top of it. Their bright yellow had darkened, and they no longer held the same sunshine that her smile emitted. Changbin felt an arrow pierce his heart. He’d gone back to Room 325 to pick up the bouquet. He’d stood in Room 325 for hours afterward. He’d cried in Room 325 for the girl he loved.

“Okay,” Changbin agreed. Hyunjin visibly jumped at the sound of Changbin’s voice. “Just let me get changed first.”

He wanted to be more presentable if he was going to see her, not dressed as a slob who hadn’t left the house for a week. He’d kept his clothes in Hyunjin’s room, so, excusing himself for a minute, he quickly changed into a black turtleneck, a pair of black jeans, black dress shoes, and a black blazer. It’s not like he had any other colors anyway. After fixing up his hair, he put on a black watch, took his wallet, and walked out with Hyunjin.

The walk to their destination was silent. They only stopped by the same supermarket Changbin had been in a week prior to pick up a bouquet of [favorite flowers] as per Hyunjin’s suggestion. He was so confident about his choice unlike Changbin had been only seven days earlier. He hated himself for that.

After exiting the supermarket, they passed the white hospital where she had been for so long. Changbin had never hated hospitals more than in that moment. He couldn’t bear to look at it.

It was a five minute walk to the cemetery from there.

For the second time in his life, Changbin walked up to her grave. Memories of her funeral replayed in his mind. Countless people came. Countless people cried. Countless people grieved because the girl they loved had died.

At first, the boys stood there together, staring at the ground that held the person they cared about. Hyunjin gently placed the bouquet of [favorite flowers] on the soft ground. After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat. Changbin felt something tap his arm. He looked at it and saw Hyunjin handing him a white envelope. He really hated that color.

“She wrote this,” Hyunjin informed Changbin. “For you.”

Changbin knew he didn’t deserve to read it, but the desperate, selfish side of him wanted to. So, without saying a word, he accepted the letter.

“I promised her I wouldn’t give it to you until you came to see her of your own accord,” Hyunjin answered Changbin’s unvoiced question. With a sad smile and small sigh, Hyunjin looked at Changbin. “I’ll give you some time with her.”

As Hyunjin walked away, Changbin felt his body begin to shake. In a fit of rage, he held the paper high in the sky only to swing his arm down. His trembling hand refused to let go of the stupid envelope. As he released a scream into the empty graveyard, he fell to his knees on the ground next to her.

“How could you leave us?” Changbin asked, his voice cracking as the tears slipped down his face. “Why did you leave me? I hate everything. I hate this cruel world that crafted me into someone I didn’t want to be just to survive. I hate the people who let rumors influence their opinions before they’d even seen me. I hate that damn hospital that only brings death and pain. I hate myself!”

His empty hand clutched at his heart. He gasped as his breathing hitched. He could no longer hold back all the pain that had built up in him for so long. He didn’t know how long he sobbed. The tears kept flowing like an endless stream of misery and guilt. He could hear himself yelling, but he didn’t even understand what he was saying anymore. Was he saying anything? Or was he just screaming?

Finally releasing the feelings he’d kept within for so long, Changbin was able to control his emotions. He looked at the name carved into the marble gravestone. Once more, the smile that had always puzzled him appeared in his memories, rolling like the filmstrip of an old movie. He managed a smile through the tears. No matter how much pain he was in, thinking of her always managed to make him smile.

“I was finally able to accept my cruel fate… and then you found me. [name] [last name], you were truly an angel on earth. You saw a good in me that no one else bothered to see. You brought me out of my lowest point and gave me the hope and love that I needed to live. When I looked at you, I could feel my heartbeat calm. When you curled up against me when you were scared, I wanted to protect you and make you feel safe and secure. When you were upset, I wanted nothing more than to see you smile. But now, you’re gone. Just like everyone else.”

He sniffled but didn’t bother to wipe away the tears that cascaded down his warm cheeks. Biting his bottom lip, he tried to steady his heartbeat. The scoff he released transformed into a chuckle as he realized he could finally say the words he’d wanted to say for so long.

“I loved you. I still love you. I love the way you would stick your toes under my shirt because your toes were cold and you refused to put on socks. I fell even more in love with you when we went out shopping for clothes for me and you managed to come back with five bags of stuff for you. You were so excited, so cute. I love the way you would just sit with me if you knew I was having a bad day, how we would just sit together in silence until I felt like talking. You were always so patient and understanding and everything I never knew I needed. I just wish I’d been able to tell you before you were gone forever. And I hate myself for not. You deserved so much better than this, [name]. I wish I could’ve helped you somehow.”

A breeze enveloped his broken figure. It was too cold to believe that [name] had anything to do with it, but Changbin still smiled.

“I’m gonna read this now if you don’t mind,” Changbin announced to the marble.

His fingers gently opened the back of the card before pulling out several papers from inside. When [name] [last name] had something to say, she’d say it, no need to doubt that.

 Dear Changbin Seo,

If you’re reading this, I guess that means I didn’t make it. And before I really start, I need to tell you: that’s okay. I fought my hardest fight yet, but the odds weren’t in my favor. I have lived my life the way I wanted to. After all, I expected a day like this would come. I only have one regret, and that regret is you.

I’ve always had a hole in my heart. If I’m completely honest, I don’t really know when it started, where it came from, or what was missing in the first place. I had never felt like I was a complete person. If anything, I felt like I was acting like someone I wasn’t, always smiling and happy. I wouldn’t allow myself to be sad because too many people would comment. They would ask me why I was sad as if I was only allowed to be the happy-go-lucky, carefree girl they all thought I was. But there was a time in my life where I felt like I was at my lowest point, my breaking point. That was when I saw you. You, a broken man left to die in an alley with no one to care. I saw me in you, and I wanted nothing more than to save you. In the end, though, you ended up saving me.

It was selfish of me, I admit, but I wanted you to live. So, ignoring the fact that the traffic light had just turned green, I ran across the street (my four musketeers faithfully following me, haha!) to a boy I’d only heard rumors about. And there you were. When I thought you weren’t breathing, I’d never felt more scared. But you were breathing. And then, you were moving. And then, you spoke to me. That’s when I knew that you were what was missing from me.

It’s hard to explain. I myself don’t completely understand it. If there was a way to explain, the closest comparison would be a soulmate. I can’t say that science confirms the existence of soulmates, but I believe they do exist. You were mine. I don’t know if you know this, but, when I first saw your face, my heart skipped a beat. I had trouble finding my breath. I felt like I was losing myself in you. But, at the same time, I felt as if I had just come home. Changbin, I came home to you.

The months that you, Hyunjin, and I spent together were the best months of my life. I was genuinely happy. I’d never felt more comfortable with anyone else. I’d never felt more like myself, like I was actually complete. Before, everything was strained. Even on my worst days, I couldn’t admit that I was upset. But, with you two, I had freedom to express myself without feeling pressured. Every day was like magic. Even when we fought, even when Kkami ran away, even when I almost got fired for talking with you too much, even when our air conditioning broke on the hottest day of summer, I still had fun.

Do you still remember when Hyunjin’s mom brought us those side dishes? Those were good, weren’t they? She really is an amazing cook.

Do you still remember when we took a trip to the beach? The water was so cold! And you and Hyunjin threw me into the ocean, you traitors!

Do you still remember our Friday night movie nights? I still can’t believe we watched all of the Harry Potter movies in one sitting. Hyunjin and I ended up calling off work the next day though. Oops.

Do you still remember when we couldn’t sleep so we would go to the rooftop with blankets and name the constellations? I can’t even count the number of times we accidentally fell asleep up there.

Do you still remember when I forced you to participate in a talent show with me because I wanted the prize? I didn’t even know you could rap! I just wanted the camera. Thank you for that, by the way.

I remember. I remember everything. I don’t want to miss or forget a single moment because they’re all my precious memories with you. And Hyunjin, I suppose. Speaking of Hyunjin, please stay with him after I’m gone. He’s very clingy and needs a lot of love and affection or else he’ll be deprived of energy, haha! He’ll be lonely without me around, so please stay in the apartment with him. He’ll need another roommate anyway. You can take my room if you want. I’m sure the couch isn’t all that comfy.

In the end, I’m not sorry I was selfish back when we first met. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to experience all of that with you. But I’m going to be selfish one last time. I know you’re in pain. I know you’re angry at yourself and you’re blaming yourself and you’re hating yourself. I know that you feel just as devastated as you were the night we met. But I’m asking you to keep on living. For me. Live your life the way you want with no regrets, but keep living. Be the person that you were with me, not the person that they expect you to be. Besides, Hyunjin needs hugs from one of us at least.

I am sorry for the times I ate your leftovers because I ended up not liking my food. I’m sorry for drooling on you so many times. I’m sorry for hitting your arm with an apple (granted, you were supposed to catch it. I just didn’t know that you didn’t know that). I’m sorry for keeping my condition a secret. But, most of all, I’m sorry for not being honest with you or myself sooner. I couldn’t say it earlier; it wouldn’t have been fair to you. So, I’ll say it now.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you, Changbin Seo. I’ll say it as many times as I need to to make sure you remember.

Will you remember me?

I don’t think you’d let me forget.

Was I able to live inside your heart?

You barged right in without an invitation.

I hope I get to see you again before I’m gone.

I’m sorry I was too late.

But, if I run out of time before I do, don’t beat yourself up over it. You gave me so many happy memories. I want you to remember those and keep living.

I will.

Thank you, Changbin Seo.

I should be the one saying that.

I love you!

I love you too.

P.S. Inside this letter is one of my most precious treasures. There are more at home. Hyunjin can show you where I’ve hidden them. Take good care of it for me.

Curious, Changbin checked the envelope once more. He couldn’t differentiate the two whites for a moment. His fingers fiddled with the hidden present, gently tugging on it to pull it out of its encasement. He smiled as he flipped it over.

It was a polaroid of the two of them, taken with the same polaroid camera that he had won in the talent contest. It was the first picture she’d taken with her brand-new camera. [name] insisted to take one on the same day to commemorate the occasion. Her arm was wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him into her side. Her smile was as brilliant as it could be as she stretched the camera as far away as possible with her other arm to include every detail. Her [eye color] eyes reflected the bright sun. On the other hand, Changbin wasn’t looking at the camera. He was looking at her, his brown eyes filled with mirth and love.

A soft laugh filled the otherwise silent graveyard. His eyes filled with the same mirth and love as in the picture, he stood to his feet. He had loved her even back then. He just didn’t know. But a picture is worth a thousand words.

Even now, she was able to encourage him to be a better person than he believed himself to be. She would always have that kind of effect on him. After all, she was the reason why he could be a better person.

Changbin folded the letter before placing it and the polaroid back in the white envelope. He turned his gaze up to the sky and breathed in deeply. In that moment, he felt peace. For the first time in a long time, he was truly able to love himself. Sure, there were probably going to be times where he would fail, where he would lose his temper, or even doubt himself, but it was a process. Life was a process, and Changbin was finally able to move forward.

The sun warmed his cheeks as the clouds traveled past. The wind stopped in that moment of time. He took a deep breath in and held it before finally relieving the weight of the world from his shoulders. This world may have been cruel, but it was still beautiful.

[straykidsramblings]

thirty-one days. [day three]

Pairing: Best friend!Kim Taehyung x Fem!Reader (feat. Frat Boy! Jungkook) [college! au]

Genre: fluff; angst?

Word count:

Summary: after an exhausting day that asked too much of [name]’s mental fortitude, [name] found herself feeling stuck in a ditch. Thankfully, a call from her best friend manages to brighten what’s left of her day.

Author’s note: I usually write in the feminine third person, but feel free to change it to however you wish. I’ll keep reader anatomy mentions to a minimum if any at all. // yes, the gif has a meaning to it.

[ masterlist ]

january 17.

[name]'s [eye color] eyes had to read the time on her watch several times to see that it was too late to be awake on a Thursday night. Her feet dragged themselves back to her apartment dorm while she remained indifferent to the person trailing her in silence. Jeon Jungkook watched as his new friend suffered from the after-effects of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

[name]'s hands fiddled with the few keys she kept on her keychain, struggling to find the right one to unlock her apartment. After finding the silver key and hearing the door unlock, a wave of relief crashed over her. She stumbled into her apartment, leaving Jungkook without a word at his own apartment door. A pang of regret and guilt hit her heart, but at the same time, she was too tired to really think about it too much.

The first thing she did was remove her shoes. The cool flooring against her feet soothed the aching heat that her shoes had caused.

After that, she placed her bags on the closest elevated surface. This was her desk where she studied. 

Next, she changed into more comfortable clothing. She needed to get out of her coffee-stained white shirt. A sweatshirt was almost mandatory although her eyes did settle on a red hoodie, the red hoodie she had received only days ago. [name] debated when she would be able to return the hoodie, but it had been too long of a day for her to set foot out of her apartment again. Even if the owner of the hoodie lived literally right next door.

After grabbing a prepped snack and water, [name] set her food on the nightstand beside her desk. Her body collapsed onto the soft surface of her bed; the muscles in her body were finally allowed to relax. [name] adjusted her body until her exhausted eyes settled on the ceiling above her.

Thoughts of today ran through her mind...

The day began horribly with an unanticipated encounter with Jeon Jungkook. Her newfound confidence from only the day before had dissipated as soon as he flashed her a dazzling smile that could fool thousands. As soon as she had thought it, Taehyung's voice rang in the back of her mind, reminding her to be friendly. She smiled back awkwardly which only made him laugh. She fled as soon as she could.

Bad luck seemed to stalk her as she continued through her day. Her shift at the coffee shop was ruined by an obnoxiously loud group of children and their inattentive parents. The children were running around, screaming; they knocked down pictures and plants. [name] had to catch one of the plants before it fell and hit one of the children. The child was safe, but [name] ended up crashing into a table as she ran and dived to catch the pot. While Yoongi was distracted with treating [name], the parents grabbed the children and ran out of the coffee house as if their children had not been the cause of the ruckus. 

Because of the children, [name] had to stay at work longer to help clean the area up. She had barely enough time to eat and go to her class. Even then, she was late. She stepped into the classroom and immediately felt the attention on her. Humiliated by seeing everyone's eyes on her figure, [name] shuffled to her empty seat and sunk into it.

After the hour-long duration of the teacher consistently calling on her to answer questions, [name] could escape... only to go to another class. After another hour of information that she had already known, [name] turned to leave only to feel a hot liquid burn her. Recovering from the shock, she looked down at her white shirt to see a large coffee stain. The girl who had tripped and spilled her coffee profusely apologized, but the damage had already been done. However, it was an accident, and [name] forgave her before she put on her jacket and went to eat.

Winter was not as kind to her that day as the harsh winds battered her until she reached the food court. [name]'s mouth pooled with ravenous drool as she imagined the food and warm drinks behind the doors. Her freezing hands pried the final gate opened, and she stepped inside, the warm air burning her cold skin. Before she could even reach a plate, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Seeing Kim Namjoon's number on her phone, she could only assume one thing.

"Yes, Namjoon?" she asked, a sigh intertwined with her words.

"[name], I really hate to ask, but can you come back in today? Just to close up the store," Namjoon requested. His breath was shaky, gasping for air with every syllable. "Hoseok burned himself real bad, so Yoongi's taking him to the hospital."

The annoyance flood out of her and filled with concern for her friend. "Oh my word, is he okay? No, no, he's not okay, [name]. He just burned himself and is going to the hospital." She cursed herself beneath her breath as she turned around to reach for the door, bolting outside to the coffee shop once more. "Yeah, I'm on my way right now. I'll be there in five minutes."

"Thank you so much. I'm on my way to give you the key. See you there."

After a slow run to the empty coffee shop, [name] stopped just outside the building to catch her breath. The window caught her reflection, and she felt all of her energy leave her. She looked like a complete mess, hair tousled by the wind, cheeks dusted pink from the cold. Still, she forced her insecurities down her throat as she stepped inside the building. Namjoon was waiting for her with the key to close.

"Thank you so much, [name]." He offered her an apologetic smile; she knew he was trying. "I'm really sorry, but you're the only one I can trust with this." He held up the key before placing it gently in her awaiting palms. "I have to get down to the hospital to speak to the doctors. And possibly a lawyer, I don't know--"

"Namjoon," [name] interrupted, earning his attention immediately. "Go."

He thanked her again and went on his way to see his friend. As she watched him leave, [name] couldn't help but think that being the assistant manager must be stressful.

Her eyes examined the messy coffeeshop around her, books lying everywhere, chairs and tables all jumbled up. Not to mention, she'd still have to prepare for the opening tomorrow. As worried as she was about Hoseok, [name] felt sorry for herself, only for that pity to be replaced by guilt. After reassuring herself that she could handle anything, [name] set to work, cleaning, prepping, and even redecorating the coffee shop (only a little).

By the time she was done, the day had passed. [name] recognized that the food court was most likely closed at this point, but luckily, the coffee shop had some leftover pastries. Not very nutritious, but at the very least, she wouldn't starve herself. Namjoon wouldn't mind either since she came back to close by herself. Packing up two [favorite flavor] cakes, [name] locked up the store before finally heading back to her apartment.

Lampposts lit up her way, guiding her home. As she walked the lonely road late at night, [name] heard footsteps approach from behind her. Slightly quickening her pace, she continued her walk, otherwise unbothered. However, when the footsteps kept following her, [name] rounded a corner, waited, and jumped out, fully prepared to attack her stalker until--

"Wait!" 

The familiar voice of Jeon Jungkook prevented her from injuring him although she was clearly displeased.

"Really?!" [name] hissed at him, lowering her fighting stance. "You scared me." Despite her readiness to defend herself, she couldn't stop her body from quivering. She just hoped Jungkook hadn't noticed. "Why are you even out this late?"

Jungkook squinted his eyes, looking at the young woman like she was absurd. "I was walking home from work?" The slight rise in his voice as he phrased his statement in the form of an obvious question only irked her. "What about you? What are you doing out here so late? Especially alone."

[name] glared at him. "First of all, I don't see why I need to be walking with someone at night to feel safe. The fact that that is even a thing screams something about our society. Secondly, I, like you, am walking home from work."

Jungkook held up his hands in a defensive way. "Okay, okay. I never said you couldn't walk alone. I just want to make sure that you're safe, that's all."

It was thoughtful at the very least; guilt nagged at her heart again. Taehyung and Jimin used to always walk with her at night if they were out. When she closed, Namjoon, Hoseok, or Yoongi would walk her home (although, this time, there was a clear reason as to why they wouldn't be able to). When she was younger, Kim Seokjin, her neighbor, would scold her if he caught her at night by herself and go out of his way to make sure she didn't walk alone. Jungkook was just doing the same exact thing they were, yet she ended up snapping at him.  

"I know..." The words trailed off, ending in a mumble, but Jungkook didn't ask her to repeat them. Her words were barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry." 

Jungkook shrugged, brushing off the spat as if it never happened. "Now, may I walk you home?"

[name] bit back her sarcasm. "I don't see why not. We're walking the same way anyway. And... some company might not be a completely terrible idea."

Her [eye color] eyes avoided his as long as they could, but, as soon as she looked up at him, she regretted it. He was just staring at her with an innocent smile on his face that clearly expressed how elated he was at her words. 

"Let's just go," [name] muttered as she started walking again.

Jungkook didn't speak much on the way back, electing to simply hum to himself quietly. [name] supposed that was his way of being considerate and not forcing her into a conversation. He had a nice voice for just humming. Despite her fears, the walk back was quite... pleasant. But [name] had taken a toll from the day and was in no mood to hold a conversation. When they arrived home after what felt like an hour, [name] and Jungkook trudged up the staircase to their floor. The pastries threatened to slip from her hands with every step her feet took. When they had finally arrived at their next-door rooms, [name] entered without a "thank you" or a "goodbye," something she ended up regretting as her reminiscences of the day that had passed came to a close.

[name] rolled onto her side, facing Jungkook's room. Would it be awkward to call him out just to say the things she should have said? It was rude to have just left without saying anything... but it was already fairly late at night, and it might have been even ruder to wake him up.

Her conflict was put aside when she heard the familiar ringtone that belonged solely to her best friend, Taehyung. Although she was puzzled by his sudden call, she picked up.

"Tae?" she asked through the phone. "Why are you up so late?"

"Uh..." The brief silence only roused [name] suspicions. "My teacher was a jerk and assigned me a lot of homework."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh, who cares? I'm an adult. I'm allowed to stay up as long as I want and eat what I want when I want!"

His small outburst caused the young woman to laugh. She could practically hear him pout through the phone. [name] sat up in her bed, pulling her knees up to chest as her back leaned against the cool wall. 

"Speaking of things to eat..." Taehyung began once more. "Have you really eaten anything substantial for dinner? Or even today?"

[name] snorted, "I'm a grown adult! I'm allowed to eat what I want when I want."

"I'm going to take that as a no, but I appreciate you quoting me as an authoritative source," Taehyung answered. He chuckled lowly into the phone. "Well, it's a good thing I've sent an angel your way."

"Jimin?"

"No, but close. I've sent a deliverer for takeout to your apartment. And I already paid for it, so don't worry about needing to find cash or something."

[name] paused as the news settled in her mind. Then, she laughed. "Kim Taehyung, if you're going to be responsible for my eating habits, I'm allowed to be responsible for your sleeping habits." [name] sighed as her [eye color] eyes flashed towards the clock on the wall. "Besides, it's way too late to eat a meal. It wouldn't be good for me."

"And skipping meals is better?" Taehyung questioned. Before [name] could answer, Taehyung continued, "I always said I wanted you happy and healthy, not skinny. Make sure to eat your meals properly."

"Aye, aye, cap," [name] laughed with an eye roll. Not that he would know.  As a thought slipped into her mind, [name] bit her bottom lip. In the end, this would probably be the best thing to do. "Hey, Tae... do you have Jeon Jungkook's number?"

"...why?"

"I was kind of rude to him earlier. And I would apologize in person, but he's probably sleeping by now. I don't want to wait until tomorrow either because I might forget to, so I was thinking about just texting him."

"Oh! Okay, yeah. I'll text to you after we're done talking."

"You can't just tell me now?"

"If you think I have a phone number other than yours, Jimin's, my family's, and the emergency line in my head, you've got another thing coming."

"Fair. Alright, well, I'm going to hang up then because you need to get some sleep. Thank you for the food, Tae!"

"Anything for my best girl," Taehyung laughed over the speaker. Despite their physical distance, [name] could picture the goofy grin on his face as he successfully made sure his best friend ate her dinner (albeit at midnight). "Rest well, [name]."

"I will," [name] reassured him. "Goodnight, Tae."

"Goodnight."

[name] was the first to hang up, gently resting her phone on the table beside her. The white ceiling above her entranced her until she heard Taehyung's text tone, alerting her of Jungkook's number. Along with it, a smiley emoji. Simply Taehyung.

[name]'s fingers slowly typed the phone number into her contact list. That was the first step. And after, she drafted a text that would be decent enough to send to him as a first text. Before she could edit her text, a rapid knock on the door alerted her that her food had arrived. Being able to rest for several minutes gave [name] the energy she needed to retrieve her heaven-sent food. She thanked the delivery person before returning to her dark room (Taehyung had paid the tip as well... right?). 

[name] removed her favorite dishes from the bag that was holding them. She had no doubt that Taehyung had ordered all of her favorites... and that he would order too much for her to finish. But there was always a fridge for leftovers. It took her several minutes, but, after setting up her small fortress of food, she pulled out her phone once more.

Deciding what to text the person who is known to be one of the most attractive men on a large college campus was a fairly stressful way to end an already stressful day. Nonetheless, it was the situation that was put before her, and she had every intent to complete her mission.

She had already written the first draft, but, after re-reading, she decided that it sounded too awkward.

So, she wrote a second, but that one sounded like they'd known each other for years.

The third was better, but there was still something missing. She groaned as she hung her head low, running her fingers wildly through her hair. 

She needed to try again, and she did. This certainly was the best out of the four she had written (and it had only taken her a whole ten minutes). In the end, her fatigue won over her, and she elected to just send the last version. Exasperated from an exhausting day, she shoved one more mouthful of food into her mouth before sending the text.

[name]: Hey, Jungkook. It's [name]. I asked Taehyung for your number. I wanted to apologize for how rude I was today. I'm sorry. Thanks for walking me home. Goodnight.

She pushed the "send" button, and off it went. Not expecting an answer so late at night, [name] left her phone on her nightstand and began to put her leftovers into her refrigerator when she heard a text tone go off. The mad dash she made for the phone threw her off balance, and she tripped, quite literally, over nothing. Ignoring her fall to the best of her abilities (and the faint sound of laughter coming from the room next door), [name] checked her phone notifications.

Jungkook: Yeah, np! I'm sure it must have been a long day. You looked pretty worn out. Make sure you eat something and get some rest, [name].

Another text appeared while [name] was reading the first.

Jungkook: everything alright? I thought I heard a crash.

[name]'s eyes widened as she felt a familiar heat rush over her cheeks. This boy must have had a talent for seeing her at her worst moments and embarrassing her. She quickly made up an excuse, but would it convince him?

[name]: yeah, I just knocked a book off of my nightstand. Goodnight, Jungkook.

She had typed the words without thinking too much about them. It was only after he didn't respond for a minute that she had realized what she had done. Did the "goodnight" sound like they were too close? Had she overstepped her boundaries as a human being? She didn't even say "thank you" before, and now, here she was telling him "goodnight" as if they were best friends or more. Was he creeped out? Did he feel uncomfortable? Did he want nothing else to do with her?

The text alert sounded again, prompting [name] to shriek. Had she not covered her mouth in time, Jungkook might have managed to hear her. 

Jungkook: goodnight, [name]. Rest well :)

Oh. Okay. That didn't seem so bad. Maybe he wasn't creeped out. Maybe she had worried over nothing. Wouldn't have been the first time. As her worries started to leave her, [name] climbed into her bed, smothering herself under the blankets. Casting one last look at the red hoodie on the chair, [name] closed her eyes and allowed her body to rest.

Jungkook couldn't help but laugh when he heard the crash from [name]'s room right after he had replied to her text. Was the timing too perfect? Jungkook couldn't tell but decided to inquire. He decided to send one last text to Taehyung before getting ready for bed.

Jungkook: thanks for making sure she ate.

It took a few seconds, but he wasn't surprised to see Taehyung respond despite how late it was.

Taehyung: np. thanks for letting me know and for walking her home.

He left it at that and climbed into his bed. He turned the light from the lamp out, fully expecting to be able to sleep, but he was interrupted by a text alert. Curious to see who had texted him so late, he lazily grabbed his phone from the nightstand beside him. He couldn't say he was expecting an answer from his neighbor.

[name]:  yeah, I just knocked a book off of my nightstand. Goodnight, Jungkook.

Jungkook felt slightly disappointed. Could a book really sound like that? He didn't ponder over the matter too much, quickly turning his attention towards the last two words of the text. He didn't even realize he was smiling until he began to type back. 

Jungkook: goodnight, [name]. Rest well 😄

He was hesitant about the smile at the end, but, in the end, he elected to keep it. If he wanted to earn her trust, he was going to have to put in a little extra effort. Jungkook waited to see if [name] would respond for about a minute before he set his phone down and fell asleep.

[straykidsramblings]

thirty-one days. [day two]

Pairing: Best Friend!Taehyung x Fem!Reader [college! au]

Genre: fluff

Word Count: ~2.5K

Summary: [name] meets up with one of her best friends, Kim Taehyung, to talk to him about her recent agreement with Jeon Jungkook. Taehyung is not shy about how he feels about his best friend’s new neighbor.

Author’s note: I usually write in the feminine third person, but feel free to change it to however you wish. I’ll keep reader anatomy mentions to a minimum if any at all.

[0] [1] [2]

january 16.

[name] carefully peaked outside of her front door, doing everything in her power not to run into her new neighbor. After seeing that Jeon Jungkook was nowhere to be found, she slipped out of her apartment, locked the door, and tiptoed to the stairwell. Wednesday mornings meant coffee with Taehyung at 11:00 a.m. (while Jimin had a class), and at the moment, she was in desperate need of advice from her best friend. 

The walk to the frequented coffeehouse was a familiar one, taken every Wednesday and every time she had to work. Located in the small town next to their campus, [name] and her friends visited her workplace whenever they were in need of a coffee fix. Its humble beginnings had developed in a homely way, designed like a vintage cafe with white-washed brick walls and fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. Antique, white picture frames hung from one wall showcasing various people in laughing pictures; just below, polaroids of memorable moments hung from strings, held by turquoise and white styled clothespins. On the wall directly opposite, ledges jutted out to support various green plants that brought life to the cafe. Large windows allowed people walking on the street to peer into the cafe and see the barista counter, filled with various pastries. Pale turquoise decorated the brown wood of the seats and barista counter. The old-fashioned cafe was a secret place for [name] and her friends, a place where they felt secure.

Even winter seemed to take pity on [name] as she made her way to the cafe with little wind. Without the wind, she didn't feel as cold. Still digging her gloveless hands as deep as she could into her jacket's pockets, [name] made her way to where Taehyung would be awaiting her. Light snow graced her [hair color] hair, creating an air of fantasy and magic around her. Upon seeing the building in view, [name] took out her hands only to rub them together to create the friction necessary to warm them. She had assumed that her coat would be enough to keep her warm, but once again, she had assumed wrong. Shoving her hands back into her pockets, she quickened her pace. 

When she passed by the large windows of the cafe, she could see her friend inside, but he had yet to notice her. [name] couldn't help the smile on her face when she saw the familiar tuft of Taehyung's hair. When she finally opened the door and took her first step inside, the warmth of the coffee shop embraced her. An irritated voice growled when a rush of the cold breeze followed [name] inside.

"Close the door already, [name]," Min Yoongi barked from behind the barista counter. He shot her a glare which [name] elected to ignore. "I'm gonna freeze to death." 

[name] rolled her [eye color] eyes at the older boy but swiftly closed the door behind her anyway. "Can I have my usual please?"

"Do you want it hot or iced?" Yoongi asked.

[name] hummed. "Do you want the door closed or open?"

Yoongi pursed his lips and shrugged in approval before beginning to make his co-worker's favorite hot drink. After working together for so long, [name] and her friends at the cafe treated each other like siblings.

[name] knew she did not need to look for Taehyung; he would be in the same spot she was headed towards. A bay window sat at the front of the store, overlooking the street. A small ledge had been provided in the projected area, large enough to hold drinks, snacks, or books while people sat on white cushions, leaned against soft, turquoise pillows, and drowned in a sea of blankets. [name], Taehyung, and Jimin had claimed this spot when they first discovered the cafe, and it had been theirs ever since.

"Hey," [name] greeted Taehyung with a smile. She welcomed herself to the spot across from him, taking off her jacket.

Taehyung had been looking through pictures of clothing on his phone when she had arrived. Her voice caught his attention as he immediately looked up to smile at her. "Good morning!" Ever the bright one, Taehyung chirped when he saw his best friend.

[name] couldn't hide her giggle. "You know it's almost noon, right?"

Taehyung pouted. "Does that mean it can't be a good morning?"

The two laughed, and [name] situated herself under the blankets that the two shared. Extending her legs to cross Taehyung's, the two sat comfortably as they waited for Yoongi to bring [name] her drink. When he was finally finished, Yoongi approached their bay window with a platter. Two pieces of strawberry cake, Taehyung's favorite, accompanied the white teacup. Yoongi delivered them without a word while [name] thanked him. Despite his deceptive cold exterior, Yoongi really did care!

"So," Taehyung began, setting his plate on the counter next to his own coffee, "what kind of mess has my best friend gotten into this week?"

[name] groaned, "Tae, you have no idea. I really screwed up this time." She bit her lip, an action that did not go unnoticed by Taehyung. "I really should have been more careful around Jeon Jungkook."

Taehyung raised an eyebrow at this and calmly sipped his drink as if to say, "Go on."

[name] recounted the recent events of yesterday, the dreaded Tuesday and her morning class with Jungkook. She explained how she had every intention to avoid Jeon Jungkook, but fate seemed like it had other plans. It had to have been more than a coincidence that the two shared an 8 a.m. class. Because it was Taehyung she was speaking to, she felt comfortable enough to even tell him of the great embarrassment from an epic misunderstanding. Naturally, he laughed at her, and she pouted, but all was well. When she was explaining the verbal contract she had agreed to the day before, Taehyung grew quiet and stared out of the window to the snow-covered street. [name]'s [eye color] eyes watched him attentively, searching for any sort of reaction.

After what felt like an hour of silence, Taehyung finally spoke. "I think you should get to know him."

[name] simply stared at the boy. Wasn't that exactly the opposite of what she had said? Had he not heard a single thing?

Despite her silence, he was able to read her and understand exactly what she was thinking. "Yes, I was listening," Taehyung continued. "I mean, you remember how we first met." The memory pulled at Taehyung's lips, curving them into his signature smile.

[name] scoffed. "Yeah, that has got to be the most awkward first-meet on the planet. I mean, you were in a dress, and I was in a sumo wrestler costume. We were locked in the gym closet because I forgot to leave the door open, and we were trapped for at least two and a half hours. Jimin had to come to save us."

A genuine laugh filled the otherwise quiet cafe, bringing a smile to Yoongi's face as he re-organized the remaining pastries at the front of the store.

Taehyung nodded his head. "But before we met, I'm sure there were rumors floating around about Jimin and I. How we were supposedly doing some bad things during high school?"

[name] pursed her lips, glancing off to the road outside. "Yeah... but that's different, Tae. I mean, it's not like I met Jungkook when he was in a dress, and we were locked in a gym closet for two and a half hours, and I decided to become his friend." 

"Can you imagine what would've happened if the three of us hadn't become best friends?"

A sigh escaped [name]'s mouth as she relaxed the muscles she didn't even realize she had tensed. "I don't like to..." was the only answer that came from her mouth. 

Taehyung raised an eyebrow at her and shot her a knowing smirk. The girl pulled a face at her friend's arrogance as her hands fiddled with the coffee cup right next to her. She hadn't taken a sip yet, wanting to let the air cool the temperature before the liquid burned her tongue. 

Taehyung shrugged and ate the strawberry off the top of his piece of cake. "Look, I'm not telling you to become another one of his girls, or that you should develop romantic feelings for him because you live next door to each other and have an 8 a.m. class together every Tuesday. All I'm saying is that you should be friends with Jungkook regardless of rumors. He seems like he could be a good friend to have despite his supposed track with girls which he also claims is not true."

"Weren't you and Jimin the ones to tell me about the rumors and to avoid him?"

"Well, yeah, we told you about the rumors because you're our best friend and we don't want you getting hurt when you were so clearly falling for him the first day you met. But it was Jimin who told you to avoid him. I just said I'd fight him if he ever hurt you," Taehyung argued. He shoved a piece of cake into his mouth as if to prove a point. "If I were in your shoes, which I am not, I would be friends with him. But only friends!"

[name] took a bite of her own cake and nodded her head. "Trust me, if I even agree to become his friend, that's all we'd ever be."

"Good. You deserve a better guy than Jeon Jungkook, list or no list."

Taehyung's serious mode was off like a switch, flipping on his happy mode once more. Flashing her an eye-shut, toothy smile, he devoured the rest of his cake. He must've been holding back to give her the advice he wanted to.

[name] laughed at Taehyung's comment and continued eating her own cake. Of course, she had at least considered what it would be like to date someone like Taehyung or Jimin, and plenty of girls had inquired about whether or not her relationships with the two were genuinely platonic. In the end, [name] had decided that dating either of them would only cause a strain on their friendship, and that was one thing she was not willing to risk losing.

"You know, I really should find someone like you or Jimin," [name] concurred, biting the tines of her fork. "Someone who just gets me."

"And as someone who just gets you, I'm here to remind you that you don't even have time to date," Taehyung sang as he finished his coffee innocently. "You were the one who told us to force you to focus on school instead of boys."

"Yeah, I know," [name] groaned as she remembered the night she had made the request.

They finished their cake and coffee in silence, allowing the smooth music to lull them into fantasies. While [name]'s thoughts strayed to Jeon Jungkook more than once, Taehyung was considering what to do during the upcoming weekend. [name] stared at the winter wonderland outside, oblivious to Taehyung's gaze settled on her.

The afternoon was approaching, and for them, that meant either more classes or work. Taehyung and [name] rose to leave, [name] hurrying to put on her jacket before Taehyung could rebuke her for not. Meanwhile, a hat, a pair of gloves, and a scarf worked together to keep his body warm. Taehyung flashed her a quick smile before the two bid Yoongi farewell and walked out of the coffee shop.

Taehyung released a breath of white when the cold first hit him. [name] was ready to return to her apartment until he sighed. The familiar look of disappointment adorned his handsome features, this time accompanied by the shaking of his head.

"You really never learn, do you?" Taehyung questioned.

Before [name] could inquire of the meaning behind his comment (in truth, she knew what he meant), Taehyung had begun to unravel his grey scarf. [name] stuttered out mild protests which Taehyung willingly ignored. [name]'s bare hands struggled to resist the scarf, but once the warm fabric had graced her, she couldn't deny that the heat was comfortable.

"You're going to get sick if you don't take care of yourself," Taehyung reminded her gently, his hands still holding onto the ends of the long scarf.

[name]'s now-red nose twitched at his comment, but her lips remained sealed. That was until she noticed her best friend removing one of his gloves as well.

"Tae, I can't take your gloves--"

Taehyung exaggerated a scoff. "I never said I was giving you my gloves!" [name]'s questioning look was exactly his goal. His playful self returned as he continued, "I'm giving you one of them."

[name] stared at him in disbelief as he extended the glove to her. "And the point of this is...?"

"Put it on first," Taehyung insisted.

Not wanting to make it into a bigger issue than it should have been, [name] complied and wore the left-hand glove. Taehyung's next actions explained his thinking quite clearly. His now-bare left hand clasped her bare right hand, interlocking their fingers. Displaying his genius idea to her by bringing their entwined hands to her eye level, Taehyung giggled. [name] couldn't contain her own laughter.

"Okay, sure, Tae," [name] agreed to his strange but effective plan. "But you do realize that this means you have to walk me back to my apartment, right?"

"Well, yeah, I was going to anyway?" Taehyung raised his voice at the end to phrase his statement in the form of a question as if it was supposed to be obvious. "Don't I after every Wednesday coffee?"

[name] shrugged. "I suppose."

She tucked their hands into one of her coat pockets, wanting to keep their hands as warm as possible. Taehyung's body was pulled along with his hand until the two were walking with their sides touching. The walk back to her apartment was fairly short anyway, so [name] was unconcerned. Even before that, Taehyung was one of her best friends. This kind of stuff should be normal between best friends! Still, looking at Taehyung as a man instead of her best friend, [name] couldn't help her fluttering heartbeat. She only hoped Taehyung wouldn't be able to notice.

The two talked casually the entire walk home, conversing about classes or anything else that came to their minds at the time. Upon reaching [name]'s apartment complex, [name] returned Taehyung's glove to him and attempted to return the scarf. But he stopped her.

"Keep it," Taehyung told her. "You only remember to wear things when they're not yours. Besides," he tapped her nose lightly, "it looks cuter on you anyway."

He gave her a smile and went on his merry way, leaving [name] to watch him in shock. Even after years of knowing him, he still managed to surprise her. As Tae's silhouette disappeared into the grey January day, [name] walked confidently to her apartment, no longer afraid of meeting Jeon Jungkook.

[straykidsramblings]

thirty-one days. [day one]

Pairing: Frat Boy!Jungkook x Fem!Reader [college! au]

Genre: fluff

Word Count: ~2.5K

Summary: An exhausted college introvert who wants nothing more than to be left alone, [name] gives Jungkook thirty-one days to prove to her that they should be friends. Jungkook has other plans on his mind: to make her fall for him in thirty-one days.

Author’s note: I usually write in the feminine third person, but feel free to change it to however you wish. I’ll keep reader anatomy mentions to a minimum if any at all.

[0] [1] [2]

january 15.

[name]’s hands worked through her hair, rubbing the towel along her scalp to dry the [favorite shampoo]-scented hair. The sweatshirt she specifically bought one size too large, smothered her in a warmth that she adored. A quick workout followed by a soothing shower was the perfect way to start her morning... except for the fact that it was 7:30 in the morning and she couldn’t exactly get much sleep due to the gnawing reminder that Jeon Jungkook was sleeping right next door.

As stubborn as they come, [name] had refused to listen to her best friends, Jimin and Taehyung. About many things, really, but two were plaguing her current mental state.

A) Jimin warned her to not take an 8 a.m. class, but did she listen? No. Did she heed the advice of the older student, Yoongi? No. Did she learn from laughing at Taehyung as he made the same mistake last semester? Apparently not. Apparently, [name] [last name] was just as dumb as she was stubborn and, because of this, she doomed herself to an 8 a.m. class every Tuesday morning with one of the worst teachers her university had to offer.

B) Jeon Jungkook. Though the words hadn’t been said the night before (after all, you can’t just gossip about someone while they’re standing right in front of you), her best friends’ expressions should have been enough for her. Upon first meeting Jungkook, [name] was absolutely taken with his cute gentleman act. As it turns out, that’s all it was: an act.

With a sigh, [name] reached for her phone to read the texts from her best friends from last night again.

ChimChim: don’t say we didn’t try to warn u

Tae: yeah!! but u were so uwu about him tht we couldn’t ruin ur blissful ignorance

[name]: i hate u both

[name]: ok but other than the fact tht he’s a typical frat boi...

ChimChim: he keeps a list of all the girls he’s “conquered”

[name]: ...as in dated? or...

ChimChim: I leave that up to ur discretion

[name]: lovely. 🙄

Tae: u didn’t actually like him... did u?

[name]: I just met him last night. I don’t think that’s enough time to determine whether or not I like him.

[name]: point is i’m just not gonna get involved w him. not worth the mental or emotional exhaustion.

ChimChim: probs a wise decision.

ChimChim: but if he EVER tries anything with you TELL US.

[name]: Chim, what are u gonna be able to do? Ur the size of a squirrel esp compared to JK.

Tae: I can take him!!

[name]: Tae you had to call me over to your house to kill a bug go build a gingerbread house or somethin

[name]: as much as i love you guys i need to wake up early tmrw so good night <3

Jimin: you stubborn ass 😑😑

[name]’s [eye color] eyes glanced from her phone to the red hoodie that Jungkook had lent her the night before. A groan escaped her lips as she reminisced how close he was to her yesterday, helping her zip up the jacket. Feeling her heart flutter, she lightly slapped her chest.

“No, you stop that!” the young woman hissed at herself. 

An alarm on her phone warned her that her class was approaching. Turning off the alarm, she slipped into a pair of jeans and white Converse. In full honesty, she kept the sweatshirt on to keep her warm... and because she was too lazy to change. She grabbed a winter jacket and her backpack, full of supplies and books, and stepped out of her front door.

“Morning.”

The voice that greeted her was definitely not the one she wanted to hear. Turning to her left, she caught the mysterious brown eyes of Jeon Jungkook. Muttering a soft “good morning,” [name] turned to lock her door before setting off to her 8 a.m. class. To her chagrin, Jungkook seemed insistent on having a conversation.

“Where are you off to so early in the morning?” Jungkook asked, taking long strides effortlessly to keep up with the girl who had gotten a headstart.

“To a class,” was the curt response. She kept her eyes trained on the hallway ahead of her.

Although she was fully expecting to have to open the door to the stairwell by herself, Jungkook had beaten her to it. Manners won over her thoughts as she thanked him.

“Would that class happen to be an 8 a.m. class with Mr. Brinkerhoff?” Jungkook purred as the two began their three-floored descent.

Oh, no. Please, no.

[name] cleared her throat in an attempt to silence her thoughts. “If it is?”

With a cheeky smile, Jungkook’s eyes lit up with mischief as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

“Then, I suppose we really should get used to seeing each other. Every Tuesday morning, bright and early!” 

The night before, [name] might have mistaken his smile for innocence, but now, all she saw were the eyes of a predator who was excited to play with his food. [name] made every attempt to stop the disgust and annoyance from showing on her face, but that must have failed.

Jungkook snickered. “Not exactly something you’re looking forward to, I’m assuming?”

[name] made numerous starts to explain herself as the two exited their apartment complex. Biting her bottom lip, [name] found herself at a loss for words. 

Finally, she said, “I doubt anyone is looking forward to an 8 a.m. class from Brinks.”

Jungkook hummed in response, knowing fully well that she was lying. “Was it something I said last night?”

[name] rolled her eyes to give him a disapproving look. Jungkook pursed his lips as he pretended to be in thought.

“Or was it the rumors that still seem to be circulating?” Jungkook guessed again.

“Okay, look, maybe I’m just really busy and am definitely not a morning person, and I’m just not looking forward to an 8 a.m. class every Tuesday,” [name] snapped, accelerating her pace slightly.

Jungkook easily matched it. Curse him and his long, stupid legs. “Okay, so definitely the rumors.”

Turning right at an intersection, they continued their leisure stroll to the building for [major] studies. From where she was, [name] could see the top of the building. Their campus was a fairly large size, bordered by a small, quiet town. Classes were about fifteen minutes from her apartment which, for Tuesdays at least, meant fifteen minutes of walking with Jeon Jungkook. Trees grew tall and created shade for students to enjoy on warmer days with picnic blankets or hammocks. In the winter, the lake froze over, and students would, albeit against the rules, ice skate or walk across it (of course, they tested the density first). 

[name] turned her head to shoot him a glare. “I never said that.”

Jungkook clicked his tongue. “Ah, but you did. Indirectly, of course. Your reaction said it all.” He took the time to speed up ahead of her just so he could walk backward and watch her face while they walked to the building that was too far away at this point. “You’re really easy to read, you know?”

[name] pouted. “I am not,” she said softly, eyes glancing towards the ground or the sky, or just anywhere that wasn’t his eyes. 

“Right now,” Jungkook mused, “you’re thinking that that building could not be any farther away.” That mischievous, arrogant smile returned to his face which only made her want to slap it away.

“Because I’m really lazy and I don’t like walking,” [name] insisted. Her grip on her backpack strip tightened with every half-truth that came out of her mouth.

And Jungkook was buying none of it. “You’re just dying to get away from me. Wow, what nasty rumors are swimming around, I wonder?” 

He finally turned his attention to the sky as he probably started imagining what rumors could possibly be circulating that would make [name] feel this uncomfortable around him. And who told her. 

Every second that passed, [name] could feel her pace quicken. Brisk steps brought her closer to the building that was soon becoming her safe haven. At this point, she couldn’t decide which was worse: an 8 a.m. class with Brinks, or being alone with Jungkook. Either way, she definitely did not want to be alone. 

"Listen--"

At the sound of her voice, Jungkook's complete attention was on the girl who suddenly felt insecure about not drying her hair completely before she left, the girl who was still wearing the sweatshirt she wore to bed. 

"I’m-I'm sorry, can you just walk normally?" [name] growled, growing annoyed with the fact that he stared at her with that fake doe-eyed look. Jungkook complied without a complaint, falling in step with her pace once more. [name] sighed. She might as well tell him the truth, leaving out the fact that Jimin and Taehyung were the ones to tell her, of course. "Yes, okay, I am a little bit uncomfortable around you. Yes, I did hear a bad rumor about you." Before he could speak, she cut him off. "Yes, I know not to trust rumors before just talking to the person, but it made sense with your status of frat boy..." 

Jungkook waited patiently to see if she had anything else to say. He seemed amused at the very least, but unlike [name], he wasn't as easy to read. 

"And then, there's the fact that you are part of a fraternity, and I just don't really socialize with those kinds of people. Or any kind of people, really, but that's not the issue here." Another sigh escaped her lips. Sighs seemed to accompany Tuesdays. "I just don't really know if I even have time to be in a relationship.”

At this, Jungkook finally reacted. In the worst way too. He laughed.

[name] eyed him suspiciously. "I'm sorry, was there something funny in what I just said?"

Jungkook shook his head as if to say no, but his laughter shook his whole body. The few other students roaming around turned to see who was the source of such a loud sound at 8 a.m. 

"No, no, I'm sorry. It's just, uh, I never said I wanted to start something with you," Jungkook answered, swallowing any remaining laughter as best as he could.

The heat ran to [name]'s cheeks as realization overcame her. She wanted to find a hole and just hid in it. Maybe the lake was warm enough to crack open beneath her feet. If she asked politely, maybe the ground would just split beneath her. All she wanted right now was to not be with Jeon Jungkook, especially not on the way to an 8 a.m. class with Brinks on a Tuesday morning.

The two continued to walk in silence until they finally reached the building, [name] attempting to ignore Jungkook the rest of the way. When they arrived, [name] made it a point to get to the door before Jungkook could open it for her. They took the flight of stairs to the second floor to find the classroom where Brinks would be teaching. Finding freedom in the fact that other people were even here, [name] took a seat at one of the middle tables, where she could see the board, but not be called out for doodling a little. For some bizarre reason, Jungkook found it absolutely necessary to take the seat next to her. 

"I'm sorry," were the first words that came out of his mouth. Good thing, too. "I shouldn't have laughed. That was immature of me."

"You think?" [name] spat, still bitter about the humiliation she just suffered. 

"Ouch," Jungkook chuckled softly, clutching his chest playfully. "I'm sorry if I came off that way. I'd really like us to be friends if that's okay."

"I don't know," [name] pondered aloud. It was her turn to be a bit immature. "Should I be friends with a guy who has a list of all the girls he's banged? Gee, I wonder."

"Ah, so that was the rumor," Jungkook murmured under his breath. "That's not true, just so you know."

For the first time since he laughed at her face, [name] looked at Jungkook. Still as beautiful, a bit less egotistical. 

Jungkook held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, you said it yourself. Better to hear from the source, right?"

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Wow, tough crowd, eh? Guess I deserve it," Jungkook speculated. "You probably can't. But you can also choose to trust me when I say I do not have a list of all the girls that I've banged."

[name] said nothing, but started to unpack her notebook and pencil case to take notes. Jungkook waited until she was done, bouncing casually in his seat as if a song from his childhood was stuck in his head. When Mr. Brinkerhoff walked into the classroom at 8:01 a.m. to start his 8:00 a.m. class, Jungkook found himself a bit more anxious to get a reaction out of the girl. 

"Let me prove it to you," Jungkook suggested in a hushed tone.

"Prove what to me?"

"That I'm actually a good person," Jungkook replied. "Give me some time to prove to you that we should be friends."

[name] turned it over in her mind. Judging from what she'd seen, she didn't really have any reason to not believe that Jungkook was a good person. After all, if she really did think he was a bad person, she could have easily just gotten up to change seats. Instead, she made a conscious decision to stay where she was, and a part of her knew it wasn't just because she liked the seat. But the humiliation from minutes ago replayed in her mind, filling the capacity of her brain until it was all she could think about. She attempted to ignore the nostalgic heat rush to her cheeks. 

"A month," [name] finally whispered. "I will give you thirty days to prove to me that we should be friends."

"Thirty-one days," Jungkook argued with a cheeky grin.

Mr. Brinkerhoff's eyes lingered on them as he continued his lesson. [name] waited until his eyes turned to another unfortunate student who was dozing off in the very back of the classroom.

"Fine, fine!" [name] exclaimed without the use of her vocal cords. "Thirty-one if one day makes that much of a difference to you."

Jungkook's eyes lit up with amusement and excitement, and [name] instantly knew that she would come to regret her decision. But at the moment, she was curious as to how on earth he was going to convince her and what on earth he was going to do. 

[name] [last name] was just as dumb as she was stubborn and, because of this, she doomed herself to an 8 a.m. class every Tuesday morning with the one person she had wanted to avoid, Jeon Jungkook.

[straykidsramblings]

hey!!! Just wanted to let you know I’m super excited for “thirty one days”!!!

oh, thank you!! I’m actually really excited to be writing it. Unfortunately, I have finals for the next three days, so I probably won’t be able to get much done. I actually just spent the last hour beginning the next chapter instead of studying for my two exams for tomorrow… oops… 

Thank you for the encouragement though! I really appreciate it, and I hope I live up to your standards :)

[straykidsramblings]

thirty-one days. [prologue]

Pairing: Frat Boy!Jungkook x Fem!Reader [college! au]

Genre: fluff

Word Count: ~2.5K

Summary: An exhausted college introvert who wants nothing more than to be left alone, [name] gives Jungkook thirty-one days to prove to her that they should be friends. Jungkook has other plans on his mind: to make her fall for him in thirty-one days.

Author’s note: I usually write in the feminine third person, but feel free to change it to however you wish. I’ll keep reader anatomy mentions to a minimum if any at all.

[0] [1] [2]

january 14.

The January breeze played with [name]’s [hair color] hair as she revealed herself to the outdoors. She shuddered at the rush of coolness that hit her body and wrapped her arms around herself in a futile attempt to keep warm. Bad day to not bring a sweater or a jacket; heck, even a blanket would suffice at this point. A sigh escaped her lips as she reminded herself that there was still the remainder of January, the entirety of February, and at least half of March until warmer weather might decide to come around.

“[name]!” A familiar deep voice called out to her, piercing the silence.

Turning around to her right, she brought one hand to her face to block the bright sunset. Behind her hand, she watched as three figures approached her. [name] could only recognize her two best friends, Jimin and Taehyung. The last man was attractive, to say the least, with soft brown eyes and parted black hair. She didn’t realize she was staring until Taehyung cleared his throat; his lips curled slightly into a disapproving smile, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. 

“[name], aren’t you cold?” Jimin questioned, creating as much friction with hands to keep them from freezing. “You should really take better care of yourself, or you’ll end up freezing to death.”

[name] scoffed, “You’re in the same boat I am. Are you in a position to be lecturing me?” She shot him a quick glare before remembering the stranger in front of her. He was laughing. Averting her gaze down to the ground, her cheeks began to warm themselves from the embarrassment she felt. “I forgot...”

The stranger seemed amused. “Here, you can use mine.” Her head shot up out of shock. He had already begun removing his red hoodie before she could protest. “I don’t really get cold anyway.” His long fingers held out the jacket to her which she hesitantly accepted. “And I’ve been told I’m a natural heater.” He laughed once more and [name] could have sworn spring had come.

“But,” she laughed while still holding the jacket to her chest, “I don’t even your name. I can’t just take your jacket from you when it’s this cold out! I feel bad.”

“Jeon Jungkook.”

The answer was simple, his name, but it still managed to make her heart skip a beat. It sounded so eerily familiar to her as if she had always known it. She kept staring into his deep, soft brown eyes. She had completely lost track of time until she was brought back to reality by Taehyung clearing his throat once more. 

Wow, she had completely forgotten those two existed!

Oh no, Jungkook was waiting for her name.

“[name]!” she blurted out, eyes widening ever so slightly. She bit her lip after recognized the volume she had just used, making sure to use a lower one as she clarified. “[name] [last name].”

Jungkook only smiled politely, but she found herself melting again. “There, problem solved. But if you don’t actually put it on, it won’t make much of a difference.”

He moved around her to help her put it on, something they all knew she was completely capable of doing, but [name] found herself having trouble with remembering how to do so. As he held the hoodie open for her, [name] slipped her arms inside the sleeves. Jungkook’s fingers lightly grazed her arms as he helped her adjust the hoodie to fit her better. Jungkook looked at his work before nodding with a small smile.

[name] decided that it would be for the best to make her appear like a fully functioning human being. Her frozen fingers fiddled with the zipper of the hoodie. The heat rose to her cheeks once more (did it ever really leave though...?) as she repeatedly struggled with the zipper. Stupid zipper!

Jungkook only laughed once more before reaching over to do it himself. He waited to touch the zipper until she gave him a small nod of approval. At this distance, she could feel the heat radiating off of him.

This was just about one of the most embarrassing “first meets” [name] had ever experienced. And there were already plenty of those.

The disgusted looks on Taehyung’s and Jimin’s faces brought her back from the heaven of Jeon Jungkook to the reality of [name] [last name]. She mouthed a venomous “what” to her two best friends before they rolled their eyes. Jungkook raised his head as he pulled the zipper to the top, and she was lost in him again. His already beautiful countenance was graced by a loving smile as he gently pulled the hood over her head.

“Ultimate protection,” he explained with a small laugh that made [name] forget she was even cold in the first place. Adding a small pat to the top of her head, Jungkook drew his hands back and hid them in his jeans' pockets. “It’s gotten pretty late though.”

Jungkook looked at Jimin and Taehyung, his body still facing [name]’s. Now that his attention was on those two, [name] seized the opportunity to make faces at two boys who, by the way, had changed their expressions from disgust to normalcy all too quickly. She shook her head at them disappointedly. 

“We’ll take her back to her place,” Jimin reassured Jungkook. “She has a tendency to get distracted and end up somewhere completely random, so we were planning on picking her up anyway.” 

[name] cleared her throat. “Yeah, I was actually thinking about getting some bubble tea, but I guess it’s too late now.” 

The magic words had been said. After being friends for so long, Taehyung, Jimin, and [name] all agreed that they needed code words for certain situations. In most cases, these were things like, “Hey, make up an excuse so we can leave”, “Stop talking about things that we don’t want people out of our friend group hearing”, or “Leave me alone with this attractive person.” “Bubble tea” just happened to be the last one. Upon hearing these words, [name]’s two best friends grimaced. But they were bound to their best friend agreement regardless of whether or not they liked it. 

Her voice had brought Jungkook’s attention back to her, and she couldn’t even tell that she had started smiling. “I’d really appreciate you if you would. Walk me home, that is.”

Jungkook returned her expression. “Yeah, of course. Which way are you headed?”

[name] pointed her left-hand thumb to the left. “That way.” 

She prayed he was going in the same direction.

Jungkook flashed his pearly whites at her again. “Same.”

Score!

From the sidelines, Taehyung spoke first. “You know what? I completely forgot. Yoongi still has the notes I need for tomorrow. You guys go on ahead without me.”

He shot [name] a glare for making him go unnecessarily out of the way instead of straight home just because she wanted to be with a cute guy. In return, she offered him a fake pout and a “be safe.” Jungkook and Jimin waved him goodbye as well. With that, he began his long walk to Min Yoongi’s dorm. He could probably just crash there anyway. 

Jimin suddenly exclaimed, “Oh no!” He groaned, “I’m so sorry, guys, I completely forgot that I was supposed to talk to the T.A. Seokjin tonight about something for one of my classes tomorrow. I think I can make it if I run...” 

“Oh, tell Jin I said hi!” [name] told him upon the mention of her childhood friend. 

Jimin laughed. “I will, but he’s gonna get mad if you keep calling him that.”

“In which case, you know to tell him that Jin is just as manly as Seokjin and definitely not a cute nickname that the girl he’s known since she was three keeps calling him.”

Jimin shook his head but promised to relay her message. Waving goodbye to Jungkook, Jimin asked him to make sure [name] made it back to her apartment alright. Then, there were only the two of them.

Man, bubble tea works like a charm.

“You all seem close,” Jungkook commented, seeing Jimin’s silhouette retreat into the darkness of the night. 

[name] giggled. “I guess so. I mean, I grew up with Jin, and I’ve known the other two since high school.” She shrugged as the two shared eye contact once more. “I’d say it’s also because we just clicked. Y’know, like they were meant to be in my life one way or another.”

As the two began their journey to [name]’s apartment side-by-side, Jungkook remained somewhat quiet. The shared silence didn’t seem too tense or suffocating. If anything, Jungkook seemed to enjoy the silence that accompanied the winter air.

[name] found herself attempting to not stare, but she found herself mesmerized by the way his breath turned visible in the cool air. He really was too easy to just stare at for hours.

After [name] recognized the lamppost that marked halfway to her apartment, she decided that she should probably say something to him. 

“So, how did you all meet?”

Jungkook glanced at her briefly before answering. Maybe it was just her imagination, but did he seem hesitant to reply? “We met at a frat party last semester.” Oh, well that explains it.

As a socially-inept introvert, [name] tended to avoid parties. Which would explain how her two best friends met someone she didn’t know. [name] flipped the idea over in her head.

“So, did you all have a mutual acquaintance, or were you just all where the alcohol was at the same time?”

Jungkook shrugged. “Both, I guess. And more... I mean, I was hosting the party after all.”

“Oh.” 

The word had escaped her lips before she could stop it. [name] cursed her honesty as Jungkook’s normally pure smile changed into one of mischief. Whether that was simply her eyes playing tricks on her due to this new information or Jungkook wanted to tease her, she couldn’t tell.

Their eyes were trained on the sidewalk ahead of them as the building to her apartment came into view. 

“Is that a bad thing?”Jungkook asked. 

[name] pursed her lips before answering. “No. I just wasn’t expecting it, I guess.”

“I don’t fit the stereotype?”

“Well, I never said that--”

“Good. Because, believe it or not, I do.”

The next time she looked at him, her [eye color] eyes met his brown ones; however, they were no longer the innocent, soft eyes that they were when she had first met him. They had a different feel to them as if he was planning to push her against a wall and kiss her fiercely, passionately. In fact, his whole aura around him changed into something darker than the angelic Jungkook she had just met. When she broke eye contact, Jungkook let out a laugh. 

[name] stifled a gasp as she remembered where she had heard Jungkook’s name from. One of the girls in her classes was gossiping about a very flirtatious frat boy who, apparently, made bets with the other guys to see which girls’ pants he could get into. That person was a man named Jeon Jungkook. Before she saw the desire in his eyes, she would never have guessed that they were the same person. 

When they reached the apartment complex, [name] forced a laugh. She wasn’t quite sure what she would do, but she knew for sure that she had never had any real intention to be friends with a frat boy. Jimin and Taehyung--even Jin-- had warned her enough about them. What’s more, she was too invested in her studies to really be focused on anything else. She had barely enough time for her classes, her part-time job, her friends, and everything else she did in her life. Getting a boyfriend--especially a known flirt--was definitely not on her agenda. 

“Well, this is it,” [name] said. “Thank you for walking me home, Jungkook.”

“No problem,” was the answer. 

“No, really,” she insisted. “I really do appreciate it. But I’d hate to ask you to do it again.”

Jungkook smirked. “Why wouldn’t I? I mean, I live in the same apartment complex.”

[name] tried to hide any surprise on her face. “But-But I thought...”

Jungkook clicked his tongue. “Moved out of the frat house to this apartment complex after the first semester. I wanted to try living on my own.”

“Oh... that’s... nice.”

The two walked inside together, Jungkook significantly more at ease than [name]. When they began walking up the stairs, [name]’s eyes continuously glanced at Jungkook, waiting to see which floor she would attempt to avoid for a while. Unfortunately, he followed her all the way to hers.

“You know, when Jimin said to make sure I got back alright, he only meant to the building.”

Jungkook scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I live on the same floor.” He held the heavy door from the staircase to the hallway open for her with one arm. 

“Oh, what a lovely coincidence,” [name] muttered under her breath. 

Jungkook smirked at the comment and shook his head slightly. With every step leading down the long hall, [name] wondered if he was ever going to pick his own room! Unfortunately, [name] reached hers first. 

“Well, this is my room,” [name] forced out a dry laugh. Suddenly, everything seemed awkward to her. Had it always been like that and she didn’t notice? Is that why the other two were cringing so much? She desperately looked through her bag to find her pair of keys.

To her surprise and dismay, Jungkook kept walking... until he arrived at the door right next to hers. “Oh, what a lovely coincidence.” His hands fished his keys out of his pocket. “This is mine.”

[name]’s keys dropped from her hands. He wiggled his eyebrows at her obvious shock. 

“Looks like I’m just meant to be in your life.”

With that, he bid her goodnight before retiring to his room. With a sigh, [name] picked her keys up off of the floor and unlocked the front door to her apartment. Upon entering, she allowed gravity to overtake her and drag her to the floor. Leaning against the cool, metal door, [name] found herself dreading the next semester.

It was a new year.

It was a new semester.

It was a new problem. And this problem happened to live right next door.

The best part: she had made a new friend.

The worst part: she didn’t want to take off his red hoodie, choosing to ignore her acknowledge of the said hoodie. 

On the other side of the wall, Jungkook found himself smiling as he recalled various instances from his brief interaction with the ever-mysterious, [name] [last name]. She was definitely attractive to him although, more in a “you’re cute” way instead of a “you’re not getting any sleep tonight” way. Either way, it was too late; Jungkook was invested.

One way or another, he was going to become her friend. Maybe even something more. All he needed was thirty-one days.