To autistic people who are starting to menstruate...
Okay I’m gonna go all auntie Cyndi on all my younger autistic followers who are new to having periods. I’ve been having my periods for over 20 years now, so I’m experienced in this.
First off, you may have your first period and not have another one for a few months. Your periods may start and happen like clockwork. Your periods may always be irregular.
It’s normal for your ovulation and menstruation to shift throughout the year just like the seasons shift the sun’s position in the sky.
On average, your period comes about two weeks after you ovulate. I’ve pinned mine down enough to know I bleed exactly 19 days after I ovulate, so I can look at a calendar and figure out within a four day margin of when to expect my period. Note that I said on average, some people may have a shorter or longer menstrual cycle.
You’ll know you’re ovulating when you produce a lot of mucus from your vagina that looks and feels like raw egg white. It’s clear, a little more viscous than your spit, it’s very slippery and it will drip out in long strings. I produce a lot, another person may not produce much. If you notice you’re really slimy down there when you’re wiping after you pee, and the toilet paper comes away with stringy slimy stuff on it, take note of the date you saw that and note the date again when get your period. Keep taking notes and a pattern may emerge. That’s your menstrual cycle.
NOTE: If you have unprotected sex during this time, you have a strong chance of getting pregnant. Sperm can swim a long way and survive a long time in the Fallopian tubes, waiting for an egg to come down. Always assume you can get pregnant between the time of finishing a period and starting the next one.
(And I hope this second one never happens to you, but...)
If you were raped during this time, and if they ejaculated inside you or on your vulva, you may get pregnant.
Always practice safe sex and use birth control if you want to avoid pregnancy, and if you were raped you need to assume they got you pregnant and get help to deal with it ASAP.
Now, lemme tell you a little about periods and autism going together.
PMS and your period can really mess with your sensory issues, your meltdown / shutdown threshold, your tolerance for socializing and your ability to control emotions.
You might have brain fog and just feel yucky and groggy.
You might find you want to sleep more or can’t sleep at all.
You might wake up with your armpits sweating heavily.
You may notice you start sweating with less exertion, or you walk into a warm room and swear you’re standing on the sun.
On the flipside, you may feel colder than usual, so walking into a cooler place will feel like walking into Antarctica.
Your skin may get more oily and that may mean greasier hair and more pimples. I know that feels unfair if you already have a lot of acne and problems with hygiene. If your hair length permits washing your hair in a sink, you can do that if a shower is too much. Try to wash your face gently with a wet washcloth when you wake up and before going to bed. Make sure to remove all your makeup before retiring to sleep if you wear any, because it will clog your pores even more if you don’t.
Your body odor may intensify, so keep baby wipes and deodorant / antiperspirant around if showering is hard. Hand sanitizer wiped on your pits can help in a situation where you realize you reek and can’t wash off, but only use that in emergencies.
You may experience some constipation and gas. That’s progesterone’s fault, sometimes it slows down your colon.
You may go from constipated to having huge, greasy poops or even some diarrhea. That’s your hormones shifting. Sometimes a period is a natural laxative because your intestines move a little faster thanks to the hormones that make your uterus contract (prostaglandins) to push out the endometrium. So if you have issues with fecal incontinence, you may have to deal with extra odors and messes when you change your incontinence protection.
Once your period starts, you’ll probably have to pee a lot more often. This is your body getting rid of the water it retained. If you deal with urinary incontinence, this might mean you need to change your incontinence protection more often to avoid infections, skin breakdown and odors.
Btw, you can dehydrate a little as your body sheds the excess water, so make sure to stay hydrated. I take three small sips or one big gulp from my water bottle after I use the bathroom during my period. It’s a helpful routine.
You may have food cravings and appetite changes. You may feel always hungry or not want to eat much or at all. Your desire to samefood might increase. (Mine is currently the cheese pizza flavored Cheez-Its.) Increased hunger is your body getting ready to lose nutrients through your menstrual flow. If you don’t feel your hunger signals, notice if you feel irritable or weak more often, it may mean you need to eat.
Your boobs may get a little bigger and get achy-feeling, so much that you can’t stand a bra or binder. You may get achy feelings in your joints or muscles. It’s likely water retention.
You may put on some weight. This is also water retention. You may find you always gain around the same about of weight each time you’re close to your period.
You may be really impulsive or take risks you wouldn’t usually take, sometimes to the point of recklessness.
You may feel restless like you want to climb out of your skin. Your frustration threshold might plummet to nothing, so everything is aggravating.
If you have self injurious meltdowns, you may have more SIB than usual. You might also notice an increased need to stim, and sometimes stimming doesn’t help you feel better or calm down.
If you’re physically able, try to do something that makes you exert yourself, like jogging, moving heavy things or some other kind of vigorous exercise. Even dance is good if that’s what you enjoy. Think of it as venting excess energy so it’s not stuck in your chest.
If you’re not physically able to exert yourself, try snuggling under a weighted blanket and pressure stimming. Think of it as drawing excess energy to where you’re putting pressure so it’s not stuck in your chest.
You may have mood swings and default to a certain mood so much that you feel stuck in it.
If you’re prone to migraines, you’re more likely to have one when you’re premenstrual.
All of this can be scary if you’re still new to having periods.
See a doctor if your bad feelings are so bad that you get super depressed and have suicidal thoughts two or more periods in a row, It could be PMDD, which is the nasty older sister of PMS.
PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or a very extreme version of PMS.
It’s kinda normal for PMS symptoms to vary in intensity from month to month, but if you find yourself consistently in a very bad mental state before your period, you may need extra help to handle it.
Once your flow starts, you might have bursts of feeling REALLY good or affectionate: that’s because of oxytocin and maybe some serotonin, enjoy it.
Your flow may be fairly light, get heavy and then lighten again. You may start with a lot of gushes and then it lightens up until it stops. If you normally have a light flow and suddenly it turns heavy with an increase in cramping, there may be a problem that needs a doctor to check out. If your heavy flow gets even heavier, to the point that you’re soaking through the thickest pads, there may be a problem. Don’t let them blow you off, be firm. “I don’t normally bleed this much or have this much cramping, something is up.”
Things like stress, weight gain or weight loss can affect your period. Being sick can sometimes throw it off. Periods are fickle, annoying and weird things. Keep track of them, take note of the color and amount of your flow and get to know it. Knowing your body at its baseline will help you recognize it later if something goes wrong. It may take your cycles time to find their “normal” as your body figures out how to handle having periods.
It never hurts to always have a pad, tampon, menstrual cup or whatever you use to catch your flow. Keep it in your backpack, purse, pocket, etc.. If you prefer pads, it’s always a good idea to put one in your underwear if you’re expecting your period and you go out somewhere. That way it won’t be a huge emergency if your flow starts. Putting one in when you go to sleep at the time you expect your period flow can also help you sleep easy and not worry about making a mess in your bed.
(I personally prefer thick pads, so it feels like I won’t leak, but I know that may be a sensory yuck for someone else. Try different things till you find what works.)
Those little gushes you feel occasionally are normal. Yeah, sometimes you will feel your period goop coming out. Some advice: when you’re using the toilet, push a bit and then do a kegel, which is squeezing the muscles in your vagina that stop your pee from flowing— you might push a lot of period stuff out. It’ll help you not have to change your pad as often.
I’m cis, so I can’t speak on how taking testosterone will affect periods. I will leave this open for an autistic person who is taking T to add to this if they want. 👍🏻
Now that I said all that, it’s possible you may have zero premenstrual issues and your period won’t cause you much trouble at all. Every uterus-owning body is different. People already dealing with depression or other mood disorders may have more trouble during their period, or their period may even boost their mood for a short time. As I said, everyone is different.
